I didn’t expect his death to hit me this hard

[WestWorld]

I can’t stop crying. I couldn’t even sleep that well last night. These days I have been thinking about suicide. A few months ago,I tried to kill myself. Because I am such a useless and worthless person, I have no friends at school no one who would care if I killed my self anyways. When I heard about Jonghyun, everything I tried to hold back just broke down. Because I know how much pain he must have been in to do something like that. I can relate well and I know there are many people on here who can relate as well. Is it silly for me to feel this way? He was someone I didn’t even know in person but I was able to connect with him and his music so well. Hearing about him...my heart can’t stop hurting. What should I do? It hurts too much

[al qaeda]

You’re not useless or worthless - please don’t think that. You’re beautiful and you’re loved - you might think you’re not but you are. Don’t think that if you killed yourself, no one would care. People would! We all would! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have friends at school - we’ll be your friends for you. I’m sure you can still make some friends! Friendship doesn’t come easy, it takes time. I’m sure you can find someone who’s relatable (has the same hobbies and taste as you do) and become friends. And it’s not silly of you at all. Most of us can relate. All of our hearts ache for him - he was a beautiful person and he deserved so much more <3 I think you should talk to someone - maybe seek professional help. You can also talk to any of us if you like, we’re all here to help! There are some professionals on this forum that you can also speak too.

[katt]

I know it hurts a lot right now but you're young and you've got so much to live for so don't give up on yourself!

Who knows what amazing things your future holds? I am 100% sure it's definitely worth sticking around to find out

You may feel as though no one cares but trust me people do care about you, love you and would sorely miss you

[livinglifeonpause]

   i'm sorry you feel that way.  it's perfectly okay to feel sad, mad, hurt (whatever) in regards to Jonghyun.  Losing him was a shock and i think alot of us don't know how to feel.  But feeling all kinds of feelings - even hopeless and worthless - is okay.  As long as you acknowledge that they are JUST feelings, not truth.  Feelings change. They come and go, they intensify and fade.  But you're entitled to them.  Just be careful to not let them overwhelm you and consume your rational thoughts.  

 

Also, I want you to look up the # to your countries suicide hotline and save it in your phone (or write it on a piece of paper, bookmark it on the computer...) and I want you to promise... to yourself, to your family friends, to Jonghyun, to me & the OH community, whoever... that if you're ever feeling suicidal again, that you'll call. I don't know you, but i want you to do this.