North and South 4,680 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 So I've been having a recurring issue with someone I barely know, because they are treating me like a human calculator. Basically we have assignments every Wednesday for a course I'm taking, and I know a lot of people in it. I'm pretty good at the subject, so every Wednesday I'll be bombarded with calls asking for help on it. Honestly, I don't mind helping people. I actually rather like it. And people are usually very discreet and considerate about it, they'll only ask one or two questions about it. But there is this one girl who I unfortunately gave my number too because of another class we were in together. I have literally met her like three times. But she calls me every wednesday, without fail. Again, I don't mind if it's only one question. But she calls me 30 minutes before the assignment is due, (at 11:30 pm) tells me she forgot to do the assignment in the two weeks it was due, and that she needs help doing it. At this point I'm sort of flabbergasted. I agree to help her and then ask her to tell me what questions she needs help on. This shameless person then just sends me the entire assignment. Then she has the AUDACITY to be upset when she doesn't get one of the questions right because she didn't enter it on time. Honestly I was pissed. She called me again this Wednesday, and tried to pull the same trick, (This time she had been "ill" complete with fake hacking coughs). But I helped with two questions and then basically told her to figure it out herself. Anybody else ever had to go through something like this? I think I need to be a bit bitchier and less faint hearted when dealing with people like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akisame 3,880 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I don't. If I'm not close friends with someone I flat out don't help them, and my close friends barely ask me for help anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
초췌 270 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 act like you aren't sure how to do the problems and give them some wrong answers works every time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aripod 2,721 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Tell her she needs to learn to do it herself or pay you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good People 2,455 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Are you serious? Do not entertain latenight calls from anyone unless they are important to you (best friend, relative etc). It's crazy to answer this girl's call late at night in the first place. Since she doesn't have basic respect for peoples' sleep at night, you will have to teach her some manners. Explain to her that calling people beyond a certain hour is rude. Then when she does it again, ignore her. From 9pm to 7am every night my phone is in silent mode. MY NIGHTTIME PEACE IS PRECIOUS. IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yume 3,886 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Tell her you are about to go out, or are really busy with something else and can't help her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teru 22,363 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 wow what a dick, I just wouldn't pick up the phone and if they kept calling I'd say sorry, I am busy/trying to sleep/not available etc. she's wasting your precious time and you're letting her take advantage of you too easily Are you serious? Do not entertain latenight calls from anyone unless they are important to you (best friend, relative etc). It's crazy to answer this girl's call late at night in the first place. Since she doesn't have basic respect for peoples' sleep at night, you will have to teach her some manners. Explain to her that calling people beyond a certain hour is rude. Then when she does it again, ignore her. From 9pm to 7am every night my phone is in silent mode. MY NIGHTTIME PEACE IS PRECIOUS. IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!! pretty much. you do not have to be polite about this just tell her to do her own damn work lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North and South 4,680 Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 I don't. If I'm not close friends with someone I flat out don't help them, and my close friends barely ask me for help anyway. Yeah, I think some people just have different temperaments when it comes to this. Of my friends, some will often ask for help, others wouldn't even ask for a lifesaver if they were drowning. I should be firmer in any case. act like you aren't sure how to do the problems and give them some wrong answers works every time PFFFT. Honestly, I probably will try this on someone. Tell her she needs to learn to do it herself or pay you. Are you serious? Do not entertain latenight calls from anyone unless they are important to you (best friend, relative etc). It's crazy to answer this girl's call late at night in the first place. Since she doesn't have basic respect for peoples' sleep at night, you will have to teach her some manners. Explain to her that calling people beyond a certain hour is rude. Then when she does it again, ignore her. From 9pm to 7am every night my phone is in silent mode. MY NIGHTTIME PEACE IS PRECIOUS. IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!! wow what a dick, I just wouldn't pick up the phone and if they kept calling I'd say sorry, I am busy/trying to sleep/not available etc. she's wasting your precious time and you're letting her take advantage of you too easily pretty much. you do not have to be polite about this just tell her to do her own damn work lol It's hard for me to take this sort of approach, because that's just not how I am at all, but I think it's necessary in this situation. Not saying that being firm is a bad thing, it's just not how I usually act, and it's hard because I really do like helping people. But she's being a bitch and she needs a wake up call... so I'll set aside my humanitarian ways for a while I suppose. Tell her you are about to go out, or are really busy with something else and can't help her. Honestly, I did try this the last time she called, because I was really busy with an essay, but she's pretty persistent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aripod 2,721 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Sorry I meant to say that you're doings tutor's job if you help her and if she's asking you to do it for her it's wrong. If she can't be respectful of your free time and treat your help as a privilege she doesn't deserve to be helped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yerowan 1,006 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 ... Anybody else ever had to go through something like this? I think I need to be a bit bitchier and less faint hearted when dealing with people like this. If you have a people-pleaser personality, it adds several layers of difficulty in telling people to bugger off. Just try to remember that crappy people will probably talk shit about you even if you DO help them, so it's not worth your time or energy to A) help them and/or B) dwell on it. In this particular situation, you could simply tell her, as politely as possible, that she seems to be having trouble with some of (all of?) the basic concepts of the class, so she should really be speaking to the instructor to get help. Honestly, I did try this the last time she called, because I was really busy with an essay, but she's pretty persistent. Oh, now, that's just BULLshit. You should not have to explain that getting your own work done takes priority over helping anyone else get theirs done, nevermind some snotty entitled procrastinating flaky brat. *rage on your behalf* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North and South 4,680 Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 Sorry I meant to say that you're doings tutor's job if you help her and if she's asking you to do it for her it's wrong. If she can't be respectful of your free time and treat your help as a privilege she doesn't deserve to be helped. No need to apologize, lols, the reply system is tricky It's not even tutoring, it's basically doing the assignment for her. I do feel like she's taking my help for granted, and yeah, I didn't realize people could still be so childish and downright THICK SKINNED even in like 3rd year university... If you have a people-pleaser personality, it adds several layers of difficulty in telling people to bugger off. Just try to remember that crappy people will probably talk shit about you even if you DO help them, so it's not worth your time or energy to A) help them and/or B) dwell on it. In this particular situation, you could simply tell her, as politely as possible, that she seems to be having trouble with some of (all of?) the basic concepts of the class, so she should really be speaking to the instructor to get help. Oh, now, that's just BULLshit. You should not have to explain that getting your own work done takes priority over helping anyone else get theirs done, nevermind some snotty entitled procrastinating flaky brat. *rage on your behalf* This girls doesn't even go to class. At least, I've never seen her there. Honestly, now that I've written it all out, I sound like an idiot myself for even trying to help her at all =_= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yerowan 1,006 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 No need to apologize, lols, the reply system is tricky It's not even tutoring, it's basically doing the assignment for her. I do feel like she's taking my help for granted, and yeah, I didn't realize people could still be so childish and downright THICK SKINNED even in like 3rd year university... This girls doesn't even go to class. At least, I've never seen her there. Honestly, now that I've written it all out, I sound like an idiot myself for even trying to help her at all =_= Well, how would you have known, the first time she asked for help? You saw the pattern, at least, and you're trying not to get walked on, which is good for your own growth. Lots of people have a very hard time saying no, particularly if the request isn't that significant (one question with a quick explanation). People-pleasers don't like other people to think badly of them, so they go out of their way to avoid saying no. If you're more of an inner teacher type (just like to help, explain things, watch the light go on in someone's eyes when they finally GET IT), teachers have to set boundaries as well. And in this case - it's a university. If she doesn't know how to manage her time or workload by now, that's *entirely* on her. Her *actual* teachers aren't going to give her a pass on that. She's a friggin' adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yume 3,886 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 It's hard for me to take this sort of approach, because that's just not how I am at all, but I think it's necessary in this situation. Not saying that being firm is a bad thing, it's just not how I usually act, and it's hard because I really do like helping people. But she's being a bitch and she needs a wake up call... so I'll set aside my humanitarian ways for a while I suppose. Honestly, I did try this the last time she called, because I was really busy with an essay, but she's pretty persistent. You need to be strong. You have your own life and shouldn't waste your time with unappreciative moochers like her. Just remember this next time she calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delincious 5,654 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seultoria 211 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I had this problem in high school, but the way I dealt with it in university was pretty extreme. Don't talk to anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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