WestWorld 1,213 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 All of my life, I’ve lacked confidence. Getting bullied in school led me to have a super low self esteem. I was always the yes woman. I didn’t know how to say no to others so I just did everything people wanted. If others hurt me, I would just tell them I’m okay and keep treating them nicely even if they kept hurting me again and again and again to the point I wanted to die. Still, I would just smile and say I’m okay. I cut off my relationship with my best friend. This person I thought I would grow old with and have her as my maid of honor, this person I shared everything with, this person I loved as much as I loved my family, I ended it all knowing I would end up alone at school. She was my only friend in university but I ended our relationship. I did my best to be a good friend to her and was there during her hardest so I have no regrets. But this person stopped putting in efforts in our friendship once she got a new boyfriend and new friends. She stopped texting me for 2 months, even when I tried to commit suicide, she couldn’t bother checking up on me. A relationship is a two way street; both people have to make an effort to give and take. And I’m tired of always giving. And I’m tired of being disappointed by her. She made no effort to change her behavior and it showed me her true mind. That I did not matter to her much. That’s when I realize that I needed to surround myself with people who can love me the same way I love them. I need to be with people who wants to be my friend, who can spare some time in the 24 hours that they have. Someone who can also give and receive. Cutting off this relationship hurt me so bad but I also feel a bit relieved. I also dumped my ex who cheated on me three times. I couldn’t leave him the first two times because i thought he would change, because he gave me the self confidence I desperately needed, because his sweet lies gave me a false sense of happiness. But I don’t want false happiness anymore. And I am so sick and tired of getting hurt over and over again. So I will learn how to love myself fully. Right now my self confidence is still shitty but this is the first time in my life that I’m proud of myself. This is the first time in my life I’m glad I was born. This is the first time in my life, I’m taking a step to my own happiness and not someone else. Thank you for reading my personal thoughts. I wanted to share this with OH..well because you guys are my only friends hahaha. I was scared of loneliness but I will deal with it little by little. I’ll be okay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
U R Messy AF 7,087 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 It was very courageous of you to post this here. Thank you for trusting us enough to share your thoughts with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JihyoStoleMyHeartAYAYAY 22,189 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 It was very courageous of you to post this here. Thank you for trusting us enough to share your thoughts with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soft 4,386 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 Congrats OP! You are slowly but surely getting close to find happiness, take your time! Im also having similar problems but im slowly overcoming them and i could never feel happier! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deea 6,754 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 You're very brave! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ideonsshi 936 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 I'm glad that you're brave to take care of yourself. Keep it going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray Wednesday 1,822 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 Everything you shared here is very inspiring. It's not easy to realize who are the people that are toxic in your life and it's even tougher to cut ties with them, but you have to put yourself first sometimes. You're doing amazing, keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choi 211 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 I can feel a lot of what you're going through. I recently dropped my toxic group of friends in college, and am slowly building my network despite feeling small and alone. You're brave, keep it going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cake mf 1,737 Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 Been there, done that man. It’s all about letting go of how others say you should act and doing whatever tf you want. It’s so amazing, after a hard day to look in the mirror and go “it’s okay, because I love myselfâ€. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yerim. 609 Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 You're very brave OP! I hope you keep doing you~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zroi 87 Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 I'm happy for you OP! You're already a step ahead a lot of people. There's nothing more valuable than your self respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazed 425 Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 You will be better than okay.Your future is brighter than your past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pleasure 2,956 Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 I'm happy for you OP! You're already a step ahead a lot of people. There's nothing more valuable than your self respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherrimotion 822 Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 Congrats! Keep on loving yourself, you're doing amazingly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nowhere Boy 2,431 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 That’s awesome man. I’ve gotten better at it lately as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloEarth 37 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Yaaaaas gurl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redlovespucca 75 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 It was very courageous of you to post this here. Thank you for trusting us enough to share your thoughts with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstarnet 1,502 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Congratulation, you're taking the first step. I hope you can find someone that will appreciate you just the way you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insane 728 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 I relate so much to your story. It takes guts to cut a toxic relationship, let alone 2. I'm glad you were able to do it. Take what you learned for better relatioships in the future. You also have to be really strong to raise your self-esteem. I was also bullied as a kid and had no confidence at all in myself in anything. Struggled a lot but ended up building more confidence. It is a fight everyday and there's better and worst days, you gotta learn and use that to become a better and stronger person. I hope you get more self esteem and make better friends, people you deserve in your life. Keep in mind toxic people will keep appear in your life, take your past to not allow the same happen again. It feels really good to cut toxic relationships of your life, you end up feeling better about yourself, they can drag you really down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shooter 1,172 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 This is very inspiring. I hope things only go up from here, OP. I can definitely learn a thing or two from you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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