How to tell an unsound person to stop following you in school

[darkishreality]

(I should be studying for my A's tomorrow but I have done so much to the point that my dreams are all about the exam materials so)

 

Anyways it's a follow-up to this flop thread which you can read it here : https://onehallyu.com/topic/568074-how-to-deal-with-friends-in-school-rant/

 

Anyways TL:DR i didn't really like B and A because of their weird anti-social behaviours which i felt were probably due to their mental illnesses. We (bf and i) tried to be friends with them so that they won't seem so lonely in school,

 

These days, I'm okay with B now, although recently he was so stressed out with his class to the point where he got himself sick (and I too, thanks to some people who can't use their brains)

 

However, A has been one of my huge source of frustration. Me, boyfriend and B have been hinting to her that we don't like her presence through subtle but not-so-subtle actions like leaving her alone in the canteen before break ends, leaving her out of conversations that does not involve her, and just trying to avoid her in general.

 

Unfortunately, she always find her way back in, one way or another. 

 

When we leave her behind in the canteen before break ends, she would hurriedly pack her bags and run to join us, even though we already said our byes to her. She would usually run to join my boyfriend's side, probably because he's the only one whom she feels she could talk to. 

 

Just a couple of days ago, I was staying back with boyfriend and B when suddenly A came to join our table. Naturally, we were a bit eh and it progressively got worse as time ticked by. While B and boyfriend were talking, she will be like 'is it the....' when it doesn't even concerned her. The three of us were also talking about food from different cultures when suddenly A butted in and asked 'Do you like -inserts her own culture food-?' She also asked us whether she's a nice person or not. .-. She also sorta begged my bf next year to sit with her if our classes were merged :/

 

Days before this, I was sitting alone in the canteen when she suddenly came to join me, which I obviously didn't want to but couldn't take the hint. She then kept asking me what I was eating (i don't like to speak when i eat) and kept asking me how is the food prepared, etc. She also went from asking how the food was made to how she ordered this huge tuna when she was overseas, and then telling me to go on a backpack trip to Italy some time. I was like 'wow i would if i had the money someday' 

 

And onto the main point of the topic, SHE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME, WHEREVER I GO, EVEN WHEN WE HAVE DIFFERENT CLASSES AT DIFFERENT VENUES in which she could have taken the shorter route. This also happens for breaks, where I would barely step out of my classroom when she suddenly shot right up from the door and asked if im going down for break. I would have to say yes, or else I wouldn't know what to do. Right after I say yes, she'll be like 'okay see you downstairs!'??????????????? pLS 

 

In the morning too, before assembly, she would sit really close to my boyfriend (which makes him really uncomfortable) and like my boyfriend would obviously be reacting adversely to her close proximity (aka squeezing himself in) but she would still continue to move closer to him. I had to control every ounce of myself to not flare at her in the morning.

 

sav eme, i can't bear the thought of having to tolerate her for another year. i want to break off the friendship with her, yet i don't want to be seen as one of those able-bodied people who can't help those who are disabled. ]:

[Princess Yelena]

Don't control yourself, just tell her, she will get mad and stop following you 

[Sana Minatozaki]

tbh i would start yelling at her , ain't anyone gonna follow me and sit close to my bf

[cake mf]

I mean...I think she knows you guys don’t like her but doesn’t want to look like a loner. Maybe help her make new friends that actually like her?

[mumenrider]

Girl A needs to find new friends, but from your last post is seems that she is not well liked by people. She doesn't get your hints and is obviously very clingy. I would tell her straight up that she needs to let you have space. With people like her, there's no use for hints. Just be honest even if it hurts her feelings. 

[darkishreality]

Don't control yourself, just tell her, she will get mad and stop following you 

 

I have a feeling that even if i do this, she'll still choose to follow us at a distance and sit as close yet far as possible from us because she has no friends

 

tbh i would start yelling at her , ain't anyone gonna follow me and sit close to my bf

 

then I would be seen as those able-bodied people who bully mentally-handicapped individuals ]]]]: and she and B doesn't know that we are dating, although it doesn't really make a difference coz she used to sit real close with a guy who was known to be dating one of our classmates in school.

 

I mean...I think she knows you guys don’t like her but doesn’t want to look like a loner. Maybe help her make new friends that actually like her?

 

the issue is, every time we bring her up to someone that remotely knows about her, they would rather sit by themselves than to sit with her. This goes the same for the rest who know her pretty well. It's very rare to find someone else who likes being with her, and even shares the same break as her.

 

Girl A needs to find new friends, but from your last post is seems that she is not well liked by people. She doesn't get your hints and is obviously very clingy. I would tell her straight up that she needs to let you have space. With people like her, there's no use for hints. Just be honest even if it hurts her feelings. 

 

I'm just worried that I might be seen as a bully if i did that, but I will take your reply into consideration. Thanks!

[ideonsshi]

She has autism right? I have an underclassman suffering from autism (and he's high-functioning), and no matter how you stop him, he just won't. Even when his dad gives him endless advice he still doesn't show any significant change until this day.

 

I agree with the idea of telling her directly, and I really want to know what will happen. I think she knows what she's doing but she can't stop, and so far I know it's common for people with autism. Try to give her a hint that you want to stay as friends only, not as close friends but also not as an enemy. Tell her everyday and not just once, but don't be harsh on her, too.

 

I am no expert at mental illnesses but I know that people with autism suffer from social anxiety a lot more since they don't know what's wrong with their actions. I wish you the best of luck~