Does anyone here speak Mandarin? Could you check this passage for me?

[maidoan97]

I have to write 400 words to introduce my friend in Mandarin as an assignment. I would be really grateful if you could check this passage that I wrote. I’m sorry if it’s too repetitive, since I needed to reach 400 words while not having learned lots of vocabulary.

 

æˆ‘çš„æœ‹å‹ ä»‹ç»ä¸€ä¸‹å„¿ã€‚她的åå­— 是 洪姫月。她是韩国人。她ä¸æ˜¯ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿã€‚她会说日语和韩语。她和我是高中的åŒå­¦ã€‚她和我常一起回家了。认识她我很高兴。她是åä¹å²ã€‚她的生日 是一月二å三å·ã€‚她ä½åœ¨ä¸œäº¬ 市新宿区西早稲田路五å·æ¥¼ä¸‰å±‚三一三房间。她说，她家有四å£äººï¼Œçˆ¸çˆ¸ï¼Œå¦ˆå¦ˆï¼Œå¼Ÿå¼Ÿå’Œå¥¹ã€‚她 爸爸在银行工作。他很忙。她妈妈ä¸å·¥ä½œã€‚她弟弟是学生。他们身体都很好。姫月 ä¸æ˜¯ 早稻田大学的学生。她在 立教大学 学习。她 学习 英语。她没有爱人。星期六 她和我一起常去看电影和去打ä¿é¾„çƒã€‚我们常美国和韩国的电影。我常å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ã€‚她ä¸å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¸¸å¬æ—¥æœ¬çš„音ä¹ã€‚她和我ä¸ä¸€èµ·åŽ»å¬éŸ³ä¹ã€‚星期天 她和我都 早上 ç¡è§‰ã€‚我ä½ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿçš„宿èˆï¼Œå¥¹ä¸åŽ»å®¿èˆã€‚我常å二点起床，åƒé¥­ï¼ŒåŽ»å¥¹å®¶çŽ©å„¿ã€‚我们常在她家一起看电脑和学习。她家离宿èˆä¸è¿‘，很远。我去他家往å汽车。星期二 她和我都ä¸åŽ»å­¦æ ¡ã€‚我们常一起去看电影和去百货大楼买东西。

 

Could you tell me if I did not put the space in the correct place? You could also ask me if some sentences make no sense. Once again, thank you so much in advance!!

[�人肺腑]

It's very messy & most of it makes no sense also you should end your paragraph properly

 

Do you mind if I correct it for you?

 

我真的很想帮你改ï¼

[OppaiLoli]

我想介ç»æˆ‘的朋å‹ï¼Œå¥¹çš„å字是洪姫月。她是韩国人，但她ä¸æ˜¯ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿã€‚她会说日语和韩语。她是我的高中åŒå­¦ï¼Œå¥¹å’Œæˆ‘常一起回家。我很高兴能认识到她。她的年龄是åä¹å²ã€‚她的生日是在一月二å三日。她ä½åœ¨ä¸œäº¬ 市新宿区西早稲田路五å·æ¥¼ä¸‰å±‚三一三房间。她说她的家庭由四å£äººç»„æˆï¼Œé‚£å°±æ˜¯çˆ¸çˆ¸ï¼Œå¦ˆå¦ˆï¼Œå¼Ÿå¼Ÿå’Œå¥¹ã€‚她爸爸在银行工作。他很忙。她妈妈没工作。她的弟弟是学生。他们身体都很好。姫月 ä¸æ˜¯ 早稻田大学的学生。她在 立教大学 学习。她学习英语。她没有情人。星期六，她和我常一起去看电影和去打ä¿é¾„çƒã€‚我们常观看美国和韩国的电影。我常å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¥¹ä¸å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¸¸å¬æ—¥æœ¬çš„音ä¹ã€‚她和我欣èµä¸ä¸€æ ·çš„音ä¹ã€‚星期天 她和我都 早上 ç¡è§‰ã€‚我ä½åœ¨å­¦æ ¡çš„宿èˆï¼Œå¥¹ä¸åŽ»å®¿èˆã€‚我常å二点起床，åƒé¥­ï¼ŒåŽ»å¥¹å®¶çŽ©ã€‚我们常在她家一起看电脑和学习。她家离宿èˆä¸è¿‘，很远。我去他家往å汽车。星期二 她和我都ä¸åŽ»å­¦æ ¡ã€‚我们常一起去看电影和去百货大楼买东西。

 

I fixed some but my chinese kinda rusty, overall is super messy and no coherence at all bolded parts especially, is there any english original text?And there is way too much unecessary spaces and too much full stops, some line can be string together with commas.Besides, is the address supremely necessary(if its real) and she is not dating??

[epos]

As above, looks like google translate to me.

 

The 1st sentence is totally wrong, something like 洪姫月是我的好朋å‹or just朋å‹ï¼Œ

我们是高中åŒå­¦ï¼Œ

我很高兴能认识她

她妈妈是家庭主妇--housewife

她目å‰å•èº«

etc...

[maidoan97]

我想介ç»æˆ‘的朋å‹ï¼Œå¥¹çš„å字是洪姫月。她是韩国人，但她ä¸æ˜¯ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿã€‚她会说日语和韩语。她是我的高中åŒå­¦ï¼Œå¥¹å’Œæˆ‘常一起回家。我很高兴能认识到她。她的年龄是åä¹å²ã€‚她的生日是在一月二å三日。她ä½åœ¨ä¸œäº¬ 市新宿区西早稲田路五å·æ¥¼ä¸‰å±‚三一三房间。她说她的家庭由四å£äººç»„æˆï¼Œé‚£å°±æ˜¯çˆ¸çˆ¸ï¼Œå¦ˆå¦ˆï¼Œå¼Ÿå¼Ÿå’Œå¥¹ã€‚她爸爸在银行工作。他很忙。她妈妈没工作。她的弟弟是学生。他们身体都很好。姫月 ä¸æ˜¯ 早稻田大学的学生。她在 立教大学 学习。她学习英语。她没有情人。星期六，她和我常一起去看电影和去打ä¿é¾„çƒã€‚我们常观看美国和韩国的电影。我常å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¥¹ä¸å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¸¸å¬æ—¥æœ¬çš„音ä¹ã€‚她和我欣èµä¸ä¸€æ ·çš„音ä¹ã€‚星期天 她和我都 早上 ç¡è§‰ã€‚我ä½åœ¨å­¦æ ¡çš„宿èˆï¼Œå¥¹ä¸åŽ»å®¿èˆã€‚我常å二点起床，åƒé¥­ï¼ŒåŽ»å¥¹å®¶çŽ©ã€‚我们常在她家一起看电脑和学习。她家离宿èˆä¸è¿‘，很远。我去他家往å汽车。星期二 她和我都ä¸åŽ»å­¦æ ¡ã€‚我们常一起去看电影和去百货大楼买东西。

 

I fixed some but my chinese kinda rusty, overall is super messy and no coherence at all bolded parts especially, is there any english original text?And there is way too much unecessary spaces and too much full stops, some line can be string together with commas.

What I wanted to say is:

 

I will introduce my friend. Her name is _______. She is Korean. She is not an exchange student. She speaks Japanese and Korean. We were classmates in high school. We often went home together. I’m very happy to know her. She is 19. Her birthday is January 23rd. She lives in ______. She said there are 4 people in her family: her father, her mother, her younger brother, and her. Her father works at a bank. He is very busy. Her mother is not working. Her younger brother is a student. They are all very fine. 姫月 (the friend’s name) is not a Waseda (早稲田大学) student. She majors in English at Rikkyo University (立教大学). She does not have a boyfriend yet. On Saturdays she and I often go to watch a movie then play bowling together.

We often see American and Korean movies. I listen to Korean music. She doesn’t listen to Korean music, she often listens to Japanese music. So we don’t go to listen to music (using this cuz I haven’t learned the word “concert†yet) together. On Sundays we both sleep in the morning. I live in the dorm for exchange students. She doesn’t visit me at the dorm. I often wake up at 12, eat lunch, then go to her house to visit her. We often watch TV then study together at her house. Her house is not near to the dorm, it’s very far. I often go to her house by bus. On Tuesdays, we both don’t have classes. We would go to the movies together then go shopping at the department store.

 

About the address and the not dating part, I added those just because I needed to reach 400 words and couldn’t think of anything else to say, since we haven’t learn much vocabulary in class...

[maidoan97]

It's very messy & most of it makes no sense also you should end your paragraph properly

 

 

Do you mind if I correct it for you?

 

我真的很想帮你改ï¼

I admit, I used Google Translate for like half of them xD I would be very grateful if you could correct it for me!

 

I didn’t know how to end the paragraph...

[OppaiLoli]

What I wanted to say is:

 

I will introduce my friend. Her name is _______. She is Korean. She is not an exchange student. She speaks Japanese and Korean. We were classmates in high school. We often went home together. I’m very happy to know her. She is 19. Her birthday is January 23rd. She lives in ______. She said there are 4 people in her family: her father, her mother, her younger brother, and her. Her father works at a bank. He is very busy. Her mother is not working. Her younger brother is a student. They are all very fine. 姫月 (the friend’s name) is not a Waseda (早稲田大学) student. She majors in English at Rikkyo University (立教大学). She does not have a boyfriend yet. On Saturdays she and I often go to watch a movie then play bowling together.

We often see American and Korean movies. I listen to Korean music. She doesn’t listen to Korean music, she often listens to Japanese music. So we don’t go to listen to music (using this cuz I haven’t learned the word “concert†yet) together. On Sundays we both sleep in the morning. I live in the dorm for exchange students. She doesn’t visit me at the dorm. I often wake up at 12, eat lunch, then go to her house to visit her. We often watch TV then study together at her house. Her house is not near to the dorm, it’s very far. I often go to her house by bus. On Tuesdays, we both don’t have classes. We would go to the movies together then go shopping at the department store.

我想介ç»æˆ‘的朋å‹ï¼Œå¥¹çš„å字是洪姫月。她是韩国人，但她ä¸æ˜¯ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿã€‚她会说日语和韩语。她是我的高中åŒå­¦ï¼Œå¥¹å’Œæˆ‘常一起回家。我很高兴能认识到她。她的年龄是åä¹å²ã€‚她的生日是在一月二å三日。她ä½åœ¨ä¸œäº¬å¸‚新宿区,西早稲田路五å·æ¥¼ä¸‰å±‚,房间三一三。她说她的家庭由四å£äººç»„æˆï¼Œé‚£å°±æ˜¯çˆ¸çˆ¸ï¼Œå¦ˆå¦ˆï¼Œå¼Ÿå¼Ÿå’Œå¥¹ã€‚她的爸爸在银行工作，所以他很忙。她妈妈并没工作，而她的弟弟是学生。他们都很å¥åº·ã€‚姫月ä¸æ˜¯æ—©ç¨»ç”°å¤§å­¦çš„学生，而是立教大学学生。她在大学修学英语。她目å‰å•ç”Ÿã€‚她和我常在星期六一起去看电影和去玩ä¿é¾„çƒã€‚

 

我们常观看美国和韩国的电影。我喜爱å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¥¹å´ä¸å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå而比较喜欢日本的音ä¹ã€‚星期天我和她喜欢花上åˆçš„时间ç¡è§‰ã€‚我ä½åœ¨å­¦æ ¡ä¾›ç»™ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿçš„宿èˆï¼Œå¥¹ä¸ä¼šåŽ»å®¿èˆæŽ¢æœ›æˆ‘。我常在中åˆå二点起床，åƒé¥­åŽï¼ŒåŽ»æŽ¢æœ›å¥¹ã€‚我们常在她家一起看电视机，然åŽä¸€èµ·æ¸©ä¹ åŠŸè¯¾ã€‚由于她家离宿èˆç›¸å½“远，所以我需è¦æ­å·´å£«æ‰èƒ½åˆ°å¥¹çš„家。她和我星期二都没有课，我们并è¶æœºåˆ©ç”¨è¿™å¤©ä¸€èµ·åŽ»çœ‹ç”µå½±å’ŒåŽ»ç™¾è´§å¤§æ¥¼æ¸¸é€›ã€‚

 

Tried my best lol.Ignore the bold part, cant change it for some reason.

[maidoan97]

我想介ç»æˆ‘的朋å‹ï¼Œå¥¹çš„å字是洪姫月。她是韩国人，但她ä¸æ˜¯ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿã€‚她会说日语和韩语。她是我的高中åŒå­¦ï¼Œå¥¹å’Œæˆ‘常一起回家。我很高兴能认识到她。她的年龄是åä¹å²ã€‚她的生日是在一月二å三日。她ä½åœ¨ä¸œäº¬å¸‚新宿区,西早稲田路五å·æ¥¼ä¸‰å±‚,房间三一三。她说她的家庭由四å£äººç»„æˆï¼Œé‚£å°±æ˜¯çˆ¸çˆ¸ï¼Œå¦ˆå¦ˆï¼Œå¼Ÿå¼Ÿå’Œå¥¹ã€‚她的爸爸在银行工作，所以他很忙。她妈妈并没工作，而她的弟弟是学生。他们都很å¥åº·ã€‚姫月ä¸æ˜¯æ—©ç¨»ç”°å¤§å­¦çš„学生，而是立教大学学生。她在大学修学英语。她目å‰å•ç”Ÿã€‚她和我常在星期六一起去看电影和去玩ä¿é¾„çƒã€‚

 

我们常观看美国和韩国的电影。我喜爱å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå¥¹å´ä¸å¬éŸ©å›½çš„音ä¹ï¼Œå而比较喜欢日本的音ä¹ã€‚星期天我和她喜欢花上åˆçš„时间ç¡è§‰ã€‚我ä½åœ¨å­¦æ ¡ä¾›ç»™ç•™å­¦ç”Ÿçš„宿èˆï¼Œå¥¹ä¸ä¼šåŽ»å®¿èˆæŽ¢æœ›æˆ‘。我常在中åˆå二点起床，åƒé¥­åŽï¼ŒåŽ»æŽ¢æœ›å¥¹ã€‚我们常在她家一起看电视机，然åŽä¸€èµ·æ¸©ä¹ åŠŸè¯¾ã€‚由于她家离宿èˆç›¸å½“远，所以我需è¦æ­å·´å£«æ‰èƒ½åˆ°å¥¹çš„家。她和我星期二都没有课，我们并è¶æœºåˆ©ç”¨è¿™å¤©ä¸€èµ·åŽ»çœ‹ç”µå½±å’ŒåŽ»ç™¾è´§å¤§æ¥¼æ¸¸é€›ã€‚

 

Tried my best lol.Ignore the bold part, cant change it for some reason.

OMG thank you so much!!!

 

 

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