How can I make my life betteri

[coolcoolcool]

I wish I had enough money and skills and friends to just run away from home and never come back like in the movies and stuff but life isn't a movie and I'm stuck.

And it's just so hard to be patient is just so fucking hard sometimes.

And I want to do well in school but it's just so hard because English isn't my first language and I can't think of anything for my essay and I end up delaying stuff and sitting and on my computer and I can't deal.

And my dad.. I just hate him. I hate him so much and no matter what I do we fight and he yells and I am so tired of trying to please him and it doesn't work and I end up feeling depressed and I a little suicidal like now.

And I have friends and stuff but when I tell my close friends I can hear how much they pity me and I don't like that feeling.

And I'm trying to get a therapist and spoke to my family doctor about it so don't write comments like get professional help because I'm trying too.

I just miss the times when  everything was nice and before my mom died and before me moved. And I see all my friends back home having fun on social media and I'm so jealous because I can't even remember how it feels, I don't remember how is it like to be happy and that scares me and it doesn't feel like I'm going to happy ever again and maybe that's why I can't figure out what to write on my essay because it's on childhood memories

I don't know why I'm writing this, like I thought it would make me feel better but now when I'm done I actually feel worse and I felt worse the first time after I complained about my dad too and it's so attention sicking idk if anyone will even reply 

[Rapmon's Ahjussi Husband]

Well it's life, is not gonna be pretty all the time, you are not gonna get help all the time, it's a passage to adulthood, trust me that is a pain we all must go through, your friends on social media will have to pass it too, you are just seeing frozen pics of moments that doesn't represent the totality of their lifes, if you can't go to therapy I recommend you go to some bookstore and check some material that may help you understand what you are going through right now; it will pass 100 % guaranteed, your dad may be horrible but you need to see the bigger picture, it must be complicated for him too

[Dilemmax]

I did this for buy my pills once: just lie at your parents and search any kind of help, be like that won't help you, you should do something for yourself and stand whole the suffering won't help, if you are more than eighteen, look for a work and when u got the money enough, just be free.

[B612]

You should write your feelings, anyone who reads will be able to understand you better so write about the happy and sad moments of your childhood because they are important. 

 

You can PM me if you are feeling like talking to someone, I know life is hard and cruel, the first or second thought we have is to give up but it's amazing that we all can keep going, so please keep going, right now it can be awful but the future can be amazing so be patient and stay strong. 

[korimi]

... I don't know what to say because what you're going through right now is very very hard.... Cheering you up through words might not help... I just want you to know that I understand your feelings... God is only challenging you to mold your strong self. Yes, you are weak and vulnerable right now but He only wants you to be stronger than your current self. 

[iKonBrat]

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way and I hope things get better soon.

 

I know how you feel. I have a lot of things I'm working on but I feel like my progress is very slow and I'm really frustrated. My friend told me that I need to focus on the things that are getting better and the things that I have managed to improve because that's proof that at least I'm closer to my goals today than yesterday.

 

All of those things in your life that you're struggling with now can be improved, it's just gonna take time. You are trying to find the help you need and even if it's hard you haven't given up on your goals. Your relationship with your dad may be difficult now, but its still possible you two will be able to understand each other in time.

 

Just try to work on one thing at a time, if you can. And try not to put extra pressure on yourself if possible. For me, it makes things take longer

 

As for the essay, try to think of one good memory you do have. I don't have many but I have at least a very few that don't make me feel bad. if you don't have any at all maybe its time to get creative and make some up. or write a friend's childhood memory.

[♩ ♪ ♫ ♬]

i went through something like that but my parents were at home and i was living with relatives who told me daily how fat and lazy i was and how my thighs touched when i walked because i gained weight, which led me to starve, binge, whatever. i was ok at english though but i still felt blocked when writing essays so i just google every of my sentences to see if they exist and written better on the internet so i could write something like that, over time my english became better and came out quicker (don't use my posts on OH to judge my english tho). then something happened with my braces and i had muscle pain, relatives told me i was seeking attention, kicked me out...... distanced myself from friends, they got mad because i canceled on them and hid from them..........

 

hmmm anyway i'm not in a competition with you to see who had it harder or anything, but these times in life can be hard and confusing...