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Long Distance and "Bf" Depressed


KoreaxxLove

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So, this is a long story, maybe. I'm American, but I went to China to teach for six months. I didn't really expect anything to happen, but about two weeks before I returned home, I basically met the most perfect guy in the world (I'm a guy, too), and we really hit it off. We did everything together until the day I went home, spent hours and hours together, and it was obvious there was a connection. 

 

I've been home over a month now, and I plan to go back in February when my school starts a new semester. We have plans to live together and stuff, and it's not "official," I guess, but we both know how we feel about each other.

 

The problem is that lately he's been super depressed (even to the point of threatening suicide) because his mom keeps "forcing" him to get married. (Which he obviously doesn't want to as a gay guy) He's 23. 

 

Anyway, after a bit of that, I finally managed to convince him that he didn't have to, and he seemed to get better, but he's fallen back into a general depression the last two days. I know depression is complicated, but he's not as willing to really talk about what his problems are. I don't want to pressure him, but we've gone from talking all the time to maybe half of what we were talking, and most of it is me comforting him. I'm beginning to wonder if he's grown tired of me or if I simply just can't help him, and I feel so powerless being so far away from him. 

 

Should I give him more space? I write him all the time, just like I always did, even when he doesn't reply. I asked him if it bothered him, but he said it was okay. He said he reads my messages, so I don't know if maybe they make him feel better. I don't want him to feel suffocated, but I also don't want him to feel abandoned. I don't know what to do. I am worried that if I tell him he is worrying me it will give him more pressure. 

Am I overreacting? 

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No, you aren't. You made it clear that he's your world, so its natural to freak out like that. But like you said, depression is complicated and its not easy to always talk about things. (you aren't in his mind! you must remember that!!!) I say keep writing him-if he's still reading them, he must still care. Instead of saying he worries you say you want him to be happy because you care for him.

 

 

No matter how this ends write a book about cuz this is great story plot...i'm sorry my inner author is coming out.

 

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Well it sounds like you guys are in a honeymoon phase you've only known each other for less than a month. You haven't known each other too long which probably why he isn't confiding in you too much. Family in china is way different from in America, not obeying them can completely ruin your life. If you want to talk to him try to completely avoid anything he is depressed about.

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