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How to you overcome a big disappointment ?


sansansangou

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Who said effort will never fail you : I worked so hard for over a year to pass a very important exam for the second time and I failed, my classmates who always party and have fun succeeded and I feel so frustrated and disappointed in myself right now.....
 

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Stop listening to Behind The Scenes

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I was in the same position as you are a year ago. I was preparing so hard to take a test for a scholarship to study abroad that I also failed twice to win, only to see some other people getting the same scholarship like it was nothing ... And I'm pretty sure I worked at least twice much than them ... Sigh.

I can't give you an answer to your question because I don't know it myself, but let's stay focused on our dreams and keep on fighting. We may not see it right now, but hard work always win in the end.

G7UWo.gif

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Stop listening to Behind The Scenes

I'm trying to block negative thoughts away but I just can't, I was waiting for the result I tried to reassure myself before and I told myself that , even  if it doesn't work this time it's ok, you'll try next time, but when the result was out, I had an existential crisis and I couldn't process reality. This is the second time I sit for the same exam and I tried to learn from the first time , I worked so hard for a very long time , over a year or so , day and night, and I couldn't do it still.... This is the dream of my life and I feel like I will never be able to reach it . I've done everything I could...

I don't like to compare myself to others but sometimes I can't help but do it : My classmates didn't even work half as hard and they had the time of their life partying and going out, when I was reassuring myself the whole time that I will make it in the end and I'll have enough time to enjoy myself then.

But the complete opposite happened for the second time and now I'm devastated to say the least.

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I was in the same position as you are a year ago. I was preparing so hard to take a test for a scholarship to study abroad that I also failed twice to win, only to see some other people getting the same scholarship like it was nothing ... And I'm pretty sure I worked at least twice much than them ... Sigh.

 

I can't give you an answer to your question because I don't know it myself, but let's stay focused on our dreams and keep on fighting. We may not see it right now, but hard work always win in the end.

G7UWo.gif

I feel like giving up on my career once and for all. I'm already tired and I tried everything I could . Sometimes working so hard will only make you feel worse, I tell myself sometimes that, if I didn't even work that hard, may be I wouldn't have been so disappointed. If I enjoyed myself to the fullest and then failed it wouldn't have hurt as much.

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I feel like giving up on my career once and for all. I'm already tired and I tried everything I could . Sometimes working so hard will only make you feel worse, I tell myself sometimes that, if I didn't even work that hard, may be I wouldn't have been so disappointed. If I enjoyed myself to the fullest and then failed it wouldn't have hurt as much.

I agree with bolded part, but if this is something really important to you, you shouldn't give up even when it's hard. Life isn't all about flowers and unicorns and we all get disappointed at some point. yes, shit happens and it sucks. quitting is the easiest thing to do, but quitting will make you even more disappointed in yourself eventually.

 

Do you really want to work in a field you've chosen as your major?

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but quitting will make you even more disappointed in yourself eventually.

 

Do you really want to work in a field you've chosen as your major?

Sometimes , I feel like quitting is may be the most brave decision I can ever do because it's been my dream ever since I was a child to work in this field and I refuse to accept that I failed in achieving my dream. But it is harder than I could ever handle because I've done more than I could but still....

Now, I don't know what to fee, as much I loved it before now I hate it so much because it caused me a lot of mental and emotional exhaustion . I feel like I'm wasting my life away because of my dream

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I agree with bolded part, but if this is something really important to you, you shouldn't give up even when it's hard. Life isn't all about flowers and unicorns and we all get disappointed at some point. yes, shit happens and it sucks. quitting is the easiest thing to do, but quitting will make you even more disappointed in yourself eventually.

 

Do you really want to work in a field you've chosen as your major?

but is it ok to keep insisting in smt that u're very confused if u want it or not?

I'm thinking about your qn, prob no for me, but I must get my degree anw. Exam is coming and I become even more displeased w my course 

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but quitting will make you even more disappointed in yourself eventually.

 

Do you really want to work in a field you've chosen as your major?

Sometimes , I feel like quitting is may be the most brave decision I can ever do because it's been my dream ever since I was a child to work in this field and I refuse to accept that I failed in achieving my dream. But it is harder than I could ever handle because I've done more than I could but still....

Now, I don't know what to fee, as much I loved it before now I hate it so much because it caused me a lot of mental and emotional exhaustion . I feel like I'm wasting my life away because of my dream

 

That's understandable. Take a look at your past works and see if you can view the newest one more positively. Did you improve in any aspects?

I did every thing I could to improve the way I review for my exams so that it'd be more efficient, but it seems that , when I sit for it, I mean, when the paper is already before my eyes, I make the worst decisions, it's not that I'm stressed or something, I'm usually very prepared mentally and physically and when I fill in the answers I feel like I'm doing the right thing and that I'm on the right path, but when the result is out, I find that I diverted from the right answer and just answered it wrong . I'm not aware when I make the mistake that's what it makes it impossible to avoid.

To make it easier for you to understand  : In my field , the exam consists in writing a dissertation , you have a subject and you're supposed to develop an approach. There is a certain methodology to follow in writing your essay and you're supposed to talk about things related to that subject in a methodological way and analyse the question . So when I'm writing , I feel like my approach is right and my analysis is logical, but the professor who corrects it seems to always have a totally different perspective from mine and I end up failing . I don't have access to the professor because it's a national exam , the correctors are anonymous . What is left is asking people who passed what was their approach, and it's always something I didn't think about , it makes me frustrated to the core.

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wow I'm in same situation (it's just my 2nd time is coming in a week and I'm very confused...)

Still bitter w what happened, don't know how to get over it.

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I'm currently in a slump myself as I had just failed my major assignment

 

All the best of luck to the two of us

Good luck , I honestly don't know if I will be able to accept it and sit for the same exam again....I'm really, REALLY , that disappointed and angry

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i get super drunk then i dance it all out, cry . i am in bed for 2 days cuz of hangover and start again

 

life is too short to be too long sad.

 

if its only exam, be smart and ask your friends that passed how did they approach that subject and what they wrote. im not saying to re-create what they wrote but even if you dont mean it, write how they wrote. follow their pattern.

or be super stubborn person and keep writing and writing with your own method.

since you are struggling and feeling dissapointed i suggest you to choose the first option.

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Sometimes , I feel like quitting is may be the most brave decision I can ever do because it's been my dream ever since I was a child to work in this field and I refuse to accept that I failed in achieving my dream. But it is harder than I could ever handle because I've done more than I could but still....

Now, I don't know what to fee, as much I loved it before now I hate it so much because it caused me a lot of mental and emotional exhaustion . I feel like I'm wasting my life away because of my dream

Do you really think you'd be happy if you just quit? Like, imagine you're in your 70s, almost at the end of your life looking back at this situation you're in now. Would you say "Oh, I was so glad I dumped that stupid college, that was the best decision of my life!"? This is something I usually do when I have doubts if I'm moving in the right direction.

 

 

To make it easier for you to understand  : In my field , the exam consists in writing a dissertation , you have a subject and you're supposed to develop an approach. There is a certain methodology to follow in writing your essay and you're supposed to talk about things related to that subject in a methodological way and analyse the question . So when I'm writing , I feel like my approach is right and my analysis is logical, but the professor who corrects it seems to always have a totally different perspective from mine and I end up failing . I don't have access to the professor because it's a national exam , the correctors are anonymous . What is left is asking people who passed what was their approach, and it's always something I didn't think about , it makes me frustrated to the core.

 

Do you have a professor in your uni that can help you see where exactly your mistakes were? The correctors might be anonymous, but you surely have a teacher in your uni that teaches you methodology.

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i get super drunk then i dance it all out, cry . i am in bed for 2 days cuz of hangover and start again

 

life is too short to be too long sad.

 

if its only exam, be smart and ask your friends that passed how did they approach that subject and what they wrote. im not saying to re-create what they wrote but even if you dont mean it, write how they wrote. follow their pattern.

or be super stubborn person and keep writing and writing with your own method.

since you are struggling and feeling dissapointed i suggest you to choose the first option.

Thank you for the advise , I really appreciate your concern .

People who passed always be like : I didn't study that much really, I just understood it. 

They like to sound smart and make you feel bad about yourself and I always end up feeling worse, like , am I really that stupid? 

 

I asked them , they wrote a total different approach from mine but they committed mistakes they themselves admitted but they were minor I guess....

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Do you really think you'd be happy if you just quit? Like, imagine you're in your 70s, almost at the end of your life looking back at this situation you're in now. Would you say "Oh, I was so glad I dumped that stupid college, that was the best decision of my life!"? This is something I usually do when I have doubts if I'm moving in the right direction.

 

Do you have a professor in your uni that can help you see where exactly your mistakes were? The correctors might be anonymous, but you surely have a teacher in your uni that teaches you methodology.

My mistake is not in methodology, it's the approach itself. The correctors opt for different approaches than mine because mine is always "not logical" enough for the subject. The problem is that I only understand my mistake after not before I sit for the exam. Due to the large amount of material , I try to answer as much subjects as I could but for two times now, the subjects are unexpected , that's why when I write, I don't have a previous idea about how the subject should be treated. I just write what I think is the right approach at the moment. 

 

Thank you for the tip, it's really interesting, 

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