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K-pop Boy GROUPS in 10 Years


Sammy Lee

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BTS: After giving two years worth of paychecks to Namjoon, Taehyung gets a slot on Cypher pt.14. It becomes their lowest selling single, but BTS doesn’t notice as they are too busy trying to cover up the fact that Suga’s soul departed 8 years ago and they’ve been using his corpse as a puppet to still milk Army dry. 

 

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Exo: Kyungsoo quit to become an actor after getting tired of grinding canes. Suho left to go “find himself†in the Bahamas, and Baekhyun currently leads the remaining members as they perform the Chinese version of “Wolf†at Norwegian birthday parties for pay.

 

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Got7: Currently only has 6 members. BamBam was kicked out in 2017 after pulling down his pants and playing “helicopter†at a fan meet. Currently tours with Jay Park while Got6 has 23 reality shows and 14 movies under their belts.

 

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NCT: Johnny resigns to become a DJ after debuting only once. Haechan is jailed after it was discovered he had been slowly poisoning Mark for years. WinWin tries to leave SM, but is offered a solo career under Yixing’s company. Cracks immediately under the pressure of singing more than 2 words.

 

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Big Bang: Somehow GD has 5 kids by 6 different women. Taeyang opened a gym. Top moved into a museum. Seungri is a happily married soccer dad, and Daesung disappeared in Japan with 3 geishas and a bottle of soju 4 years ago.

 

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Seventeen: After teasing Carats for 10 years, finally does a dark concept but 11 of the 13 members are in the military so it’s just Jun and Minghao tap dancing in leather jackets while whistling “Mansae†in a warehouse.

 

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SHINee: Everyone has split up for their own solo careers, but still come together for dinner every night. Minho is currently homeless after betting his house in an intense Monopoly battle with Key. Planning a reunion tour where the truth will finally be revealed about Jongtae.

 

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Ikon: hasn’t made a comeback in 9 years. Everyone has had 4 solo projects. Bobby and B.I. moved into Seungri’s abandoned man cave and are refusing to come out until they get a clothing line and matching miniature poodles.

 

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Monsta X: banned from Korea after performing naked in hopes of a number 1. Comes back with cute concept through Youtube and gets an all kill. not allowed in Korea to accept award. Award goes to Seventeen instead.

 

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Vixx: 4 of the members married fans while Hyuk and Hongbin enjoy the crazy bachelor life. Still continues to do deep concepts and just wrapped up their video where they portray vulnerable, voodoo veterans from Vermont.

 

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Winner: Reunites again with Namtae. Quits YG after leaving a steaming pile of dog poop on his desk. Produces music that heals and restores all of our broken souls. 

 

 

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:imstupid: You're welcome :imstupid: 

 

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Big Bang: Somehow GD has 5 kids by 6 different women. Taeyang opened a gym. Top moved into a museum. Seungri is a happily married soccer dad, and Daesung disappeared in Japan with 3 geishas and a bottle of soju 4 years ago.

 

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Taeyang has already called it.

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