Living together before being married?

[Mr. Squirrel Princess]

Do you think it is wrong?

 

I personally wouldn't marry someone I haven't lived together with before marriage. I know long term couples who have moved in together and found out that they couldn't handle living together. What would have happened if they would have gotten married and moved in together?

 

Bonus k-netizens comments on this issue

 

Bit of BG: Korean society in general is really adverse to people living with their significant others before marriage because it's assumed you're going to be having sex all the time, etc. If it's found that you have history of having lived with a bf/gf (especially for girls), it's seen as a negative past and grounds for break up. I see tons of posts come up on Pann and other boards all the time of girls scared about their fiances finding out about their past of having briefly lived with someone and whether or not to tell them and risk being dumped. 

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Article: Horan's confident statement "Why is living with your s/o before marriage bad?"

Source: OSEN via Nate

Geum Bora: "It's ridiculous to live your life by living with one person and breaking up with them and then living with another person and breaking up with them. Just because you're living away from your parents does not mean you're competely separated from them. Parents have decision making rights in the lives of their children."

Horan: "Why is living with your s/o before marriage a bad thing? It's the stigma attached to it that's bad because there's nothing wrong with living with someone you love. Even if you end up breaking up with that person, that's the responsibility of the individual, not his or her parents. Times are changing and I'm not asking for people to view this as a good thing but to view it with an open mind and accept that it happens."

1. [+513, -87] "Even if you end up breaking up with that person, that's the responsibility of the individual, not his or her parents." She's right.

2. [+490, -108] I feel like Horan would be the type of mom who when her daughter approaches her about living with someone before marriage, she wouldn't reprimand her but rather sincerely ask if that man loves her, if she can trust that person, how she's going to protect her body, what birth control she's going to use, etc. Horan seems like a very open minded person... I like that she doesn't think of her child as her possession.

3. [+398, -207] Well she's not wrong. You can find out about whether you really want to marry this person or not by living with them beforehand since it's a life changing decision that only comes once or twice in your life. The bad thing is the stigma attached to it and the idiots who treat you like a sl*t if you do it. 

4. [+79, -18] People need to stop thinking that living with someone pre-marriage = sex. You can have sex without necessarily living with them, you know. 

5. [+66, -61] She will find out why it's bad when she has kids of her own and her kids say what she's saying now...

6. [+61, -19] Think about your fiance having a history of living with someone else before marriage. How does that make you feel? I would totally dump my girlfriend if I found out that she had a past like that to her.

7. [+56, -0] You all better tell the truth about your past to your future husbands or wives before you get married

8. [+53, -4] People should only choose to live together if they're really set on getting married in the future. For any other reason, it's just dirty. You're basically admitting that you want to enjoy a non commital sex life, which I see a lot of people choose to do. 

9. [+37, -3] I doubt everyone in favor of living together before marriage would like it if their own bf/gf had such a past to them. If the person I was going to marry had such a past, I'd break up with them immediately. 

10. [+34, -4] I'm only for it if you're engaged and you have the permission of both sides of the parents. 

11. [+32, -1] I don't really care what people do, as long as they don't lie about it and make sure to tell whoever they date next that they have such a past to them. 

12. [+26, -0] The problem is that the people who do go through with it and end up breaking up never tell their next partner that they have a past to them. I don't care what other people do but I don't want the person I love to have a past like that to them. I'd be so pissed off if we got married and I only found out then.
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[Envied]

I don't think it's bad. You have to know how someone lives and how you will co-exist before stepping into marriage. Don't want to have tied the knot and be surprised at what you significant other does.

[gno]

I don't think it's bad. You have to know how someone lives and how you will co-exist before stepping into marriage. Don't want to have tied the knot and be surprised at what you significant other does.

This basically.

[Special*]

So what? You will be having sex before marriage anyway, in all kinds of positions :D

[Little Eight]

You have to know what you are getting yourself into, how can you get married if you don't really know how someone lives on a day to day basis? 

[mirrorpurple ���ムラサキ]

me think its ok

[lovergurl]

I personally think it's a necessity to live together before you get married. I've seen waiting until marriage to live together fail way to many times to recommend it. You just don't know someone until you live with them. Things can go to shit faster than you think.

[Midna]

its better

 

what if you find out after you get married that you guys can't live together...AT ALL?

[Otaku]

Isn't it better to live with the person together first before marrying?

Then both partners can get to know each other, before marrying, and if they do find some flaw that they dislike, then they can just break up without having to go through divorce etc.

I would begin living with my boyfriend before marrying.

[Suga]

Studies showed that couples who didn't live together before marriage had a better chance of the marriage surviving.

 

 

That being said, I wouldn't marry someone I'd never lived with. How am I supposed to know if they have bad habits I don't tolerate? Like not flushing the toilet, for instance.

 

 

Parents have decision making rights in the lives of their children.

not when that "child" is a fucking adult

[Jrump]

It's a very good idea. So many people get married to the person of their dreams only to find out that they can't stand living with them.

[Mog]

I don't think it's a big deal, for many of the reasons already stated, and that it can actually be a good thing for people. I'm just not interested in marriage so for me to wait until marriage is obviously something that wouldn't ever happen. That being said, I've been with my significant other for over four and a half years and we currently live together. Even if marriage was something I wanted to do, I wouldn't ever think about doing it without taking that other step first because you learn a lot about a person when you're stuck under the same roof with them.

[Dragonseu]

I personally wouldn't but some people would.

idc though

 

if u want to, go for it.

if you don't want to then so be it.

[Elle Eaux Elle]

It's very usual here, I wouldn't mind.

[mglsts]

I don't mind it, sometimes it can be beneficial especially if you like the person, but you are unsure if both are compatible in terms of living together.

Personally, if it's meant to be it will work either way, the difference is that living together beforehand might just save you from a bad situation.

[Kazuma Kiryu]

For me i think i wouldn't live together with my girlfriend before marrying.

[beginning]

For me, marriage is just formality. In the old days, I'm sure there were couples who lived happily together and long and peaceful without the official marriage. I'm not saying it's not important, but what's more important here than the paper and the rite is the relationship itself, friendship and love. 

 

This is coming from someone who is living together with her boyfriend. There are many people who says we should get married especially after four years of relationship but aside from still being young, it only adds pressure and I think when the moment is right we'd feel it and we'd do it on our own time and will. I'm not saying never, but not just now. But if my boyfriend asks, I'd surely say yes.

[Broken Youth]

I think it's good idea to live with someone before marriage just as long as both parties are serious about each other and are considering getting married down the line. I think about it as more like a test and if they make it through then signing a piece a paper won't make a difference. The only good thing about marriage are the benefits and the significance it holds to some people. 

[LunarE]

Not at all.

 

I think couples should live together for some time before getting married. Their significant other could always have habits that they can't deal with and wouldn't know unless they lived together.

[иoиo]

no

[Good People]

I'll believe her when she convinces some guy to marry her.

 

(Will probably never happen)

 

 

 

For me, marriage is just formality. In the old days, I'm sure there were couples who lived happily together and long and peaceful without the official marriage. I'm not saying it's not important, but what's more important here than the paper and the rite is the relationship itself, friendship and love. 

 

This is coming from someone who is living together with her boyfriend. There are many people who says we should get married especially after four years of relationship but aside from still being young, it only adds pressure and I think when the moment is right we'd feel it and we'd do it on our own time and will. I'm not saying never, but not just now. But if my boyfriend asks, I'd surely say yes.

In the "old days" marriage was considered extremely important, it's only in modern times that people don't care.

[mvp]

I personally am not against it. I lived with my ex bf of 6 and half years and learned a lot of things. If its for you, I'd say why not. Someone told me before that "You don't really know a person before you've lived with them" and it's the truth imo.

[agasshi02]

I think it's ok but personally I would prefer not doing it. Just some values and traditions.

[sarahh]

I think living with someone before marriage can be a good idea. I think you don't fully know someone until you've lived with them and if you're going to spend the rest of your life with them, why not test it out beforehand? But if you want to wait until after marriage to move in together, I think that's fine too. It's really not that big of a deal.

[Jung�Ha�Sang]

What I don't like is people viewing sex as a bad thing. That just shows the level of maturity within the comments that were mixed in with it. If you are in a relationship and its at the point where you and your partner want to live with each other then by all means do it even if there isn't plans of marriage. Just make sure you take the necessary precaution if an incident will occur that you need to move out. Marriage is over rated. Its better to live with someone before you marry then so that way you will know the pros and cons of living with that person. Plus it leaves room to compromise and work out things that may occur when living together before people that that commitment of marriage.