Where's the line drawn between racial fetishization and racial preference? Is there a line at all; are they the same?

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

I've personally have been struggling with this for a while now. I've developed what I like to think is just a preference for East Asian guys & I had it for a long time. However, I try to keep it to myself as possible because of the debate on whether racial fetishization and racial preference is one in the same or not. I have other desired qualities in a guy beside him being Asian, but I can't help but feel something's wrong with me because I'm not attracted to white boys, black boys, etc. When someone asks me what I want in a man I get hesitant to answer. When it's clear to someone that I like only Asian boys I can't help but get defensive because I assume that person might take me the wrong way and think I'm a yellow fevered freak who likes Asian boys because she's a Korea-weeaboo that's been overly consumed with Hallyu & other types of Asian pop culture. Am I fetishizing Asian males in my head & if so how do I quit? It's really impossible for me to see myself with a guy who isn't Asian. If this is normal for me, what's the most appropriate way of saying I like Asians without coming off as a fetishizer?  Also feel free to add situations or something of people only being attracted to blacks, attracted only to Indians, Native Americans, Arabs, whites, etc. because I don't want this topic to only focus on Asian attraction, even though this is a Asian pop culture forum site.

 

Edit: I want to also make clear that I don't get attracted to every Asian. I met my fair share of some that aren't attractive, and some that are jerks. Yes anime & Hallyu was what made me develop this but I don't think I'm putting them on a pedestal thinking how they look like this one idol, at least not anymore.

[plastic angel]

hi guys. i am so sad that excuse me and bingbing are flopping

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

I'm not sure if I have a racial preference but I'm only attracted to light skin. I wish this wasn't the case but I can't change it.

Not really, because skin tone & race are different.

[Vip ex-Elvis]

I like smaller girls too. I get turned off when they are taller idk why

 

If it's a fetish or a preference I don't really know, but I don't think it matters anyway and it's not a problem. The best way to say it is just saying without getting shy, like it's something normal. For example, "Idk why but I always liked smaller girls". i doon't think anyone would judge you if you said you liked or had a thing for Asian guys

 

[Dovah Bitch]

If you like Asians that's the way it is, but don't automatically close yourself off to guys of other races. You may find after getting to know them you become attracted to them. People might make fun of you for being attracted to Asians but just take it in stride, who cares what they think as long as you're not being creepy.

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

I like smaller girls too. I get turned off when they are taller idk why

 

If it's a fetish or a preference I don't really know, but I don't think it matters anyway and it's not a problem. The best way to say it is just saying without getting shy, like it's something normal. For example, "Idk why but I always liked smaller girls". i doon't think anyone would judge you if you said you liked or had a thing for Asian guys

 

What if I just said it straight up like, "I like Asian guys."?

 

 

If you like Asians that's the way it is, but don't automatically close yourself off to guys of other races. You may find after getting to know them you become attracted to them. People might make fun of you for being attracted to Asians but just take it in stride, who cares what they think as long as you're not being creepy.

That is the fear though, appearing creepy.

[Godmother]

If you're only attracted to East Asians that's weird. I'm not sure if this is fetishization but it's probably wrong.

[SheeraEtheral]

Nothing wrong with your preference.

Like me I prefer guys of color. Mainly black or Latino (non white). It doesn't mean I'm against being with a white guy it's just I don't normally date them.

 

 

I don't fetish anyone though.

[THOTICUS]

From what I've gathered racial preference is when you prefer to date a certain race but are still open to dating other races.

 

having a racial fetish is exclusively dating one race, typically for certain characteristic or stereotypes linked to that race.

 

It's fine if you like asian guys but at least try to be open to more races or try to pinpoint the reason why you like asian guys and see if that characteristic can be found in other people. It's who you are so you can't do too much about it.

[Vip ex-Elvis]

What if I just said it straight up like, "I like Asian guys."?

That'd be fine, I guess. If they tease you just laugh at their joke, it's just a normal conversation between friends so

 

Don't say it if they didn't ask thou LOL

[14296195420]

Just say you like Asian guys fuck what anybody thinks of you.

 

Let's be real here tho, you probably didn't develop that attraction until after you discovered kpop or any kinds of Asian pop. It's not a bad thing but remember that normal Asians do not neccessarily look like Asian idols and do not just decide you don't like a race because I guarantee that you will find yourself attracted to a non-Asian someday. Good luck tho!

 

[Mischo]

But what is it that makes Eastern Asians the only desirable men for you?

 

East Asians are more than a billion people, they come in all shape and size..

 

Do you think positive exposure to Asians (like kpop) helped you developed this "racial preference?" Many people unconsciously pick up lots of positive terms and in turn preference towards specific races once they are bombared with positive images of them in media (again hallyu for exampme)

It's the same reason why lots of Asian males in the West struggle in the dating scene.. because Western media is the most dominant one globally and Asian males are in general being very desexualized, feminized etc.. such stereotypes have hurt Asian males.. so I guess it has lots to do with media representation..

[yeongwon]

if you are not east asian then it's fetishization

 

i think it's not a huge deal as long as you respect their individuality and realize that they are more than just their ethnicity

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

But what is it that makes Eastern Asians the only desirable men for you?

 

East Asians are more than a billion people, they come in all shape and size..

 

Do you think positive exposure to Asians (like kpop) helped you developed this "racial preference?" Many people unconsciously pick up lots of positive terms and in turn preference towards specific races once they are bombared with positive images of them in media (again hallyu for exampme)

It's the same reason why lots of Asian males in the West struggle in the dating scene.. because Western media is the most dominant one globally and Asian males are in general being very desexualized, feminized etc.. such stereotypes have hurt Asian males.. so I guess it has lots to do with media representation..

That's exactly what it is, although I've met my fair share of Asians I wasn't attracted to and Asians that are jerks.

[rasras]

If you're only attracted to East Asians that's weird. I'm not sure if this is fetishization but it's probably wrong.

why is it wrong.

there is no victim, no harm

op's not hurting anybody

[Stellaris Fanboy]

I'm attracted by the amount of 0's in their bank account.

[goaty]

racial preference is still racism so it's not much of a difference lmao

a fetish is when you like someone regardless of their personality and only see them as their fetish

a racial preference is similar to a fetish but you don't consider other races as good as your preferred one (even if you don't admit that)

[jooyoungsbae]

my taiwanese friend and my  other korean friend say they would never date asians. only white boys. i never heard anyone say that its wrong though so i dont get why people get so mad when people are like i would only date asians

[Ghettoe]

There is more to dating than race. I mean sure you can have a preference for a certain race but that is often based on the perception you have of that race not anything actually substantial. Nonetheless, I doubt that will change what you are attracted to.

 

To me it's creepy to only date a certain race.

[Ghettoe]

my taiwanese friend and my  other korean friend say they would never date asians. only white boys. i never heard anyone say that its wrong though so i dont get why people get so mad when people are like i would only date asians

 

Yeah, that's bullshit. I know black women like this and at home, they treat you like a prostitute just for dating a white guy. 

 

I also see a lot of criticism for women in interracial relationships from their own races. Like heaven's forbid you like someone outside your race. 

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

if you are not east asian then it's fetishization

 

i think it's not a huge deal as long as you respect their individuality and realize that they are more than just their ethnicity

Of course I do, like I said in the OP I have other qualities I want in a man besides Asian.

 

racial preference is still racism so it's not much of a difference lmao

a fetish is when you like someone regardless of their personality and only see them as their fetish

a racial preference is similar to a fetish but you don't consider other races as good as your preferred one (even if you don't admit that)

I heard it was the other way around.

 

 

my taiwanese friend and my other korean friend say they would never date asians. only white boys. i never heard anyone say that its wrong though so i dont get why people get so mad when people are like i would only date asians

I have a Korean friend as well who's like that. She said she'll only be with black or white guys.

Yeah, that's bullshit. I know black women like this and at home, they treat you like a prostitute just for dating a white guy.

 

I also see a lot of criticism for women in interracial relationships from their own races. Like heaven's forbid you like someone outside your race.

So are you against interracial dating in general? I don't understand.

[Ghettoe]

I've personally have been struggling with this for a while now. I've developed what I like to think is just a preference for East Asian guys & I had it for a long time. However, I try to keep it to myself as possible because of the debate on whether racial fetishization and racial preference is one in the same or not. I have other desired qualities in a guy beside him being Asian, but I can't help but feel something's wrong with me because I'm not attracted to white boys, black boys, etc. When someone asks me what I want in a man I get hesitant to answer. When it's clear to someone that I like only Asian boys I can't help but get defensive because I assume that person might take me the wrong way and think I'm a yellow fevered freak who likes Asian boys because she's a Korea-weeaboo that's been overly consumed with Hallyu & other types of Asian pop culture. Am I fetishizing Asian males in my head & if so how do I quit? It's really impossible for me to see myself with a guy who isn't Asian. If this is normal for me, what's the most appropriate way of saying I like Asians without coming off as a fetishizer?  Also feel free to add situations or something of people only being attracted to blacks, attracted only to Indians, Native Americans, Arabs, whites, etc. because I don't want this topic to only focus on Asian attraction, even though this is a Asian pop culture forum site.

 

Edit: I want to also make clear that I don't get attracted to every Asian. I met my fair share of some that aren't attractive, and some that are jerks. Yes anime & Hallyu was what made me develop this but I don't think I'm putting them on a pedestal thinking how they look like this one idol, at least not anymore.

 

Have you actually dated an Asian guy? 

 

Cause boy, when you date or even start something with a guy/girl. Reality is going to kill that racial preference. Might be why I don't have one. Being a minority, you get used to people fetishizing you and approaching you in the strangest of ways. 

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

Have you actually dated an Asian guy? 

 

Cause boy, when you date or even start something with a guy/girl. Reality is going to kill that racial preference. Might be why I don't have one. Being a minority, you get used to people fetishizing you and approaching you in the strangest of ways. 

I have

[Ghettoe]

I have a Korean friend as well who's like that. She said she'll only be with black or white guys.

So are you against interracial dating in general? I don't understand.

 

I don't even see where in my post you get that... 

 

I've pretty much stressed I have no racial preference, why would I be against interracial relationships?

[Exotic♕Queen♛]

I don't even see where in my post you get that... 

 

I've pretty much stressed I have no racial preference, why would I be against interracial relationships?

Okay good I was about to say LOL. From the 2nd time I read your comment IDK I thought you agreed with those statements. My bad.