What would you do if you were or knew someone in an abuse relatioship?

[Symphonyâ„¢]

What would you do?

 

 

I am not getting abused.

[gayjibae]

are you in one bby? do you need our help?

 

i'd talk with the person

make them understand that they can leave and that the relationship is not alright 

[Candyboojae]

Report the abuser to the police. 

[Gabriel Celeste]

I wouldnt be in one so if i knew somebody who is well i dont really meddle with others affair unless they ask me for help

[ancor288]

I actually got involved and called the police. I don't care how much you say you love someone, but if that person is hurting you, they don't love you. Some of my girl-friends are so desperate for a man, that they end up settling for the wrong dude. 

[fgt]

depends on the type of abuse

 

there are multiple choices

- talk to them

- murder the abuser

- report it to the police

- hook your friend up w/ helplines and experts

[Symphonyâ„¢]

What if it's those it's none of your business type people...

[ancor288]

What if it's those it's none of your business type people...

Do you mean like, friends or family who tell you to mind your own? If so, all you can do is say to them that you are there for them, but still try to see if maybe you can talk to someone else who might have more of an influence on them. At least you tried, no? 

[fgt]

What if it's those it's none of your business type people...

 

hit em' with a brick

 

or call the police

 

your friend may hate you at first, but later on in life they'll be grateful for your input

or they may hate you more as these things can worsen conditions and relationships

 

tricky situation if they don't wish to acknowledge things

[Skibop!!]

Get hit the first time, I'm leaving, fuck that shit

If it's someone I knew, I'd try talking to them and understand then pray for them and try to convince them to leave the relationship

[Yume]

leave

[vampiress]

i know someone who's mentally abused by her husband. 

 

her husband is so pressed and selfish (from outside point of view - we all know that) he never available for our office gathering - he never want to spare some time for his wife and let his wife went to those gathering alone or with their children. 

 

BUT he always demand his wife to be available when he want to go somewhere, even told his wife to cancel any appointment if she had any. Also going home at 1 AM then wake up his wife to eat and talk. like wtf?

 

We all have told her to talk it through with his husband but she said it's OK, so we let her be. 

It wasn't really our business to meddle.  

[Bambi]

I don't really know what I would do if I was in an abuse relationship. Some people are so blinded by "love" that they sometimes don't even realize that their partner is hurting them, be it mentally or physically. 

 

If one of my friends was in such a relationship, I'd try to support them as much as I can by being there for them and I would help them to leave their partner. Leaving someone you love, despite him abusing you, often takes a very long time and it needs to be done step by step. You can't force someone to leave the one they "love" as it needs to be done on their own initiative. 

 

Calling the police isn't as effective as people think. They want evidence and it is hard to provide evidence if the abusing partner hurt the victim emotionally/psychologically. In the case of physical damage, most abusive people manage to get themselves out of the tricky situation by claiming that they were "drunk" and not in their normal state. 

 

In conclusion, you can't do much beside being there for your friend/member of your family and help them to become independent (if they depend on their partner for instance) and always listen to them. A lot of patience is always needed, but it can save a person. 

[denizen mars]

be there for them. if they come to you with a decision ('Should I leave them?' 'Should I do this thing my partner is asking me to do?'), do your best to convince them to do the right thing. Provide a safe space for them to come to if they need to leave the relationship quickly and are afraid the partner will come after them.

[Ringo]

I don't really know what I would do if I was in an abuse relationship. Some people are so blinded by "love" that they sometimes don't even realize that their partner is hurting them, be it mentally or physically. 

 

If one of my friends was in such a relationship, I'd try to support them as much as I can by being there for them and I would help them to leave their partner. Leaving someone you love, despite him abusing you, often takes a very long time and it needs to be done step by step. You can't force someone to leave the one they "love" as it needs to be done on their own initiative. 

 

Calling the police isn't as effective as people think. They want evidence and it is hard to provide evidence if the abusing partner hurt the victim emotionally/psychologically. In the case of physical damage, most abusive people manage to get themselves out of the tricky situation by claiming that they were "drunk" and not in their normal state. 

 

In conclusion, you can't do much beside being there for your friend/member of your family and help them to become independent (if they depend on their partner for instance) and always listen to them. A lot of patience is always needed, but it can save a person.

Isn't that the truth? The one who resists help most is the victim themselves.

 

[Psy]

What if it's those it's none of your business type people...

It doesn't need to be your business to report the abuse to the police.

 

Abuse is unacceptable - no discussion required.

The more you remain quiet, the more you allow the abuser to get more violent, and if the scene involves a vulnerable person, just fuckin do the damn right thing. My blood boils whenever I read reports of disadvantaged individuals found dead due to regular beatings from their own Parents. It sickens me how people can remain quiet and do nothing until it is too late.

 

 

 

I don't really know what I would do if I was in an abuse relationship. Some people are so blinded by "love" that they sometimes don't even realize that their partner is hurting them, be it mentally or physically.

The truth is they do realize the pain, but are making excuses to remain patient hoping for the right change to suddenly happen. They tend to fall in to mindset where they blame themselves for what is being inflicted onto them. Excuses is what makes them hang on. The loving relationship quickly becomes a love/hate relationship. The love will always be there as long as the other person cares, and abuse has the emotional control over other so it is never easy to just walk away.

 

 

Calling the police isn't as effective as people think. They want evidence and it is hard to provide evidence if the abusing partner hurt the victim emotionally/psychologically. In the case of physical damage, most abusive people manage to get themselves out of the tricky situation by claiming that they were "drunk" and not in their normal state.

The Police do not require hard evidence to charge a person with abuse. Plus, there's a clear line where the drunk excuse is no longer acceptable. Obviously, the nature and severity of the abuse is a huge factor to take into account. They aren't as useless as people like to think, though it does help a great deal to have the violence recorded for evidence.

 

What if it's those it's none of your business type people...

It doesn't need to be your business to report the abuse to the police.

 

Abuse is unacceptable - no discussion required.

The more you remain quiet, the more you allow the abuser to get more violent, and if the scene involves a vulnerable person, just fuckin do the damn right thing. My blood boils whenever I read reports of disadvantaged individuals found dead due to regular beatings from their own Parents. It sickens me how people can remain quiet and do nothing until it is too late.

 

 

 

I don't really know what I would do if I was in an abuse relationship. Some people are so blinded by "love" that they sometimes don't even realize that their partner is hurting them, be it mentally or physically.

The truth is they do realize the pain, but are making excuses to remain patient hoping for the right change to suddenly happen. They tend to fall in to mindset where they blame themselves for what is being inflicted onto them. Excuses is what makes them hang on. The loving relationship quickly becomes a love/hate relationship. The love will always be there as long as the other person cares, and abuse has the emotional control over other so it is never easy to just walk away.

 

 

Calling the police isn't as effective as people think. They want evidence and it is hard to provide evidence if the abusing partner hurt the victim emotionally/psychologically. In the case of physical damage, most abusive people manage to get themselves out of the tricky situation by claiming that they were "drunk" and not in their normal state.

The Police do not require hard evidence to charge a person with abuse. Plus, there's a clear line where the drunk excuse is no longer acceptable. Obviously, the nature and severity of the abuse is a huge factor to take into account. They aren't as useless as people like to think, though it does help a great deal to have the violence recorded for evidence.

[Bambi]

Isn't that the truth? The one who resists help most is the victim themselves.

 

This isn't what I said. Victims often simply don't see why help would be needed in the first place as they still hope their partner is going to change etc. It does not mean 'to reject help'. But every case is different and depends on the person's personality, and I shouldn't have generalized in the beginning. 

[Ringo]

This isn't what I said. Victims often simply don't see why help would be needed in the first place as they still hope their partner is going to change etc. It does not mean 'to reject help'. But every case is different and depends on the person's personality, and I shouldn't have generalized in the beginning.

I got that, and I was agreeing. I guess I should have been more specific. They do resist listening to anyone who says "this isn't normal," and often either think "I can change them, they just need x, etc," are afraid, believe what their partner says, and so on. A lot of times they can't objectively see how badly they are treated, they end up thinking they deserve it, there's nothing better, it must have been my fault, etc. Even if they somehow get away, they end up getting stalked or harassed, told "I can change" and, if the victim agrees, they abuser can even act on their best behavior for a while until they believe their victim is sufficiently in their control again, then revert back to their true selves. It's a real tragedy.

[denalichen]

Isn't that the truth? The one who resists help most is the victim themselves.

 

 

I agree.  It's difficult to be the friend of someone in an abusive relationship because they will do their best to hide it from everyone, especially their close friends.  They will not take relationship advice, either, because they are committed to make the relationship work. 

 

There are a lot of psychological things that keep the abused person tied to the abuser.  You want to be a good friend to them, you can see how terrible it is for your friend, but you are helpless.  It is frustrating that they won't do anything to improve their situation and you can't make choices for this person, they have to decide to change. 

 

I think the only thing to do is talk to her/him about it.  Let them know you aren't stupid and you see what's going on.  Be encouraging because this is highly sensitive to them - they are embarrassed for anyone to know the depth of their problem.  And be there for them when the shit hits the fan and try not to judge them.

[Gloupsidou]

Gather evidence then report to the police

[Prosperity]

Ask them questions, get to know their situation.

 

If they need your help they would ask for your help. If they don't want your help, you have a choice to step back and let shit happen or go YOLO! and do something about it :D

[asd2]

I'd leave her.