How do you handle being close friends with two former best friends??

[totally-seopies]

I don't have many friends, I tend to like to keep only a few close friends. So right now I'm only close to like 3 people.

 

I'll call my best friend "G" and I'll call my close friend/roommate "M". Theres also another person who is a part of our usual friend unit but she's literally uninvolved in this situation completely.

 

Okay so ever since we all became friends (way back in freshman year) I've always been super close to G because we lived in the rooms right across from each other in our dorm and our interests and humor mesh really well. And M lived right down the hall from us and I shared a class with her so we ended up becoming friends with her too. 

 

G and M became friends because they shared a lot of CS courses and always did their work together and they became really close. M has always been closer to G than she's ever been with me. 

 

I wrote out the entire story but it was just too long. Essentially, for more than 2 years M has been guilt tripping G for not spending every moment with her ever. And she eventually confessed to being in love with G. Unfortunately G does not reciprocate those feelings and just loves her platonically.

 

Later, G started dating a guy but also ended up sacrificing spending time with him or even me to spend time with M because she felt guilty for liking someone else. M treated the guy really badly despite never even meeting him even though the guy wanted to meet her to help the situation out. It made everyone uncomfortable.

 

When G finally tried to talk to M about her being in a relationship and how M treating the guy with so much disrespect (like glaring at him if she ever saw him) was wrong and M got really angry. M told G that she felt that G was emotionally abusing her and her description of the emotional abuse was literally just that she didnt return her romantic feelings and kept threatening to end the friendship. 

 

G felt like she literally couldn't be happy while trying to be friends with M anymore and that it was unhealthy for M too she she actually decided to end the friendship, which after threatening it during the argument M didn't want to actually do. 

 

So now they aren't friends at all. 

And M is really sad about it and I know she's not even going to try and get over it she's just going to continue being sad about it. 

 

And when it happened and they told everyone, all of our other friends thought "Oh so G broke off the friendship with M over a boy" and I'm the single person who actually knows that their problems started way before G even met the guy. But now G is going to have to deal with everyone thinking she abandoned M now. 

 

And Im stuck in the middle. G is my best friend and I want to spend more time with her, especially since she spent all of last semester spending time with M to make sure M didn't get upset. But its gonna be hard now because she can't come over to my apartment (that I share with M) anymore. At the same time M is still my friend so I'm going to have to spend the entire rest of the semester cheering her up and I feel obligated to live in an apartment with her again next year because we already started looking and I don't want to abandon her. 

 

The rest of my undergrad social life is going to be so weird now ugh. 

What would you do if you were in this situation?? I've been keeping neutral because its none of my business and just trying to support both of them, but also its going to be so weird and difficult to split my time between them.

[SugaJam]

TLDR;

 

my advice, go make new friends. Join club, talk to someone new in class. People are complicate and confusing in college. Dont spend too much brain cells over stuff like this and focus that on your study instead, you will need it. 

 

Honestly it feel like the world right now, but when you graduated and go into the real world, these people might not even be there anymore. 

[chaebaby]

I don't have many friends, I tend to like to keep only a few close friends. So right now I'm only close to like 3 people.

 

I'll call my best friend "G" and I'll call my close friend/roommate "M". Theres also another person who is a part of our usual friend unit but she's literally uninvolved in this situation completely.

 

Okay so ever since we all became friends (way back in freshman year) I've always been super close to G because we lived in the rooms right across from each other in our dorm and our interests and humor mesh really well. And M lived right down the hall from us and I shared a class with her so we ended up becoming friends with her too. 

 

G and M became friends because they shared a lot of CS courses and always did their work together and they became really close. M has always been closer to G than she's ever been with me. 

 

I wrote out the entire story but it was just too long. Essentially, for more than 2 years M has been guilt tripping G for not spending every moment with her ever. And she eventually confessed to being in love with G. Unfortunately G does not reciprocate those feelings and just loves her platonically.

 

Later, G started dating a guy but also ended up sacrificing spending time with him or even me to spend time with M because she felt guilty for liking someone else. M treated the guy really badly despite never even meeting him even though the guy wanted to meet her to help the situation out. It made everyone uncomfortable.

 

When G finally tried to talk to M about her being in a relationship and how M treating the guy with so much disrespect (like glaring at him if she ever saw him) was wrong and M got really angry. M told G that she felt that G was emotionally abusing her and her description of the emotional abuse was literally just that she didnt return her romantic feelings and kept threatening to end the friendship. 

 

G felt like she literally couldn't be happy while trying to be friends with M anymore and that it was unhealthy for M too she she actually decided to end the friendship, which after threatening it during the argument M didn't want to actually do. 

 

So now they aren't friends at all. 

And M is really sad about it and I know she's not even going to try and get over it she's just going to continue being sad about it. 

 

And when it happened and they told everyone, all of our other friends thought "Oh so G broke off the friendship with M over a boy" and I'm the single person who actually knows that their problems started way before G even met the guy. But now G is going to have to deal with everyone thinking she abandoned M now. 

 

And Im stuck in the middle. G is my best friend and I want to spend more time with her, especially since she spent all of last semester spending time with M to make sure M didn't get upset. But its gonna be hard now because she can't come over to my apartment (that I share with M) anymore. At the same time M is still my friend so I'm going to have to spend the entire rest of the semester cheering her up and I feel obligated to live in an apartment with her again next year because we already started looking and I don't want to abandon her. 

 

The rest of my undergrad social life is going to be so weird now ugh. 

What would you do if you were in this situation?? I've been keeping neutral because its none of my business and just trying to support both of them, but also its going to be so weird and difficult to split my time between them.

drop M I don't like selfish bitches. She doesn't own G. I hope you tried reasoning with her and if it didn't work cut her off. You're best friend is G. 

 

Find new friends and surround yourself.