fluidninja96 241 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 TLDR: i have a crush on a boy i don't know super well, but get super shy when it comes to boys i'm interested in. if you have any advice I'd be glad to hear it (: story time: there is a guy at my college I've noticed since last semester. he's super super sweet, cute, musically talented and athletic (so we have a lot of similar interests). he's a barista in one of our coffee shops on campus. we know of each other and have talked a couple times but that's it. I go to a pretty small school so it's normal to see him in passing or around campus. edit: forgot to say that there are lots of girls that crush on him. . . he's pretty popular. so in that way I just feel lame, like I'm just another girl crushing on him so I feel kinda hopeless. i'm pretty reserved, but not to an extreme and like to think I'm a nice and friendly person. anyway, when it comes to guys I'm potentially interested in or think are attractive, I can't do ANYTHING. I do the opposite of what someone interested in someone else should do, sometimes it would even seem like i'm ignoring them. I get super nervous and shy. I can't even look them in the face, can't talk to them. (i'm lucky if I say hi when passing ugh). i just want to get to know him better. but don't know how)): I haven't told any of my friends about this so maybe they'd help me if I told them (my roommate is dating one of my crush's friends). sigh </3 sometimes I wish i could be the kind of girl that gets to know guys easily, has guy friends, etc. I'm happy and complete being single, but I just wish I could be more outgoing (and with guys) in general. please give input if you have any(: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyfool 1,453 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 :o this is hard do you guys share any classes? or other interests? you said he's athletic, does he go to the gym? u can try going to the gym together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluidninja96 241 Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 :o this is hard do you guys share any classes? or other interests? you said he's athletic, does he go to the gym? u can try going to the gym together nope, totally different majors and we're both in our 3rd year so no gen eds left for us to take lol. yeah he's athletic, plays like all the intramurals ever (so do i). he plays on our ultimate frisbee team, I play on the soccer team. I see him in the gym a lot when my team is doing workouts in there at the same time! i'm also musical (play the piano and sing). the similar interests is another reason I'm attracted to him haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyfool 1,453 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 nope, totally different majors and we're both in our 3rd year so no gen eds left for us to take lol. yeah he's athletic, plays like all the intramurals ever (so do i). he plays on our ultimate frisbee team, I play on the soccer team. I see him in the gym a lot when my team is doing workouts in there at the same time! i'm also musical (play the piano and sing). the similar interests is another reason I'm attracted to him haha do you have his number? if u get his number then u can use that to get to know him by texting him! orrr maybe u have tv shows u both like? or have u been in any plays at ur school? since ur both musically inclined :o Sorry this is hard for me cuz all the guys ive liked have played videogames and I usually use that as my way to slip in lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ethereal 20,923 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 the only answer is to overcome the shyness. personally speaking i'm also shy in general. but for me, once i get a little comfy with someone, talking to them becomes so easy. try to eat lunch with him or something if that's possible. sit next to him in the library if that's possible. like, just sit next to him and start up small talk. put yourself out there because you honestly have nothing to loose. you'll never grow if you don't step outside your comfort zone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I think you can do it and in your situation it shouldn't be that hard, even for you. You both go to the same college, which you said it's a small one so you constantly stumble on to him, etc. So from this you have plenty of opportunities to start small conversations with him. Even if your too shy you can just say hi to him whenever you see him, it might not be a big deal but if you this constantly whenever you can I'm sure he will start to see you as a nice girl and would and would feel more encouraged to talk to you; at the same time you should be feeling more comfortable around him. So just start with that, smiling, saying hi, small chat, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T O K K I 25 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 You need to talk to him or ideally have him approach you (not guaranteed obviously). Make yourself "available" in the sense that you both are in close proximity to start a conversation. When you approach him - segway from formalities to obvious interests like you both being athletically inclined. Talk about that, small talk etc. A guy with experience can tell when a girl is interested in them, so he may pursue you instead. All else fails, be straightforward. Give it a try Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluidninja96 241 Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 do you have his number? if u get his number then u can use that to get to know him by texting him! orrr maybe u have tv shows u both like? or have u been in any plays at ur school? since ur both musically inclined :o Sorry this is hard for me cuz all the guys ive liked have played videogames and I usually use that as my way to slip in lol nope i don't have his #. we follow each other/are friends on social media though. i think i'm going to confess to my roommate about my crush and see what she suggests(: cause with my shyness i need help XD the only answer is to overcome the shyness. personally speaking i'm also shy in general. but for me, once i get a little comfy with someone, talking to them becomes so easy. try to eat lunch with him or something if that's possible. sit next to him in the library if that's possible. like, just sit next to him and start up small talk. put yourself out there because you honestly have nothing to loose. you'll never grow if you don't step outside your comfort zone. I think you can do it and in your situation it shouldn't be that hard, even for you. You both go to the same college, which you said it's a small one so you constantly stumble on to him, etc. So from this you have plenty of opportunities to start small conversations with him. Even if your too shy you can just say hi to him whenever you see him, it might not be a big deal but if you this constantly whenever you can I'm sure he will start to see you as a nice girl and would and would feel more encouraged to talk to you; at the same time you should be feeling more comfortable around him. So just start with that, smiling, saying hi, small chat, etc. thank you very much to you both for the advice <3 <3 you're both right. I. AM. GOING. TO TRY. And i will make myself talk to him. it's not even like he's scary he's so nice lol so I just need to get over it You need to talk to him or ideally have him approach you (not guaranteed obviously). Make yourself "available" in the sense that you both are in close proximity to start a conversation. When you approach him - segway from formalities to obvious interests like you both being athletically inclined. Talk about that, small talk etc. A guy with experience can tell when a girl is interested in them, so he may pursue you instead. All else fails, be straightforward. Give it a try yeah i think he doesn't realize how great he is, so he's not as confident/upfront with girls. he hasn't dated anyone the 3 years we've been at uni and he's not super experienced. i think you're right though, I don't want to be too much because 1.) i'm not like that 2.) i would stop if it was just me trying and nothing happening. i need the guy to be the one pursuing to some extent and ok thankyou(: i will do my best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyfool 1,453 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Good Luck!!! Sorry I was so unhelpful lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluidninja96 241 Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 Good Luck!!! Sorry I was so unhelpful lol but you weren't!! (: i appreciate your advice <3 thank you! i'll update if anything happens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miharudesu 1,916 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I AM SO LATE FOR THIS BUT HERE GOES It's easy to say just go and overcome shyness but to actually conquer it is like climbing a mountain. It makes you second-guess yourself every single time. Everyone gave you some really good advice though, so I hope they work and you get a chance to talk to him. If you are unsure how to do it or you are still trying to gather enough confidence to start a conversation, I would suggest start small? Like smiling when you pass by each other or saying hi? how are you? Just really simple niceties. It doesn't seem like much but it will get him to notice you and he might notice that you both do some things together. Since you both have plenty of similar interests, there are tons of conversation material right there. The only problem is how to start those conversations naturally, which will happen eventually I think. I think you can also tell your roommate and she could be the bridge you need to get to know him. Good luck and BE CONFIDENT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluidninja96 241 Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 I AM SO LATE FOR THIS BUT HERE GOES It's easy to say just go and overcome shyness but to actually conquer it is like climbing a mountain. It makes you second-guess yourself every single time. Everyone gave you some really good advice though, so I hope they work and you get a chance to talk to him. If you are unsure how to do it or you are still trying to gather enough confidence to start a conversation, I would suggest start small? Like smiling when you pass by each other or saying hi? how are you? Just really simple niceties. It doesn't seem like much but it will get him to notice you and he might notice that you both do some things together. Since you both have plenty of similar interests, there are tons of conversation material right there. The only problem is how to start those conversations naturally, which will happen eventually I think. I think you can also tell your roommate and she could be the bridge you need to get to know him. Good luck and BE CONFIDENT! THANK YOU FRIEND <3 and thank you for recognizing shyness isn't so easy to just get over lol i struggle with it so bad XD i'll start small and try working on it from there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miharudesu 1,916 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 THANK YOU FRIEND <3 and thank you for recognizing shyness isn't so easy to just get over lol i struggle with it so bad XD i'll start small and try working on it from there YOU'RE WELCOME! and if it helps, I also suffer from shyness and a bad case of tongue-tying in front of my crushes. I had a really major one with one guy and I made my move by finding an excuse to borrow his school book because I don't have one (I did) and it was a matter of great importance (it wasn't). I cringe now everytime I think about it but we became really close afterwards and had a reason to talk, lol. So maybe borrow something sport-related, ask for a piece of advice, or maybe even music related? you can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annafyre 263 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Ok. This what you should do, either confess to him online or write that you like him in a piece of paper and give it to him. Or, ask one of your friends to tell him you like him. The choice is yours, I personally recommend the first or the second one however. Just try not to come off too strong or clingy. Keep a bit of restraint and only tell him what you have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluidninja96 241 Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 YOU'RE WELCOME! and if it helps, I also suffer from shyness and a bad case of tongue-tying in front of my crushes. I had a really major one with one guy and I made my move by finding an excuse to borrow his school book because I don't have one (I did) and it was a matter of great importance (it wasn't). I cringe now everytime I think about it but we became really close afterwards and had a reason to talk, lol. So maybe borrow something sport-related, ask for a piece of advice, or maybe even music related? you can do it! yeah maybe i could go to the coffee shop when he happens to working, go order something and start a conversation from there~ hehe. thank you for all your advice <3 it means a lot Ok. This what you should do, either confess to him online or write that you like him in a piece of paper and give it to him. Or, ask one of your friends to tell him you like him. The choice is yours, I personally recommend the first or the second one however. Just try not to come off too strong or clingy. Keep a bit of restraint and only tell him what you have to. i think if i get to a point where I feel like I can do that, it'd be in person or maybe give him a short note. right now i'd just like to get to know him at the very least~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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