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Should I talk to her?


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Well, to start everything off, I have just become a freshman at university about a month ago. It has all been glorious, the independence that I've found, and the big fact that I don't feel the need to keep an appearance (I needed to since everyone already knew me too much at highschool thanks to being there almost my entire lifetime), and that I can be open about my sexuality with others. Well, more or less.

 

For freshman, it's mandatory to enter an extracurricular class to gain credits, and, at first, I had chosen theater, as it was at an hour it would not interfere with my schedule. There, I met her. I don't know why, but I really liked her, and from then on I gained a crush.

 

Since I am used to having crushes that I have no chance in hell to be with (lesbian struggles), I tried to distance myself from her. I didn't want to talk to her at all because I knew that I would like her more and I would make fool of myself. So, I changed my extracurricular class. She wasn't the only reason, though. I discovered it was too unsavory to me to have to get up early at Saturdays, since that's the only day I can sleep in.

 

That didn't help, because later on I discovered our classrooms were next to each other. I thought about it for a while, and my friend suggested something to at least have some closure. She suggested for her to go ask her in place of a "male friend" (in spanish, pronouns are gendered) if she had a boyfriend or if she was almost there with someone. I agreed. Why not? The worst thing that could happen was having her say that she actually had a boyfriend, and that wouldn't have been that bad. It would have given me some closure.

 

This is where the weird part starts. When my friend went to ask her, the girl told my friend that no, she didn't have a boyfriend nor she liked anyone. However, she asked my friend to tell her "male" friend that she did have one, because she 'didn't like that' (what was 'that' is unclear). 

 

Now, my friend and I are very suspicious about the aforementioned phrase, because it was worded so awkwardly it doesn't seem to have any sense other than she not liking boys. We argues between ourselves that if she didn't like having a guy send a friend in his place (and thus, being a coward), she would have said it clearly, instead of saying 'she didn't like that'. 

 

The thing is, my friend is urging me to write a letter to her. But I have some doubts. Should I do it, or should I leave her alone? If I do write her a letter, should I tell her the truth about me being a girl or should I continue charading as a man? If I do continue charading as a man and I find out she actually does like boys, wouldn't it be bad to lie to her continually? And if it becomes clear she likes girls, wouldn't it be awkward to confess I am a girl? Not to mention I'm not attractive and I'm kinda chubby, so what would she ever see in me if she ever knew?

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I think you should find a better way to ask if she is into guys or not, pretending to be a guy to get close to her does not sound like a good idea imo. If you are too shy, just get another friend to ask her directly if shes into girls, and if she asks why, just say someone is interested in you without revealing who you are. Whether or not she finds you attractive is entirely up to her though.

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I think you should try and get to know her a bit more then ask her (you'll be able to tell when you should ask. There will be slight 'signs'). But I'd avoid writing a letter and charading as a guy, lordt so much trouble right there. Be honest, but don't get too messy lol.

 

If you just straight up ask her:

What's the worst that can happen? She turns you down and says she's not into girls? 

 

But it's freshman year of uni, enjoy yourself and don't regret (:

Good luck!

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I think you should find a better way to ask if she is into guys or not, pretending to be a guy to get close to her does not sound like a good idea imo. If you are too shy, just get another friend to ask her directly if shes into girls, and if she asks why, just say someone is interested in you without revealing who you are. Whether or not she finds you attractive is entirely up to her though.

 

 

Honestly don't do it. If I were you I'd get to know her first, become friends first.

 

 

Just get to know her, I think. The more time you spend around her the more time you will pick up on signs.

 

 

I think you should try and get to know her a bit more then ask her (you'll be able to tell when you should ask. There will be slight 'signs'). But I'd avoid writing a letter and charading as a guy, lordt so much trouble right there. Be honest, but don't get too messy lol.

 

If you just straight up ask her:

What's the worst that can happen? She turns you down and says she's not into girls? 

 

But it's freshman year of uni, enjoy yourself and don't regret (:

Good luck!

 

But how? Should I come clean and talk to her personally? Tell her about liking her but wanting to get to know her?

 

 

Let's not act like people 'opinion' don't matter, because there is something called bullying out there.

 

3MkYgNr.gif

 

Yeah, that's actually the main reason why I didn't want to tell her in person. While my friends have been supportive thus far, you never know what would happen if you out yourself more publicly and you don't have that much of people to defend you.

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i'm about to graduate university, and i think i agree with others that it was a mistake to use a third person, rather than ask her yourself.

 

imo, i think she told your friend to say she had a boyfriend because she may have meant she doesn't want to be involved or have to deal with a guy interested in her (especially bc the way she sees it is that a guy is too afraid to just ask her herself - i've had people ask me out in roundabout ways or using a friend and it's really not attractive).

 

i think the letter idea is cute and very tv or movie like, but i don't think it's the best idea in a real life scenario. i think the best thing is to just casually approach her with no ulterior motive other than getting to know her. if you end up being friends, you'll learn if she's interested in girls or relationships in general. i think writing a letter and charading as a guy has the potential to make her feel uncomfortable, at least, that's how i think many people would feel. don't do any of this dramatic kind of stuff hon, just keep it casual and become friends. who knows, something might happen from there :)

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But how? Should I come clean and talk to her personally? Tell her about liking her but wanting to get to know her?

 

Yeah, that's actually the main reason why I didn't want to tell her in person. While my friends have been supportive thus far, you never know what would happen if you out yourself more publicly and you don't have that much of people to defend you.

Welp I think the starting point will be actually talking to her and getting to know her a little bit.

From there you can decide the next step. Remain friends or figure out if she likes girls (that's another possible roadblock for you).

 

I guess it depends on your personality type as well. But I've had my fair share of crushes while I was a freshman (but my uni was very large). So it's kind of like, hey - you probably won't run into them again if you do ask them. 

 

If you foresee yourself not having a friendship with her then just go the letter route. Write anonymously but be honest. Your main goal is just finding out if she likes girls right? Then you'll be all set  :meow:

 

You'll figure it out, trust.

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Welp I think the starting point will be actually talking to her and getting to know her a little bit.

From there you can decide the next step. Remain friends or figure out if she likes girls (that's another possible roadblock for you).

 

I guess it depends on your personality type as well. But I've had my fair share of crushes while I was a freshman (but my uni was very large). So it's kind of like, hey - you probably won't run into them again if you do ask them. 

 

If you foresee yourself not having a friendship with her then just go the letter route. Write anonymously but be honest. Your main goal is just finding out if she likes girls right? Then you'll be all set  :meow:

 

You'll figure it out, trust.

Yeah, the thing is that our uni is small, and as I said before, our classrooms are next to each other, and we freshmen barely change classrooms, so seeing her is a must. I think that what I am going to do is send her a letter telling her the truth and asking her if she wants to get to know me, no expectations for a romantic relationship. Thanks for your input.

 

PD: I just clicked report instead of reply and sent my reply to you to the moderators. I'm dead  :._.:

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