BadBadNotGood 11,616 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Sorry for the long read but I really need some advice. My cousin (well actually she's my aunt but we just call her cousin because of how close in age she is to us) lost her mom (my grandmother) yesterday. I tried calling but she didn't pick up so I sent a text asking if she needed anything to just call me. She said that she's fine and thanked me. Now it's the next day and I'm not exactly sure what I should do. Should I give her some space and call her in a couple days or call her today? I just don't know because she "jokingly" says that none of us did anything for her or her mother except like 3 family members. But she did say that we (me and my sister) came back in the end so she is grateful, I suppose. All of my relatives became disconnected over the years and I guess she felt hurt by it. It really isn't fair of her because my mom is sick too, almost died, but she didn't help or call to check on us either but I'm just going to keep that water under the bridge. I've never been through a death in the family but I accepted the possibility of losing my grandmother a long time ago. Please tell me what to do if you've been in this situation because I'm just so lost on how to help. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanda_spirit 14,653 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 You should give her time.. if she didn't pick up that means she wants to be alone. so leave her alone for now and if you don't receive any texts / calls from her this week then send a text telling her that if she wants to call you she can do it anytime. When someone loses a parent it's really hard to talk about it. They don't wanna be bothered by people (even family) asking if they are alright 24/7. You know what I mean right? It's already good that you called her and sent a text.. you said that she's grateful, she knows that you think about her, don't worry! PS : I wasn't in that situation but I think that's what's best for her (and you, because you will be awkward if you call her now) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nini Bear 3,530 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 hello! my parent died too. I think it's okay to leave her a message that you'll be there for her when she needs. for now it seems like she prefers alone time. there's no point pushing it. if you're really worried you could always try again some other time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loketâ™” 4,144 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Give her space for a few days,call her after 2-3 days and ask her if she needs something and just kinda talk to her to make her feel a little bit better,this is really hard for me too,when someone from my friends family dies I don't know what to do so I just don't talk to them 2-3 days (no one does) and then we go out and I do like literally anything to make them happy and to see smile on their face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dasom's Nose 1,100 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 let her be give her some space you already texted her so if she needs anything she'll call you. i know it's frustrating not knowing what to do but all you can do is wait. losing a parent is never an easy thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadBadNotGood 11,616 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Share Posted August 2, 2016 let her be give her some space you already texted her so if she needs anything she'll call you. i know it's frustrating not knowing what to do but all you can do is wait. losing a parent is never an easy thing. Give her space for a few days,call her after 2-3 days and ask her if she needs something and just kinda talk to her to make her feel a little bit better,this is really hard for me too,when someone from my friends family dies I don't know what to do so I just don't talk to them 2-3 days (no one does) and then we go out and I do like literally anything to make them happy and to see smile on their face hello! my parent died too. I think it's okay to leave her a message that you'll be there for her when she needs. for now it seems like she prefers alone time. there's no point pushing it. if you're really worried you could always try again some other time. You should give her time.. if she didn't pick up that means she wants to be alone. so leave her alone for now and if you don't receive any texts / calls from her this week then send a text telling her that if she wants to call you she can do it anytime. When someone loses a parent it's really hard to talk about it. They don't wanna be bothered by people (even family) asking if they are alright 24/7. You know what I mean right? It's already good that you called her and sent a text.. you said that she's grateful, she knows that you think about her, don't worry! PS : I wasn't in that situation but I think that's what's best for her (and you, because you will be awkward if you call her now) Thank you so much for the advice. I will call her on Friday. Hopefully that's enough time. You guys really helped me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetswan 223 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 I remember when my mom died, i locked my self in my room and didn't want to talk to anyone for weeks...i think you should give her some time and besides you already told her to call you if she needed anything...don't worry she will get over her grief eventually... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadBadNotGood 11,616 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Share Posted August 2, 2016 I remember when my mom died, i locked my self in my room and didn't want to talk to anyone for weeks...i think you should give her some time and besides you already told her to call you if she needed anything...don't worry she will get over her grief eventually... Thank you for your advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanda_spirit 14,653 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Thank you so much for the advice. I will call her on Friday. Hopefully that's enough time. You guys really helped me. no problem, I'm glad I could help you (: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Usermon 208 Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 Leave her alone but be there for her when she needs you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xharuharux 2,487 Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 time heals all, but make sure you let her know and physically show that you are here for her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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