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[marriage/in-laws] I'M SO TIRED OF MY WIFE'S FANGIRLING


parkyeols

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cr.

tbh the wife is going overboard imo,she should take care of herself

C_witYZU0AAvXv-.jpg
(t/n: picture not included and he is NOT the actor OP is talking about, we just took the picture so you guys can "visualize" it, we picked a popular actor looking through comments of a previous post we wrote today!)

Yesterday, we had a huge fight and I'm writing this post after agreeing to my wife's idea
We've been married for 8 years, we also have 2 kids and we're a couple in our 30's
My wife is a die hard fan of a certain actor (t/n: let's call him A)
I know it's common for girls to have 1 or 2 celebrities they really like,
but she liked that one celebrity ever since she was single all the way to now
She would watch A's dramas and movies and look for articles about him after...You probably think that this is something normal to do right?
But my wife is seriously like those teens sasaengs level
Whenever she leaves work, whether it's weekend or weekdays (T/n: in Korea, you work until Saturday) she would find A's schedule and follow him all the way to airports, press releases and even his shooting scenes areas
Of course, it doesn't only eat up all her time, but also her body
Even though she's sick, she would go follow A around
She obviously participates in the fan cafe's activities until late night or overnight and she also writes articles about A and posts comments all around
She even creates and edits fan videos of him, and she would contribute to his tributes, and I'm not talking about modest amounts of money
There are even members of the fan cafe would recognize my wife's ID right away,
and I'm pretty certain that A himself knows about the existence of my wife to some extent that's how over the top her craze is for him

My wife and I have similar earnings and we're a double income family so I can understand the stress that comes with it and the need to have a hobby to compensate
but this doesn't feel like an energizer, as someone who is married and as a mother, do you think it's even possible to balance house work, looking after the kids, earning money, and fangirling all the time?
Just doing one of those for a living is hard enough, isn't this the reality?
Some people might misunderstand what I just wrote, but the house work that we have to do at home is pretty exhausting and once we get off work, we have to bath the kids and prepare food for them, we have to also clean the house and wash the clothes, I help her doing all of those
But I'm not complaining about those
The question is that we still have to have family time together at the end of the day
My wife is so obsessed with making money that her time spent with the kids have became so small
It's also hard for my wife to have time for herself too
So the more I see my wife fangirl on A, the harder it gets because I feel the division
This is the truth

I can understand that you like a celebrity,
but this should only be a hobby,
I also don't want to marry a girl who only does house chores, this is not what I want
but I think that she should at least be family-oriented
The way she wants to spend her spare time on celebrities she likes
and follow him to the airports or wherever she wants, is seriously getting on my nerves
I would rather spend this time so we can travel somewhere with our family

What do you guys think?
I know that this place has a lot of tension between male and female netizens and I'm worried that I might get sworn at so I tried to convey my opinion with a lot of caution
Let's change perspective, if I was an ajussi in my late 30's who follows female celebrities to their filming spots and concerts as soon as I finish work and I just follow them around and use my money for their tributes and fan-cafe. Or that I write posts about them all the time, will you guys like it?
I thought that she would 100% understand me, but she just denied everything and kept doing her own thing.
The older one is going to school this year and we have to give a lot of attention to her/him.
I'm trying to do my best as a dad of a boy and a girl but I have my limits,
There are times when our kids also need their mom.
And seeing this tears me apart.
This is something she is not willing to do and it'd require 2 or 3 times her body
What should I do, I need your help
I want to get other opinions that is not from my side. My wife has already written her post and she has uploaded it (t/n: we didn't find it :S)

t/n: so the end of the post is just the husband and the wife each writing a "follow-up" the the incident, they said they both read all the comments and the wife acknowledges it, and she'll try her best to fix it
 

post response:
[+731][-40]
original post: here
 
28ë…€ |2018.01.03 11:18 ì‹ ê³ í•˜ê¸° Even as a girl, I pity this husband. .I pity the kids too. . She should be spending time with the kids prettilyㅜㅜ Being a celebrity is a job, they pamper themselves and get conditioned to smile in front of the fans and act kindly in front of everyone. Think about how as an employee, you have no other choice but to act obedient and submissive towards your superior, that's the same logic that applies between celebrities and fans. They treat us well only because we're the reason they get to lay food on the table. Please don't get disillusioned with ulterior motives, I'm single, but from what my mom told me, as kids grow up, you won't be able to gain back the time you were supposed to spend with them. This is exactly your situation right now. Once the kids hit adolescence, they would just spend time among themselves and your wife will not be able to spend time with them, let's not throw away this precious moment 
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  남잠ㅡㅡ |2018.01.03 10:54 ì‹ ê³ í•˜ê¸° I know that teens and single people only have their own body to take care of but if you decide to follow celebrities around, it's your studies that will take the blow. And when you get back to work the next day, of course it'll affect your work. I hope kids out there have a reality check after seeing his wife, please think about your kids. That celebrity will not take care of you after you get a divorce
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  웃겨 |2018.01.03 11:24 ì‹ ê³ í•˜ê¸° To be honest, I don't know who the celebrity is, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel pleasant to have an ajumma with 2 kids fangirling over him... He's probably swearing internally. He probably has a lot of young ladies who are single fangirling over him, why does it have to be an ajumma.... Please just fangirl on your kids instead
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  아휴 |2018.01.03 17:22 ì‹ ê³ í•˜ê¸° 100% one of you will lose it ã…‹ã…‹ You can tell your wife kindly as possible to fangirl lightly, but all I see is a childish ajumma. And that actor too.. He must be thankful to have her.. since she's basically his ATMã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ 
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Where does this wife find the time? That's what impresses me the most. I was responsible for my brothers (and a cousin) and my father's house for a week, and I didn't even have time to get on the internet. Imagine when I have my children, work and my home to take care of?

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Where does this wife find the time? That's what impresses me the most. I was responsible for my brothers (and a cousin) and my father's house for a week, and I did not even have time to get on the internet. Imagine when I have my children, work and my home to take care of?

I guess the wife has different priorities? 

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The husband is right to feel that way. 

 

Maybe he needs to remind her that her favorite actor one day will move on in his life, he'll have his wife and his kids and focus on them- while she's missing out on her family and putting a strain on her husband long term. Plus their kids are small, so she needs to realize that they're only that small once and she does not want to be m.i.a in that aspect of their lives. She'll get older and regret not spending time with her children while their small because when they get older they're going to want their own space and become more distant (as a lot of teenagers do). 

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really? ;;

I'd rather advise you to save your future husband the stress of not getting married to you,please

I was being sarcastic

 

but lowkey i still see myself possibly being a fan of my bias years from now. I probably won't like kpop, maybe stop following exo, but I think I'll always have a place for kai in my heart.

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Honestly I would feel so jealous, it's already not right for her to neglect the family to fangirl but I would feel awful if I was a man whose wife spent all her free time following another man, and when you factor in the kids its pretty sad... Once you have children you accept a responsibility to try and be the best parent you can be so she is really being selfish and insensitive.

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Honestly I would feel so jealous, it's already not right for her to neglect the family to fangirl but I would feel awful if I was a man whose wife spent all her free time following another man, and when you factor in the kids its pretty sad... Once you have children you accept a responsibility to try and be the best parent you can be so she is really being selfish and insensitive.

jealous of?

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Hope she wakes up before the kids grow up. Once they grow up, she will never manage to fix her relationship with them. The time she didn't spend with them will never come back. I feel bad for the husband but I feel really bad for the kids. When you're young, your parents are your whole world, if they're not there, you can grow with a resentment that will be hard to overcome.

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