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Alisonn

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~ The Holiday of Hope ~ 

 

 

Joyous sounds of laughter echo through the room, as the children gulp down their last serving of hot cocoa, ignoring the slight burn as the hot beverage runs down their throat.  As the words ‘bed time’ ring through their ears, excitement fills them all to the core, as they rush up the stairs, pushing the others away as they fight over who gets to use the bathroom first.  But they all don’t take long today as they rush off to bed, tucking their small petite frames under their comforters and closing their eyes in anticipation.  This was their household, but not every household was like theirs. 

 

Not too far away there would be children who went to sleep without a warm cup of cocoa beforehand and not on the comfortable beds that the previous children had.  But what was most important was that they too tucked themselves in at night, fighting off the cold as they awaited the miracle of Christmas.  Christmas is a miracle that springs from hope; the children’s hope.  Hope that when the clock struck twelve a sleigh full of presents, led by a red nosed reindeer would land swiftly on their rooftop.  Hope that an old plump man dressed in red would slide down their chimney and eat the cookies and milk they had left him.  Hope that he would feed the carrots to the reindeers and leave presents in their stockings.  It was hope that made Christmas; it was hope and belief that made them excited on this very night.  

 

Even if the truth of that long held lie would somehow slip into the children's ears, Christmas was magical experience that they didn’t want their children to miss out on, so they too would keep that lie.  Christmas was a lie; all a tale that existed and started too long ago.   A tale that was once true thanks to Father Nicolas, but now it was a mere tradition fable.   But to cruelly take that belief away from a child was not what parents wanted, because Christmas provided hope, a hope that was so powerful and magical that it created miracles. 

 

But miracles are only created by one’s self.  Wishing for a miracle was like wishing to find water in a desert; not impossible, but extremely scarce.   The world around us shatters hope, it destroys it, because one cannot always hope, one must be realistic, one must know their limitations.  One should not rely on miracles, because sometimes the most beautiful miracles are the ones that will disperse into illusion. 

But with hope is there achievement.  With achievement comes accomplishment.  As humans we seek for accomplishment, we seek to find what we were meant for.  We seek to feel that momentarily satisfaction that can disappear into mists in seconds.  He was no different from any other human, he too wanted to feel accomplished; he too wanted to succeed.  But he had learnt the hard way that relying on hope was why he visions were starting to slowly crash in front of him. 

 

He was slowly starting to isolate himself from the world, pushing away anything he had left.  The world wasn’t abandoning him, but he was abandoning it.  There was only one person left until he would finally be alone; until he would have succeeded in desolating himself.  On the night of Christmas Eve when the children were hoping for miracles, his hope was becoming a distancing dream.  It was so far away so unreachable that it was gradually becoming unobtainable.  His survival was threading on a thin piece of string and sooner or later he would lose balance and give up on it entirely.  That was what she feared most, she feared that when she left he would cut that string and leave everything behind. 

 

The clicking of her heels resonated around the room as it came in contact with the smooth timber surface beneath it.  She makes her way across the cold, dark room to the dark figure that stands on the other end.  Her arms wrap themselves around the silhouette of the tall man, as she leans her head on his back.  Her grasp is tight; she's afraid that if her grasp is not strong enough, he will slip away and leave her earlier.  Nothing is said, silence once again feels the room as both figures stand there almost lifeless.  His hand reaches for hers as he brushes his thumb softly over the back of her hand.  They momentarily forget what has happened around them and what was coming in the near future.  The warmth that emanates from their bodies keeps the other warm, as they rest in the moment, treasuring it. 

 

“Have you finished packing yet?† His question makes her heart drop, as she refrains from letting the tears slip from the well of her eyes.  She was hoping that he wouldn’t send her away like that; she was hoping that he would ask her to stay.  Although the chances of it happening were miniscule, she was still holding onto the hope.  She too was hoping that night, but he had already lost hope. 

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before slowly shaking her head.  “Do you need my help then?† He asks.  His voice; his words, they all seem unemotional to her and it was starting to break her.  She shakes her head once more; she’s disappointed and in pain.  Her emotions have never slipped away from his grasps, but he pretends to not know.  The clock ticks away and so does their time together.  It was his idea for her to leave on the earliest flight the next day. 

 

“I want to delay the trip.† Her soft voice resonates in his ear drums.  A silence once again bestows them.  He closes him eyes and exhales deeply, before breaking her arms away from his waist.  Her face is now in contact with his chest, as he strokes her hair, interlocking his body with hers.  “It’s Christmas tomorrow…†She mutters, barely audible, but loud enough for him to hear. 

He gently places his thumb and index finger on her chin, lifting her head, so their eyes come in contact with one another’s.  From here she can see the evident toll the last few months has been on his appearance.  His distinct bone structure, his sharp features, they were all much more prominent than they were at the beginning of the year.  His actions, his expressions showed that his optimistic personality was no longer part of him.  The tears that she had been trying to refrain were starting to roll down her cheeks.  “Jessica,†her name rolls of his tongue at ease.  She’s afraid it’s the last time she’s going to her his deep, husky voice, call her. 

 

The Ok Taecyeon she knew was still there, but she was no longer Jung Sooyeon.  The Jung Sooyeon that knew Ok Taecyeon would have never made that suggestion.   The Jung Sooyeon that knew Ok Taecyeon knew the exact reasons for his actions.  Jung Sooyeon knew exactly why it would have been best for her to leave as he wanted.  But just like how he was a blank piece of white paper to her, she was a book that he could read.  He understood her, to him she was predictable, but that was what kept them together.  After years of being together, there wasn’t anything they didn’t understand about one another and that was why it was hurting her so much.  The pain came from knowing him, because knowing him meant that she was crashing her own hopes.  She was the one causing her harm, but she didn’t want to let go, she didn’t want to be the first to leave.  “Your parents are waiting for you.† He hesitates when he says those words; he looks away as he mutters the last of it.  “I’ll help you finish packing.† He tells her, it’s the only thing he can think of.  He doesn’t want see her tears continue to fall because of him. 

 

Like the rest of the house, her room now had little furnishings and most of what was left was sitting in her suitcase on top of the bed.  It was because of him that their house turned out like this; it was because of his hopes, dreams and ambitions that her belongings were starting to diminish.  That was when she started to weep, falling harshly onto the wooden floor.  She clenched onto her chest and wept to her heart’s desire, expressing those weeks of cramped up emotions.  He brought her into his embrace, because it was the only thing he could do to comfort her. 

 

“Why do you have to push me away like this?† She continues to cry, burying herself into him.  “I don’t want to leave, please don’t push me away.† Her words are like daggers, as they pierce into him.  But he doesn’t say anything he just holds onto her tighter.  Tears well up in his eyes, but he knows he can’t let them fall.  

 

“I promise that I will come looking for you.† They’re empty words though; both of them know that he most likely won’t; that his pride would prevent him for looking for her.   But she lets his words soothe her.  “But promise me you won’t wait, that you’ll move on before I come looking for you.  Promise me that and I promise I’ll come look for you.† Silent tears roll down her cheek as she shakes her head in denial, she wants to wait for him.  “Don’t wait for me, promise me that you won’t.†

 

She pulls herself away from him.  This isn’t how she wants to be comforted; she doesn’t mind if he just soothes her with lies, but she doesn’t want to face the dawning reality.  “I can’t do that.  Lie to me, deceive me, but please don’t ask me to move on.  Be selfish make me wait for you, because then I can hate you, but don’t push me away like this.  Please!† 

 

“But I can’t do that.  I’m selfish enough that I want you not to hate me.† He tells her, bringing her closer to him once again.  This time she doesn’t push him away. 

 

“You know I won’t hate you no matter what you do.  You know that though.† She whimpers.  She slightly loses herself in his embrace, allowing her hand to run themselves over his facial features once more, before she brushes her delicate pink lips against his.  Her arms wrap themselves around his neck, as he leads, slipping his tongue into her mouth.  Although she wishes this won’t be the last time, she knows that it probably will be.  “I promise you I’ll move on, if you promise to continue living because of me.  Promise that for me you’ll continue to live.  Promise me that you won't forget me.†

 

He nods, before he leans his forehead lightly on hers, reconnecting their lips.  “I promise that I’ll continue to live.  I promise that I’ll never forget you.† He mumbles the words against her lips, as the tears he’s been trying to hold in escapes.  “I’m sorry I love you.†

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

“I’m sorry I love you.†  The words roll in her mind once more.  She hasn’t kept her promise, but she hopes that he’ll keep his.  Although Christmas has entirely changed for her, there is still one thing that hasn’t changed about it.  It’s the holiday of hope; Christmas is the holiday of hope.  For the children out there it’s to hope for Santa’s arrival, but for her it’s to hope that one day the person she loves will fulfil his ambitions and come searching for her.    

 

 

 

 

Word Count: 1,948

 

 

 

 

A/N  This most likely won't get anywhere, but I needed to write this so I could hopefully overcome my mind's inability to process words at the moment.  But it's a Taecsica fanfic, my very first one of my OTP strangely.  Btw, there is no such thing as creativity when it comes to me, so sorry for taking the time of anyone that actually read this.  I'll most likely edit this again.  I'm all up for feedback, so yeah... 

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sorry i new nub, what it is the purpose of you post?? you want literary criticism, thoughts about it? are you inviting us in a literary contest here, do you want suggestions?? Please elaborate so I can respond accoridingly

It's for the 2nd Annual Writing Contest...  If you have time to provide all of the above, I wouldn't mind, but you sound harsh and scary...

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It's for the 2nd Annual Writing Contest...  If you have time to provide all of the above, I wouldn't mind, but you sound harsh and scary...

If I am harsh to you after I finish it will only be because I want you to succeed, so I will spare the sugarcoating and present you with my honest opinion.

 

prepare yourself, this is gonna be a long read

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If I am harsh to you after I finish it will only be because I want you to succeed, so I will spare the sugarcoating and present you with my honest opinion.

 

prepare yourself, this is gonna be a long read

I've committed myself to posting it online, so I guess I was waiting for the criticism anyway... 

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By the way I will criticize not provide creative answers, that is you job


1)â€ignoring the slight burn as the hot liquid runs down their throat†when you are describing something that involves children and if you want to bring the warm fuzy feeling kind of response by reading this line you should not use the word liquid. Liquid is mostly associated in factual references than something that draws emotional response. For example in the sciences (liquid mercury, liquid supercooled gasses).

2)†excitement feels them all to the core†this is a general observation, watch your words not good posting something for feedback when you have not made a thorough grammar or syntax edit yet.

3) “It was hope that made their miracles†this phrase is way too early for you to use it, you have not established if hopes makes miracles happen 100%. Also you are giving way too much of the plot really early, if you say that hope makes miracle come true and the children as you said before have hope then 2 things will happen. 1) I will know a major plot that a miracle will happen somewhere down the line, that is boring. 2)I will wait for a miracle to happen but it will not, that means that particular phrase is a lie, you just lied to your reader bro. Edit it or remove it.

4) “Even if the truth of that long held lie would somehow slip into their ears…†Who is their?? I know in the next line that you mean the parents, but it is a serious literary mistake to assume the reader knows about them and use their without first introducing them, in some way or another.

5)†fib†don’t use fib in a literary competition.

6)General observation, you are using the word miracles a little bit too much, you risking to sound repetitive.

 

7)†Wishing for a miracle was like wishing to find water in a desert; not impossible, but extremely scarce.†You are making miracles sound like they pop every now and then, like oasis in the desert, miracle is a strong word, don’t use it lightly it is even more rare than finding water in the desert.

8)†With achievement comes accomplishment†these words are synonyms bro

9)† she feared that when she left….†Why is she leaving?? Again you are giving away too much too early, take it slow don’t rush it, consider writing as lovemaking, readers in this case need a lot of foreplay.

10) “Have you finished packing yet?† He question makes her heart drop, as she refrains from letting the tears slip from the well of her eyes.  She was hoping that he wouldn’t send her away like that; she was hoping that he would ask her to stay.  Although the chances of it happening were miniscule, she was still holding onto the hope.    This part is very good +1

11) Her emotions have never slipped away from his grasps, but he pretends to not know.
 Also good +1

12)Final observations It took some time for me to get hooked to what you wrote, par of it is because your introductory paragraphs are severely lacking, I don’t want to sound rude but those paragraphs seem to me like the filler episodes in shoujo anime when they don’t know how to progress the story they fill it with nonsensical stuff. The whole thing about the kids with the hot coca and then the kids without the hot cocoa and after the miracle stuff and Santa clause, you made me believe that the story was about parents and their kids and they all will be happy together because of a Christmas miracle. You may have written this way cause you wanted to give the reader a plot twist, but honestly this is not an intelligent plot twist. I think you personally had trouble getting around to writing this stuff.

The good stuff of your writing was all centered in the TAEC SICA interaction, and those parts were really interesting and worth reading, I am pretty sure you enjoyed writing those parts more than anything, and it honestly shows in the method your writing changes, from incoherent and stale to exciting and smooth flowing writing.

                                                          

My suggestion, use more of the introduction to expand the romance scenes, and stop using the word miracle so many times. GOOD LUCK

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By the way I will criticize not provide creative answers, that is you job

 

 

1)â€ignoring the slight burn as the hot liquid runs down their throat†when you are describing something that involves children and if you want to bring the warm fuzy feeling kind of response by reading this line you should not use the word liquid. Liquid is mostly associated in factual references than something that draws emotional response. For example in the sciences (liquid mercury, liquid supercooled gasses).

 

2)†excitement feels them all to the core†this is a general observation, watch your words not good posting something for feedback when you have not made a thorough grammar or syntax edit yet.

 

3) “It was hope that made their miracles†this phrase is way too early for you to use it, you have not established if hopes makes miracles happen 100%. Also you are giving way too much of the plot really early, if you say that hope makes miracle come true and the children as you said before have hope then 2 things will happen. 1) I will know a major plot that a miracle will happen somewhere down the line, that is boring. 2)I will wait for a miracle to happen but it will not, that means that particular phrase is a lie, you just lied to your reader bro. Edit it or remove it.

 

4) “Even if the truth of that long held lie would somehow slip into their ears…†Who is their?? I know in the next line that you mean the parents, but it is a serious literary mistake to assume the reader knows about them and use their without first introducing them, in some way or another.

 

5)†fib†don’t use fib in a literary competition.

 

6)General observation, you are using the word miracles a little bit too much, you risking to sound repetitive.

 

7)†Wishing for a miracle was like wishing to find water in a desert; not impossible, but extremely scarce.†You are making miracles sound like they pop every now and then, like oasis in the desert, miracle is a strong word, don’t use it lightly it is even more rare than finding water in the desert.

 

8)†With achievement comes accomplishment†these words are synonyms bro

 

9)† she feared that when she left….†Why is she leaving?? Again you are giving away too much too early, take it slow don’t rush it, consider writing as lovemaking, readers in this case need a lot of foreplay.

 

10) “Have you finished packing yet?† He question makes her heart drop, as she refrains from letting the tears slip from the well of her eyes.  She was hoping that he wouldn’t send her away like that; she was hoping that he would ask her to stay.  Although the chances of it happening were miniscule, she was still holding onto the hope.    This part is very good +1

 

11) Her emotions have never slipped away from his grasps, but he pretends to not know.

 Also good +1

 

12)Final observations It took some time for me to get hooked to what you wrote, par of it is because your introductory paragraphs are severely lacking, I don’t want to sound rude but those paragraphs seem to me like the filler episodes in shoujo anime when they don’t know how to progress the story they fill it with nonsensical stuff. The whole thing about the kids with the hot coca and then the kids without the hot cocoa and after the miracle stuff and Santa clause, you made me believe that the story was about parents and their kids and they all will be happy together because of a Christmas miracle. You may have written this way cause you wanted to give the reader a plot twist, but honestly this is not an intelligent plot twist. I think you personally had trouble getting around to writing this stuff.

 

The good stuff of your writing was all centered in the TAEC SICA interaction, and those parts were really interesting and worth reading, I am pretty sure you enjoyed writing those parts more than anything, and it honestly shows in the method your writing changes, from incoherent and stale to exciting and smooth flowing writing.

                                                          

My suggestion, use more of the introduction to expand the romance scenes, and stop using the word miracle so many times. GOOD LUCK

I was expecting much harsher criticism.  I'll attempt to fix things, when I wake up tomorrow.  Thank you for putting in the effort.  tumblr_inline_mmzo25WorX1qz4rgp.gif

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what are your thoughts, do u agree with certain points?? disagree??

I agree with the majority of your points.  And you were right about the fillers part... I didn't exactly know what I was writing so I was just typing and hoping something would come up along the way.  Also I needed to incorporate the theme, so I needed some random stuff about Christmas.  

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I liked it, but it did take a while for me to digest it. It is a nice story and I felt that you did well in expressing the emotions of Taec and Jessica. Also, I liked your whole ideology of Christmas as a celebration. You have a wide vocabulary and good grammar too. It's much better than mine as a Uni student lol. Good job, Alison :).

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I liked it, but it did take a while for me to digest it. It is a nice story and I felt that you did well in expressing the emotions of Taec and Jessica. Also, I liked your whole ideology of Christmas as a celebration. You have a wide vocabulary and good grammar too. It's much better than mine as a Uni student lol. Good job, Alison :).

Aww... thank you.. tumblr_inline_mg15qnUpxW1qdlkyg.gif  I'm currently reading your twins fic for Candice.  And I doubt that mine if better, considering I really do have my ups and downs when it comes to writing.  I generally avoid dialogue, because I know I can't write dialogue well.  Did it take a while to digest because it was confusing? tumblr_inline_mg16ex9KwE1qdlkyg.gif

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Aww... thank you.. tumblr_inline_mg15qnUpxW1qdlkyg.gif  I'm currently reading your twins fic for Candice.  And I doubt that mine if better, considering I really do have my ups and downs when it comes to writing.  I generally avoid dialogue, because I know I can't write dialogue well.  Did it take a while to digest because it was confusing? tumblr_inline_mg16ex9KwE1qdlkyg.gif

No problem. Nah, yours is better. It's much more organised. Don't worry, I'm like that too. It depends on my mood. Sometimes my chapters might be exciting and others are like a snore fest. I tend to write a fair bit of dialogue since most of my stories are in first POV. It's not confusing, I think it's because of the depth of the plot and the characters' personalities is rather deep and complexed so I had to concerntrate to understand it lol. But it's good that way, because it keeps the reader thinking instead of putting everything out on a plate.

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No problem. Nah, yours is better. It's much more organised. Don't worry, I'm like that too. It depends on my mood. Sometimes my chapters might be exciting and others are like a snore fest. I tend to write a fair bit of dialogue since most of my stories are in first POV. It's not confusing, I think it's because of the depth of the plot and the characters' personalities is rather deep and complexed so I had to concerntrate to understand it lol. But it's good that way, because it keeps the reader thinking instead of putting everything out on a plate.

My story looks more organised, because I tend to have minimal events and because I have minimal events I tend to try to make it sound deeper and more meaningful.  I dislike telling a whole entire story to the readers so I let them interpret, because in a way it's easier for me.  I remember that my first fic was in first point of view and it was a complete utter embarrassment.  First person point of view is much, much harder to write in for me.

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My story looks more organised, because I tend to have minimal events and because I have minimal events I tend to try to make it sound deeper and more meaningful.  I dislike telling a whole entire story to the readers so I let them interpret, because in a way it's easier for me.  I remember that my first fic was in first point of view and it was a complete utter embarrassment.  First person point of view is much, much harder to write in for me.

I like your writing style :). I'm sure it's not too bad. Fair enough, it is rather difficult to make clear differences between characters and let their personalities and quirks shine at the same time.

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I like your writing style :). I'm sure it's not too bad. Fair enough, it is rather difficult to make clear differences between characters and let their personalities and quirks shine at the same time.

I like your writing style as well though.  You have write romance, much much better than I do.  Each time I try, I end up writing angst and just going with the flow.  Your one shots are really long though and I'm a slow reader. 

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I like your writing style as well though.  You have write romance, much much better than I do.  Each time I try, I end up writing angst and just going with the flow.  Your one shots are really long though and I'm a slow reader. 

Thanks dear. Yeah my stories are all romance ones at the moment. Haha, it's probably because you like things with super deep meanings. Sorry about that, I've just started writing one shots recently so I haven't learned how to like shorten them. If I took a few scenes and dialogue out of them then it probably would be better lol. I hope my future ones will be shorter  :lol: . You write angst well, by the way. I haven't read the smut ones yet but I'll get to them  :) .

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Thanks dear. Yeah my stories are all romance ones at the moment. Haha, it's probably because you like things with super deep meanings. Sorry about that, I've just started writing one shots recently so I haven't learned how to like shorten them. If I took a few scenes and dialogue out of them then it probably would be better lol. I hope my future ones will be shorter  :lol: . You write angst well, by the way. I haven't read the smut ones yet but I'll get to them  :) .

I know how you feel.  I never got the hang of one shots until the creative responses we were made to write at school.  I was always so annoyed at how they were limited to 800 words.  :lol:  The smut ones are a long read... so have fun.  tumblr_mc45isPQNA1qdlkyg.gif

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I know how you feel.  I never got the hang of one shots until the creative responses we were made to write at school.  I was always so annoyed at how they were limited to 800 words.   :lol:  The smut ones are a long read... so have fun.  tumblr_mc45isPQNA1qdlkyg.gif

True, I hated those. Word limits suck and when you get into Uni, they don't get any friendlier lol. I will! Thanks for sharing your stories with me and for reading mine as well  :lol:

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True, I hated those. Word limits suck and when you get into Uni, they don't get any friendlier lol. I will! Thanks for sharing your stories with me and for reading mine as well  :lol:

They're nicer in college though, the extra 400 words they give us.  :lol:  Thanks for reading my stories, I enjoyed reading yours.  I will eventually read them all.  :lol:

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I remember loving that in High School, because all of my stories would be one or two words under the quota.  

Sometimes it feels like luxury, but other times it kind of strangles you. Especially with research essays, god they are such a pain because so much information and analysis is required and the quota is like only around 1000-1200 words which isn't a lot.

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Sometimes it feels like luxury, but other times it kind of strangles you. Especially with research essays, god they are such a pain because so much information and analysis is required and the quota is like only around 1000-1200 words which isn't a lot.

I don't do any Humanities subjects anymore so I don't have to write any research essays.

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