� pannatic 】 K-Netizens reveal the things they hear the most when they say that they have depression

[Ash-Pikachu]

People's reactions when someone reveals they're suffering from depression

 

I told them I have a depression..

 

'You have to put some effort to win over it.. Everyone's having it tough as well'

'Is there anyone who's not suffering from depression these days?'

'Have some strength! It's because you have a weak mental! Put more effort!'

 

You're telling me to take medicines, go for a walk, run, or work out?

You're telling me not to be alone, and write diaries? Sighs..

 

It's the same thing with you telling me to die.

How will those things help me?

I'm trying so hard, but it just doesn't work out.. That's why it's called 'depression'!

And on top of that..

I even think about things like this..

 

theqoo

 

-Then what do you expect us to react? Say 'Oh, I got it~' when you tell us you're suffering from depression?

 

-When someone is revealed to be suffering from depression, people usually react like 'Ah.. Really..?' and they suddenly don't want to get closer with that person anymore..

 

-The real answer is to go to the hospital to get some treatments for it..

 

-Then what kind of reaction is the most appropriate..?ã… ã… 

 

-What are we supposed to do then? Ignore you..?

 

-I've went through this.. It would've been better if they just react like 'Ah.. I see..', pat on my shoulders, or hold my hands.. It would've made me feel better that way.. After confessing to my friend that I'm depressed and seeing her reaction, I suddenly felt like there's no use to tell her further things about it because she wouldn't care.. And, I just ended up making a huge wall between us..

 

-The truth is.. When you say to someone else that a certain person is suffering from depression, they would say 'Ah really..? But she's laughing and smiling just fine, though?'

 

-It hurts.. Especially hearing those things from people that you trust the most..

 

-Aren't you supposed to take medicines? And isn't working out supposed to be really good for people who have depression?

 

-People with depression will have a hard time to accept your words no matter how careful you are before you say it..  Because depression is not something that can be cured with comforting words..

 

-Is it our fault that we're not suffering from depression? Why is this so hard.. I don't know what are we supposed to react..

 

-For me, I've heard 'You don't look like you're suffering from depression at all..' the mostã…Žã…Ž

 

-That's why I've never told anyone about my depression..ã…Žã…Ž Seeing from the comments, seems like people like me are such a burden to the society.. I think I should just shut my mouth from now on..

 

-I've heard that from my siblings.. That hurts so much, it's the biggest scar I have in my heart.. I mean, it took me a lot of courage to confess it.. So that's why I don't even talk about it now..

 

-I don't mean to be mean or anything but, how are we supposed to react then?

 

[warukatta]

seeing the comments makes me realize that mental health education should really be given importance and pushed there...

edit: well, everywhere tbh, especially here in asia imo

[bluesclues]

Just listen.

 

Listen to their story, why they feel the way they do (even when they don't know why), and comfort.

 

You'd be surprised how encouraging it is just to know that someone is willing to hear out some of your darkest thoughts.

[Honeystan]

 

-That's why I've never told anyone about my depression..ã…Žã…Ž Seeing from the comments, seems like people like me are such a burden to the society.. I think I should just shut my mouth from now on..

 

-I've heard that from my siblings.. That hurts so much, it's the biggest scar I have in my heart.. I mean, it took me a lot of courage to confess it.. So that's why I don't even talk about it now..

 

It's hard for people to know what to say in response to you having depression, especially if they have no way of wrapping their minds around the emotions, thoughts, and lack of energy that comes along with it, but a response that trivializes or makes them feel like they shouldn't feel that way makes it harder for them to talk about it in the future. If you don't know what to say, touching their hand or asking if there is any way you can help or find someone who can help for them or with them is slightly better, but just know that their depression may make it hard for them to accept any response since it's hard to feel like someone else truly understands or cares. 

[hella]

Just be supportive damn it’s not that complicated

[evermore]

I don't get why it seems impossible for them to show some form of empathy. Is it really that hard to sit down and listen to the concerns of someone? To give advice and support them, make them feel like they are not alone with their problems? I genuinely don't understand..maybe its a cultural difference? 

[Gaudy]

seeing the comments makes me realize that mental health education should really be given importance and pushed there...

[Nsfw]

-That's why I've never told anyone about my depression..ã…Žã…Ž Seeing from the comments, seems like people like me are such a burden to the society.. I think I should just shut my mouth from now on..

 

i wish i could hug this person

[B612]

Honestly, sometimes I think no matter what people tell me there's no right thing to say when someone is depressed...

 

BUT 

 

There's WRONG things you shouldn't say, specially "get over it", whenever someone tells me that I want to die so badly to never feel like that again, it's the phrase I hate the most because it makes me feel guilty for not being able to truly get over it.

So if you don't know what to say, just listen. 

[Saint Rose]

Although the comments are a mess, i'm glad that Jonghyun's unfortunate passing has at-least started the topic of mental health/depression. Sad that it took a tragic incident for it to happen, and it's obvious Korea has a long way to go in terms of dealing with mental health

[HugeBoi Minos Wife]

This is why the stigma is so big there, some of the replies are just sigh...

 

Just listen to them, be someone willing to listen to what they have to say. People who are suffering appreciate those who take the time to listen to their story without judging them, telling them how hard everyone else is having it (the worst you could say in that situation). I also disagree comforting words are useless, that's the most important part after listening imo: tell them they're amazing and loved, tell them its gonna be alright, it's not their fault and you will be here to support them. Is it that hard of a thing to do?

[Thay]

The comments just show how ignorant people still are about depression in Korea.

 

"shouldn't you just take medicine", "shouldn't you just go to the hospital"... Pills cannot fix everything.

 

"What are we supposed to say" < work a little more on that empathy. Even if you are not depressed yourself, just accept the other person's words and don't try to discuss anything. Be a shoulder they can cry on, just be there for them. It's honestly not quantic physics, and it's a shame there are no awareness about it in SK from the looks of it... Specially considering the suicide rates...

[Thigh-high feminist]

Someone has to find a way to make empathy TREND over there.

[satzurised]

 

seeing the comments makes me realize that mental health education should really be given importance and pushed there...

 

[jello-kitty88]

 

-For me, I've heard 'You don't look like you're suffering from depression at all..' the mostã…Žã…Ž

 

-That's why I've never told anyone about my depression..ã…Žã…Ž Seeing from the comments, seems like people like me are such a burden to the society.. I think I should just shut my mouth from now on..

 

 

This is how I feelㅠㅠ When I try to talk to friends and family they just don't get it and make me feel like i'm not trying and I am... I'm trying my bestㅠㅠ But my best isn't their level of bestㅠㅠ I've been told I don't look depressed tooㅠㅠ I've become quieter over the years because I'm tired of hearing such things from people I look to for supportㅜㅜ I end up having to try and comfort myselfㅜㅜ I even feel like I shouldn't be saying those wordsㅠㅠ

[caffe]

While reading the story, I was stupid enough to start expecting for sympathy from knetizens.. When will I ever learn..? even better, when will or South-Korea?

[shefangirls]

When I had depression I wouldn't have minded to hear that a lot of people have it and to hear some practical remedies besides meds. I used to think I was different in a bad way because everybody seemed happier, that I was the problem... I was told that a lot of people had this problem and then I stopped thinking that it was only I the problematic one and that helped me. The tips my mom and teachers gave me were also ver encouraging.

 

I did not think these bothered people, and said those stuff to two friends I know struggling with depression when they first told me. I think I am gonna begin saying other stuff.

[DemonicPotato]

To be fair, it's really hard to understand that stuff when you haven't experienced it (especially when there is no obvious cause for depression), and know how to react to someone expressing something so far-reaching. I mean, I've had my father (a considerate, loving, helpful, empathetic person) tell me that I was creating my own issues and he didn't understand why -and I wasn't not even hurt by that, because it's so obvious that we're not talking about the same things.

 

In some ways, I think internet communities can help a lot (easier to speak bout tough shit through written messages). Emotions are hard, guys. 

[Primazaza]

There's no word to say. When I told my mother 12 years ago I was deprimed she hurried to make me meet psychiatrists. When I told her psychiatrists made me feels worse and that I don't want to see one again she made me meet another one and another one until I've almost commited suicide. Then she asked me what she can must do if I don't want to see a doctor, it took 9 years for her to finally ask me what I needed, and I just needed her to listen to me when I needed to talk...

[Rory]

Some of the comments are appalling. Have they lost any sense of empathy. What's so hard about telling someone "I'm sorry you're having a hard time", "Do you want to talk about" etc. Giving them a hug, holding their hand, recommending they get some professional help.

[ideonsshi]

seeing the comments makes me realize that mental health education should really be given importance and pushed there...

edit: well, everywhere tbh, especially here in asia imo

My country doesn't even have a working suicide hotline yet tbh 

[dragonfly0915]

The reaction should be: "what can I do to help". Literally that simple.

[Lizzo]

seeing the comments makes me realize that mental health education should really be given importance and pushed there...

edit: well, everywhere tbh, especially here in asia imo

[Potassium]

The 'tell me more how you feel' plus listening scenario were proven to alleviate some burden. But the most powerful way to combat misinformation is to spread mental health awareness. Social stigma wouldn't be wash away comfortably like some dirt especially when people have no idea what is the absolute deal about depression and the accompanying threats to oneself and society.

[baozilover]

The thing is we have to educate ourselves about depression and mental health. The most difficult thing is to achieve empathy with these feelings and people who are suffering, but even that can be learned.