What to do with a friend that stops talking to you

[Wrisful]

So.. I have this guy friend that I had been talking to for the whole of past year. I helped him with his work and he listened to me rant about stuff, we chatted on a daily basis and had a pretty good relationship all together. Naturally, as time passed, I started developing a crush on him (I'm a guy btw) and we started flirting a little and all... I would send hearts and kisses to him and he would sometimes return them back. Heh. Now, the catch is that I don't think he ever suspected anything much and there's also another rumor of me being with another girl floating around, so I think he played along with me.

 

Things didn't change much until we had a major exam and thats when he stopped talking to me entirely. No goodbye, no closure, nothing. It wasn't until our exams ended (which was a month later) that he suddenly messaged me (yay) about some stuff and promised that we would catch up again soon. But that was the last time I've ever spoken to him... Its been 6 months now and I miss talking to him a lot.. I've seen him sometimes when we go out together with mutual friends but we always avoided contact with each other... 

 

Now, I'm really lost about what to do.. I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on and how to move on.. and I dont have the balls to confront him about it... and so I've decided to turn to the Internet for help! I miss him so much and the times we spent chatting at night about random crap are so precious to me... 

 

And sorry for the incoherent post and the wall of text.. Thanks for all the advice and help! 

[abra]

Send him a message

 

I've met old friends that I hadn't talked to for years. It can be difficult to take the first step since you might fear that it'd be awkward, or perhaps you didn't have the best of relations when you stopped talking, but atleast for me it's always felt natural when catching up with them, even after such a long time.

[Pulcat]

May you two are inlove with each other. And he was like "No i am Straight! i Cannot feel this way". So in order for him to loose that feeling he always avoids you as much as he can

[SAYAKA]

have you tried to start up a conversation with him or does he ignore that?

 

For instance I had a really close friend but because of our universities being far away from each other we didn't talk much. I hated not talking to her so I started up a conversation with her and even though it felt weird we got back into the groove of our friendship and now it's not awkward whenever we go weeks or months without talking

[Gabriel Celeste]

you should just move on

[clsrn92]

Just start up a conversation and try to meet up somewhere.

Me and my friends can go like a year without talking to each other and just jump back into it so I'm pretty sure others can, you just have to make the effort.

[lordKEN]

Just naturally talk to him. If he's obviously not talking to you, then move on. I know that sounds harsh and you want closure and all, but if he is clearly avoiding you, then there's nothing you can do, other than to straight up talk to him and confront him about it. Or, you can try to slowly talk to him again. Start with some small talk, act like nothing happened and slowly become friends again. When I say slowly, I really mean it. Don't make him feel uncomfortable. And then once you feel like you're somewhat close again, then maybe you can start asking why he avoided you that one time

[chickenfan]

People grow apart all the time. If you think this is a friendship worth saving, then why don't you send me a quick email saying hello, you haven't talked in a while and you'd love to catch up with a cup of coffee or something. If he doesn't respond or all words and no action (aka respond to your email but never commit to an actual time to catch up), then you have your answer. 

 

However, may I ask is there any particular reason you added the bit about you having romantic feelings for him? It almost sounds like you think that could potentially be the reason why you two haven't been close. Are you saying he's straight?

[eternal glow]

I pretty much suddenly stopped talking to someone I've been friends with for five years. He did and said asshole-ish things and made me feel betrayed and totally crap. I confronted him about it and I'm telling you, it made me feel a lot better. Though, I still don't justify the things he did/said and so I kind of don't care that he doesn't talk to me anymore. But anyway, I think my situation is different from yours.

 

Honestly, it seems he hasn't really done anything really hurtful/bad so it's difficult to move on I think. But imo, before you decide to 'move on' you need to think carefully about the friendship you guys have. If it's something you really value, I would say it's a good idea to talk about it because you might regret not doing so later. You mightn't have the courage and whatnot but I can assure you that after you do talk about it, you will feel a lot better and be more clear about what you want to do. Try to plan out what you're going to say first so it doesn't come off the wrong way. I recommend to sort our your own feelings first. If you aren't clear what you want to do/say, then it's gonna be hard to talk about it with him. I think you also need to consider the effort both of you put into the friendship. Do you value it too much? Does he not value the friendship enough? It can only work out when there's a balance. If one person gives too much and another takes but doesn't give, it won't work out. So what I'm trying to say is, if it doesn't seem he is putting in enough effort, don't bother. You don't need friends like that. I wish you luck though I'm not really sure if I helped at all...