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Why is it so difficult to realize theres plenty of fish in the sea, when we like only that person?

uridasi

By uridasi
in Love & Relationships

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uridasi Idol

uridasi

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I know there's prettier and gentle guys out there. But why is it so difficult to everyone to admit there's plenty of fish in the sea, when we like someone? I know we give value to that person, and so we start to get thirsty about them... What do you all think?

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GalaxunnieSuperOppa Global Superstar

GalaxunnieSuperOppa

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There's not plenty of fish in the sea. It's close to impossible to find a girl who I truly love that has a perfect personality that matches to mine.

 

There is! But you must live in a "small world". Travel far and you might finally find the perfect girl hun! 

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uridasi Idol

uridasi

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I've been sad these days because of that. I hate loving this guy I revolved him with such good features. I think we match perfectly and he's already part of my world. But I can't get any closer to him.

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Hermit_Kingdom Superstar

Hermit_Kingdom

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I've been sad these days because of that. I hate loving this guy I revolved him with such good features. I think we match perfectly and he's already part of my world. But I can't get any closer to him.

First of all, I sympathise and it's really hard to detach yourself from someone you like that much. The problem is, it becomes a continuous feedback - you like them, you exaggerate their good qualities, and so round goes the roundabout until it seems they are the only person you could ever want. It's not like that by a long shot; I would actually suggest that if you can't get any closer, than probably that is a good sign that you are not that compatible, and you would actually be much better off with someone else. Start detaching yourself from this person gradually - see less of them, and slowly give yourself time to heal as you go. Good luck :)

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nekoneko Superstar

nekoneko

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you know, i really needed to read this sentence right now. there are better guys out there.  :unsure:

 

But I keep asking to myself "will i be able to find someone as good/pretty/smart/friendly as him?" 

 

even if actually he's just trash with me

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GinInsideMyTonic Debutee

GinInsideMyTonic

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Because you (=your brain) decided that things have to go like that and won't accept any other option if you try to change your mind "forcefully", like deciding: "I won't think about him anymore, stop."

 

The "trick", at least the one that worked for me, was to concentrate on myself. On my dreams, on finding new things to do, on dedicating time to treat myself. By doing this you help your brain to swap its focus from your love interest to yourself, and this will help you to see things in a more "detached" way and to actually see the plenty other fishes around you - or decide that you don't really care about fishes at the moment :)

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Krizzza Idol

Krizzza

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Because I have too high standards and it's almost impossible to find someone who I like. 

I have been liking one girl for more than a year now. We had something then she went back to her boyfriend and now that she has broken up with him I once again has those stupid feelings for her. 

Our brains are just too fucked up to understand that there are other poeple who might be even better than those who we like now but when you find someone you like they are perfect. At least in your fucked up brain 

But remember: Life is beautiful!

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denizen mars Global Superstar

denizen mars

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I do indeed live in a small world. I have such severe social anxiety and depression that even leaving my apartment is such a difficult thing to do.

 

well bud sounds like you need to work on the social anxiety and agoraphobia first before you even worry about finding someone to spend your life with or anything like that. because it's not good to live like that

 

 

 

I just hate that the venn diagram of people I find attractive and people that are available for me to date never intersects. feels like the most appealing people are found appealing by other people first...so they're already taken

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리�윤 Global Superstar

리�윤

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there's a phase in my life that i couldn't stop thinking about my ex. she already had a new bf, n worse when she tried to break him up n back to me i kinda encourage her not to because it would be bad for her campus life. n for so long i can't even forget her. i tried everything, such as find a new one, tried hating her, convince my self that i do not love her, etc.

 

but someday i realize, she is the first one i really love, n i'm gonna keep it that way. but suddenly i felt really light. i realize something, the moment you accept everything is the moment you can move on. not only that you have to accept that she's/he's not yours anymore, but your feeling for her too, n your life is still on with or without her/him. everything will bloom eventually, we don't know when, how, what, or who but they will, in time.

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