is it wrong to treat a girl you like this way?

[리�윤]

is it wrong to treat a girl you like or your GF differently at work and outside of work?

 

this job isn't an office job

it's like an event related job

 

i have interest in a girl that works for me

but as superior i always treat her the same with others

so there won't be any discrimination in work

but outside of work we talk comfortably 

 

after some times she asked me did i have a feeling of her or not

because she was confused when she meet me while working

as i never really pay more attention to her at work

then i said of course it's different

because at work i only focus on the job

and after that she started to distance herself

 

i know maybe it's not an attitude the girls would expect

but i don't think it's a wrong thing to do either

how do you guys think about it?

[Guest]

being professional at job is the right thing to do. she probably really did expect that you will give her advantages lol

 

also reconsider if you really want to have a girlfriend with such mindset. 

[Loonathehoe]

I think it's fine. You can't start being favorable to her just because you like her and I think she's a bit dumb if she expected that. Maybe she just used you to have benefits in job :(

[Daria~]

What you did was the right thing to do. Maybe, you should discuss it with her and tell her that you like to things professional at the work place

[kchungha]

i think it's normal to act differently at work

[KaniPi]

I think being professional is fine to a certain extent, but if you're completely being different and treating her coldly than from outside, then it can be a bit awkward. You can still be friendly but not flirtatious at work. It sort of gives mixed signals to me. If you're serious about her, then make it official, and keep your relationship outside of work. She might have distanced herself, because you said you just want to focus on the job, maybe she thought you don't feel that strongly about her. Not sure, but if you care about her, just talk to her about it.

[리�윤]

being professional at job is the right thing to do. she probably really did expect that you will give her advantages lol

I think it's fine. You can't start being favorable to her just because you like her and I think she's a bit dumb if she expected that. Maybe she just used you to have benefits in job :(

 

i do got the feeling she really want to take benefits from me too

but we've met in this kind of job quite often tho

and this is the first time she said things like this

 

well our friends said i didn't give her any attention

like ask how she did

or praise her 

well i'm not the type to talk when the kids are doing their job

and only talk to them during recess time

 

well i just hope she's not what we think she is

because she is quite good as a friend too

so even if it doesn't turn out well we can still be friends

and i don't want to be awkward in case we got to work together again

[Bluebells and Snowdrops]

I think you did the right thing. There shouldn't be any discrimination in the workplace based on personal relationships

[Guest]

 

i do got the feeling she really want to take benefits from me too

but we've met in this kind of job quite often tho

and this is the first time she said things like this

 

well our friends said i didn't give her any attention

like ask how she did

or praise her 

well i'm not the type to talk when the kids are doing their job

and only talk to them during recess time

 

well i just hope she's not what we think she is

because she is quite good as a friend too

so even if it doesn't turn out well we can still be friends

and i don't want to be awkward in case we got to work together again

 

 

well, being friends seems like the safest way for now

[bluequail]

you made the right choice for sure to be professional at work. its not fair of her to expect that you would treat her differently in the workplace just because you liked her, its not fair to other employees

[mamawoohoo]

I think being professional is fine to a certain extent, but if you're completely being different and treating her coldly than from outside, then it can be a bit awkward. You can still be friendly but not flirtatious at work. It sort of gives mixed signals to me. If you're serious about her, then make it official, and keep your relationship outside of work. She might have distanced herself, because you said you just want to focus on the job, maybe she thought you don't feel that strongly about her. Not sure, but if you care about her, just talk to her about it.

This.

she may have thought that you weren't serious about her.It's wrong to assume that she just wants favours,so you should really talk to her about this.

[Reipaca]

You're doing the right thing by remaining professional at work. You shouldn't treat her in a special way just because you like her. If she expects that from you then she's the one at fault.

[Suzy Quatro]

I think in theory the best thing to do would be to act professional, but that never happens as people aren't motionless beings. So if this girl was into you yo just blow all your chances with her as I don't think it would be bad to be more friendly with her, or anyone for that matter, bu if the girl wanted to take advantage on your positions then I guess it wasn't bad at all that happened.

 

Anyway it's fine you have that type of work ethic but try not to overdo it. Sometimes, when you like someone and don't want to be as evident (or in your case want to be professional) you can end up overcompensating because the very fact you like it and end up being unnecessarily cold. It has happened to me when I end up being way more cold than I should with a girl I actually like.

[리�윤]

okay than most of you said it's a right thing to do

and some suggest i'll be more friendly too

 

well actually i'm not that cold toward her

but because there's a target in our jobs so i tend to focus on that

 

then i'll try to be less "work minded" 

not only to her but to other as well

and be good to her and talk to her outside work time

 

thanks for all the advice

[in good taste]

if I were her, I'd be pretty confused haha. "Why is he so indifferent at work but sweet outside?" I'd assume you aren't serious, and just like flirting with me, or smth along those lines. 

[리�윤]

if I were her, I'd be pretty confused haha. "Why is he so indifferent at work but sweet outside?" I'd assume you aren't serious, and just like flirting with me, or smth along those lines. 

ow she can think that way too?

well absolutely need to talk about it then

 

thanks for the advice

[Pleasure]

this happened to me before :/ the guy was friendly at first and then became so cold to me always, because he had feelings for me ..... :o so don't be too cold ! she could be your soulmate