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You are empty, yet filled with greed. You rely on the comfort you receive from affirmation. Even when you tell yourself quite clearly that you do not need to receive any of it - and that you would be proud for others if they had received it instead - you still feel upset when you notice others getting it, in which you (unconsciously) internalise also wanting to have. You feel bitter and angry at the situation. You blame others for their actions. Somehow, you also blame yourself and question your actions, even when you know that you can never fully predict the type and number of given responses.

You know that you are also simultaneously engaged yet disgusted by those who decide to engage in conformity and adopt a crowd mentality. I can't blame you: I think all you want is to be loved and appreciated. It's okay to be vulnerable. Even then I can feel the deprivation within your own loneliness; sadness is omnipresent. I especially fear for your physical and mental health.

Do not bite the hand that feeds you.

Please let go of the anger that consumes you. It's not healthy to be aggravated by the actions of others. If you see others intending on undervaluing your contributions, assert your worth; not to them, but to yourself. Do not create these wounds that will not allow for yourself to recover.

Your supervisor was right when he described you to be 'hypercritical' and encouraged you to become more optimistic rather than pessimistic after hearing your spiel. Do not let those comments deter you. Rather, embrace it and move forward in wanting to achieve it.

If you must write more, do so. Just remember to rest: you've worked hard. There are no regrets.
It'll be over soon, here and there, I promise you.

Edited by Chuan

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You nitpick at the tiniest of faults and review them critically in such an excessive way. You're also not demonstrating impartiality.

Be more willing to accept the other perspectives shared, even if you feel conflicted.

Be less belligerent. This, too, is important for your wellbeing.

Edited by Chuan

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On 1/28/2020 at 4:21 AM, LaVieEnRose said:

" Get up, get up, get up and go on...

Keep your head up, love. Keep your heart strong. "

Console yourself with these words. To hate is not worth the effort.

Edited by Chuan
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Hurt manifests in two ways.

It is either an indicator for lack of readiness, or a sign of escape. It could also be a combination of the two.

Don't live like that. Treat yourself kindly.

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What reason do you have to be feeling angry, bitter and sad all at the same time?

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Free your thoughts from delusions that have trapped you to stay in your very place.

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Posted (edited)

It doesn't matter what those people are thinking about you, or how they're choosing to act around you. It doesn't matter if they're not responding to you here, or whether they are choosing to respond to someone else (doing the same thing) elsewhere. (That's a reflection of their character and how they choose to treat others.) It doesn't matter if you also consider the things they write to be ironic or deceitful. (Only they know this themselves best. There is no need to 'expose' them.) It doesn't matter if, for any reason, anyone chooses to hold unsupported beliefs towards who they think you may be.

Strive to succeed against this animosity. Do not allow for them to splinter your capabilities. The world is a repository of opportunities and if you let them get to you, the only person you will be hindered by is yourself.

Even if your misery becomes someone else's enjoyment, let them revel in the delight. You have the capacity to find other ways to keep yourself entertained, away from all the fuckery from which you are presented.

Edited by Chuan

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You might feel better after you have some rest. Clearly, the internet is not working in your favour.

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Posted (edited)

You're not a bad person for trying, so long as you are well-intentioned.

People who know you will understand. Those who don't may eventually get it.

Edited by Chuan

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It hurts to have others watch you become a self-loathing and hypercritical individual, especially in the way you treat yourself.

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Life is full of mysteries, ranging from those who shower you with empty-handed praises to those who are cunningly politically-minded.

Many like to be in control; few who demonstrate the required humility necessary to be a leader.

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People can intentionally hurt you, but it really is up to you to decide how you want to respond to it.

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Posted (edited)

Be patient with yourself, and have mercy on others.

Edited by Lee

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Don't mind those who continue to categorise you for their own convenience. Soon enough they will realise that what they are doing is nothing short of pratty.

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Posted (edited)

Don't be surprised by anyone who chooses only to fulfill their needs into achieving vested self-interest.

There's absolutely no point in choosing to remain miserable.

Edited by Lee

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