Are relationships taken too lightly today?

[byunnie]

A long rant and backstory of the question ahead. 

 

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So, we were discussing several problems last week like missing our families when my dorm neighbor at university suddenly told me she's jealous that I have a boyfriend and said she wants one. She told me I'm too lucky because he's handsome and rich and intelligent as they're apparently classmates in two courses. Yeah, like he's not lucky to have me i'm pretty too imo and i kinda rich i guess and i have high grades too. And that he always visits me to give me food or help me with everything, no, I'm not referring to the dirty. My mind is already having red alert when she praises him so well like he's a perfect human being and my mind registers it as she's observing him too much, girl, stay away back off. She continues ranting that most of her friends are taken already and she feels left out because she's single. Take note that she just broke up with a guy last month. And she proceeds on telling me about guys she dated in the past and her longest relationship is about half a year. Everytime she talks about it, my mind interprets it that she needs a boyfriend because everyone around her is in a relationship and she feels left out. I understand that she may feel lonely because her friends leave her to hang out with their partners but it's not enough reason to find a relationship. Maybe I'm too judgmental or too romantic or something but for me, relationships should be valued. And it should be created as mutual love as its foundation. It might not be written in papers or documents but it's still a commitment. It's not for playing and should not be taken lightly.

 

 

It's not my first time encountering someone who's in a relationship because of various reasons. Heck, when I was in fifth grade, a classmate of mine has a boyfriend already that's a sixth grader and everyone looks up to her because of that like it's a cool thing and I just cringe everytime she tells everyone that they text each other every night and I remember her showing me his text saying '143' and them planning their one week celebration of relationship by shopping at the nearby convinience store together. I still cringe writing this. And one time in junior high, my classmates were comparing the number of relationships they had like they deserve an award with getting the highest number. Like whyyy. And in high school, my best friend suddenly got together with a boy she just met and tried to make me keep quiet about it to her parents. I asked her if she's not proud of him because she keeps a secret though everyone in school knew. She just told me that it's because it's not serious. Why would you get in a relationship with someone when you're not serious tho? And my guy ex-bestfriend here in uni was in a relationship with a girl because she's popular. The fuck.

 

 

 

What's your opinion about relationships tho??

 

[25%Cotton]

most relationships i've been in, the other dude is like "RELATIONSHIIIIIIPPPPPP"

and i'm like "uh............. i don't know yet"

 

i don't know if that's too light or not but it feels too heavy. 

i'd rather just be alone if you're gonna come on so hard from the beginning.

[Jcey]

Answer is Yes in general.

[PurachinaDisuko]

I think it depends on the people involved really. Highschoolers tend to not take relationships seriously. By the time people hit college, I think some get serious because they're looking for a life partner.

[GalaxunnieSuperOppa]

Agreed. I understand everyone wants to be loved...but rushing into a relationship because everyone else around you makes you feel lonely is taking it too lightly. Relationships are serious things-it's an honest commitment between two people. I'm enjoying being single right now-it's honestly kind of liberating. If you love yourself a little more, you probably won't feel as desperate to be loved. 

[Jazzer]

everyone is hump'em and dump'em these days

[alive]

relationship is a very serious thing for me tbh. i agree that relationship is something to be valued, something you get into when you're ready, not because you feel lonely. there are so many people around me who got into relationship just because of the sake of being in one, not because they genuinely like their partner, and it's honestly very off-putting for me.

[Qiu]

i think relationships have different values and functions at different milestones in life

[Sica-tiful]

I would say yes because there's too much evidence for that but I have a friend who has recently got a boyfriend. She tells me stories of her and him, and how they continue to become each other's strengths (as cheesy this may sound, this is true--- and I've met the dude many times. Very decent guy).

 

With the effort they both bring in (they're both smart students, and achievers-- having each other only fueled them more to study more and become effective with time management) to their relationships, I can say that they did not take their relationship very lightly. They valued each other enought to raise their grades even higher despite the common notion that significant others can distract you from your studies to prove to each other's parents that they're not being dragged down, or distracted. That is genuine effort.

 

I think there are still a lot of people who take relationships not lightly. Yet it seems not so because the people who often get heard are those who take them lightly.

[hiraishrimp]

ive noticed it's harder to get into relationships nowadays because everyone's more into being independent or having flings

[Oli London]

No.

[Suzy Quatro]

Yeah, I completely agree with you as I feel the exact same but sadly that's just the way things are for most people. Being in a relationship grants you certain status and people also tend to you judge based on that; like in your case by having a handsome and rich guy they would label you as someone lucky but if you were on your own they could go as far as labeling you as a loser.

 

In the case of your friend it seems she only values herself on her ability to get a boys attention and being in a relationship and it's a pretty shallow way of thinking mind you. At some point it's normal to feel a bit depressed if the person you like doesn't notice you or not having good luck with love and relationships but the way of thinking of many just makes things worst by putting so much emphasis onto it to the point of people thinking there's something wrong with them if they aren't in a relationship just for the sake of it.

 

There's a lot of people feeling depressed about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend and in those cases I like to ask them if they actually like someone or just feel bad because everyone is in a relationship except from them.

[Honeystan]

I think too many people go into 'relationships' where each person has a different idea of what a relationship really is. Or before determining what their relationship is.