taeyeoni 670 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Hello, I noticed that all my life the way I interact with friends is in a "flirty" (I don't know the word to describe it), but basically when i talk to them its never relaxed, and I don't really talk to them as equals. I talk to them like their an audience, and everything i say is either meant to draw their attention or impress them.... I guess the problem is I want them to like me more than i like them...instead of just taking it easy and being friends with them Note: this is not related to love or romance, its just i started to realize i may come across as arrogant even with friends, i would love to behave humbly though... Advice please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich witch 20,592 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 difficult to say. you just need to let go of that "i want them to like me" mindset and just... idk, be you? talk less about yourself and listen more, and be open to learn from others and accept criticism when it comes from an honest place, not a malicious one. when you constantly try to impress people, they see it and then they like you less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shocking blue 7,514 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Well at least you caught this yourself so you're self-aware. Nobody is perfect honestly, but if you feel like you're not being genuine I guess just think of it this way: friends are for being real with and enjoying each others company. It shouldn't be hard work to enjoy each others company and if you just be yourself and they stick around, you will probably feel much more relaxed and happy with yourself vs if you keep trying hard to impress them. And if they don't stick around, they don't like you for you and are not worth having in the first place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adina kim 484 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 keep it up u unique ,dont stuck and be plain boring like the rest of human being... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delfinos 4,224 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Now that you identified the problem you can be able to fix it. Instead of trying to be the one impressing and being the center of attention, take a backseat to the conversation at hand and try to relax a bit more. Realize that your friends are simply your friends.They don't care and mostly don't even realize you're trying so hard because they aren't doing the same thing as you. Although, they could notice your superiorty complex. Observe how they communicate with you or among each other and take that to heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enki91 91 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 I used to be like this, until i've started to notice the same behaviour in someone else and how it appeared to me, and realized that's how i probably come across to other people i like aswell. You seem to be at that point of realization right now, so you have very good chances to change it for the better. Can basically only repeat what the others wrote already, just try to listen to your friends carefully, include them into conversations, hear their opinions even if they differ from yours and just relax and be yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taeyeoni 670 Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 I used to be like this, until i've started to notice the same behaviour in someone else and how it appeared to me, and realized that's how i probably come across to other people i like aswell. You seem to be at that point of realization right now, so you have very good chances to change it for the better. Can basically only repeat what the others wrote already, just try to listen to your friends carefully, include them into conversations, hear their opinions even if they differ from yours and just relax and be yourself. hi, is it alright if you told me how exactly did you stop? thanks for your reply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enki91 91 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 hi, is it alright if you told me how exactly did you stop? thanks for your reply Sure, pretty simple actually. I've just tried to analyze the other person, and then tried to avoid doing the things that seemed odd to me. Definitely helped a lot having a real life example, not sure if there's anyone you could "learn" from the same way. Another thing that will really help you getting rid of this is by boosting your self confidence. You will just naturally start to talk less about yourself in hopes to impress people, and actually impress them more by just being yourself because you know you're a great and self-confident person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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