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OH, I need boy advice


Rainism

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So my first serious boyfriend broke up with me when he got a job offer in another city, and he understandably didn’t want to deal with a long-distance relationship. It look me a long time to get over it, but my ex and I were still friendly with one another~ that is, until I began dating someone new and he started making passive-aggressive Facebook statuses that were obviously about me and my relationship. Long story short, it ended with him saying to my face that I was a social climber lmao


 


We haven’t seen or talked to each other in years but he recently got a job in the same building I work in so we run into each other all the time now. He just texted me asking how I’ve been. The conversation was pretty harmless small talk until he randomly throws out a “I miss youâ€, apologizing for everything and asking if I wanted to try again.


 


…and I don’t know what to say. Like, I guess I still kind of like him but he really hurt my feelings. Would you give someone a second chance or is this asking for trouble?


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he sounds immature

 

something similar has happened to my friends many times and every time they gave a second chance it did NOT work out

 

maybe im being too harsh, but i think hes proven he's not really one for "commitment" 

 

are you still with your other boyfriend?

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Well..he was jealous understandably (he was tryna get you back but u moved on to a new relationmunship) but i dont know about that whole facebook mess..if yall get into an argument is he gonna put both of yall business on blast for the world to see? Those run and tell it to the fb types are dengerus gurl but do you boo

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He's seems like  a really immature guy who seems to nitpick a lot. He has no right to act so selfish and rude to you when he was the one who dumped you! Its like he threw away something he got bored of yet got jealous because someone else picked it up and gave it attention. 

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i think i was hoping someone would help me justify going back to him, but damnit I know you guys are right. ;( 

 

Even though I've never dated before, I think you could approach this in two ways.

 

If we were to give your ex the benefit of a doubt, we could say that a lot can change in three years. Is he the same person that he was when you knew him before/during your relationship? and if he broke it off mainly cause of long distance (and not because of communication problems, getting too comfortable with each other, becoming bored and uninterested, relationship being too one-sided), well now you get to see each other more often right, especially since you work in the same building. Plus, even though you have slight feelings for him, I guess it could be a sign that getting back together isn't too bad of an idea.

 

On the other hand, I will admit that as a guy, sometimes we can get really stuck in the past, struggle moving on (hell I know I do) and create fictional stories in their heads of how everything will work out again. I don't know how your guys' relationship was like but usually there is a reason for why the relationship didn't work out in the first place (other than just moving away), and that is the sad reality. It's like trying to light a campfire but all the wood is already burnt out and charred. Also, what I said about working in the same building as being an advantage... it can also be a disadvantage. What if you guys break up again and now it gets even more awkward between you two. What if he gets another job offer in a different city and you have to deal with the heartache again, are you willing to risk that? Oh, and that FB thing... he seems like the jealous type. I wouldn't wanna get mixed with that.

 

If I were you I wouldn't consider getting back together, but again you decide what you think is best for you. Btw, sorry if this post gave you more questions than answers, just trying to give you some things to think about

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Even though I've never dated before, I think you could approach this in two ways.

 

If we were to give your ex the benefit of a doubt, we could say that a lot can change in three years. Is he the same person that he was when you knew him before/during your relationship? and if he broke it off mainly cause of long distance (and not because of communication problems, getting too comfortable with each other, becoming bored and uninterested, relationship being too one-sided), well now you get to see each other more often right, especially since you work in the same building. Plus, even though you have slight feelings for him, I guess it could be a sign that getting back together isn't too bad of an idea.

 

On the other hand, I will admit that as a guy, sometimes we can get really stuck in the past, struggle moving on (hell I know I do) and create fictional stories in their heads of how everything will work out again. I don't know how your guys' relationship was like but usually there is a reason for why the relationship didn't work out in the first place (other than just moving away), and that is the sad reality. It's like trying to light a campfire but all the wood is already burnt out and charred. Also, what I said about working in the same building as being an advantage... it can also be a disadvantage. What if you guys break up again and now it gets even more awkward between you two. What if he gets another job offer in a different city and you have to deal with the heartache again, are you willing to risk that? Oh, and that FB thing... he seems like the jealous type. I wouldn't wanna get mixed with that.

 

If I were you I wouldn't consider getting back together, but again you decide what you think is best for you. Btw, sorry if this post gave you more questions than answers, just trying to give you some things to think about

tbh I know I shouldn't, but my brain is being stubborn af. urghhhh, thank you for your message tho, it does give me a lot to think about <3

 

It's pretty late in rain city, shouldn't you be sleeping?  :ninja:  

 

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tbh I know I shouldn't, but my brain is being stubborn af. urghhhh, thank you for your message tho, it does give me a lot to think about <3

 

It's pretty late in rain city, shouldn't you be sleeping?  :ninja:  

 

 

 

says the person who made a post on the gfriend thread at 3:41 AM... WHAT'S UP WITH THAT LOL

 

also, it's a saturady okei lmao :ninja:

 

HEY HOW ABOUT YOU EH?  :unimpressed: 

 

 

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just laugh at it, n say he's funny without hurting him. make the situation not going into serious mode.

 

you said you haven't seen each other in years right? you don't know if he's change or not right. if you kinda still like him just try be friend with him, slowly. if he ask you out or anything like that just tell him that "let's just be friend first, we both just met again it would be weird to just get back together without even knowing if someone change or not in the past years" something like that. if he force you or get upset about it n telling you that he always thinking about you in the past years, just ignore him. that's a cliche line. but if he agree with you then just be friend with him first, getting know more about him n how your feeling about him is actually.

 

kinda wonder, why you need a boy this kind of problem? ain't girls usually ask this kinda situation with another girls?

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