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OneHallyu

I honestly hate myself


GirlBye

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im sick all the time and am always having to deal with some health issue that puts a burden on my parents


 


for the past year my memory keeps getting worse and worse 


 


i work so hard in school but for what? i haven't been able to gain any work experience during college due to my health issues so no one will hire me after i grad so all the money my parents spent will go to waste


 


whenever i think it's finally getting better and i feel happy something has to happen that destroys it


 


i just want it all to end tbh


 


i don't like talking about my feelings to my family and friends since i don't want to burden them hence why im making this post since no one on here knows me irl


 


i read it helps expressing what ur feeling one way or another hence this post


 


i just want to be healthy and happy and to be able to accomplish my goals...


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It might be hard to talk to the people in your life, but if you think about it they are meant to help you. I had to learn that I wouldn't burden my loved ones by telling them my problems, if anything they were worried and told me they would've preferred I told them earlier. I don't know how much people on oh can really help professionally with your health issues, what has your doctor suggested to you?

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op have you tried talking to a therapist? it sounds like you have some pretty heavy depression you're dealing with. i honestly know how you feel (i'm partially hospitalized for depression right now) but you have to understand that depression has a way of twisting thoughts and making you believe things that aren't reality. things may not be as bleak as your depression is making it seem. i know you can pull through this, the human will is one of the strongest things in the world. it would probably be very helpful for you to see someone and maybe try an antidepressant. 

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im sick all the time and am always having to deal with some health issue that puts a burden on my parents

 

for the past year my memory keeps getting worse and worse 

 

i work so hard in school but for what? i haven't been able to gain any work experience during college due to my health issues so no one will hire me after i grad so all the money my parents spent will go to waste

 

whenever i think it's finally getting better and i feel happy something has to happen that destroys it

 

i just want it all to end tbh

 

i don't like talking about my feelings to my family and friends since i don't want to burden them hence why im making this post since no one on here knows me irl

 

i read it helps expressing what ur feeling one way or another hence this post

 

i just want to be healthy and happy and to be able to accomplish my goals...

 

Maybe focus on living and not surviving; enjoy the things nature offers you, trust me life is complicated for all, read maybe can help you; you definetely should share this ideas of yours with someone irl, it's burden you, I think is important you share them

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Aw I hope your health continues to improve!

 

There is nothing you can do about it so don't blame yourself and beat yourself up about it.

For now, just try to do your best in school. I hope everything works out for you <3

 

Have you tried applying for internships related to your field of study? Is it that you aren't getting opportunities because of your health problems?

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Aw I hope your health continues to improve!

 

There is nothing you can do about it so don't blame yourself and beat yourself up about it.

For now, just try to do your best in school. I hope everything works out for you <3

 

Have you tried applying for internships related to your field of study? Is it that you aren't getting opportunities because of your health problems?

i can barely handle going to school with my health, i don't know how i would handle work on top of it

 

it's gotten to the point were i feel like i can't breathe and want to kill myself

 

op have you tried talking to a therapist? it sounds like you have some pretty heavy depression you're dealing with. i honestly know how you feel (i'm partially hospitalized for depression right now) but you have to understand that depression has a way of twisting thoughts and making you believe things that aren't reality. things may not be as bleak as your depression is making it seem. i know you can pull through this, the human will is one of the strongest things in the world. it would probably be very helpful for you to see someone and maybe try an antidepressant. 

i've thought about going to a therapist but my parents would then know 

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i can barely handle going to school with my health, i don't know how i would handle work on top of it

 

it's gotten to the point were i feel like i can't breathe and want to kill myself

 

i've thought about going to a therapist but my parents would then know 

does your school have any mental health resources? my school let me do five visits free with their on campus therapists without my parents knowing, maybe yours has something similar? or if you have a women's center on campus, they typically have a therapist able to meet with people for free for circumstances like yours. i know it's hard, but it can really help, and you don't deserve to feel like you're feeling right now. 

 

even calling a hotline can help! i don't know what country you're in, but i've called the us national suicide hotline and it's helped me. like you said in your post, just talking about it can make you feel better and they're trained therapists there to help you anonymously. 

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does your school have any mental health resources? my school let me do five visits free with their on campus therapists without my parents knowing, maybe yours has something similar? or if you have a women's center on campus, they typically have a therapist able to meet with people for free for circumstances like yours. i know it's hard, but it can really help, and you don't deserve to feel like you're feeling right now. 

 

even calling a hotline can help! i don't know what country you're in, but i've called the us national suicide hotline and it's helped me. like you said in your post, just talking about it can make you feel better and they're trained therapists there to help you anonymously. 

ill look into my school's mental health resources thank you

 

ive tried calling the suicide hotline but i always hang up before i get connected...idk why im so scared to talk to someone irl...

 

even after posting this thread i broke out in a cold sweat im scared since i don't want to kill myself but a part of me feels like that's the best solution 

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ill look into my school's mental health resources thank you

 

ive tried calling the suicide hotline but i always hang up before i get connected...idk why im so scared to talk to someone irl...

 

even after posting this thread i broke out in a cold sweat im scared since i don't want to kill myself but a part of me feels like that's the best solution 

it's really scary, i know i was shaking the first time i called. someone answers and they ask what's going on, if you're in danger and everything, and then just help you talk things out. it feels like a huge step to take but i promise even talking to someone briefly about it will make you feel so much better. they usually connect you to a local hotline, and they might even be able to help you out with some resources. 

 

killing yourself is never the best solution. i promise you can pull through this and you will be so thankful that you didn't hurt yourself. i know it's hard but you just have to keep moving forward. 

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it's really scary, i know i was shaking the first time i called. someone answers and they ask what's going on, if you're in danger and everything, and then just help you talk things out. it feels like a huge step to take but i promise even talking to someone briefly about it will make you feel so much better. they usually connect you to a local hotline, and they might even be able to help you out with some resources. 

 

killing yourself is never the best solution. i promise you can pull through this and you will be so thankful that you didn't hurt yourself. i know it's hard but you just have to keep moving forward. 

thank you so much

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just promise you won’t hurt yourself tonight. if you ever need anything i’m here for you.

im in a much better state now 

 

my school does have a therapist so im going to try to make an appointment with them

 

your words helped me calm down so thank you for that, hope you don't mind if i pm you in the future 

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im in a much better state now 

 

my school does have a therapist so im going to try to make an appointment with them

 

your words helped me calm down so thank you for that, hope you don't mind if i pm you in the future

 

i’m really glad to hear that. and of course, i’m here whenever you need me!

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