arineunha 352 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I used to be that girl who falls for people easily despite what they looked like and how they acted and who they were if they gave me the tiniest bit of attention. I dated a few and realized that I was always on the hurting end of the relationship because of that. there's atleast two guys who I stayed with despite me not having any attraction to them. the most important thing to me is physical attraction (I sound like an ass probably), personality and ambition. these two guys and this new guy don't seem interested in anything and don't have a future goal/plan in mind I\m not rejecting on purpose, because I have set some standards and I consider how I really feel. today the guy ( I talked about before) showed up to my work unannounced to bring me food for thanksgiving day. he lives like 2 hours away from my work place but he managed to show up on time as soon as I ended,i left my workplace immediately and saw him sitting there, we went to a bubble tea shop and I bought us bubble tea. I said that he showed up unannounced and I didn't expect that/ understand why he did that because I already told him i'm not looking for anything serious. if he keeps doing that he'll stress me out because I don't want to date him, he says he likes me still. I find him unattractive well he's not really my type and there's this one line he always says that really annoys/irritates me. it's the "yeah man" thing he does in a nasally tone after every sentence. I think he got the wrong idea because I was being nice to him because he brought me stuff and I like food, and also it's always good to have a friend despite whatever. I don't know if I want to be friends with him if he keeps doing this. at first I enjoyed his attention but I really dislike it now. I said I had to go within like 30 minutes and left him in the cold. I sound like an asshole, but I need my space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
--- 967 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 am i a shithead for not reading all of that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurachinaDisuko 3,721 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Well you said that you made it a bit clear that you aren't interested in being more than friends, so no, you're not a dirtbag. Maybe you should make it a bit more clear to him before he falls for you harder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottomluhan 6,162 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 no, you aren't obligated to be attracted to or accept anyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paopufruit 815 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 No why would you be a dirtbag for rejecting someone you don't like lmao but yeah you should make it clear that you don't like him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otterrrac 100 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 no, you aren't obligated to be attracted to or accept anyone ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aliza 985 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I used to be that girl who falls for people easily despite what they looked like and how they acted and who they were if they gave me the tiniest bit of attention. I dated a few and realized that I was always on the hurting end of the relationship because of that. there's atleast two guys who I stayed with despite me not having any attraction to them. the most important thing to me is physical attraction (I sound like an ass probably), personality and ambition. these two guys and this new guy don't seem interested in anything and don't have a future goal/plan in mind I\m not rejecting on purpose, because I have set some standards and I consider how I really feel. today the guy ( I talked about before) showed up to my work unannounced to bring me food for thanksgiving day. he lives like 2 hours away from my work place but he managed to show up on time as soon as I ended,i left my workplace immediately and saw him sitting there, we went to a bubble tea shop and I bought us bubble tea. I said that he showed up unannounced and I didn't expect that/ understand why he did that because I already told him i'm not looking for anything serious. if he keeps doing that he'll stress me out because I don't want to date him, he says he likes me still. I find him unattractive well he's not really my type and there's this one line he always says that really annoys/irritates me. it's the "yeah man" thing he does in a nasally tone after every sentence. I think he got the wrong idea because I was bring nice to him because he brought me stuff and I like food, and also it's always good to have a friend despite whatever. I don't know if I want to be friends with him if he keeps doing this. at first I enjoyed his attention but I really disliked it. I said I had to go within like 30 minutes and left him in the cold. I sound like an asshole, but I need my space Nope, you're not. You can reject anyone you want to. You have no obligation to date someone, at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkles 549 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 You're not a dirtbag or an asshole for having preferences or wanting to be left alone. You should tell him to back off a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smash 170 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 are you a dirtbag? No. But you got to be crazy as hell. He brought you free food!!!! Free food He drove 2 hours just to feed you Unless he looks like a gollum I expect to hear cute couple stories LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peach Macaron 1,979 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 no, you aren't obligated to be attracted to or accept anyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amortentia 1,058 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Rather be honest than making false hopes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taigemei 1,375 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 no? you owe them nothing, you owe anyone nothing you're allowed to change your mind you're allowed to feel uncomfortable it's not being a dirtbag, it's caring about yourself. tbh i think it's a step in the right direction that you're giving yourself space when you need it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0neanias 13,516 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Reject him kindly but firmly, and you won't be. It's normal not to be attracted to someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Property of Goddess Irene 9,760 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 no, you aren't obligated to be attracted to or accept anyone No exceptions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miky 2,878 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 no you're not!!!!Better do it now and not give him any more false hopes...I hope it goes well and he get's that damn message and doesn't end up stalking u(it happened to me)...Some people just don't understand when u tell them nice that u aren't intrested...Liking u is his own will and no one takes that from him but it's also not an obligation to reciprocate his feelings,so stay on the position u choose and make it very clear and keep the distance as not to get more bad in the long time,accepting his food and stuff can be seen from his perspective as giving him hope so be sure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 Yes, I think what you did isn't considered a very nice thing to do but you, as a person, don't have the obligation to be nice and complacent all the time; so I'd say you have the right to be a dirtbag every now and then. The way you describe things it might seem he genuinely thinks you can fall for him if he tries really hard to be nice with you but it's a good thing you have your own standards and don't feel obliged to date him just because he's doing all that (which is what he is trying). So I think you're dealing with this fine and hopefully he gets that you're not interested in him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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