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I Think I Might Be Getting Catfished


mitsuhoney

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So long story short, I think I being catfished.

 

I have been speaking with him for the past two days and he has been saying how we used to talk back when I was attending college in New York. He sends me more than enough photos, but I honestly do not ever remember speaking to him (and I should since he is quite attractive). Normally, I would just block him and avoid him at all costs but what is making me stop that is the fact that he knows a lot about my history, about things that not many people even know about me, so it makes me think he might be telling me the truth and my mind is just trying to find some negative because of all the other times I have been used, played, cheated and catfished. So, yesterday, we were supposed to talk over Skype (a video chat face-to-face) and I thought that maybe if we did that, it would jog my memory somehow, however, he ended up not being able to video chat because his sister was home (and I could hear her) so all he was only able to do was talk to me through audio while I was on video (though I did turn off my video after a while). So I am really unsure what to do now. Should I continue speaking to him but tread carefully or should I block him and avoid him completely?

 

Also, I should note that the reason why I probably do not remember him is because of a very severe trauma that occurred to me on my last year of living in New York before I finally decided to move back home to Hawaii. There are a lot of times during that period of my life that are completely blacked out and I cannot remember at all.

 

Thank you for any help in advance.

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well maybe you should confront him? say you really don't remember him and how does he knows all that stuff about you. bc the way you put it made it seem a bit creepy tbh. i mean can you totally forget a person just like that after sharing so much? and depending on how he responds maybe joke about him catfishing you to see what he says?

 

and be careful with how much you share bc this person seems to know a lot more about you than you know about them. 

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Gurl... You compromising your well being over a good looking guy? Priorities, get em straight.

 

There's a lot of ways for him to prove his the real deal. Like asking him to take a photo with his name written down on a piece of paper or getting his stank ass on cam.

 

That whole "I can't cam cause my.sister is home" is real sus.

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For me, the issue wouldn't be remembering him, but more so who he used to be. I'd say tread carefully because even if he ain't catfishing you, his intentions will never be clear. esp since you don't remember him like that. Also maybe ask for another skype session again? Just to make sure

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Tread carefully. Even if it's someone you used to know, you don't know anything about him.

 

Yeah I think I might have to. I just really want to know how he knows so much about me.

 

well maybe you should confront him? say you really don't remember him and how does he knows all that stuff about you. bc the way you put it made it seem a bit creepy tbh. i mean can you totally forget a person just like that after sharing so much? and depending on how he responds maybe joke about him catfishing you to see what he says?

 

and be careful with how much you share bc this person seems to know a lot more about you than you know about them. 

 

That is what I was thinking, But I did have a lot of blank times in the course of two years because of a traumatic experience, no matter if he was a good part of it or not I always forgot. There are still people that I know and love who reminded me of things and then I remembered. It was like having amnesia.

 

Gurl... You compromising your well being over a good looking guy? Priorities, get em straight.

 

There's a lot of ways for him to prove his the real deal. Like asking him to take a photo with his name written down on a piece of paper or getting his stank ass on cam.

 

That whole "I can't cam cause my.sister is home" is real sus.

 

No. I am not. I am trying to figure out how this person knows so much about me. As I said, I had a really traumatic experience that ended up having me deal with a lot of blank periods of the course of two years in New York, it was that bad. I am thinking that he might have been subjected to that. I mean, if he is being as honest as he says he is than doing a photo of him with his name on it should be no problem at all.

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It's very fishy and in this sort of thing I consider best to be on the defensive and assume he's lying until finding otherwise.

 

One of the most evident signals of a person not being who they claim is when avoiding video chat. His explanation might sound convincing and convenient but I will still assume he's catfishing you. I don't know what you expect to get from this but I would have him blocked by now.

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Yeah I think I might have to. I just really want to know how he knows so much about me.

 

 

That is what I was thinking, But I did have a lot of blank times in the course of two years because of a traumatic experience, no matter if he was a good part of it or not I always forgot. There are still people that I know and love who reminded me of things and then I remembered. It was like having amnesia.

 

 

No. I am not. I am trying to figure out how this person knows so much about me. As I said, I had a really traumatic experience that ended up having me deal with a lot of blank periods of the course of two years in New York, it was that bad. I am thinking that he might have been subjected to that. I mean, if he is being as honest as he says he is than doing a photo of him with his name on it should be no problem at all.

i see... 

don't you have a friend who might have known him too? you could ask them to confirm his side of the story

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It's very fishy and in this sort of thing I consider best to be on the defensive and assume he's lying until finding otherwise.

 

One of the most evident signals of a person not being who they claim is when avoiding video chat. His explanation might sound convincing and convenient but I will still assume he's catfishing you. I don't know what you expect to get from this but I would have him blocked by now.

 

Thank you. This is what I am doing.

 

Honestly, I wish I could say, but there is something really major about me that not many people know that he happens to know. So it makes me think he is telling me the truth. I will just tread carefully, and not be too open with him on things until I know for sure he is who he says he is.

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Yeah I think I might have to. I just really want to know how he knows so much about me.

 

 

That is what I was thinking, But I did have a lot of blank times in the course of two years because of a traumatic experience, no matter if he was a good part of it or not I always forgot. There are still people that I know and love who reminded me of things and then I remembered. It was like having amnesia.

 

 

No. I am not. I am trying to figure out how this person knows so much about me. As I said, I had a really traumatic experience that ended up having me deal with a lot of blank periods of the course of two years in New York, it was that bad. I am thinking that he might have been subjected to that. I mean, if he is being as honest as he says he is than doing a photo of him with his name on it should be no problem at all.

Even if he's really the person of the photo, he might have bad intentions, just because he's good looking doesn't mean he's a good person

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For me, the issue wouldn't be remembering him, but more so who he used to be. I'd say tread carefully because even if he ain't catfishing you, his intentions will never be clear. esp since you don't remember him like that. Also maybe ask for another skype session again? Just to make sure

 

 

Do you have any friends who used to be with you in New York? Maybe they can help you figure out who he is. But be careful because as "Kukkungie" said, his intentions will never be clear.

 

I'll do that. If he keeps prolonging this "I cannot video chat" thing than I will know he is catfishing me. I guess the reason why I am so bothered by this is because of what he knows.

 

For the most part, I keep my personal intimate life pretty private from friends (not really into overly dramatic PDA in front of friends either) so there have not been many cases of me being around guys in that way in front of my friends but I will indeed ask around.

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I'll do that. If he keeps prolonging this "I cannot video chat" thing than I will know he is catfishing me. I guess the reason why I am so bothered by this is because of what he knows.

 

For the most part, I keep my personal intimate life pretty private from friends (not really into overly dramatic PDA in front of friends either) so there have not been many cases of me being around guys in that way in front of my friends but I will indeed ask around.

You sound extremely sensible, and looks like you're already approaching this situation with cautiously. I wouldn't worry too much if you maintain a boundary between you and him.

It must be really off putting to have to experience this though, I would be so weirded out if someone i didn't know/couldn't remember knew me soo well. Though maybe it's become the norm after your unfortunate experience?

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You sound extremely sensible, and looks like you're already approaching this situation with cautiously. I wouldn't worry too much if you maintain a boundary between you and him.

It must be really off putting to have to experience this though, I would be so weirded out if someone i didn't know/couldn't remember knew me soo well. Though maybe it's become the norm after your unfortunate experience?

 

Unfortunately it has become the norm, there have been other people who have come from my past that say that they remember meeting me or talking to me and it jogged my memory, but those were all small encounters, or things that were not really a big deal. However, with him showing he is attracted to me and everything he knows, it's more extreme than other cases. I just needed an outlet to talk about this. Thank you so much for giving me some advice and support, it really helps to be able to talk to people on here.

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Unfortunately it has become the norm, there have been other people who have come from my past that say that they remember meeting me or talking to me and it jogged my memory, but those were all small encounters, or things that were not really a big deal. However, with him showing he is attracted to me and everything he knows, it's more extreme than other cases. I just needed an outlet to talk about this. Thank you so much for giving me some advice and support, it really helps to be able to talk to people on here.

wow this sounds horrible, its such a shame and I'm really sorry you have to go through this. 

As for him, you can't be blamed for being so hesitant even if he's telling the truth, so please take a break whenever you feel fishy about him. Stay safe xx

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Have you done a reverse image search?

 

What's that?

 

wow this sounds horrible, its such a shame and I'm really sorry you have to go through this. 

As for him, you can't be blamed for being so hesitant even if he's telling the truth, so please take a break whenever you feel fishy about him. Stay safe xx

 

Thank you for understanding. It's really hard having to deal with this but thankfully, it's gotten better. I just can't explain how it even happened but doctors say that when you deal with something so traumatic, your mind can sometimes erase it or block it from memory. I'll have to be really careful with what I say to him, because I do not want him to have the upperhand.

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just ask yourself how you benefit from even talking to this person at all, and then ask yourself what your relationship is if somehow he ends up telling the truth. you don't remember him, he's not memorable, what makes you think he will interest you now? only reason why you seem interested now is because you think you're being catfished but if you're ever able to get over that and believe his story what happens then? sounds like a waste of time and he could just be using what he knows to get more info to use against you because what he has isn't enough so i'd be sure to talk a lot about the weather and youre favorite sports teams instead of anything else if you really have to talk to him at all

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What's that?

 

 

 

Save a picture of him that he sent you, upload it here:

 

https://www.tineye.com/

 

It'll show you if that image is from, for example, a tumblr post made five years ago or whatever. If you can't find the pictures he is sending you anywhere on the internet, then that's a good sign.

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just ask yourself how you benefit from even talking to this person at all, and then ask yourself what your relationship is if somehow he ends up telling the truth. you don't remember him, he's not memorable, what makes you think he will interest you now? only reason why you seem interested now is because you think you're being catfished but if you're ever able to get over that and believe his story what happens then? sounds like a waste of time and he could just be using what he knows to get more info to use against you because what he has isn't enough so i'd be sure to talk a lot about the weather and youre favorite sports teams instead of anything else if you really have to talk to him at all

 

The fact is (and what I have been explaining) is that I have had a traumatic experience that caused me to completely forget points in my life within the last two years of living in New York, not all of them were bad. Through time, I started to slowly regain my memory of certain events in that time period (either by being triggered by an object or a person) and the fact that this guy knows things about me that not many people do makes me wonder, did I really know him? What was our relationship back then? So yes I am treading carefully, rest assured I am not telling him anything that will give him power over me so I am being very cautious of it.

 

Save a picture of him that he sent you, upload it here:

 

https://www.tineye.com/

 

It'll show you if that image is from, for example, a tumblr post made five years ago or whatever. If you can't find the pictures he is sending you anywhere on the internet, then that's a good sign.

 

Thanks! I'll have to use this then!

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UPDATE: I am no longer speaking to him.

 

The past couple of days have been incredibly stressful for me. Work wise, I have been having a huge amount of stress to a point where I honestly feel like I might lose my shit. He only made it worse. He kept having the tendency to make a small issue into a bigger one and in the course of speaking to him for only 3 days, we got into more than six disagreements or arguments. Yesterday, I even told him that I feel like he is catfishing me because while he has a ton of photos and videos to show me, not one of them has ever been live (either by Skype or Snapchat) or never has been what I have asked for (he sent me a random video of him playing the flute, which we never even talked about yet when I asked him to send me a video (within that time frame) of him blowing me a kiss, he never did or seemed to have changed the subject).

 

I really have no idea how he knows so much about me, though he claims I have ghosted him in the past and I didn't remember but after yet another unneccesary argument today, I realized if I did ghost him I now know why. He is too overbearing, toxic and makes me feel like I am a bad person when I have done nothing wrong. To make matters worse (since he did share 18+ photos and videos of him, the latter of which always seemed to be a different looking "private part" from the next to which he explained "it's just the angle/lighting that makes it look different") he had been asking me to Skype for him (without his video on) and when I said no he would get upset and claim I didn't care about him and I didn't trust him.

 

Anyway, there's more to the story but that's the basics of it all. I blocked him and deleted him completely, there is still a part of me that wishes to contact him again but my friend who talked to me about it made a good point, "Mitsu, this is the first time I have seen you take an initiative. You always let these guys walk all over you and treat you like shit, I see you finally having self respect for yourself and walking away from something that can be so damaging to you." So I'll tell myself this, that leaving him (or he will say "ghosting" him) is healthy for me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think it is possible that you forgot him, but you should still tread carefully until you have a proper video chat maybe, for your own safety <3

 

Read post above yours. :)

 

I cut all contact with him, he was just too much stress for me. If I want to be in a relationship, I should be in one that isn't so stressful like that one was turning out to be. Thank you for your advice though, I definitely did what I could to ensure my safety.

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