Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 hello there <3 i am sorry if i bother you with my stupid first world problems, but i have been struggling with something for a long time now, and could need some advice. :( i have always been a mommy-daddy-person, and until college i also liked to play/hang out with friends and stuff. but, after graduating from high school, and entering university, i became so weird. i rarely hang out with someone, since all my high school friends left for studying and i don't have many friends at university. i always want to stay at home with my family. my family is all i have, i love them so much, but everyday i realize, that they won't be there someday and i will be all by myself & and then i panic and cry a lot & worry so much about my future. i am 20 and never had a boyfriend, and i hate what i study at university and just don't know what to do with my life. i mean, right now, everything is fine, cause i have my family and dont have to worry about work and stuff. but thinking about future, i feel like a complete loser and like a freakin child that won't be able to live on its own. what can i do to let go of my parents and grow up? ;((( i am so depressed and would love to get some advice from you guys. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onehallyu#1NiceOppaKW 27,191 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Graduate and work. Your life will be different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
초췌 270 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 move out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abra 40,910 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 University is different, it's not as close. Are there any sorts of clubs or organizatins you can join there, perhaps? Or maybe go to pubs with fellow students? If you could move into a dorm that'd be a great way of doing it but I guess that you can't, atleast for now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teru 22,363 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 sounds completely normal to me, you're going through the same thing most people do when they enter college and start becoming a proper adult. don't worry too hard about it there's no particular thing for you to do that will suddenly cure this worry, just keep studying and doing your work and doing things that make you happy and it'll fall into place for you over time I'm 27, single (been out with people but never had a proper relationship), dropped out of college twice before I finally completed a BA and MA at a third college, moved countries, am currently unemployed, and I still don't really know what I want to do or what I should be doing with my life at all, and I still depend on my parents for many things and am lucky they're so supportive and generous. but generally, I'm still happy because of the experiences I've had and the friends I've made along the way. so it's all worth it even if it wasn't what I envisioned my life being like when I was a teenager... so yeah, just don't overthink it. distract yourself with things you enjoy, like kpop if it's one of them. you don't need to make yourself feel unnecessarily guilty for having the same feelings everyone your age has at some point. just enjoy your youth and freedom. I have to tell myself this all the time still too, haha if you can look into moving out, it really helps a lot because it forces you to be more independent even if you don't completely cut the apron strings right away. if it's not possible right now for whatever reason (financially/transport wise) then don't worry about it, but make plans to do it when you can. it's the best way to start making your own way in the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simmiâ„¢ 144 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Uni student? Every thought of moving out with friends? dorm life?! and working yourself to pay for your bills? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 sounds completely normal to me, you're going through the same thing most people do when they enter college and start becoming a proper adult. don't worry too hard about it there's no particular thing for you to do that will suddenly cure this worry, just keep studying and doing your work and doing things that make you happy and it'll fall into place for you over time I'm 27, single (been out with people but never had a proper relationship), dropped out of college twice before I finally completed a BA and MA at a third college, moved countries, am currently unemployed, and I still don't really know what I want to do or what I should be doing with my life at all, and I still depend on my parents for many things and am lucky they're so supportive and generous. but generally, I'm still happy because of the experiences I've had and the friends I've made along the way. so it's all worth it even if it wasn't what I envisioned my life being like when I was a teenager... so yeah, just don't overthink it. distract yourself with things you enjoy, like kpop if it's one of them. you don't need to make yourself feel unnecessarily guilty for having the same feelings everyone your age has at some point. just enjoy your youth and freedom. I have to tell myself this all the time still too, haha thanks your long answer everyone ! :( i am halfway through college though ;) so not that new. yeah the thing is, i became sooo socially awkward and lost a lot of self-confidence, like, its so hard for me to have a normal conversation with people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 Uni student? Every thought of moving out with friends? dorm life?! and working yourself to pay for your bills? yes uni student ! i live to close to my university, it would be a waste of money :(( i just have too many classes and exams, i couldnt handle a job :( University is different, it's not as close. Are there any sorts of clubs or organizatins you can join there, perhaps? Or maybe go to pubs with fellow students? If you could move into a dorm that'd be a great way of doing it but I guess that you can't, atleast for now? no unfortunately not :( but thanks <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teru 22,363 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 thanks your long answer everyone ! :( i am halfway through college though ;) so not that new. yeah the thing is, i became sooo socially awkward and lost a lot of self-confidence, like, its so hard for me to have a normal conversation with people. I understand, I suffered from depression and anxiety when I was in college (and I still do as an adult, but not to the same extreme) and I rarely talked to anyone, went anywhere, or did anything. it was the reason I dropped out of my first two colleges, because it was so difficult for me to function on my own initially. I was lucky I had my one close friend (who is three years older than me and was already out of college by the time I went) who really pushed me into being social and coming out of my shell more, and facing my fears generally. even though I didn't have any friends in my college classes, I still managed to come out the other end with my certificate and all that, and I made other friends through my close friend which made up for my lack of friends at college, so it worked out for me. if your college has a counsellor, consider going to them to talk about this stuff, because that's what they're there for. you'd be surprised by the number of people who have the same problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I understand, I suffered from depression and anxiety when I was in college (and I still do as an adult, but not to the same extreme) and I rarely talked to anyone, went anywhere, or did anything. it was the reason I dropped out of my first two colleges, because it was so difficult for me to function on my own initially. I was lucky I had my one close friend (who is three years older than me and was already out of college by the time I went) who really pushed me into being social and coming out of my shell more, and facing my fears generally. even though I didn't have any friends in my college classes, I still managed to come out the other end with my certificate and all that, and I made other friends through my close friend which made up for my lack of friends at college, so it worked out for me. if your college has a counsellor, consider going to them to talk about this stuff, because that's what they're there for. you'd be surprised by the number of people who have the same problems i am glad you feel better now <3 oh haha i dont attend university in the us or so, there isnt something like counsellor who helps you with personal problems... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupsidou 2,047 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 It's useless to study something you don't like at all. Discuss it with your parents and change you major. You'll see there'll be a great improvement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teru 22,363 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 i am glad you feel better now <3 oh haha i dont attend university in the us or so, there isnt something like counsellor who helps you with personal problems... thanks~ I still struggle with it sometimes, but generally I'm much better than I was a few years ago, so it's a gradual process I didn't attend in the US either :p but there might be someone similar, sometimes they're billed as careers advisors but they often actually do personal counselling as well... it's worth finding out either way. and if not, you have the internet to talk to, of course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karisseyyy 49 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I think i felt that too but not the same, I already graduated college though, I used to hang out with me High School friends too, and even more on College! But I didn't like my course so after a year I changed my school and my course, I did like what I take but I wasn't as close to my former classmates, I always go home straight after class. Now that I graduated like almost a year already, I'm burdened with getting a job so i can contribute to our expenses, but me being the childish that I am, is still staying at home, for some reason my parents aren't really forcing me to get a job, but they are helping in a way like suggesting some job opportunities but not forcing me. I think they know that I'm still not ready, I haven't really talked about it to them, but i think, i hope they understand. Also, i lost more contact to the outside world now, after graduating, some have jobs, some like me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I think i felt that too but not the same, I already graduated college though, I used to hang out with me High School friends too, and even more on College! But I didn't like my course so after a year I changed my school and my course, I did like what I take but I wasn't as close to my former classmates, I always go home straight after class. Now that I graduated like almost a year already, I'm burdened with getting a job so i can contribute to our expenses, but me being the childish that I am, is still staying at home, for some reason my parents aren't really forcing me to get a job, but they are helping in a way like suggesting some job opportunities but not forcing me. I think they know that I'm still not ready, I haven't really talked about it to them, but i think, i hope they understand. Also, i lost more contact to the outside world now, after graduating, some have jobs, some like me i feel the same about work! it's not that i am too lazy to work, but i dont want to have a job for the rest of my life that i hate and dont enjoy doing :( and yeah, we still feel like children maybe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karisseyyy 49 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 If i can write my own future or fate, I don't really want to live long, I'm not really sure about having my kids be born in this cruel world we are living in, It's getting worse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 If i can write my own future or fate, I don't really want to live long, I'm not really sure about having my kids be born in this cruel world we are living in, It's getting worse... :O but life is still beautiful !!! think positive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beginning 1,394 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 You'll gradually learn it. Right now it seems scary cause you're still young but as you go through life and college, some things will enable you to take those chances to learn things about the free world. It'll come in naturally don't force yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karisseyyy 49 Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I know but, I don't mind living but not long, I think it fits me better to keep it short but happy in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OHANA Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 You'll gradually learn it. Right now it seems scary cause you're still young but as you go through life and college, some things will enable you to take those chances to learn things about the free world. It'll come in naturally don't force yourself. thank you ! <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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