Nyul 734 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Okay so I have this best friend, we've been friends for a lil more than a year now. She recently started dating (but not together yet) a close friend of ours. The thing is, I think I may have a crush on her? I don't know, since we first became friends, I've always thought that she was really really pretty and she's really smart too, which attracted me to her, but not in a sexual way. As time goes by, we got really close and I was starting to think that I might actually go gay for her, but I kept telling myself that I'm straight as hell. However, when she started dating that guy, she spent less time together and I actually think I got jealous over the fact that she's spending a lot of time with him. We actually fought because I was being really salty over this whole situation. One day, she started kissing me on the cheek and she seemed to like doing that because she got used to it and now she's kissing my cheek like every single day. When she first kissed my cheek, I really think my heart skipped a beat. She has this certain way of staring at me, and I hope I'm not being delusional but it really looks like it was full of 'love'? I've caught her staring at me a few times with that same kind of look, but I've never said anything about it. Just last week, she joked around with her guy that she might actually be bi. She joked about that quite a few times and now I'm actually hoping that it might be real :') I've always told myself that I'm as straight as a ruler, but after meeting her, I don't know anymore. Is it just a girl crush kind of thing? or do I really like her? She's been joking around that I am definitely not straight, but it always ends with a "just kidding". She probably knows hahahaha. Being homosexual is against my religion though, so I kind a pulling myself back. Please help this poor soul thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eriy.m 2,900 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I would just continue being friends but I'd stop the "flirting" or the "responding to her flirting" . She obviously doesn't know what the hell she wants. So keep it cold until she makes a move or doesn't, time will tell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Its possible that you are straight, but because of your emotional attachment to her you may have developed romantic or sexual feelings for her if said emotional attachment manifested. Some people can be selective in thier partners, in other words they are not gay but they have loved a person of the same sex. This is just me talking, adults are not stupid. If your friend is kissing you on the cheek and says "I am joking" either she is really comfortable around you or she may (in some way) like you back and is talking baby steps to get you to soften up to the idea. If don't want to be gay, don't be. In other words don't flirt (that won't help you) back if being around her makes you feel, "those feelings" you may want to be put more of a distance between you and your friend so that maybe she gets the message and your resolve can strengthen. If religion is the reason you don't want to be gay, find some comfort in holy texts and spend time in prayer; mentally if you convince yourself of something you will eventually believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kw_ 8,023 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Okay, first off, as a bisexual person whose religion isn't really accepting of LGBT: Allow yourself to break that rule. If you feel like you have homosexual tendencies, don't let your religion stop you because that's just gonna make you stressed as fuck trust me. You can still be religious even if you're attracted to the same gender Next off... I also relate to you getting a straight-crush with your taken best friend. Honestly, maybe it's not the same for you but my feelings faded after a while (after like half a year lmAo). Try not to be too touchy with her because that might make the feelings stronger, but stay her friend. The more she talks about her boyfriend or liking guys, I think you'll eventually be able to appreciate how she lights up when she talks about that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rendezvous 1,472 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I thought I was reading my own story with the first two paragraphs I faced the exact same thing a few months ago, the only difference was I realized my feelings for her even before she started dating her current boyfriend. Somehow I felt like she was trying to avoid me since being gay was against my religion too, we drifted apart and it was sad to think about really. So we went our separate ways but it was pretty hard to not care about each other when we practically study within the same university Long story short, it took us at least a month(?) to befriended each other again and I decided to let go of my feelings. It still hurts to think about it sometimes but I rather prioritize our friendship before anything else To answer your question, it could be just a girl crush, it could be just attachment and it could be real feelings too. If both of you willing to talk about it, I see no harm in trying to do so. If not, try to sort out your feelings i.e spend less time with her, minimize skinship with her, etc. Also, it helps a lot if you have someone in real life that you could rely on if the outcome turns bad. I wish you good luck tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Okay, first off, as a bisexual person whose religion isn't really accepting of LGBT: Allow yourself to break that rule. If you feel like you have homosexual tendencies, don't let your religion stop you because that's just gonna make you stressed as fuck trust me. You can still be religious even if you're attracted to the same gender Next off... I also relate to you getting a straight-crush with your taken best friend. Honestly, maybe it's not the same for you but my feelings faded after a while (after like half a year lmAo). Try not to be too touchy with her because that might make the feelings stronger, but stay her friend. The more she talks about her boyfriend or liking guys, I think you'll eventually be able to appreciate how she lights up when she talks about that stuff. Implying what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kw_ 8,023 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Implying what? Implying... nothing...? I just mean that same-sex attraction doesn't need to be a burden just because your religion (or those who preach it) say so. (Did I word myself weird, what did it sound like I was saying?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥SNS-Shinomiya♥ 420 Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Implying... nothing...? I just mean that same-sex attraction doesn't need to be a burden just because your religion (or those who preach it) say so. (Did I word myself weird, what did it sound like I was saying?) Its just sort of logic seems sad. I think if religion is important (even to deny physical urges) to someone, should people not want to encourage them to be more resolved in thier choice provided said choice doesn't cause physical harm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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