KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I just wanted some explanation about this, because I feel really weird with this guy at work. When I first met him (or introduced) I seemed quite nervous when he told me that he got the job based on a competition he won for the company. Obviously I was very surprised and said things like "Wow really? that's amazing etc." I just fumbled those words without thinking. Didn't happen with anyone else. Then when I was going home one time, he took the same elevator as me, I acted like an idiot again because I was standing strangely, and it just felt awkward. He doesn't work with me or anything, but he does come over to talk to my colleague who sits next to me. For some reason he came over a few times (more than usual) today and I went to the other side to talk to someone, he usually avoids eye contact with me, but rested his arm on my chair for a while. I don't know, it just feels like we're avoiding contact with each other, even though we hardly know each other, unless I'm overthinking it? I'm not saying he does, but maybe I'm sending mixed signals. I don't want a relationship, I just don't understand why I am acting like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffybubbles 2,699 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 when he does make eye contact dilated pupils are often a sign of attraction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany 8,837 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Depends on his personality. If I like a person, I'd avoid him so as to prevent myself from making things obvious, because if I do, I'd feel like I'm losing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiganticMint121 764 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Sometimes, when a person wants to be around you a lot, that is a sign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCT48 4,208 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 when he does make eye contact dilated pupils are often a sign of attraction Or fear because you staring at his eyes close enough to notice them dilate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 when he does make eye contact dilated pupils are often a sign of attraction I can't look at him like that to notice it Depends on his personality. If I like a person, I'd avoid him so as to prevent myself from making things obvious, because if I do, I'd feel like I'm losing. Hmm. I don't know, I mean when his team has a weekly catch up, for some weird reason some of the people in the team tend to stare at me, this has happened a few times. I mean my team was talking about something and I was looking at my colleague and the guy behind her thought I was looking at him, and stared back which was awkward. Then I think he told him "Don't be so awkward, she wasn't looking at you." I have seen him look at me with his colleagues too. I don't know its confusing lol. But yeah, it does appear he is avoiding me though, but his tone is fine and actions are normal. No idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aiji 53 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I just wanted some explanation about this, because I feel really weird with this guy at work. When I first met him (or introduced) I seemed quite nervous when he told me that he got the job based on a competition he won for the company. Obviously I was very surprised and said things like "Wow really? that's amazing etc." I just fumbled those words without thinking. Didn't happen with anyone else. Then when I was going home one time, he took the same elevator as me, I acted like an idiot again because I was standing strangely, and it just felt awkward. He doesn't work with me or anything, but he does come over to talk to my colleague who sits next to me. For some reason he came over a few times (more than usual) today and I went to the other side to talk to someone, he usually avoids eye contact with me, but rested his arm on my chair for a while. I don't know, it just feels like we're avoiding contact with each other, even though we hardly know each other, unless I'm overthinking it? What are the subtle signs, if someone likes you? I'm not saying he does, but maybe I'm sending mixed signals. I don't want a relationship, I just don't understand why I am acting so strangely. I dunno about the signs.. but in times like this, I always choose to be frank. Maybe I'll ask him what's his problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 I dunno about the signs.. but in times like this, I always choose to be frank. Maybe I'll ask him what's his problem Nah, that would make things really awkward. I'd probably just act normal, if he wants to talk, sure but if not I guess I shouldn't worry about it. However, I do tend to act weird around him for no reason... ugh I even got happy for a while because he rested his arm on my chair a few times etc. I don't understand myself, I don't even want a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Your Flop Fave 2,366 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 It sounds so much like Shounen Ai lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunneva 3,164 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I suggest you to try to analyze what's his personality first, does he act like that with others girls ? Is he very nervous like that in the daily life ? It may also because you look nervous next to him tho so he feel uncomfortable. Honestly, just try to talk with him like you want to be friends or to greet him everyday. He will think that - if he loves you - he have a chance so he will take the advantage. So he will start to talk with you first instead of you. The signs are more obvious here most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 It sounds so much like Shounen Ai lmao That was not my intention this really has happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitchcraft 1,377 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Signs of someone liking you is, i guess them trying to spend as much time with you as possible. If he doesn't give you attention, he clearly don't give a fuck. That's how boys work. Now you said he comes over sometimes for no reason and stuff, so maybe he wanna hang around you? And he avoids eye contact... Um shy people would do that with someone they like, is he shy? And you clearly like him lol, why not want a relationship if he ever reciprocates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blank_stare 2,217 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Only way to find out is confrontation. Ask the dude if he likes you or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilemmax 291 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 He had looked at you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newnewgudgud 22 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 If he keeps coming over only to talk to the person sitting beside you there's something there..he's probably trying to muster the courage to properly talk to you...you acting nervous and strange is also a sign that you might have a crush on him...he's probably interested in you but does not know how to approach you yet hence the casual resting of arm...guys do that all the time when they want attention..you should just start out a conversation and act as normal as possible...observe how the guy is and then conclude what is the deal...just talk to him.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 Signs of someone liking you is, i guess them trying to spend as much time with you as possible. If he doesn't give you attention, he clearly don't give a fuck. That's how boys work. Now you said he comes over sometimes for no reason and stuff, so maybe he wanna hang around you? And he avoids eye contact... Um shy people would do that with someone they like, is he shy? And you clearly like him lol, why not want a relationship if he ever reciprocates? Well, something weird happened today. I had my headphones in, and he came over again to meet his friend, and they were sitting behind me. I think one of his friends said to him "There's your girlfriend" then he replied "Shut up!". He then said "Good she can't hear me, that would be so awkward.". I couldn't make out the rest. I have seen him look at me a few times today. I don't want a relationship, for many reasons. Also because I don't intend to mix my work with personal stuff, it just makes it easier for people to gossip and the people he is with, is known for that. I'd rather be careful. His personality I am unsure about, and we seem like a bit of a mismatch too since we come from different backgrounds. But yeah, I am confused really. I am getting more nervous because it seems his friend knows something. Just a feeling. He had looked at you? Few times, especially when he is with his friends. However, he doesn't talk to me or anything. We don't even work with each other. If he keeps coming over only to talk to the person sitting beside you there's something there..he's probably trying to muster the courage to properly talk to you...you acting nervous and strange is also a sign that you might have a crush on him...he's probably interested in you but does not know how to approach you yet hence the casual resting of arm...guys do that all the time when they want attention..you should just start out a conversation and act as normal as possible...observe how the guy is and then conclude what is the deal...just talk to him.. He rested his arm on my chair when I was with my other colleague, not when I was sitting on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hima__ 449 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 he is probably interested in you and want to hang with you? but if you're not interested to have a relationship with him then just ignore it. don't overthink it and just work normally because if he indeed likes you and you notice it and keeps wondering about it, it kinds of giving him hope because if you don't care and just casually pretend you don't notice it, it might give him signal that you don't like him more than colleague. again, if you don't want to start a relationship with him. I honestly agree with you though. I really don't want to mix work with personal stuff. Gossip goes around so fast in working place and sometimes even things that never happen go around and then you have to go to work with people talking about your private matters as if it is theirs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 he is probably interested in you and want to hang with you? but if you're not interested to have a relationship with him then just ignore it. don't overthink it and just work normally because if he indeed likes you and you notice it and keeps wondering about it, it kinds of giving him hope because if you don't care and just casually pretend you don't notice it, it might give him signal that you don't like him more than colleague. again, if you don't want to start a relationship with him. I honestly agree with you though. I really don't want to mix work with personal stuff. Gossip goes around so fast in working place and sometimes even things that never happen go around and then you have to go to work with people talking about your private matters as if it is theirs Mainly its because of that really. I don't want to mix work with personal stuff. I haven't there too long and already I am getting these things. I don't feel comfortable about it. Also, he is not the only one who has acted strangely with me either, so I am guessing I am also attracting the wrong type of attention from certain men. Yeah, I am better off just concentrating on myself. If he wants to talk, sure but I won't force the issue. I also don't like his friend, because I have seen him gossip, and be mean to people...so meh. However, I do feel strange. I should probably just stop thinking about it. I have decided I will update this thread, if anything else happens haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hima__ 449 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Mainly its because of that really. I don't want to mix work with personal stuff. I haven't there too long and already I am getting these things. I don't feel comfortable about it. Also, he is not the only one who has acted strangely with me either, so I am guessing I am also attracting the wrong type of attention from certain men. Yeah, I am better off just concentrating on myself. If he wants to talk, sure but I won't force the issue. I also don't like his friend, because I have seen him gossip, and be mean to people...so meh. However, I do feel strange. I should probably just stop thinking about it. I have decided I will update this thread, if anything else happens haha. awww, you have't been there too long and they already make you uncomfortable with all those things be strong and all the best! just focus on yourself and your work (get that money!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 awww, you have't been there too long and they already make you uncomfortable with all those things be strong and all the best! just focus on yourself and your work (get that money!) I'm trying to, but I still feel weird. Today, my manager bought some treats for the office because its his birthday, he sits all the way on the other side, and he came twice. Once he talked to the manager, and his arms were crossed whilst he looked at me. Then he took a cookie, not too long before I did, and this random girl who was sitting next to me said "Your taste is weird" whilst looking at me, and he said "No its not. I like red velvet cookies." However, when he came again... there was nobody else besides me, and this other guy (who is married) he said "I'm attracted to you." quite loudly whilst looking and smiling at me. Oh god, my reaction though I looked at him in the corner of my eye, blinked nervously a few times whilst quickly looking away. I couldn't even stare at him. Then the married guy looked at me then him, then changed the topic, to say as though the treats were tempting. Am I being paranoid. However, it is weird to say that though...idk so confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hima__ 449 Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 he clearly likes you... However, when he came again... there was nobody else besides me, and this other guy (who is married) he said "I'm attracted to you." quite loudly whilst looking and smiling at me. Oh god, my reaction though I looked at him in the corner of my eye, blinked nervously a few times whilst quickly looking away. I couldn't even stare at him. Then the married guy looked at me then him, then changed the topic, to say as though the treats were tempting. I'm sorry but I didn't understand this part quite well. Was the guy who is acting weird towards you the one who said "I'm attracted to you"? Let's call the guy as X in order not to confused him with someone else^^;;; I understand that you just can't help being conscious with all of his action because he made it too obvious but really, just try your best to pretend you don't notice those things and act like you're uninterested with him because he will get tired and stop doing those things if you don't show any reaction. He probably did that because he found amusement from your reaction. Don't even glance at him or give him any attention. If he comes to you and stands near you, keep doing your stuff and probably subtly moves away a bit. If he talks to someone who sits beside you, just keep continue doing your work and literally closing your ears or if you feel uncomfortable, you can excuse yourself and go to somewhere else. But hmmm... or maybe you can smile or talk to him and show him that you're uninterested and just see him as a colleague? Sometimes there are guys who think women are just too shy or just play hard to get when we ignore them even though we clearly don't like it and totally feel uncomfortable. So, maybe you can butt in into the conversation and play along? for example, if someone tells him something that might be referring to you, just jump into the conversation. for example when that random girl said, "your taste is weird." and he said, "no it's not. i like red velvet cookies." maybe you can say, "yeah, red velvet cookies is nice though. maybe you should give it a try?" something like that? ugh, I'm sorry I can't be that much of help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roamingcat 767 Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Girl don't look for any signs. If a guy likes you, he will let you know, one way or another. Don't take anything less than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Is Here 979 Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 It's kind of obvious that he likes you. I don't know how to react too to bs honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Share Posted July 24, 2016 he clearly likes you... I'm sorry but I didn't understand this part quite well. Was the guy who is acting weird towards you the one who said "I'm attracted to you"? Let's call the guy as X in order not to confused him with someone else^^;;; I understand that you just can't help being conscious with all of his action because he made it too obvious but really, just try your best to pretend you don't notice those things and act like you're uninterested with him because he will get tired and stop doing those things if you don't show any reaction. He probably did that because he found amusement from your reaction. Don't even glance at him or give him any attention. If he comes to you and stands near you, keep doing your stuff and probably subtly moves away a bit. If he talks to someone who sits beside you, just keep continue doing your work and literally closing your ears or if you feel uncomfortable, you can excuse yourself and go to somewhere else. But hmmm... or maybe you can smile or talk to him and show him that you're uninterested and just see him as a colleague? Sometimes there are guys who think women are just too shy or just play hard to get when we ignore them even though we clearly don't like it and totally feel uncomfortable. So, maybe you can butt in into the conversation and play along? for example, if someone tells him something that might be referring to you, just jump into the conversation. for example when that random girl said, "your taste is weird." and he said, "no it's not. i like red velvet cookies." maybe you can say, "yeah, red velvet cookies is nice though. maybe you should give it a try?" something like that? ugh, I'm sorry I can't be that much of help Yes it was him, not the married guy haha. I just got flustered because some guys in my office turned around as well. I think some even gossiped about me saying mean stuff :( even when I did not do anything. I guess I could, but its just awkward. I cannot afford more drama at work. I did that once and he was staring and smiling at me... we do not work together though and he sits on the other side, yet he came over twice for rather pointless reasons. I guess so but its still a reaction... maybe I could be ok with him, see if he responds. Maybe he is getting a kick out of my shyness. No you are very helpful thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted July 24, 2016 Author Share Posted July 24, 2016 Girl don't look for any signs. If a guy likes you, he will let you know, one way or another. Don't take anything less than that. True. Its rather lame. I prefer honest and sincere approach. It's kind of obvious that he likes you. I don't know how to react too to bs honest. Guys are confusing lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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