Zenny 2,917 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I posted on Facebook two months ago about my aunt having died and how I was broken up over it. My close friend didn't "like" it but posted a reaction (a sad face). She did not ask me what was wrong or talk to me privately so I told her I was kind of upset about it. She said that she she doesn't remember doing it so I just decided to brush it off. So she asked me about my aunt and I told her she died of cancer and that earlier my aunt's mother in law had died of cancer as well. This was her response that caused me to stop responding to her all together. That's awful. I have so many ideas about cancer and where it comes from/why Who says that? Who says that when someone is upset over the death of their aunt? Am I stupid for being angry over this????? How can I bring myself to forgive her for this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mischo 7,462 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Seems like she wanted the opportunity to share her knowledge.. but this was very insensitive of her. She really should know better.. I don't think you should end your friendship, but it's best to confront her aboit it. That was not okay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpopisnotmylife 5,014 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 hmm I just feel like some people just aren't clever with their words.. but I'm sure she meant well at least she reacted to the awful news, but yeah I just think it's quite inconsiderate of her to say that but maybe she wanted to sympathise with you I'm sorry for your losses by the way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew 9,713 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 a lot of careless people I know are just like her they might not feel you (or might) , but they just wanna say something on that matter , aside of it being suitable for saying or not, she might have thought of a lot of stuff to say , but she couldn’t really reply with anything better than that +words sometimes can betray you, and situations can make you sometimes out of words to say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revert2 676 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Wow that was a bit rude... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenny 2,917 Posted December 25, 2016 Author Share Posted December 25, 2016 Seems like she wanted the opportunity to share her knowledge.. but this was very insensitive of her. She really should know better.. I don't think you should end your friendship, but it's best to confront her aboit it. That was not okay I wanna talk to her about it but I don't know how to without being rude myself or blowing up on her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lugoose 11,398 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 What a strange reply.. I would have gotten angry too tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffrey Jung 19,680 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 that was rather insensitive of him/her and she sounds like smartass with that sentence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elohim 2,768 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 This person is so self centered it's actually sad that someone can be so heartless. Many people die of cancer and it's possible for any person to get sick, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't feel and be sensible for the loved ones that have gone bc of it. Cancer is not something that you have to make up theories at times like this. I have an uncle that was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and even tho I ain't too close to him I know how sad our family is right now and my father couldn't stop crying when he learned about his brother's situation. So... I hope you're doing fine and I'm sure your aunt is at a better place now and I honestly think you don't need a "friend" like that in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shocking blue 7,514 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Oh man..,I don't blame you.. That's a very "I don't give a shit about you" insensitive response :/ Maybe she just has no tact or something so if it's a friendship you really treasure you could try to be real with her and say that you felt hurt but since she make an excuse about it last time...ah I don't know.. Also the fact that you stopped replying and she hasn't reached out to you or asked how you're feeling..I'm sorry about that :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMadamMims 4,512 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 i'll just say, my best friends mom died from cancer but i'm not good with situations like that so i told her i was there for if she needed anything or to talk, but she never brought it up--we just talked about other things. i asked her a year or so later if she thought i should have done more and she said there wasnt anything i could do. but i felt bad about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haunted 5,365 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Idk. I get the feeling she just feels awkward about the situation. It's difficult to find the correct response in situations like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstarnet 1,502 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 What a strange reply.. I would have gotten angry too tbh True. If someone's relatives or friend's died, it is the best to give condolence first to make the person to feel better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lugoose 11,398 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 True. If someone's relatives or friend's died, it is the best to give condolence first to make the person to feel better Yes I don't see how that person thinks... why would anyone want to know about her ideas for cancer when their relative just died Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mischo 7,462 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I wanna talk to her about it but I don't know how to without being rude myself or blowing up on her If I was you, I would prepare a speech of some kind.. so I know for sure what I sant to say beforehand.. If you're sure you're going to get too emotional, it would be better to write a message online Best of luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenny 2,917 Posted December 25, 2016 Author Share Posted December 25, 2016 This person is so self centered it's actually sad that someone can be so heartless. Many people die of cancer and it's possible for any person to get sick, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't feel and be sensible for the loved ones that have gone bc of it. Cancer is not something that you have to make up theories at times like this. I have an uncle that was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and even tho I ain't too close to him I know how sad our family is right now and my father couldn't stop crying when he learned about his brother's situation. So... I hope you're doing fine and I'm sure your aunt is at a better place now and I honestly think you don't need a "friend" like that in your life. Thinking about it, she's done this a lot. Whenever I tell her about my problems or worries she turns it around to herself and we always end up talking about her problems. I've addressed this to her before but she doesn't seem to care to change. It kind of turned me off to telling her or other people about my issues and stuff i'll just say, my best friends mom died from cancer but i'm not good with situations like that so i told her i was there for if she needed anything or to talk, but she never brought it up--we just talked about other things. i asked her a year or so later if she thought i should have done more and she said there wasnt anything i could do. but i felt bad about it I mean, I would've been okay if she just said "I'm sorry." Something like that rather than what she actually said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenny 2,917 Posted December 25, 2016 Author Share Posted December 25, 2016 If I was you, I would prepare a speech of some kind.. so I know for sure what I sant to say beforehand.. If you're sure you're going to get too emotional, it would be better to write a message online Best of luck x I won't say anything now since it's Christmas...lol might be a shock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstarnet 1,502 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 Yes I don't see how that person thinks... why would anyone want to know about her ideas for cancer when their relative just died True. The most she could do is just ask the cause of death, comfort her and that's it. Sometimes there are things, like personal or family stuffs, must never be reveal to others Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mischo 7,462 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I won't say anything now since it's Christmas...lol might be a shock lol yeah.. it's better that you wait after the new year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 If I was you, I would prepare a speech of some kind.. so I know for sure what I sant to say beforehand.. If you're sure you're going to get too emotional, it would be better to write a message online Best of luck x I agree with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orphan 775 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I think that friend was either too ignorant to put herself in your grieving state but bore no malice OR she is just tactless OR just not that close to you for her to actually care enough to response. Aka FB friendship. As someone said above, talk to her about it. But I advise you to give yourself some time to focus on your grief. Confronting her in your current state might end in disaster. Especially if this is a friendship you treasured. In one ways, I get your feelings. When my Mom passed away suddenly, I was a mess and my gf tried to console me by saying.."I know how you feel. I was pretty upset when my family dog died..." I wanted to slap her right there and then but walked away. I was not thinking straight and rightfully so. She meant no harm. Just plain idiotic. She apologized after I calmed down enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenny 2,917 Posted December 25, 2016 Author Share Posted December 25, 2016 I think that friend was either too ignorant to put herself in your grieving state but bore no malice OR she is just tactless OR just not that close to you for her to actually care enough to response. Aka FB friendship. As someone said above, talk to her about it. But I advise you to give yourself some time to focus on your grief. Confronting her in your current state might end in disaster. Especially if this is a friendship you treasured. In one ways, I get your feelings. When my Mom passed away suddenly, I was a mess and my gf tried to console me by saying.."I know how you feel. I was pretty upset when my family dog died..." I wanted to slap her right there and then but walked away. I was not thinking straight and rightfully so. She meant no harm. Just plain idiotic. She apologized after I calmed down enough. We lived with each other for two years and she always called me her best friend but...idk maybe we just aren't that close anymore Also this happened two months ago. So I think the time has passed but I'm still angry tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orphan 775 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 We lived with each other for two years and she always called me her best friend but...idk maybe we just aren't that close anymore Also this happened two months ago. So I think the time has passed but I'm still angry tbh She might just be paying you lips service by declaring you her bff. Since you guys lived with each other's for some time. Two months seemed about right. Maybe you should talk to her real soon and tell her how you really feel. A true friend might react defensive to what you are saying but eventually see merit in your argument. Whether she value you as a friend....you would soon find out. Nonetheless, even if she turns out to be a hi-bye! friend. She really need to to learn some tact and empathy and not indulge in those Tumblr bs. There is a time and place for everything. Hope it all turns out well for you. And my condolences. May you loved ones forever be at peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minassi 90 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 She should've been more appreciative and supportive about your loss, it seems like she cares about herself and talking about another topic....like she's avoiding it. It seems like your friend wanted to talk about something else, try to talk to her about it. Tell her that what she said was hurtful, and it didn't show any sympathy at all. At least she could've said sorry. I hope everything works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyBee12 33 Posted December 25, 2016 Share Posted December 25, 2016 I posted on Facebook two months ago about my aunt having died and how I was broken up over it. My close friend didn't "like" it but posted a reaction (a sad face). She did not ask me what was wrong or talk to me privately so I told her I was kind of upset about it. She said that she she doesn't remember doing it so I just decided to brush it off. So she asked me about my aunt and I told her she died of cancer and that earlier my aunt's mother in law had died of cancer as well. This was her response that caused me to stop responding to her all together. Who says that? Who says that when someone is upset over the death of their aunt? Am I stupid for being angry over this????? How can I bring myself to forgive her for this? I would get angry as well... she should comfort you first.. She is sharing her knowledge. Just say that u are sad.. and say what u should do to her. Maybe she will comfort you. Hallyu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.