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How do you deal with difficult family members?


sungjins

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My mom and my younger sister, in particular are both always pointing fingers at me for everything. I can literally be silent and they will ask why I'm being silent. Yet they expect me to be the bigger person and resolve everything when they aren't getting on. I'm almost 20 and leaving home this year (thankfully) but I don't know if there's some special secret way on dealing with difficult family members? My sister is immature so I expect she will grow out of it but my mother is a different story. I've tried ignoring them but it continues in a vicious cycle. Any advice? 

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Maybe the problem lies with you being 'silent' and ignoring them? Your family aren't just people you live with, relationships are give and take. Maybe they're trying to reach out to you, and seeing you unresponsive frustrates them?

I can understand you saying that haha I wanted to limit the words on the post. but usually I'm the mood maker of the house because my sister is still going through puberty and is often very moody, and my mum hates that. But today I was silent and then things kicked off again. It's like treading on egg shells in my household 

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I'm sorry to hear that, tbh. If being around them really interferes with your emotional health, I think having a safe space free from drama is necessary.

 

If they complain about it, just tell them frankly that you're suffocated by the negativity. Give them a chance to hear you and your worries out. If talking it out calmly still doesn't work, it's on them. You should still prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Just at least try to settle things before you leave, especially towards your sister.

 

Your absence might put things into perspective for the both of them, but avoid cutting off ties with them completely. Call once in a while to check up on them.

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