lolski 841 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 so there is this guy who gave a lot of hints that he kinda liked me, and its been like 1-2 years that he showed interest in me, and since then i've developed also some kind of crush for him but im sooooo shy that i never could bring myself to talk back to him. I do hang around with other guys and im totally myself and social but once i have a romantic interest in a guy i can't act like my normal self. I just can't say anything that i normally would say and if our eyes meet i immediately turn somewhere else. So back to this guy, he finally just called me one day and said that we should do something fun with his friend and my (girl)friend. Basically a double date but he didn't mention it like that. Anyway he said to discuss it with my friend what we wanna do and that i should call or text him then. Thats when my shyness and cowardness ruined it again for me. Because i was too shy to go to a double date i just planned a group outing with his friends and mine, ruining the chances to easily get closer to each other. After we hang out with the group i didn't get closer to him, only with his friends and he with mine. He talked more to my female friends than to me, especially to this really outgoing friend of mine. So now they are closer and are talking privately to each other and he picked her up from a party yesterday and they went for a drive together, the thing that i imagined doing with him if we got closer . The girl is one of my best friends and after their drive she called me and said how of a nice and funny guy he is and blablabla . I felt kinda jealous but i was even more angry at myself for not taking the chances that i got. My friend by the way doesn't know i also had a interest in him because i always acted like i didn't care. Anyway can you all give me some feedback on this and just some tips on not to be shy and how to be more open to guys. I am a college student and never had a boyfriend or any romantic experience, because i just always run from getting closer to guys and now i really want to change because im getting older and i do want to experience things. I'm just so fed up with myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sana Minatozaki 3,305 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 pretend he's one of your girl friends and maybe that's gonna help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chae(forever)young 782 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Have you tried wearing sunglasses? You might feel a bit more confident because you won't be able to see him that well plus you'll look cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mei Matsumoto 2,562 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Dress up for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarShapedGummy 11,380 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 find out through one of your gfs who have no problem speaking with him about an event or activity he is interested in the future and join that... rinse and repeat...until by golly, you end up close through the activity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ember 8,327 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 I think it'll be good for you to go on a double date. You'll definitely have no choice but to talk then; and his attention won't be diverted either. I'm not sure what makes you confident but maybe you could dress up more than usual (given you don't already); change-up your makeup and hair, and like another user said, sunglasses could help. Good luck! Hope it isn't too late for you, you can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ros 2,223 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Force yourself to be in situations where you have no choice but to talk to people i.e. get a part time job in customer service, tuition etc. I used to be really introverted around unfamiliar people but ever since I got a job, I found it so much easier to start a conversation. It was pretty bad.. My voice would crack and I would avoid all eye contact when talking to someone I didn't know If you force yourself into those situations where you have no choice but to talk, you'll eventually get used to initiating and maintaining conversations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 This goes beyond just being shy as you're literally sabotaging yourself, because one thing is getting nervous around him and not being able to talk but to mess up that big of an opportunity and basically set up this guy for another girl can't be labeled as being shy. I don't know if you have confidence issues, or are insecure about yourself, because more than being shy you have been actively avoiding to get close to this guy and at this rate he's gonna lose any interest in you (if he still has some), because what you did was to sabotage his attempt to get a double date and get close with you; I can imagine how frustrating it must be for him so no wonder things went up that way. At this point you just need to force yourself to have conversations with him, maybe try to communicate via text first as that should be easier and when you feel like it try asking him out this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xRibbonsx 1,804 Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 don't think they're more special than you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolski 841 Posted June 11, 2017 Author Share Posted June 11, 2017 This goes beyond just being shy as you're literally sabotaging yourself, because one thing is getting nervous around him and not being able to talk but to mess up that big of an opportunity and basically set up this guy for another girl can't be labeled as being shy. I don't know if you have confidence issues, or are insecure about yourself, because more than being shy you have been actively avoiding to get close to this guy and at this rate he's gonna lose any interest in you (if he still has some), because what you did was to sabotage his attempt to get a double date and get close with you; I can imagine how frustrating it must be for him so no wonder things went up that way. At this point you just need to force yourself to have conversations with him, maybe try to communicate via text first as that should be easier and when you feel like it try asking him out this time. You're right about sabotaging myself, i really need to get my confidence back i've just been through some things this year which caused me to think really lowly of myself. Thanks for you feedback, now i think about it he really did try his best to get close Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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