vocabulary 890 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 He told his parents that he's gay. They were beyond horrified and agitated. They forced him to stop school so they could send him to America for counseling and treatment as they believe this is a "disease". He told one or two guy friends he trust, but they spread it to the entire school instead. After his return, he became very withdrawn and easily anxious. I have homophobic friends who bitch about him a lot and wish him ill. He used to be so happy and extroverted. I feel bad looking at him but there's nothing I can do. I feel helpless that I cannot stop other people's mouths... Edit: I don't know why I'm sharing this either. It is just appalling to see that it is not anyone else who's bringing this guy down, but my good friends, the friends I've known for years are part of those who are viciously tearing him down and insulting him behind his back. Asia, by the way. Edit: by the way, when I say I can't stop people's mouth, I meant my close friend's mouth AFTER the incident was over. I only found out the full story AFTER it was over. If anyone remember, I've posted on OH before that I was unable to go to school for a year because I was very ill? I remember posting rather negative or sad threads before. I left before the guy. After I left, then, he was forced to leave. We both returned around the same time. I never knew until one of my old friends told me. If you guys don't get it, only me and him are in the same school. The rest have graduated. I'm sharing this story that an old friend told me about how this guy was betrayed by his friend when his secret was spread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harlowwinding 516 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 where are you....that's just terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovesound 4,053 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 this is really struggling, btw was he masculine and manly? im a gay guy but im feminism and girly, and i don't have close friends, i just talk normally with female classmates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neojasnee 2,751 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 You sit back and did nothing i'm sorry but imo that makes you just as bad as them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vocabulary 890 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 You sit back and did nothing i'm sorry but imo that makes you just as bad as them I'm sorry, but you can stalk my archived threads (ask the mods, idk how it works) and you'll realize that I've taken time off from school as well. I only found out all these when I returned to school, hence I can suddenly post the "full story" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miyoo 458 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 people can be so mean :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laamaa 7,510 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 That's so sick :( All you can do is support him I guess? Let him know that your'e there for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neojasnee 2,751 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I'm sorry, but you can stalk my archived threads (ask the mods, idk how it works) and you'll realize that I've taken time off from school as well. I only found out all these when I returned to school, hence I can suddenly post the "full story" Ah. Also ditch your homophobic friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IceSmile 895 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 OMG. Please be there for your friend :( This is so devastating... to speak up about something to somebody you trust just to be betrayed to the highest level. I am not too much into screaming LGBT (sorry I grew up in a conservative country) myself but I do believe in equal rights and the right to marry/be with someone you love regardless of gender. BULLYING shouldn't be tolerated. What's more hurtful is the even his parents are thinking his existence is a disease... I can't even imagine a scenario telling my parents I want to change my profession... I don't but something so simple as that is hard I can't imagine if it's your identity you're telling them about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eunjo 7,657 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I'm sorry, but you can stalk my archived threads (ask the mods, idk how it works) and you'll realize that I've taken time off from school as well. I only found out all these when I returned to school, hence I can suddenly post the "full story" I think he needs someone to talk to if it can't be you. http://suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html ik you never said he was suicidal or not but nonetheless I think you should urge him to call or give him the support he needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Affley 2,944 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Be there for him as a friend as much as you can, he doesn't need 1000 useless friends if he can have one friend that cares and respect his feelings. True friends hardly exists, those were never his friends if they treat him this way. I hope he manage to survive the backlash and don't get too disheartened, the world is too cruel to live in but he can survive it, the storm will pass soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimchidiablo 6,189 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 where does your friend live? i swear i thought coming out is easier now since gays in my semi-conservative country are easily accepted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinky Winky 1,232 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I feel so bad for him. I can't imagine how that must feel, since all my friends are either queer themselves or support lgbt (I've ditched the ones who aren't). Be there for him, talk to him. It's a tough situation, but I wish him the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vocabulary 890 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 this is really struggling, btw was he masculine and manly? im a gay guy but im feminism and girly, and i don't have close friends, i just talk normally with female classmates He's not masculine or manly. I'd say he probably leans more towards "feminine". He learns dance and is very thin. (Ps not judging him, just saying "feminine" as in according to "societal norms", especially Asia) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vocabulary 890 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 where does your friend live? i swear i thought coming out is easier now since gays in my semi-conservative country are easily accepted. I was also very surprised when I found out. It's Asia but I thought at least the younger generation would be mostly accepting and that the issue mostly lies with the older generation. I didn't know it'd be like this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JihyoStoleMyHeartAYAYAY 22,189 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 thats terrible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedVelvetTrash 484 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Your friend's situation is what I've always feared growing up. I was very withdrawn because of it. I guess the older I got, the more confident I was in who I was. I hope your friend finds the strength to be happy with himself and give zero f***s about what other people say (easier said than done ik). All you can do is let them know that your there for them and that you support them. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 That sounds pretty bad, like the worst possible outcome ever and I bet he regrets doing it and most probably he would had been better keeping that a secret. The worst has to be their parents reaction because not having their support has to hurt a lot, so that's like the biggest issue. Hope the guy can make up with his parents at some point and they come to accept him; I'm sure they had certain expectations about him becoming a good man and forming a family so this has to be a shock for their retrograde minds but if they keep up like this they would end up crushing his spirit and self-esteem which can later translate into developing auto-destructive behavior and attitudes or a serious depression. So if wanted to get involved and help I would try to persuade their parents into having a more understanding and comprehensive attitude towards him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JiMiJu 1,858 Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 So unfortunate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChungJoJo 31 Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 k? so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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