How to deal with friends in school (rant)

[darkishreality]

So my boyfriend and I would always have these 2 friends with us as we have our breaks and stuff. For simplicity and anonymity I'll just call them A and B. 

 

Because all four of us are the so-called 'loners' of the class, no one would really approach us in school unless it's lessons-related stuff, hence we are always open to A and B to join us during breaks because they usually have no one to sit with other than us.

 

To give some context, A isn't really well-received in school. In fact, she sits alone in class and people would often use a variety of methods to avoid sitting with her in class or just be nasty to her. She has Autism (not sure what spectrum) and Social Anxiety Disorder. The reason why people dislike her isn't really because of her mental illnesses, but the way she hangs out with people. She's literally a hogger, meaning that even though the 4 of us share a table at a canteen, she would literally put her stuff from one end of the table to another end, leaving no space for B to put his stuff. B often has to push her stuff aside so that he'll have space.

 

I have told A to not do that since last year, but she has never listened to me. She's even proud of being a hogger, and said that she 'can't help it'. She also complained that her Chinese friends always use Chinese to speak to each other around her, making her feeling lonely because she's Malay. The issue is, I'm Chinese, and sometimes when I'm with her and her other Malay friend, she would suddenly switch into Malay and I'm there like ???????????????? 

 

A also enjoys flaunting her wealth. She's the richest amongst the 4 of us. There were a few times when she asked us 'How many cars do you have?' .... 

 

 

Recently A has also did something which pissed me off. Because the teacher lost A's exam question paper, she asked me for my copy to photocopy it. I told her to tape off my name on her own copy when she gets it done. She ended up taping my name off on my own original copy. :/ I really can't stand her presence and her hypocritical nature, I mean, calling yourself the teachers' pet? really? I'm only talking to her because she prefers talking to my boyfriend, and that my boyfriend doesn't have the heart to treat her the way others have been treating her.

 

As for B, he has been giving me weird vibes recently. I thought it was just me, but I asked my other close guy friend and another female friend of mine and they both said they didn't feel comfortable when talking to him. They both pinpointed the fact that he tried too hard to fit in. (why bother when we are all social outcasts in high school??) He too, has mental illnesses (can't remember which one) and I vaguely remember him saying that he has violent tendencies. My close guy friend also said that he saw B being bullied last year. However, since he likes talking to my boyfriend and I, I try to accommodate his presence and talk to him as much as I could. He also tries way too much in liking BTS which is a slight turn off, because he would only talk about BTS to me and nothing else :/ 

 

Sorry if it's too long, tl:dr boyfriend and i attract weird friends to our table and all three of us don't really like A but i don't like both A and B and idk what to do because i don't have a lot of friends in school 

[WINTER VELVET]

when do you graduate because i wont have the heart to stop being their friend

[darkishreality]

when do you graduate because i wont have the heart to stop being their friend

 

next year if everything goes well 

[WINTER VELVET]

next year if everything goes well 

 

well survive for a couple more months then ditch them and forget their existence .

[Hwayoung]

delete your facebook when you graduate when u remake only add ppl u actually trust 

[im_too_hungry_for_my_cat]

Like u said u guys are loners, if i were u, go talk to them about ur issues with them. If they wont act like a friend to u then u should act like a friend to them. everybody deserves second chance. Like u said they have mental illness u should always try to understand them dont treat them bad even if u want to. Someday u will regret it that u throw them away instead of helping them. u wont achieve anything without suffering. There are some people who are just stupid to understand things so just treat them nicely. dont overdo it to the point that they take advantage of u. Show them the real u so that they can understand u. Some people needs some talk to fix their attitude. I hope u wont let them by themselves, its hard to be alone in the school unless he/she a smart person who always thinking about quadratic formula. I peek to A and B's shoes it is so hard to have mental problems sometimes they unconsciously annoy people around them, think about this = they dont wanna hurt anybody but they are like that so u gonna adjust, if ure really kind u will accept ur friends wherever the waves takes u. Remember: U cant spell FRIENDS without FRIES.

[Suzy Quatro]

I also had weird friends and I'm never been a very social person so time and time again I would felt annoyed by some of my not so close friends. They way I dealt with that was just simply stop hanging with them for a while, and being by myself or making new friends in the process of avoiding them. So I think the key is how you manage your time with them and having other things you can do by yourself.

[Llydia]

Sounds like its time for a deep conversation.

 

Especially with A. Talk about your issues with her, how she shows her wealth, tell her you feel left out when they speak Malay (&just like how she feels when ppl speak chinese) etc.

She probably doesnt know how she can come off?

 

If she does know these issues, then tell her and if it continues- drop her.

 

For B just let him know that youre there for him, he doesnt need to try hard etc.

 

If youre just tired, cut them off lol.

[darkishreality]

delete your facebook when you graduate when u remake only add ppl u actually trust

 

I thought this was a joke at first then I remembered adding B on facebook .-. point noted, man

 

 

 

whenever they display behaviours that aren't the norm I'd always try to reason it as their mental illnesses acting up and try my best to understand them. but idk what is the boundary between their mental illness acting up or just them being a**holes and privileged people. My school is filled with loads of privileged kids (for some reason) but they are mentally well and often come to class with the attitude of 'oh im rich so i should be treated as royalty' kinda thing so the lines between this and that have blurred for me. 

 

And lastly, I can't relate to the fries one (because i don't really like fries) so welp. But I got what you meant.

 

I also had weird friends and I'm never been a very social person so time and time again I would felt annoyed by some of my not so close friends. They way I dealt with that was just simply stop hanging with them for a while, and being by myself or making new friends in the process of avoiding them. So I think the key is how you manage your time with them and having other things you can do by yourself.

 

and then they'll be pissed if I did that because they'll think I'm being a mean person for abandoning them ]: I've tried it before 

 

Sounds like its time for a deep conversation.

 

Especially with A. Talk about your issues with her, how she shows her wealth, tell her you feel left out when they speak Malay (&just like how she feels when ppl speak chinese) etc.

She probably doesnt know how she can come off?

 

If she does know these issues, then tell her and if it continues- drop her.

 

For B just let him know that youre there for him, he doesnt need to try hard etc.

 

If youre just tired, cut them off lol.

 

Her previous friends probably did that to her which made her felt hurt (the deep talk thing), which was why she came to us. 

 

As for B, I suddenly remember once when he walked past boyfriend and I with his friend and suddenly talked shit about us in a very loud tone. That was after I said 'We'll be there for him' 

 

]:

[KaniPi]

Honestly, just speak to them directly about what they have said, and see if they improve their behaviour. There is no point hanging out with them, if you feel like this. Being friends with someone just because you feel sorry for them? that's not friendship. Also, its not really about mental illness, they should at least have some consideration for others, if its not severely affecting their emotional state. If it is, they need professional help.