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Crappy friend doesn't care that I got seriously injured


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I have this friend who swears cares about me and tells me I'm one of her closest friends but she has communication problems and is depressed and stuff so sometimes she doesn't reply to me for days or doesn't call me back (and I only call her when I really need her help). I used to think this was kind of normal at first because I didn't have many friends and dropped out of school. I've since gone back to school, made good friends and I graduated and I'm now at university. No matter how depressed I was (I was very depressed after dropping out) I would never ignore her like that but I just ignored it.

 

So anyway I few days ago I had an epileptic fit, fully lost consciousness and had to get an ambulance, cut myself on my forehead, gave myself a black eye and my glasses broke so I couldn't see. I sent her a picture of my face and told her what happened. Waited until the evening when I got home. No response. Called her. She didn't answer. She didn't call back. The next day she messages me like oh sorry I was out... Then 5 hours later she's like oh are you okay? Then I respond and she replies two days later!!! Two days!!! And since then we've just been talking about regular stuff or her life but she hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or called me or anything whilst my other friends have been constantly checking how I am, visited me, kept me busy so I wasn't too anxious etc etc. She just talks to me about her dating dramas. Like wtf???

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You shouldn't be her friend. I think no matter what the biggest thing in friendships is that the feelings are mutual. This sounds emotional abusive if anything and while I don't know everything about your relationship with this person I think you should have a discussion with her about the course of your friendship and just not be her friend. If your other friends actually have time to check in on you etc than you can see who your real friends are.

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I get the part about not calling/texting back, and different people respond differently to depression, so maybe she could've genuinely missed and/or couldn't reply to your messages... but... it's kind of sucky that she was that slow to ask if you're okay after actually getting the message.  :._.: Are you actually okay now though?

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I had a crappy friend too. In 3rd grade, I fell really hard and started bleeding and my friend doesn't even bother helping me out!!! I was really pissed off. She also left me out in everything and used me. I just had enough of that bullshit and by 5th grade, we stopped being friends. She said she didn't care because she was more popular and not a ugly loser like me. I didn't care what she said about me. She was a bitch. We go to the same school now. I don't talk to her or say hi or anything. I just ignore her and she ignores me. If you think she's a fake friend, don't be her friend and don't worry, you'll find other good friends :)

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You shouldn't be her friend. I think no matter what the biggest thing in friendships is that the feelings are mutual. This sounds emotional abusive if anything and while I don't know everything about your relationship with this person I think you should have a discussion with her about the course of your friendship and just not be her friend. If your other friends actually have time to check in on you etc than you can see who your real friends are.

 I don't want to like make her angry and end the friendship because of that. I feel like she could be a nice person but she's just..not.

I get the part about not calling/texting back, and different people respond differently to depression, so maybe she could've genuinely missed and/or couldn't reply to your messages... but... it's kind of sucky that she was that slow to ask if you're okay after actually getting the message.  :._.: Are you actually okay now though?

Yeah and it's like she didn't really understand the importance of it? Like one time I was telling her about how I found a lump in my breast and she just skipped over it. And I'm a little shaky but I'm getting better. Thank you <3  

I had a crappy friend too. In 3rd grade, I fell really hard and started bleeding and my friend doesn't even bother helping me out!!! I was really pissed off. She also left me out in everything and used me. I just had enough of that bullshit and by 5th grade, we stopped being friends. She said she didn't care because she was more popular and not a ugly loser like me. I didn't care what she said about me. She was a bitch. We go to the same school now. I don't talk to her or say hi or anything. I just ignore her and she ignores me. If you think she's a fake friend, don't be her friend and don't worry, you'll find other good friends :)

Lol aw, she sounds like an asshole.

 

that's not a friend

 

dump her ass

I'm starting to agree tbh

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How do I do it?

 

If she's taking days to respond to you after a medical emergency, you can probably just stop reaching out to her and it'll fade away, particularly if you don't really see each other without actively making plans to get together.

 

Focus on the friends who gave a shit. You don't have to complain to them about how she was crappy and uncaring to you, don't play that card - just be as good to them as they have been to you.

 

IF she even asks, some variation of:

"After I was hospitalized, a lot of people expressed concern and went out of their way to check in on me and make sure I was okay, but you weren't one of them. You kept saying we were really close friends, but you didn't act like it when it was really important, and I'm going to focus on friendships with the people who showed up when I needed them."

 

(Sidenote, I don't believe she has trouble communicating, I think you're just a convenient sounding board for her - how the hell does she have all these dating woes *that she can talk to you about just fine (because it's HER with a problem)* but can't return your call or a text?)

 

Try not to be passive-aggressive, try not to be super bitchy (even if you feel you have a right to be, she probably won't care and it will make you look bad), try not to gossip about her or talk shit about her to your actual friends. If THEY ask, a simple 'she wasn't around when I needed her and you guys were' should get the point across.

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If she's taking days to respond to you after a medical emergency, you can probably just stop reaching out to her and it'll fade away, particularly if you don't really see each other without actively making plans to get together.

 

Focus on the friends who gave a shit. You don't have to complain to them about how she was crappy and uncaring to you, don't play that card - just be as good to them as they have been to you.

 

IF she even asks, some variation of:

"After I was hospitalized, a lot of people expressed concern and went out of their way to check in on me and make sure I was okay, but you weren't one of them. You kept saying we were really close friends, but you didn't act like it when it was really important, and I'm going to focus on friendships with the people who showed up when I needed them."

 

(Sidenote, I don't believe she has trouble communicating, I think you're just a convenient sounding board for her - how the hell does she have all these dating woes *that she can talk to you about just fine (because it's HER with a problem)* but can't return your call or a text?)

 

Try not to be passive-aggressive, try not to be super bitchy (even if you feel you have a right to be, she probably won't care and it will make you look bad), try not to gossip about her or talk shit about her to your actual friends. If THEY ask, a simple 'she wasn't around when I needed her and you guys were' should get the point across.

Thank you so much for all of this, I will definitely do it.

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