internalizedhomophobia 1,973 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Why are you still friends with someone who cheated on their partner?Did they have a good "reason" to cheat?If you are no longer friends, did them cheating made you lose trust in them? Let me know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellendciaga 7,198 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 because it doesn't directly affect my life, it's on them so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarShapedGummy 11,380 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 it feels like you're directing this question to a very specific person you know lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spilledmilk 1,857 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'm not friends with a cheater...(cuz I have no friends lmao), but why do people treat cheating as the worst thing a person could ever do in their lifetime? Maybe the topic of morality is too much for a kpop forum, but...we even have phrases like "once a cheater, always a cheater". People apparently can come back from drug additions...from being a thief, a liar etc, but if they kiss a girl while dating another girl they're forever the worst person ever?? People make mistakes and hurt others all the time, in various ways. You are not obligated to forgive someone who has hurt you, but why is forgiving a cheater shamed so much?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
˹AS˼ 3,610 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Where did this come from? Please let us know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasySteezy 860 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Two of my best friends cheated on a partner. I don't support their choices in that area, but they have supported me with all of my bad situations. Ultimately if you are good to me I can accept your faults. I make it known to them that the fact they cheated isn't cool though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petal 1,130 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 None of my friends have cheated (from what I know) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECIâ„¢ 3,974 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 because Im a loyal friend, my friends have to do something really terrible for me to leave them and cheating is not terrible for me, I dont believe in monogamy anyways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallows 9,902 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'm not friends with a cheater...(cuz I have no friends lmao), but why do people treat cheating as the worst thing a person could ever do in their lifetime? Maybe the topic of morality is too much for a kpop forum, but...we even have phrases like "once a cheater, always a cheater". People apparently can come back from drug additions...from being a thief, a liar etc, but if they kiss a girl while dating another girl they're forever the worst person ever?? People make mistakes and hurt others all the time, in various ways. You are not obligated to forgive someone who has hurt you, but why is forgiving a cheater shamed so much?? Because cheaters suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
internalizedhomophobia 1,973 Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'm not friends with a cheater...(cuz I have no friends lmao), but why do people treat cheating as the worst thing a person could ever do in their lifetime? Maybe the topic of morality is too much for a kpop forum, but...we even have phrases like "once a cheater, always a cheater". People apparently can come back from drug additions...from being a thief, a liar etc, but if they kiss a girl while dating another girl they're forever the worst person ever?? People make mistakes and hurt others all the time, in various ways. You are not obligated to forgive someone who has hurt you, but why is forgiving a cheater shamed so much?? Are you comparing drug addiction to cheating? I mean kissing is something to get upset about but it can be resolved and the relationship can continue but sleeping with someone else (or multiple people) several times is definitely something that is an understandable reason to break it off. Never said it's the worst thing someone can do, but it does hurt people. Just wanted to know what the humans of Onehallyu think. Where did this come from? Please let us know. Who r u Two of my best friends cheated on a partner. I don't support their choices in that area, but they have supported me with all of my bad situations. Ultimately if you are good to me I can accept your faults. I make it known to them that the fact they cheated isn't cool though.That's good, hopefully they won't do it again and continue being good people and good significant others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VANTE 4,595 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Where did this come from? Please let us know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spilledmilk 1,857 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Because cheaters suck. They do, and so do a lot of other things that people do. I'm not defending cheating, I'm just questioning general morals. Are you comparing drug addiction to cheating? I mean kissing is something to get upset about but it can be resolved and the relationship can continue but sleeping with someone else (or multiple people) several times is definitely something that is an understandable reason to break it off. Never said it's the worst thing someone can do, but it does hurt people. Just wanted to know what the humans of Onehallyu think. You can break up with someone for whatever reason. You don't gotta stay with a person. Justifiable reason or not. I just don't really get the social stigma of this "sin" compared to other "sins". It's kinda like how it's ok to eat chicken, but people freak out if you say you eat dog. I don't think I'd personally keep hanging around a person who consistently slept with someone else behind their SOs back, but maybe if it was one time and they owned up to the mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g-dragons girlfriend 5,749 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 She"s more than her stupid decision. I don't support what she did, though. Sent from my XT1562 using OneHallyu mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choco dani 2,180 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'm pretty much unforgiving.. in a lot of areas, not only cheating. Unless you are less than 15 years old, you have a full responsibility for your actions. Cruel murderers, rapists...I don't ever want to see them free from prison again. I definitively prefer people who never did drugs to people who had to get interventions and became ok again. And I think cheating is very wrong, you can also get various diseases from cheating partners and I consider that a big "NO". The clueless wifes and girlfriends who are exposed to various dangerous STDs or HPV viruses from cheating partners, aside from the obvious emotional damage, that is something unforgivable and no woman ever would like to be voluntarily exposed to that. (same for men) The cheater is basically making all the choices for both alone. Had their partner known, they probably wouldn't spend their life-time on a relationship with a cheater nor would they take the risk of STDs, yet they were robbed of this choice. I wouldn't be a friend with a cheater. I would be uncomfortable with such person all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallows 9,902 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 They do, and so do a lot of other things that people do. I'm not defending cheating, I'm just questioning general morals. You can break up with someone for whatever reason. You don't gotta stay with a person. Justifiable reason or not. I just don't really get the social stigma of this "sin" compared to other "sins". It's kinda like how it's ok to eat chicken, but people freak out if you say you eat dog. I don't think I'd personally keep hanging around a person who consistently slept with someone else behind their SOs back, but maybe if it was one time and they owned up to the mistake. Because you are basically doing all the bad things when you cheat. Your hurt a person you are supposed to love. You cheat and betray them. You lie to them. You kill them inside. You steal their time and efforts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
˹AS˼ 3,610 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Who r u Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spilledmilk 1,857 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Because you are basically doing all the bad things when you cheat. Your hurt a person you are supposed to love. You cheat and betray them. You lie to them. You kill them inside. You steal their time and efforts. Yea maybe you're right. The culmination of all those is worse than just one at a time. But if a person is in a bad place and they start making bad choices, are they not ever able to redeem themselves? Are they now forever labeled as a bad person for their mistakes? I don't think the majority of the people who cheat intend to do it from the beginning. Maybe they feel lonely in the relationship or maybe they work a job where temptation is high all the time (hurr). It doesn't change the fact that they have hurt someone and are not entitled to that person's forgiveness, but does that mean they're cancelled? I'm not sure. But yeah some people just suck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hizu 6,869 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 My best friend cheated on her boyfriend once, but their relationship was already ending, they broke up a week after that. She had told him right after and he even forgave her, but it was already over, so it's not something I really blame or judge her for too much. It's wrong to cheat on people, and I have to say I'd feel uncomfortable if my friends cheated on their partners, even though it's not really my business, because it says a lot about what kind of person you are. However, I think friendship and romantic relationships are completely different, and I would still be friends with cheaters. I'd see them in a different light, but I'd still be friends with them. When people say "once a cheater always a cheater" it's probably because once you cheat once, it's easier to do it a second time. It's like a slap. If your partner slaps you once, you can bet they'd slap again, because the second time comes a lot easier, you already overstepped that limit, you already did it once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forgottenly 1,881 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I'm not friends with a cheater...(cuz I have no friends lmao), but why do people treat cheating as the worst thing a person could ever do in their lifetime? Maybe the topic of morality is too much for a kpop forum, but...we even have phrases like "once a cheater, always a cheater". People apparently can come back from drug additions...from being a thief, a liar etc, but if they kiss a girl while dating another girl they're forever the worst person ever?? People make mistakes and hurt others all the time, in various ways. You are not obligated to forgive someone who has hurt you, but why is forgiving a cheater shamed so much?? Cheating destroyed my family. My dad cheated on my mom and it started a huge chain of events that led to an attempted kidnapping, an enormous amount of debt, losing touch with all of my extended family, my old church turning into a cult, and mental illness all around. It's been nine years and we still haven't recovered. But sure let's forgive him because he's probably changed by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spilledmilk 1,857 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Cheating destroyed my family. My dad cheated on my mom and it started a huge chain of events that led to an attempted kidnapping, an enormous amount of debt, losing touch with all of my extended family, my old church turning into a cult, and mental illness all around. It's been nine years and we still haven't recovered. But sure let's forgive him because he's probably changed by now. I'm sorry that happened but...that isn't typically what happens after someone cheats so that's not really related to what I was saying. If you want to twist my words into "You suck if you don't forgive cheaters they didn't really do anything wrong" then have fun I guess. As I said in the post you apparently read "You are not obligated to forgive someone who has hurt you"" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallows 9,902 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Yea maybe you're right. The culmination of all those is worse than just one at a time. But if a person is in a bad place and they start making bad choices, are they not ever able to redeem themselves? Are they now forever labeled as a bad person for their mistakes? I don't think the majority of the people who cheat intend to do it from the beginning. Maybe they feel lonely in the relationship or maybe they work a job where temptation is high all the time (hurr). It doesn't change the fact that they have hurt someone and are not entitled to that person's forgiveness, but does that mean they're cancelled? I'm not sure. But yeah some people just suck Yes people can forgive them but can they forget ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spilledmilk 1,857 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Yes people can forgive them but can they forget ? Yea... It is true that many of our actions will leave permanent damage to our character...such is life I guess. Kinda sad. Those cheaters may live and die with their regrets, and it may(probably will) affect the level of trust in any future relationship. I guess they brought it on themselves... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallows 9,902 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Yea... It is true that many of our actions will leave permanent damage to our character...such is life I guess. Kinda sad. Those cheaters may live and die with their regrets, and it may(probably will) affect the level of trust in any future relationship. I guess they brought it on themselves...I guess both sides will feel damage after all. Just be honest. Honesty is the solution to everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchkiss 1,888 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 lmao Why wouldn't I be friends with someone who cheats ? Sometimes I encourage my friends to cheat, some of their boyfriends were assholes and some of my girls have very low self steem so they weren't capable of end things up. So I organized a party and the magic happened... Anyway to cheat is not a big deal for me. I have done it a lot of times. Sent from my iPhone using OneHallyu mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchkiss 1,888 Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Yea... It is true that many of our actions will leave permanent damage to our character...such is life I guess. Kinda sad. Those cheaters may live and die with their regrets, and it may(probably will) affect the level of trust in any future relationship. I guess they brought it on themselves...For me it's kind of the opposite. I'm like the less jealous person on earth. And I used to cheat a lot... Sent from my iPhone using OneHallyu mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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