SECHSKIES (젝스키스) OFFICIAL THREAD

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SechsKies Fanart part 2 

Edited October 18, 2016 by lovelovelove681

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SechsKies Vampire group or King of Anti-aging ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ 

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Kim Jaeduck's IG Update

"My room is filled with ducks. The wall is starting to get filled with pics. I'll fill up all 4 walls! Quack-Quack!"

 

Eun Jiwon's IG Update

"Gather up Yellowkies Until we reach 45 million!! " #SECHSKIES #EunJiwon #Yellowkies

 

"Let's sleep together I'll give you a backhug" #EunJiwon #SECHSKIES #Lucy #IwannabeLucy #backhug #YG #YGfamily #YGstan

Edited October 18, 2016 by lovelovelove681

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Jiyong oppa   

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SechsKies Fanart part 3

Edited October 18, 2016 by lovelovelove681

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Maknae line [emoji7]

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[instiz] SechsKies and same age friends 

http://www.instiz.net/pt?no=3860242

http://www.instiz.net/pt/4024944

 

Eun Ji Won (SechsKies)

 

Gary (Leessang)

 

Naul (Brown Eyed Soul)

 

Nam Goong min 

 

Moon Hee Jun (H.O.T)

 

Jung Hyung Don 

Born in 1978 (38 years old) 

Edited October 18, 2016 by lovelovelove681

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(continue)

Lee Jae Jin (SechsKies)

 

Kim Jae Duc (SechsKies)

 

Yuk jungwan (Motel Rose)

 

Haha

 

Kim Jong Min

Born in 1979

Edited October 18, 2016 by lovelovelove681

[lovelovelove681]

(continue)

Kang Sung Hoon (SechsKies)

 

Ko Ji Yong (SechsKies)

 

Jang Su Won (SechsKies)

 

Tablo (Epik High)

 

Yoon Min Soo

 

Choiza

Born in 1980

[lovelovelove681]

Little Reminder

Vote For SechsKies 2016 Asia Artist Awards

http://www.asiaartistawards.com/vote/lists?sort=nickname&search=%EC%A0%9D%EC%8A%A4%ED%82%A4%EC%8A%A4

 

Login with your Naver and Facebook account

You can vote once per day per ID.

 

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SechsKies Kang Sung Hoon visual at Hera Seoul Fashion Week

Edited October 19, 2016 by lovelovelove681

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Kang Sung Hoon's IG Update

Hi Today's me! To be continued On my way to Dongdaemun! #KangSunghoon #SECHSKIES #YG #kpop

 

Kim Jaeduc's IG Update

"#Goodmoning "

Edited October 19, 2016 by lovelovelove681

[lovelovelove681]

[kkuljaem] 'New Journey to the West' comes back with a 3rd season + Kyuhyun and Song Mino to join

  

 

 

 

 

 

Ilgan Sports - Naver: [Exclusive] 'New Journey to the West' is coming back... filming begins next week 

 

1. [+4,650, -102] Ooh!!!!!I'll wait for it!!!!!!

 

2. [+3,608, -106] Daebak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kang Ho Dong, Lee Soo Geun, Eun Ji Won and Ahn Jae Hyun + Na Young Seok!!!!!!

 

3. [+2,740, -75] Can't wait, I hope it comes out soon ã…Žã…Ž

 

4. [+2,708, -102] Ahn Jae Hyun did well in this show, he's pretty much confirmed as a fixed member 

 

5. [+2,272, -67] Daebak. Can't wait!!!!

 

6. [+511, -29] Waiting for Eun leader~~ In variety shows, he's not Eun leader but Eun chodingã…Žã…Ž

 

7. [+380, -11] NJTW is one of the most unique shows this yearã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹Everyone is funny, Ahn Jae Hyun and Eun Ji Won have great chemistry ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹ã…‹I hope they proceed with the existing members 

 

8. [+394, -17] I loved this show. The members match each other well!!!

 

 

 

 

Osen - Naver: [Exclusive] Kyuhyun and Song Mino join season 3 of 'New Journey to The West'...6-member cast complete

1. [+4,877, -205] Seems better with just those 4.. It's gonna feel like 1N2D with 6 of them

2. [+3,930, -342] Both are so-so.. Let's stick with 4 members

3. [+2,128, -113] I didn't want new members anymore. Seung Gi wanted to go travelling with his hyungs again, that's how the program came about. What happened to the original purpose? ã… ã… 

4. [+2,185, -180] I feel nervous about this

5. [+1,720, -214] Not one but two?

6. [+574, -47] What made NJTW big in the first place is the sense of nostalgia from the original members of 1N2D. It basically started out of Seung Gi wanting to go on a trip with his hyungs. This just seems like Knowing Bros travel version

7. [+606, -60] It'd be great if they just stick with the existing 4 members...

8. [+596, -64] Ah, not liking this. They should just continue with the existing members
 

Edited October 19, 2016 by lovelovelove681

[lovelovelove681]

SechsKies Fanart 

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SechsKies Kang Sung Hoon and crazy fan

 

Sunghoon was at a fashion show today and a woman sitting behind him kept on touching him,dragging his clothes,and even tried to lock her arms with him.

 

His manager tried to stop her but she kept on doing stuffs like that until the very last moment Sunghoon left the show. Other fans got mad, and wrote what happened today on Sunghoon and Sechskies' fan pages with her picture. She first denied, saying it's not true so other fans uploaded a video of her and Sunghoon. She then admitted it and wrote that she won't be Sunghoon's fan anymore on Sunghoon's official fan page!

 

Fans even more infuriated. Why would she say she won't support Sunghoon anymore on Sunghoon's official fan page!!! He will see her post & get hurt...

 

Sunghoon once said he got hurt when he found his loyal fan supporting another artist, while watching TV. He doesn't deserve all these shits.

 

How can someone possibly write "I won't be his fan anymore," when he can obviously see it? such an attention seeker... smh...

 

Sunghoon, or any other idols ain't your property, respect them as a human being with dignity, please

 

 

Sr:@youngsang_nari

Edited October 20, 2016 by lovelovelove681

[lovelovelove681]

Did Sechskies promote on any music shows?

When SechsKies release new album, they will promote on music show. Edited October 20, 2016 by lovelovelove681

[lovelovelove681]

Urgh, read about that fan ealier    

 

 

I've read that old interview...  All of it made me a little sad  

 

Q: Anything you'd like to tell your fans..

A: I am so sorry to those who've been waiting for me. And whenever we did 

concerts before, I always said at the end 'we will come back with a better 

album in the future,' 'don't forget us.' Then a while ago, I was watching TV 

and I saw my fanatic fan that always came to my house everyday... named Y.. I 

even know her name. She was captured on TV cheering for some other singer. I 

always thought I was pretty strong but I cried. I guess kids are just kids 

haha! No matter how much they like celebrities, it's just a phase. But I 

think I'd be like that too. I can understand.

 

Interview translated at https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/SechsKies/conversations/messages/5526

 

 

 I'm curious too! I don't think it's the album (I don't think they could have finished it yet?) and since Big Bang is coming out with their album later too... I think at most it could be a song music-wise? And this is just me pondering, but I feel like the album could be later towards their anniversary so they could promote it w/ 20th anniversary album or so? Who knows 

 

I hope for more events (fan meeting maybe?), performances & variety appearances at least...

 

This interview is so sad TT TT   I'm gonna support SechsKies and Hoony forever 

Edited October 20, 2016 by lovelovelove681

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Kim Jae Duc's IG Update

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Fanart

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Hoony and his this ankle TT TT. Someone please feed him

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Jaeduc autobio

 

Closer.. I want to step closer. And I want to talk about my youth, my life, and show my gratitude to people who supported me during one part of my life.

Inadequate, yet I still gathered my stories from my childhood up to now.

I hope my intention of wanting to be shown as an ‘individual’ Kim Jae Duc gets delivered well.

Kim Jae Duc

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - A Precious Son

Chapter 2 - My Life as a Soccer Player

Chapter 3 - Dance Parties in Kwang An Li

Chapter 4 - A Dull Pusan Guy

Chapter 5 - Parting with Quicksilver Friends

Chapter 6 - From a Pusan Country Boy to a Seoul Country Boy

Chapter 7 - My Sad First Love with a Nurse

Chapter 8 - A Scar I Earned from my Ego

Chapter 9 - Music I Listen to Stealthily, the Fantastic Sound of it

Chapter 10 - The Exquisiteness of Break Dance

Chapter 11 - Unforgettable Gifts

Chapter 12 - Father Kim Tae Gi Speaks of his Son Jaeduc

 

 

 

Chapter 1: A Precious Son

‘What do I really want?’

I suddenly think of this since I was reflecting on my bygone times. I am a 100% Pusan guy. I had no time to get used to being in Seoul, I just lived as a Jekki member all this time… those times seem all dreamy to me now. I’m still busy since we are performing with our 4th album, but compared to the old days, I have some time now.

In interviews, I get asked about my dream a lot, about my future hopes and goals. Come to think of it, I don't think I dreamed of anything special after my dream of being a singer came true. Is it because I achieved something so great? Aren’t I forgetting to dream about something new because I am absorbed in the present happiness?

Though short, I reminisced the times that passed, and decided to find my lost dream. Back in the days when I had many dreams, I tried so hard to accomplish them—like those days, I want to find a dream I can give my all to achieve earnestly. And I want to be Jae Duc that’s ready for another dream at this point of my life, barely 20 years old.

On August 7th, 1979, I was born between Kim Tae Gi and Kim Suk Ja in Suh Myeon, Pusan. I was the first child and was adored by many adults. The reason for this was that my big grandfather had 9 daughters and my grandfather also had many daughters, then he gave birth to my father. My father was an only son so he was a precious existence to his parents. Thus, I was my father’s only son, so I was loved by everyone around me.

"She never let you out of her hands."

My grandmother passed away when I was 3. I have no memories of her, but my parents told me that she loved me very much. I can imagine how precious I was to her, since she never let my feet touch the ground.

So once in a while when I go to Pusan, the adults always hassle me. "Stop by once, I want to see you." But I can’t help it so I can only feel sorry. My dad feels bad too. But what can I do, being a singer means having to give up many portions of my life.

I expected it, but sometimes I really think ‘Do I have to live like this?’ The schedule is so jam packed so I cannot even stop by and say hi to my relatives and meet my friends either. ‘I should try to not do this,’ I tell that to myself but since I’m not a solo artist, there are many limitations.

Since I have to think of my team first, it is hard to make time for myself. What’s scary is that I get used to it. I am so adapted to being with my group that when I am by myself, I feel lonely. People who make me feel at home when I am with them- they are Jekki.

 

 

Chapter 2: My Life as a Soccer Player

I received much love from my parents, especially from my mother when I was little. There once was an event where I realized how great my mom’s love for me was. One day, I was playing at my friend’s house and just fell asleep there. Since we lived in the same village, his mom didn’t wake me up and just let me stay there. After I woke up and was about to leave, I was startled by someone yelling "Jae Duc!." My mom was looking for me all night and had fainted! When she heard the news that I was sleeping over at my friend’s house, she ran over and just started crying.

I was little, but I still felt very bad. So I declared to myself that I will never make her shed tears, no matter what I do.

That must’ve been it, because I never made any trouble except to fight with my younger sister, Eun Ok (11th grade). Actually… there is. In elementary, I broke my arm while playing on a horizontal bar. The memory of my mom being very worried over this still remains vivid.

I think it was in second grade. Other kids hung on the bar with their arms but I could hang onto it with my legs. Not only that, I could also spin while my thighs hung. I must’ve been pretty athletic.

The world I saw like that was very funny. The school buildings, people, teachers, and kids all were seen upside down. It was like another world, they just looked really funny.

So I liked looking at the sky while I hung upside down on the bar. But one day, I was spinning and I just fell flat on the ground.

My legs were let go and because my hands didn’t touch the ground yet, my arm just broke. That was fortunate enough. I was punished for bragging about my athletic talents. Anyway, the origination of my fast dance moves comes from my good reflexes so I can’t ignore that.

My memories of the elementary days aren’t all too happy. I had to transfer 4 times because my dad’s work failed. I first went to Hae Woon Dae Elem., then I transferred to Hae Dong, then back to Hae Woon Dae, and in 6th grade, I graduated from Gam Chun Elementary School.

Thanks to my outgoing personality, I didn’t encounter too many difficulties. If I did go through something bad, I played soccer. I was able to play any sports but I was especially good in soccer, better than my peers.

The feeling I received from kicking the soccer ball was similar to the one I had when I was hanging from a bar upside down. I was disillusioned for flying far, far away when the ball ascended high in the air and seemed like it touched the sky. I felt like it was myself that was flying away, so I felt great in a queer way.

I really enjoyed it so I played soccer very well. When I look at my report cards that my mom kept all this time, all my teachers wrote ‘Has good motor nerves.’

I spent a lot of time playing sports. My position back then was centerforward. Even these days, right before I go to bed, I smile because I am reminded of those fancy (?) days. When there was a game, all my peers cheered for me, and I gained courage from that and made it into a goal… it’s all a beautiful memory now.

 

 

Chapter 3: Dance Parties in Kwang An Li

The fact that I was good in all sports besides soccer means that I was pretty popular. Back then, as well as now, peers liked athletic kids. But that doesn’t mean I lacked in my studies. I was a soccer player with good grades!

But my life as a soccer player ended as I transferred to another school. Gam Chun Elem. I attended in my 6th grade year didn’t have a soccer team.

I played soccer with my friends but I still felt somewhat empty. I yearned for the times I kicked my soccer ball with the teammates dynamically. Hae Woon Dae Elem. School was far away from Gam Chun so I couldn’t visit too often either. So my last year of the elementary school years was depressing for me.

My hobby still was playing soccer when I enrolled in Sam Sung Middle School. In addition to that was playing video games. Street Fighter was a trendy game back then. Right after school, I went to an arcade and played it, and felt better.

I first got acquainted with dancing in 9th grade. My friend from elementary, Jae Ju, was close to Jae Jin. At first, I just watched them dance. After observing for a while, I wanted to join. I had no confidence in the beginning but when I tried to dance at home, I thought I could learn if someone taught me.

Jae Duc as a 9th grader and dancing were inseparable. Right after school, I got together with my friends and practiced. If there was a small show the next day, we spent all night practicing hard. ‘Quicksilver’ was a dance team that Jae Ju and Tae Yong made, with Jae Jin as a leader. I joined later.

Our practice hall back then was a small room at the house of our friend named Park Hyun. We imitated other singers’ dance routines and later choreographed our own. We didn’t know this when we were just following others’ routines, but when we spent all night trying to figure out something ‘different,’ the time went by so fast. Come to think of it now, I remember feeling proud that we danced so diligently as young boys.

But my grades dropped everyday. I was always tardy to school because I spent all night practicing. I suffered during class because I couldn’t suppress my sleep. I always thought of what kind of routines we should practice that day, so it was no wonder that I didn’t hear anything my teachers said.

My grades that were high when I first entered middle school slowly dropped. But I built some kind of determination in the meanwhile.

‘If I can’t be no. 1 in my studies, I should probably do something that I can do well, and that I really have the passion for.’

I don’t know when I started thinking this way, but I decided not to care too much about my studies and fell deeper into dancing. Now that I think about it, if I kept on being no. 1 in my studies, I probably took that path as my life. But since I didn’t, I threw my dice on the path that had possibilities.

I was determined to become successful in this area. I dearly hoped to please my mother with my dancing, since I gave up my studies for it.

The results came faster than we expected. At first, we had to look for the places to perform but later, the places looked for us automatically. At the nearby school festivals, we were always the main guests. We were invited to many other events and showed our capabilities.

Our main stage was in Kwang An Li. If the Seoul dance teams showed off their dance skills in University Street, Kwang An Li was the place that served the same role in the city of Pusan. It was a free stage where the dancers with hidden talents came out and competed.

 

 

Chapter 4: A Dull Pusan Guy

Roller-skating link in Shin Chun Ji, Nam Po Dong. When roller-skating was popular, there was a dance competition held every Sunday here. Individual or teams participated and showed off their skills and the prize was something like ‘2 free admissions.’ But we were the star of that stage. We never stopped claiming the 1st place. It wasn’t much about winning, but I felt really good about showing people something. Like how a magician feels the happiest when he plays his tricks in front of audience.

As I became known among my friends, I noticed how people were sometimes staring at me when I went to the school cafeteria. To be honest, I am not handsome but rather, cute. Plus, I’m short so I must’ve called for the girls’ motherly affection, no?!

My dark eyebrows and deep double eyelids resemble my mother. My mother is very quiet and pretty. She states that when she went to a market with me in a stroller, people were eager to hold my hand just once, I suppose they liked my pretty eyes.

After I became a singer, I rarely hear people commenting that my eyes are pretty. The eyes are reflective of my mind, only the ones who have seen them up close can feel their true validity. (Haha).

In 9th grade, I was playing video games in an arcade when some girl approached me from afar. Even though I was playing, I could somehow sense that her steps were towards me.

"Um…. This…,"

She then disappeared. It was a pretty envelope but I pretended to be indifferent and I just set it on the video game and continued playing. In reality, I was very nervous and curious. My heart was beating. When I felt no one was looking, I quickly walked out with the letter, then started reading it slowly.

"I’ve seen you before… I kind of like you… I wish we would be friends."

‘Ah, I see.’

I had no girlfriends up to that point so there was no way I knew how they felt. I was just goofing off all the time, I never actually worried about girls. I was perplexed by the letter I received for the first time.

(Picture insertion: With my sister Eun Ok. She is quiet and inactive just like my mother.)

Then one day, I received another letter and a tape as a present from the same girl. It was the Deux 2nd album which was popular back in the days. I listened to it so much that I almost had all the songs memorized. I don’t think any music beats it still. As she gave me that tape, she said she really liked it. (I really liked it too…. ) From Deux 2nd, I especially liked the song "Bit Sok Eh Suh (In the Rain)." It’s perfect when I listen to it on rainy days because my heart feels empty as rain drops.

Unfortunately, my fate with her ended there. We were the same age but I wasn’t too assertive so we just met a few more times in the arcade. We occasionally said ‘hi’ with our eyes. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her, it would be more correct that I didn’t know what to do. Using this opportunity, I would like to apologize to her, for not knowing her heart… But that was the result of a dull and an apathetic Pusan guy, I would hope she understands it.

 

 

Chapter 5: Parting with Quicksilver Friends

I can only describe my meeting with Lee Juno (from Taiji Boys) as ‘fate.’ He contacted us after he watched the tape of Quicksilver performing. At the time, he was every dancer’s idol. We couldn’t believe he called us himself.

During our break, all of us came to Seoul. We showed off our cool dance moves. The trendy routines back in those days were wave and robotic moves, which are just legendary (?) now. We tried our best, doing wave dance and rhythmic robotic moves.

I think the best time to learn to dance is in middle-high school days. My body was flexible back then so I could learn any routine in short time. Same thing went for the Quicksilver members back then. They had great abilities as dancers, but I guess being a singer wasn’t the only way to go.

"Jae Duc can practice starting tomorrow!"

Unfortunately, only I got chosen. While we stayed at Juno’s office for 3 days, Mr. Lee Ho Yeon from DSP watched us and picked me as a member of Jekki that he was thinking of making.

I was very taken aback because I did not predict such situation… of just a certain member getting chosen and the others not…, it was rather unimaginable. I was troubled for a while. I was to become a singer that I desired ever so much, but to send back my friends back to Pusan…

I first joined the team. People around me advised that I had to be well off in order to be able to help my friends. And we also had this talk before- whoever gets chosen, we agreed on sending that person with a smile….

Fortunately, Jae Jin stayed. He got to be a backdancer while staying at Juno’s office. Then one of the Jekki members, while practicing, dropped out. It was a good spot for a dancer. Taking this opportunity, I begged our manager Ki Young, to consider Jae Jin once again.

"He is a great dancer and he also has deep thoughts."

Ji Won, who was with us, also supported me. He must’ve liked Jae Jin as he watched him all this time. Ki Young was unmoved at first but he gradually changed his mind. And he got a permission from Mr. Lee, thus Jae Jin was accepted as the 5th member of Jekki. It was very fortunate. Unfamiliar life in Seoul, unfamiliar life as an entertainer- the fact that I at least had Jae Jin that I could talk in my Pusan dialect to was relieving.

 

 

Chapter 6: From a Pusan Country Boy to a Seoul Country Boy

In the earlier days of Jekki, I practiced after practice, it was a march of practices. Not just me, but the other members as well. I needed to find time to sleep whenever I could. Even now, I have a habit of sleeping anywhere while recording or waiting for our turn for a performance. This habit is owned by mostly any entertainers.

I lived with Jae Jin at first. We shared a bunk bed. It wasn’t really a home but more like a motel room, since we just came in to sleep and went out again as soon as we woke up. But we realized, we really shouldn’t live like that, it seemed too impersonal.

So we wanted to change our surroundings first. After discussing with my father, we decided to move. We wanted a bit more settled life and Jae Jin was thinking the same. Dad took care of everything related to finding a place to live. He probably suffered a lot, thanks to me, since I had a bad sense of directions in Seoul. He was driving and because he got lost many times, he went across the Han River bridge multiple times. Once, he called a taxi and made it drive and followed it from behind, how difficult it must have been for him.

I owe it all to my dad, for living a fairly comfortable life in Seoul. Speaking of my dad, he was directly affected by the declination of the shoemakers in Pusan. When Pusan shoemaking companies gradually shut down, his job was in jeopardy. But because of his job, I got to wear many brand shoes since I was little, i.e. Prospecs and Nike. In order to develop something new, he needed samples and the remainder of those samples were all mine.

Nowadays, my dad still takes care of me more than my mom who works at a restaurant. One of the biggest tasks my dad has for me is to deliver my kim chi and all the side dishes my mom makes. I love kim chi so as long as I have that, I pretty much eat well. When I have my mom’s handmade kim chi, anchovies, and tuna, my one meal is all taken care of.

But when my dad comes to Seoul, he still asks me "Is there anything you want to eat?" I think he wants to feed me well since he can’t really cook. I don’t get to go out to eat with him very often but when we do, I enjoy hollow chicken soup (*Note: It was the best I could translate, what the heck is this food anyway?). Spicy yet sweet, when I think of the sweet and sour potato taste, my mouth waters.

The place I live now is where I moved a while ago, after my dad went around to get it. It’s in 5th floor and has 2 rooms. After my life kind of got settled, I almost never step out of the house. I listen to music, watch video, and choreograph and practice- then the day goes by so fast.

Honestly, I still don’t know much about Seoul and where places are. I just know the routes from my house to the office, to the TV stations or performance stages. But it was helped by my car somewhat these days. I try to not get much help from my manager and just use my car to get to places, so I can learn the directions in Seoul. I became a Seoul country boy after being a Pusan country boy.

 

 

Chapter 7: My Sad First Love with a Nurse

Loneliness? Solitude?

These are really luxurious words when we are busy. To talk about being lonely, when there is not even enough time to eat? But a while ago, I had some free time to myself and I could honestly feel an empty spot in the bottom of my heart. I don’t express my thoughts usually so people don’t notice this.

At least my Quicksilver friends or other friends from Pusan came to play often when we first debuted. They came to tour Seoul and see me as well.

My closest friend, Jung Shik, has been my friend since 5th grade. He majors in engineering in Pusan and he comes to Seoul or calls me occasionally and still takes care of me.

Jung Shik, or other friends, usually meet at my house. It is impossible to comfortably drink tea elsewhere. Eventually, I just have to bring them to my home and they drink my handmade coffee.

Whenever I see my Pusan friends, I also have this feeling of seeing Pusan Hae Oon Dae (beach). This was the place my parents and my sister Eun Ok went together often when we were little. After we grew, my friends and I hung out there a lot…. I yearn for the bitter smell of sea water because I grew up there. I can smell that scent from my friends so I like it. When I go down to Pusan once in a while, I always visit Hae Oon Dae.

When I think of the word ‘loneliness,’ I reminisce a face of one girl who was my first love. When Quicksilver was really popular (?), we held a little performance at the roller-skating link. Right afterwards,

"Say hi. This is…."

My friend introduced me to some girl! She was smiling shyly. All the members of Quicksilver admitted that she looked very kind and pretty. Who would’ve known that I got to go out with her.

For the first time, I went on a ‘date’ with a girl. It wasn’t exactly a date, it was just taking her out to hang out with my friends or talking and laughing at a fast food restaurant. She was very quiet so when I just blabbed on, she replied with her bright smile. She was way too quiet. Once, we were together for 10 hours and almost didn’t talk at all. Maybe we ‘clicked (?)’ in our hearts, or rather, we both must have been too shy.

She is a nurse now. After we broke up, I really felt ‘Ah, this must be loneliness.’ No matter how many people surrounded me, i.e. my parents and friends, I still couldn’t erase the feeling that I was alone. ‘I must be getting mature this way.’ I consoled myself like this and overcame some difficult times.

I occasionally saw her when I went down to Pusan. That’s how I found out that she became a nurse. She still didn’t lose that bright smile of hers. I sometimes think about her. I can confidently confess that she was my first love. I am trying to let her out of my heart now. I believe I will find a better fate. Not just me, but her as well….

 

 

Chapter 8: A Scar I Earned from my Ego

Normally, I don’t like women that have heavy makeup on their faces. (Typical of a Pusan guy!) I especially dislike fingernails and toenails painted with red manicure. If you take a close look at me on stage, you would notice that I don’t have that many accessories on, such as earrings or bracelets. Even watches bother me so I hardly ever wear them. Necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and rings are far from my liking. I sometimes hold small arguments with my coordinators who wish to express me as a ‘cool’ guy on stage.

"Jae Duc, just this once, hmm?"

"……..!"

My ears are still pierced despite all this. When we were shooting the movie Seventeen, I was required to wear earrings so I had no choice but to pierce them. I really tried my best to make that movie a success, which included piercing my ears which was something I detested, but the result was not very good. But it was fun, since I was exposed to the world of ‘acting’ for the first time. The role I had in that movie was a ‘player’ in one word, but I honestly didn’t like it. Did that suit me? When I think about it, it really didn’t seem to suit me well but I wonder how the fans would judge.

Acting….

I am not sure if I would delve deeply into this, but if I am given an opportunity, I think I can do it. In the case of the Japanese group "SMAP," they are famous as singers but individually, they are great actors as well. And they also serve as MC’s. Seeing this makes me think that it is good for Koreans to purse that sort of ‘multi-entertainment.’

I can’t evade speaking about college if I were to talk about ‘acting.’ As you know, I was originally enrolled in Baek Je Univ. of Arts at first. I then took a break and re-submitted my applications to many other universities, aiming for a theatre major. But I failed miserably. It is a terrifying memory but oh well, what can I do now?

I hardly went to school in my senior year, but my cumulative grades were good and my scores on the college entrance exam were pretty high, so I held high expectations for my admission to college. Many schools were accepting early applications for their theatre major and I honestly thought I would get into at least one of them, so I applied to many places. But the result was… In some perspective, I failed because of my inflated ego so… I guess I tasted the bitter aspect of life.

I was even tutored in acting, with Ji Yong. It was a person from an entertainment company called NOM. He didn’t hesitate to come to us in early mornings to teach us. He said that we were ready and since both Ji Yong and I were confident about our test scores, we didn’t worry too much. Yet when I was rejected, I felt like the whole world was turning its back away from me, I was very distressed.

 

 

 

Chapter 9: Music I Listen to Stealthily, the Fantastic Sound of It

Currently, I was admitted early to Kyung Hee University as a theatre major, with Su Won, which I owe all to my father and many other relatives around me. I am very happy to be comforting my dad because he was so heartbroken over my failure- he had thought it was all his fault.

 

And nothing is set in details yet but Ji Won and I are contemplating about taking the same path. We want to expand our horizons and study music and dance, the ‘right’ way. Not necessarily entering a school, but rather, learning from many producers that are currently working in their career fields. Experience itself can be studying.

 

Ji Won has many different sides to him, apart from stage. I am not saying he is hypocritical; on stage, he is very charismatic but off stage, he is very mild and soft-hearted. He may be older than us but since he is so naïve, we tease him often. He doesn’t understand some words because he lived in Hawaii for a long time. Of course he wouldn’t know many slang words that were popular in Korea while he was not here. He is simple-minded, it’s just too cute. (Sorry hyung!)

 

However, when he’s discussing his musical perspective, he is more serious and intelligent than anyone I know. It makes me wonder where his passion comes from, because he spits out his opinions. First of all, he has critical views on Korean hiphop. Aside from doing it ‘well’ or ‘poor,’ he believes we should do it ‘right.’ After listening to what he says and hearing the kind of music he recommends me, I now see what he means. And my desire to learn more about hiphop blooms.

 

Hiphop is a new form of the African-American music, in 90’s style. It developed from blacks that were singing and dancing out in the streets, wearing the shabby clothes they inherited from their parents. They had no place to play so they only had music to express their situation, and since they had no money to buy instruments, they could only develop their ‘beatbox,’ which was the sound they made with their lips.

 

But adults always criticize that hiphop culture is low and dirty, and they even say that it is a worthless Harlem culture, describing as the culture of drugs and gangs. They only view it in a bad way. Truthfully at first, I really didn’t know what it meant so I thought the adults were right.

 

Then with Ji Won’s help, I was exposed to many albums that we weren’t allowed to listen to in Korea, and what I felt after listening to them was that they were simply amazing. To ignore it and label it simply as a ‘low’ culture is to ignore the excellent musicality, honest expressions, and even the sensation filled with humanism. If they had at least some concern about hip hop culture and were saying stuff about it, I can endure. But I seriously want to ask them if they really contemplated about it for even one second.

 

 

 

Chapter 10: The Exquisiteness of Break Dance

Hiphop consists of many things but since I am a choreographer within Jekki, I am very interested in its dance culture. ‘B’ from a term ‘B-boy’ refers to break dance. So B-boy is indicating a person that break dances professionally. It is also used as a nickname to someone who plays a lot. In Korea, we sometimes use it to refer to a backdancer but it is totally different.

 

Disco can be seen as the foundation of break dance. Then as the technicality improved in many dance routines, it reached its peak. In America, there are dance teams that only do breaks and there are festivals annually. I got to see various techniques because a festival was held in Korea a while ago. I didn’t get to participate but as a spectator, I could analyze and learn from it. (I will participate someday!)

 

If ‘Rock Steady Crew’ is representative of the American break dance groups, we have ‘People Crew.’ If you are interested in dancing, you would know that after you impromptu a dance move, the happiness felt from it cannot be compared to anything. It’s like a body flying ferociously and landing…

 

In the beginning days of Jekki, a so-called ‘human dance’ was known to our fans. I fell on my back without any preparation in the end of Hak Won Byul Gok, and as you can see, it is rather dangerous. (So please don’t imitate!) I first volunteered to do this dance. As I was choreographing with Jae Jin, we had many ideas but nothing really stood out. HOT’s popularity at that time was soaring and in comparison to them, we were only a backup group. We thought that if we were a backup, we had to have something ‘shocking’ ready.

 

‘Is there anything novel?’

 

After we discussed it for a long time, something dawned on me. ‘Ah, this is it!’ And I showed my spur of the moment move. I thought the sudden outbreak (?) of falling flat on my back would draw fans’ attention.

 

We were right- Hak Won Byul Gok was noticed in many ways but this ‘backdown dance’ was also part of its success.

 

I was unimaginably happy. The product of our endless efforts. My body was a bit tired and stiff from showing a difficult routine but I felt good for helping the team.

 

Even in these days, as I have a big portion of choreography, I try to come up with moves that have feelings. Feelings that are within my body that can be delivered to the audience. So the kind of music I like for choreographing is the one with slow tempo, rather than something that’s too fast. That way, it is easier to transport feelings.

 

Being on stage is a synthetic art. Singing is important too, but the totality that comes from choreography, the music that can be ‘whole’ because of it would be better. I must first emphasize on learning choreography, but I would like to vow in front of my fans that I will also not fall back on studying the music that can support good choreography.

 

 

 

Chapter 11: Unforgettable Gifts

The fans I love.

 

Too many fans give me their letters and presents but all of them remain in my memory. It comforts me so much to think that somebody cares for me with love in my Seoul life that I cannot get used to. What saddens me is that I can’t see all the fans up close and the names I know don’t match the faces. Come to think of it, I know quite a few names now but I can’t list them all…

 

I especially remember the present where my name was written over and over, filling up the whole cardboard. I believe it had taken months to make that, since she wrote ‘Kim Jae Duc’, ‘Kim Jae Duc’ in a very minute handwriting. When I opened it, my mouth hung open because I was just so surprised. Before I felt thankful, I felt sorry first. I haven’t even said thanks to her because I haven’t met her yet.

 

When I go back and forth from TV stations or my office, I meet many fans. Sometimes my heart aches because I wonder why I have to avoid them. In the beginning of Jekki days, I fought with my manager regarding this issue. ‘I don’t want to avoid them,’ ‘Why can’t I see them closer?’

 

But I found out the reason a while later. How should I put this… it’s the ‘limit’ of being an entertainer. I realized, from seeing many other celebrities, that the ‘mystique’ is the core of my life as an entertainer. So I must keep some distance from the fans in reality and follow that rule.

 

However, I also think this way. The beauty of waiting. The anxiousness that comes from the hope that you will someday meet… of course, the short encounter will leave some feeling of absence but ‘he will come out someday,’ the hopefulness of it, would make things happier. (Is it just my arbitrary analysis?)

 

When I think about my fans, I often compare them to my parents and the love that I receive. I know that the fans’ love emulates that of the parents’. So-called ‘unconditional love,’ the kind that only gives and the fans who could be happy from just ‘giving’ are the representation of the unconditional love. When would I ever repay that love. I hope the time comes someday.

 

There are many ways to repay my fans’ love. First of all, showing good music and good dances. That is the present role I hold. And the innocence that won’t change as time passes. Perhaps that’s something I want from myself. I dislike people who change gradually, or the environment that forces people to change.

 

I can’t resent anyone but if I’m forced to change, I always tell myself that ‘I will only change a bit.’ For this reason, I always heed my mother’s advice.

 

"If you want to do it, do it right. If you’re a guy, it’s okay to live differently."

 

My father told me this but my mom always opposed. She believes that "It’s best to be ordinary," and she worried about the side effects of me not leading an ordinary life.

 

I now understand what she meant, that being ordinary is the best thing. I don’t regret being a singer. I especially think that as long as I am a member of Jekki, such luxurious and enjoyable times will never come again in my life.

 

But, I just tell myself not to lose the original image Jae Duc once held, being pure. When I first wanted to be a singer, I promised myself that I would do many deeds and return every bit of love to those people who love me. I promise myself that I will never forget that mindset I once held.

 

 

 

Chapter 12: Father Kim Tae Gi speaks of his son Jae Duc

When I think about Jae Duc, my heart aches for many reasons. The first thing is that he had to transfer schools when he was little. How big the scar must have been for such a little boy when he could no longer play soccer, as he transferred from Hae Woon Dae to Gam Chun Elementary?

 

Now that I think about it, the reason Jae Duc got so involved in a new realm of dancing was to comfort his empty heart when he couldn’t play soccer. So it’s a fortunate deed. He didn’t get off to a bad track and now he tries his best in something he truly loves and receives love from so many people.

 

Jae Duc especially received love from his grandparents because he was a precious son of the household. His grandma never let go of him, so much as to where she wouldn’t even set him on the ground.

 

His eyes were exceptionally round and pretty when he was little. Once, I dressed him up in a rabbit costume which was trendy at the time and took him to a market. We couldn’t even walk because so many people stopped us and told him that he was so pretty.

 

He seemed to be depressed when he couldn’t play soccer but he soon found his place. I scolded him a lot because he couldn’t wake up early since he was dancing all night. But he was a nice boy that never tempted to run away from the house or defy his parents.

 

I couldn’t dare to stop him when he decided to become a singer by going to Seoul. As parents, we were not particularly good to him so we had no just cause to stop him. Especially when Mr. Lee Ho Yeon came down to Pusan and said "Don’t worry, I’ll make him a good singer."

 

At times, I am surprised by the phone calls of his fans from all over the nation. "How is Jae Duc doing?" "I’m OO, please tell him I called," "Please tell him I love him"… etc etc.. I feel like they are my daughters, so sometimes I spend all day responding to them. But what could I do, there are so many of them who are even younger than my own daughter. If I think from their parents’ perspective, I should probably bring them home and feed them but I am regretful that I cannot do so.

 

Jae Duc’s mom always worries about him because she’s too busy to visit him in Seoul. Is he eating right, is he staying healthy? Jae Duc’s rather quiet so he doesn’t say anything special over the phone either. Even when I do see him, he eats so minimally and when he’s running out of time, he eats too fast. He never tells me outwardly but I am afraid that his stomach and kidney are not in a good condition.

 

"I envy you, Mr. Kim!"

 

I heard this so many times after Jae Duc became a singer. I answer "Yes~" but I worry. Would he do well as he had been so far? Would he eventually do things that he wants to do afterwards? Beyond people’s envy comes worries only parents would hold.

 

I especially am saddened by his skinny features. He was never fat but kind of chubby, but now he has no fat at all and retains just the strength to maintain his stance so it hurts me.

 

When he failed to get into college last year, I regretted not caring. Other students take care of things on their own but the way Jae Duc was doing his activities as a singer, I felt that somebody needed to take care of him in his place. I really tried hard, submitting applications here and there but the result was poor. He seemed to have lost his confidence a while ago so I was really sad.

 

All of Jekki members are now over 20 years old, including Jae Duc. They all looked so young in the beginning but now they have all grown up.

 

"This must be the beginning. Hope all goes well--."

 

This is something Jae Duc’s mom and I say each time a new album is released. Same thing went for the first TV performance from their fourth album. We also have good premonition this time. I wish that all of them eat well and stay healthy.

 

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-A500FU using Tapatalk

[lovelovelove681]

Jaejin Autobio

 

One famous actor once recollected that "What made me who I am now was the poverty from my childhood." I stood back up like a tumbler whenever I was exhausted, so the poverty must have done me some good too. As I was writing my part, I felt very proud of myself. I am a very lucky person, being a singer that I had always dreamed of, after walking through a dark tunnel of my life safely.

 

I organized my life stories, thinking of my fans that love me infinitely.

Lee Jae Jin

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - As a Deux Fanatic

Chapter 2 - As An Outsider

Chapter 3 - As a Paperboy

Chapter 4 - Chaotic Running Away from Home with Quicksilver Friends

Chapter 5 - Historical Arrival to Seoul

Chapter 6 - From a Backdancer to a Jekki Member

Chapter 7 - My Heart Trembling Debut Stage

Chapter 8 - My Shoe that Flew Away

Chapter 9 - Dreaming of Being a Cartoonist

Chapter 10 - I am a Professoinal One-Sided Lover

Chapter 11 - My Guardian Angel

Chapter 12 - Kim Jae Ju from Quicksilver Speaks of his Friend JaeJin

 

 

 

Chapter 1: As a Deux Fanatic

"Did you call your cousins? Hee hee."

Before Jekki debuted, we joked around while looking at the fans that were waiting for us outside our office. We couldn't believe how many fans we had, considering that we weren't even on TV. How did they know about us.. what did they like about us? Whenever I saw the fans, I felt strangely happy. They were all girls in my age. I remember saying hi and giving them autographs.

But once we debuted, the fans were more demanding than we had expected. There were many fans that waited in front of my Bang Bae Dong apartment. Graffiti on walls was a basic thing to do. There were more aggressive fans that distorted my door and spat in the keyhole.

Just a while ago, I was changing in order to go on some show. My eyes met with some fan that was watching my every move through the window as she was stepping on her ladder. So close! We were both so embarrassed that our faces reddened. But when I think about it now, I smile subtly. Their images overlap with mine a few years back.

My confession. When I was a member of Quicksilver, I was a huge fan of Taiji Boys and Deux. I was obsessed with dancing and my lifetime wish was to see their faces just once. But where I lived, Pusan, was too far away from Seoul and the chances of seeing my idols were very slim. Then one day, Deux came down to Pusan for their concert! Majority of Deux fans were girls, so us guy fans took full advantage of that. After the concert, we got to dance in front of Deux and converse with them. Just because we were guys, they had remembered us.

Since I have that memory, I try to understand fans that are relatively aggressive. But most of the time, there just are fans that shyly give me their letters and presents, and come to our performances and watch. I thank them.

Among them, I cannot forget a fan that has been writing me a letter every single day for the last 2 years. It's so hard to even write a journal that way, moreover, she was writing about my boring life! I was deeply touched. She sent me the pictures of me that I have never even seen, and she analyzed my dancing and singing in detail. I am grateful to her.

I am surrounded by my fans but when a holiday approaches, I become depressed. After I became a member of Jekki, I didn't get to spend my holidays with my family. However, I am comforted by the fans that cheer for me when I'm on stage. I cannot thank them enough for the endless love they give us. Because of them, Jekki can still try our best on stage.

 

 

Chapter 2: As an outsider

"A big snake was crawling into my skirt. Somebody told me that you were going to be a great figure."

My mother still tells me that my birth dream was not ordinary. She was catching clams at a beach and 5 snakes crawled into her skirt. Among them, the biggest snake twirled around her leg and even though it was only a dream, she was so scared that she detached the snake and threw it far away.

On July 13th, 1979, I was born in Gam Chun Dong, Sa Ha Gu in Pusan. My father was a detective in Pusan City Police Department. He was a fearful and distant existence. I resemble one thing from him ...the artistic talent. He always won 1st place whenever there was a montage drawing contest.

In comparison to him, I believe I resemble my mother completely in aspects of singing and my looks. She always won awards with her neighbors when there was a singing contest.

We were poor, but we were a happy family. But the household was clouded darkly when my father quit his job. He had taken the blame for his friend's mistake that was much poorer, and left his job instead. On top of that, my mother was constantly bedridden since she gave my birth, suffering from rheumatism. We had to worry about our daily meals.

Dark household atmosphere only made me stay outside. There were many criminals since it was a bad neighborhood. I stole cookies with my friends and my mother caught me many times so I was beaten pretty often. But there was something strange. I only stole cookies that were worth 100 won, but the storeowner reported to my mom that they were worth 1000 won. As a young boy, I had already had experienced how underhanded adults could be.

When I was in elementary, my father left to Saudi Arabia to work at a construction site. He was very quiet but his empty spot was surprisingly large for me. I then realized what it felt like to miss someone dearly.

A few years ago, he came back in an image where he grew significantly old. It ached my heart to see his tanned features. It was when I was in 4th grade. On his birthday, we invited all our neighbors and threw a party. The memory of my mom giving him a bottle of soju (*Note: Korean alcohol) and a pack of cigarettes as his birthday present ...and the bittersweet expression of my dad when he received them ...still remains in me as an unforgettable picture.

I grew up, feeling that the world I lived in was not as sweet as the one my friends lived in.

 

 

Chapter 3: As a Paperboy

It must have been due to my household environment. I matured earlier than everyone else. It perturbed me to see my mother so much, so when I got into middle school, I started delivering newspapers. The first income I earned on my own was 60,000 won (*Note: approximately 60 dollars). It was nowhere enough to pay for my mother's medicines and the tuition for my sister and me.

5 am. It wasn't easy to wake up from my sleep when everyone else was sleeping. But I got up earlier than anyone else. I needed to hurry and deliver my share of newspapers before my peers started coming to school. I would have rather died than to have them see me.

The business my father started after he came back from Saudi Arabia failed. That led my mother's store to close down as well. On top of that, she became more ill as the time progressed.

My father was elsewhere so I only got to see him about once a year.

"Jae Jin, I don't think I will make it to your graduation. Keep your grades up..."

He came when Mom wasn't home and gave me some money. Whenever I faced him walking away, he looked so lonely.

It is certainly relative to that matter that I dwelled so much in dancing. I needed an outlet from my depressed household.

At the moment I danced, I could forget all about the world's worries. I spent most of my days in school thinking about dancing. And my friends acknowledged me when it came to dancing. My sole outlet was dancing, only dancing.

Delivering newspapers and dancing...my grades dropped endlessly but my parents were so into earning money that they had no time to take care of me.

I won a watch as a prize when I went on some karaoke program sponsored by Pusan TV station. Mom realized then that I was dancing. She didn't say much but I could feel that she was glad for me that I could concentrate on something.

A day before my middle school graduation, I pierced my ears impulsively because the way other dancing kids had their ears pierced looked so cool. Mom scolded me greatly at first but afterwards, she gave me medication for the wounds to heal.

She is the type of person that supports me unknowingly when I do something. Besides the fact that I accomplished my dream, the thing I liked about being a singer was that I could buy her a new house. On the day she dragged her ill body and moved into the big house, she spilled out the tears she had been holding back at last.

 

 

Chapter 4: Chaotic Running Away from Home with Quicksilver Friends

I do not know since when, but everytime I turned on TV, I could only focus on singers and dancers. I was a very flexible person so I imitated every dance routine ever shown on TV. Even when I was in my classroom or delivering newspapers, the image of Lee Hyun Do from Deux did not leave my head.

Tae Yong was the first friend that exposed me to the world of dancing. It was during winter break in my 8th grade year. I was a mischievous boy so I pretended to go to library but hung out with friends instead. I was a fanatical fan of Deux at the time and I was especially engulfed by their dynamic choreography.

And one day, someone in front of library was dancing out the routines of Deux perfectly! I begged him to teach me what he was doing. And I learned it just at once, which surprised even him. That was Tae Yong, and the friend that danced with me was Jae Ju.

Us three teamed up by dancing. We spent more than 6 hours a day practicing. We gathered together right after school and until dawn, we danced. No one was forcing us to do it, no one was paying us either, but we just practiced, not realizing how fast the time was passing by.

"Instead of just dancing amongst ourselves, how about doing it in front of people?"

"No way, we will be embarrassed with our abilities!"

"No, let's try it."

At that time in Pusan, there was a weekly dance contest at a rollerblading link. We choreographed to a Deux song overnight and entered the contest. But everytime we danced there, we always won 1st place. It was very unexpected. I had never won 1st in anything before. I never even had good grades in my life. When I found out that my potential lied in dancing, I gained confidence in everything.

From then on, us three musketeers were not only famous in our school, but in the entire region of Pusan. We didn't just imitate others'dances, but we started choreographing on our own. We lived in a same neighborhood so we met at a park during lunch and practiced.

As we became high school students, we were more involved in dancing and we also had the glory of being the last group to perform at some other school's festival. Jae Ju and Tae Yong became friends in my life that I could not imagine not having.

We got in trouble once then. Adults did not have good opinions on 'dancing kids.' Compared to their worrying, we were rather innocent but we couldn't confidently tell our parents that we were dancing. We didn't try to deceive them on purpose but we just never got around telling them, that's all. Then an event occurred where all of our parents realized what we were doing.

When we thought that we knew quite a lot about dancing, we thought about going to Seoul rather than staying in Pusan. In order to earn our traveling expenses, we decided to run away! Now that I think about it, where the heck did we get the courage to do so! We stayed at a friend's house and wrote songs that we would be singing in Seoul and practiced our dance. To make money, we delivered food, worked at a moving center, and just suffered all around.

But we were caught only in 10 days and were dragged (?) back to home. We all of a sudden realized how great their love was for us.

"I am so sorry that I cannot give you everything that you need, like the other parents."

I was expecting my mother to scold me greatly. Unexpectedly, she told me this and cried. I can't forget her tears from then.

Anyway, my first and last attempt to run away from home ended like this. My friends and I became more mature from this point on, I wonder if the fans would understand.

When I look back on my middle school/high school days, I have nothing to reminisce about, without Jae Ju and Tae Yong. They are such valuable friends I have. I sought for an opportunity with Seoul with them, but it always hurts me to think that only Jae Duc and I were selected.

When Jekki was singing 'Couple,'I was reminded more and more about my Quicksilver friends back in Pusan. They were still practicing, not giving up their dream of singing. I felt so bad that I was the only one among us performing onstage!

Last winter, when I was more secured financially and mentally, I tried to look for things I could do for Tae Yong and Jae Ju. I jotted down audition dates and I gave them shoes and clothes that would make them look more 'fancy' when they dance. I know they weren't that big of help but I wanted to show them that I cared.

Tae Yong and Jae Ju are now in college. I wish that someday, they would be able to perform onstage. They have more potential and talent than anybody I know!

"Good luck to Quicksilver friends!"

 

 

Chapter 5: Historical Arrival to Seoul

"I sent your dancing demo tape to all the famous productions in Seoul."

In summer of 1996 when we were dancing as Quicksilver, our friend Eun Jung said that she recorded our performances without us knowing and sent them to Seoul. She referred to herself as a 'manager' for everything concerning Quicksilver, so we were thankful to her but we were also embarrassed and worried.

We were quite famous in Pusan but I didn't think our dancing was perfect enough to be recognized by Seoulites.

But we received unexpected news.

"I like how you guys dance. Call me up!"

I doubted my ears. Our idols Yang Hyun Suk, Lee Juno, and a place called OK Music had called us! Hyun Suk specifically told us, "I was very impressed by you guys so let me see you on your break." Juno's production also told us to come to ING office in Ap Gu Jung right away.

We embraced each other and yelled, "YES!" We were so hopeful about becoming singers. Come to think of it, nothing was confirmed but we made some money and took a train to Seoul.

Dawn. We arrived in Seoul but we had no idea where Ap Gu Jung was. We wanted to rest so we slept at the station. But when we woke up, it was already noon and we had even lost Juno's office number. At last, we located his number in a phone book and met him when the sun was setting.

To us dancers, Juno was a hero. The fact that we were face to face with him was a very nervous thing. We also met "Young Turks Club," a very popular group at that time.

"I wish we could be just as successful as YTC."

We were country boys from Pusan so everything seemed just so foreign. We danced some trendy routines in front of Juno. After he saw our dance, he didn't say anything for a long time. And what he said afterwards really disappointed us.

"Don't expect too much just because I asked you to see you guys. Since you guys are still in school, go back to Pusan, keep your grades up, and come up again during winter break, all right?"

We weren't anticipating much but to go back to Pusan like that, we were very saddened. It was hard to suppress our excitement after we went back down to Pusan. The image of Juno and his office had already settled down in our hearts and we weren't able to forget them. All throughout my classes, I dreamed of being a singer.

Finally, the winter break came and we went up to Seoul to see Juno again. But the production said it was impossible to keep all four of us. Coincidentally, Mr. Lee from DSP held an audition and Jae Duc was selected as a member of a group soon to be formed.

It was very strange back then, now that I think about it. We were not devastated by the fact that only Jae Duc was picked, at all. We even felt good about it, since we thought, 'If Jae Duc succeeds in Seoul, he will sent us a lot of info about trendy dance moves.'

And Juno said he wanted to keep me. Right at that moment, I felt SO BAD for my Quicksilver friends. We went through thick and thin for 3 years and I couldn't get rid of my guilty conscience because I felt like I was betraying them.

Jae Duc, as a Jekki member, and I, as a backdancer in Juno's production ...our lives in Seoul began so.

 

 

Chapter 6: From a Backdancer to a Jekki Member

Including Jae Duc, all members of Jekki often visited Juno's production to hang out. I cannot forget the shock I received from seeing the members for the first time. Ji Won was someone I met in Juno's office. He was well dressed in old fashion mode. Sung Hoon was cute, masculine, and rich boy looking at the same time. 'Do all Seoul kids look like them...? They must be pretty popular in Seoul,' all sorts of thoughts went through my mind.

Su Won too, looked so clean cut and impressive. I was very surprised and wondered where DSP could've gathered such handsome boys. When I saw them all together in one place later, I was even more shocked. Not only were they good-looking, but they could dance and sing well too. It seemed like the best singing and dancing kids from Korea were all congregated. If they teamed up, anything appeared possible. Slowly, I started to envy them.

As I mentioned earlier, I wasn't envious of the fact that only Jae Duc was selected at first. But I couldn't help feeling 'left out' gradually. At that time, Jae Duc received some cold hard check as his allowance just because he was a 'member.' When they went to eat out, I felt like I was being an intruder, that I was a burden on them. But I followed what they were practicing as their dance and I taught what I knew to the other members.

I must have impressed them with my diligence, because a few months later, the manager, Ki Young called me aside and told me,

"I watched you for a while and you seem to dance well and teach them well. How about joining the team now?"

What else did I need to say? Of course the answer was "Yes!" I will never forget my happiness from that day. I became a member of Jekki afterwards and for the first time, I was able to have the glory of receiving a cold hard check for my allowance too.

 

 

Chapter 7: My Heart Trembling Debut Stage

"Now, let's try one more time."

I fell on hard wooden floor, and stood back up more than 100 times. But none of us stopped practicing until we learned all of our dance routines. The night was over and the new day was approaching. We were still teenagers but when it came to practicing, we were more hard-working then any other senior singers we knew.

At that time, we went back and forth from Kwang Hwa Moon Studio to our composers' recording studio, to practice singing. We danced in our own production. But after our break was over, we couldn't adjust our schedule because of school. Generally, we gathered together by 6 p.m. and once we started practicing then, we went all night.

As opposed to the members' soft looking features, they all had some kind of determination to practice.

I guess I can't forget how much we suffered during that time, so I really like our debut song, 'Hak Won Byul Gok.'

"Like the phone that doesn't ring, I'm living this world without any expressions. When the school bell rings 'ding' our war begins again. Everyone's friend is everyone's enemy, everyone struggles to trample down on each other......"

When I first heard this song, I was so amazed by how it explicitly stated our exact thoughts. I somewhat held a peculiar anticipation that we would be opening up the enclosed hearts of teenagers.

And I was right. Our first stage was on KMTV's 'Show! Music Tank!' which was known to promote newcomers. Fans who had never even seen Jekki perform once cheered us on.

When I got onstage, I could clearly see each and every fan. I felt dizzy. Then the anxiety of having to succeed overcame me the next moment. I am not sure how I did on that stage afterwards.

I thought that compared to our practice, our debut stage didn't exceed our expectations. Unexpectedly, though, the reaction was very successful. The audience screamed like crazy and the producer of that show complimented us.

A strand of hope spread in my heart. And I was overwhelmed by the fact that I had accomplished my dream.

'I did it, at last!'

 

 

Chapter 8: My Shoe that Flew Away

What I love the most is being onstage. On the other hand, what I am most afraid of is being onstage as well.

Even now, when I go onstage, all the surroundings zoom in. The cameramen, the fans' balloons, the placards' when I first got onstage, all those views were very titillating. But the excitement didn't last long, as I was conscious of everything and made way too many mistakes.

The most embarrassing mistake of all happened when I was singing 'Hak Won Byul Gok.' The choreography for that song was very aggressive so usually, I just set my mic down when I danced. Without much thought, I finished my "cool" dance part. When I looked down, I felt my eyes going blank. The mic that was supposed to be on the floor had disappeared! I had no idea how to overcome that situation so my legs started shaking.

Fortunately, the cameraman didn't show my embarrassing moment but it was very nonplusing for me.

From that day on, I acquired a new habit.

'Mark the floor before I set my mic down!'

Another episode that has to do with being onstage.

I don't become stingy when it comes to buying my shoes, but there is a sad reason behind it. Jekki's dance, especially mine usually turns out to be aggressive, so my shoe keeps on escaping my foot. It's not even funny. I always tie my shoes as tight as I can before I go onstage, but when I'm dancing, my poor shoe is always flying elsewhere.

Imagine having to sing as if I'm having fun, when I am checking for my shoe! Cold sweats were trickling down my back but now that I think about it, it is funny. I thank the fact that there are 6 members in those cases, so I am not alone.

I could laugh at these little mistakes. But when there are 'accidents' that prevent us from showing our true competence, I can no longer laugh.

Our first official, non-cable debut was aired on MBC TV's "Ingi Gayo Best 50." We were so excited about this fact that we practiced all night for our dance and song. We were prepared. At the rehearsal, we were even complimented by the related personnel that we were 'quite alright.'

But when the actual live show began, something went wrong with the audio so our voices were killed off. We crowded in the corner of our waiting room and started crying because we were so angry. We couldn't erase our overnight practice. We could imagine the fans' disappointment and the families' sadness.

But I guess that accident brought us good luck. Afterwards, we always showed great stage manner without any big mistakes. It seems that as we are more experienced, we make fewer mistakes. But still, the stage comes to me as the most fearful existence. It makes me very high but also very nervous.

 

 

Chapter 9: Dreaming of Being a Cartoonist

"Jae Jin, you have some potential in drawing...keep it up."

Ever since I was little, I could draw better than anyone else could. Like I mentioned earlier, my father who was a detective always won first place at a montage drawing contest, so I am very certain that I inherited my artistic talent from him.

When I was old enough to grab things in my hands, I started drawing at home. As I started using watercolors in 4th grade, I was more interested by drawing. It was to a point where I won all the awards that concerned drawing.

"Mom, I drew this all day, please take a look!"

"Wow Jae Jin, you can really draw!"

I drew more diligently, just to see my parents' smiling faces when they got home late from work. But as I grew older, I realized that drawing was a luxury in my environment. My parents couldn't even afford to buy me cheap watercolors. Whenever I entered a contest, it seemed as if my peers were showing off in front of me, as they drew with their expensive watercolors.

So I gave up being an artist officially. What captivated me at that point was drawing cartoons. I needed no expensive watercolors and I didn't have to envy my friends that were rich. I could replicate any cartoon drawing I saw once. I even wrote a story along with my drawings and sent them to a publisher in Seoul. I was awarded for that. My friends really envied me.

Even though I knew that I couldn't afford to go to an art university, it was not easy for me to give up drawing. So I practiced whenever I found an opportunity.

For that reason, I advanced to Kong Ye High School of Arts in Pusan. I still remember how nervous I was at the audition. I glanced at people next to me and they could really draw! I was discouraged at the thought that they were all professionally trained. But I proceeded with what I had been practicing all along ...I drew a clothespin and got admitted.

If I hadn't become a singer, by now, I might've been a no-name cartoonist, wandering around some publishing company. I imagine myself being a famous cartoonist in 10 or 20 years from now. Since I lack in my foundation, I wish to study abroad in Japan or America and learn more about animation. But as of now, I want to try my best as a Jekki member. I hope I remain the same self, always working hard, even in 10 or 20 years from now.

 

 

Chapter 10: I am a Professional One-Sided Lover

I am such a clueless boy when it comes to love. I never step up and express my feelings when I have someone I like, I just wander around that person. I was like that when I was in elementary, and I haven't changed since. I was pretty juvenile, only torturing the girls I like rather than being nice to them.

My very first one-sided love goes all the way back to my elementary days. Hye Jin was pretty and smart so she was very popular. I liked her too but I was mean to her and even made her cry.

In middle school, my one-sided love continued. I started liking a girl that I saw coincidentally so I always watched her at the same time, on the same spot.

"Hey! You're still aching all by yourself? I'll do some research for ya!"

But that girl was way different from what I had thought. She appeared quiet on the outside but she was actually someone who played quite a bit. And she even had a boyfriend... Thus, my second one-sided love ended not so productively.

And then came my very first love, not one-sided. I started getting pretty famous in Pusan as I danced with my friends. I was then introduced to someone that claimed to have fallen in love with my dance. She was very feminine and quiet, and I too was someone that was shy.

We met once a week to exchange the letters we wrote each other. It was an awkward meeting at a bus stop, where we just gave each other the letter and parted. I didn't get to talk to her much but I do remember drawing a lot of courage from her letters. A while later, we broke up spontaneously because she had to study and I had to dance. But she still remains in my heart as my purely beautiful first love.

I guess I had too many crushes since I was little. When I find someone that I like, I have a habit of first observing her from a distance. And I wait for my feelings to grow and when I really start to like her, I step up. That is why I like someone that I find cuter every time I see her. And I also like someone who is confident about herself. That way, even if I don't fill her everything, she would be happy.

I am 21 years old now. I too want to hang out with my girlfriend as my other friends do. But right now, I just want to sleep whenever I find a moment and I am way too tired- there is no way I can treat someone nicely at this point even if I do love her. I want to wait until I have room in my heart, both physically and mentally.

Same thing goes for a marriage. Until I am competent enough to make my loved one happy, I want to postpone it. And I want to get married when I have enough confidence to love just one woman for the rest of my life. I don't want to take after my parents' generation, where they continue their unhappy marriage just because of their children.

 

 

Chapter 11: My Guardian Angel

The stage and search lights that turn on just for me, and the reflection of myself dancing dynamically below those lights...

This was the stage I imagined of before I became a singer.

I always had liked being onstage. So I really adore my life as a singer since I can sing and dance onstage. I've danced in Pusan too, but sometimes it feels dreamy that I am in Seoul, receiving all the fans' love.

First of all, I achieved my dream by becoming a singer. Many people out there may spend rest of their lives without accomplishing or knowing what they want. I, myself, had a goal since I was little and I achieved that goal before I turned 20 years old. I am very proud of myself for that.

And I may sound materialistic for saying this but I also like the fact that I earned a lot of money. I could buy a house to my mother who lived her entire life without one, I could buy suitable clothes and shoes for dancing to my Quicksilver friends, and I could also buy my sister her cell phone. Those things were all possible because I earned money.

But I would like to stress to my fans that being a popular singer doesn't necessarily hold its pinkish little world. Many teenagers these days seem to hold too big of a fantasy about being in entertainment business. I could totally empathize since I was once that way before I debuted.

An entertainer always has to care about his/her 'shown' image. In reality, it's even hard to have a meal outside without any difficulties. I would rather give my autograph after I eat but people would then tell me that I am arrogant, so I cannot be that way. When I go down to Pusan on holidays, I have to give at least 1000 autographs a day as I get called from a house to a house of my relatives. That is why I prefer wearing a hat or sunglasses to cover myself up as much as possible. I feel very uncomfortable when people look at me.

Some extreme adults give me their criticizing glares since I am a teen dance singer. 'My kid won't study because he is distracted by them...' 'So ostentatious as little kids...' I can perfectly read off those expressions on their faces. But I don't think they particularly care that I know what they are thinking.

And it is not easy to make friends anymore now that I am a celebrity. Not just the ones from opposite sex, but it's also hard to make friends that I can talk to easily from same sex.

I am currently attending Kyung Ki University, where many other entertainers go. I major in multimedia screen theatre (*Note: Not sure what this exactly is). As my classmates, I have HOT's Jae Won, Woo Hyuk, FinKL's Jin, and a few other actresses.

There also are many friends that want to be potential entertainers. They treat me more as an 'entertainer friend' rather than just spontaneously referring to me as a normal friend. It's not really their fault- it's due to the lack of time to befriend them and the disparity in our environments.

Although I face many of these hardships, I still think of myself as a lucky person. I am aware that my kind of luck doesn't visit everyone. So if there is a guardian angel somewhere watching over me, I want to bow and just say 'thank you' over and over. That's how happy I am these days. And as much as I'm happy, I want to always remain humble and try my best.

 

 

Chapter 12: Kim Jae Ju from Quicksilver speaks of his friend Jae Jin

I was still an immature 8th grader when I first met Jae Jin. I had already known his face since we lived in a same neighborhood, but I never had a chance to befriend him. My first impression of Jae Jin from a distance was that he was a very handsome boy, with dark pupils and visible facial features. He looked just like Jackie Chan that was popular among us back then.

I coincidentally started attending a library with him. As I talked to him, I found out that he was a very deep thinker. He spoke non-hesitantly of his hardships in his household. I could not be prejudiced against him.

Then an incident occurred where we were transformed as dancing friends, from being just playmates. It began when we met one of the musketeers, Tae Yong. Tae Yong taught us Deux's choreography and we were immediately captivated by the charm of dancing, even though we had never expressed it prior to then.

"Why not make an official team name, no? I thought about it all night ...how about Mook? Isn't it cool?"

Jae Jin, being an active person, named our team and also became the leader. Both Tae Yong and I supported the idea of Jae Jin being the leader.

Thanks to his assertiveness, we practiced hard everyday. We became more famous as we advanced to high school, so we changed our name to Quicksilver. We were so famous in Pusan to a point where potential dancers came for an audition to join the team.

Eventually, we went to Seoul for an audition and Jae Jin became a member of Jekki. I was hiding my sadness at that time, and he was so apologetic to me. He was condemning himself for the outcome.

"Jae Ju, you just didn't have enough luck this time. Whenever there is an audition in Seoul, I'll contact you. Wait for my call, okay?"

I could totally tell how bad Jae Jin felt for me since he had always been an affectionate person. Jae Jin is now famous as a member of Jekki, but I am thankful that he hasn't changed from the way he was before he became a singer. Since I am a student, he obviously makes more money than I do. As if it is his duty, he always sends me clothes and shoes. He is a very kind friend.

"I want to live in Cheju Island. Wanna come with me?"

A while ago, Jae Jin asked me this jokingly. We could never forget Cheju Island we traveled to back in high school. We held a dance party there and received beers from adults (since we couldn't drink of course, we sold them to buy food). The wind blew so strong so it knocked our tent over. It was a trip full of enjoyable memories.

Lastly, I wish for Jae Jin to show off his abilities onstage, in the name of Quicksilver. I will always support him for being a Jekki member.

"Jae Jin! Our friendship will last forever!"

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-A500FU using Tapatalk

[lovelovelove681]

Ko Ji Yong Autobio

 

Just a while ago, I lived with my grandmother. She waited for me all night when I came home late. The fans are probably not much different from her. They always watch me and give me strength no matter what I do: and my parents who accept all my bratty whines and tell me to always try my best. Because of them, I get to be on stage and I, Go Ji Yong, exist. I wrote this autobiography to show my gratitude.

Ko Ji Yong

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - A Rustic from Dong Bu Ee Chon City

Chapter 2 - I Don't Like My Double Eyelids

Chapter 3 - Running Away from Grandma

Chapter 4 - What a Tough Personality!

Chapter 5 - Marching Girlfriends as Cheerleaders

Chapter 6 - From Deux to Tupac

Chapter 7 - Sad Ji Yong's Long Neck

Chapter 8 - Things I Earned and Lost from being a Singer

Chapter 9 - A Sip of Failure, Pretty Bitter

Chapter 10 - Sending Away my Girlfriend

Chapter 11 - The Things I Like

Chapter 12 - Mother Yoo Bok Joon Speaks of her Son Ji Yong

 

 

 

Chapter 1: A Rustic from Dong Bu Ee Chon City

Is it because I joined later than the other members? My times passed much faster than anyone else’s. As I thought about what I was exactly doing and recollected my past, I realized that my fans’ love was too great.

It’s vague in my memory how fast the times went by since I was chasing after all the love that the fans were giving me, ever since my debut stage in 1997. At last, I found a little time for myself as I was preparing for the 4th album. I could finally view how I appeared as a member of Jekki objectively. How is it different from Go Ji Yong as a ‘normal person?’ Wasn’t I too arrogant? How should I train myself to be?

I don’t know where to start. What I know for sure is that I am trying to be more mature as I go through some self observations. At the same time, I want to cherish all my fans’ love and be proud to be in Jekki.

Mature Ji Yong…

I don’t think I was ever like that. I was the last of the 2 children so I don’t think I was ever mature. The mischievous image seems so suitable for me but how come the mature one isn’t? I ask myself that.

Han River Mansion in Dong Bu Ee Chon City, Yong San County, Seoul, is my hometown. I moved just within that city 3 times so I never left there. In other words, I am a rustic from Dong Bu Ee Chon City.

"You were so pretty so I was thinking of having another son just like you!"

Believe it or not, but I guess my round face with eyes that had double eyelids were my trademark as a little boy. My mother loves me very much so she always expresses her love by saying these things.

My dad, Go Sang Ju, works at a commerce that exports machines. He is a typical guy from Kyung Sang Do. I can tell his deep love but usually, he is so stiff. Sometimes his temper just ‘exploded’ so he sure beat me up a lot. If you think I was raised like a pretty boy because I was his only son, heck no. Thanks to my dad who had a philosophy that he should raise me even more harshly, my calves never escaped his stick.

But nope, he would not beat me up without a just cause. Usually I deserved it whenever I goofed around or talked back to adults, especially to my mom. Once, I was talking back to her and he witnessed it. He hit my legs with his shoehorn so hard that I then realized what it felt like to have my blood vessels pop. That shoehorn wasn’t made out of plastic but metal, that’s why.

I feel disrespectful for describing my mom, Yoon Bok Joon, as ‘cute,’ but I can’t find a better expression for her. She is very womanly and charming. Ever since she married my dad, she has been operating a jewelry shop. Just like its name, ‘BORANG,’ it is a very pretty place. It is also in Dong Bu Ee Chon City, so everyone knows about it and there are many dedicated customers among celebrities.

Her hometown is in Choong Chung Do. She can never win over my stubbornness (actually, she’s probably just pretending to lose). So even nowadays, when I have some big favors for her, she just glares at me once and grants them for me anyway….

 

 

Chapter 2: I Don’t Like my Double Eyelids

Thanks to my mom who has a keen sense of fashion from operating a jewelry shop, I never have to worry about my clothes and accessories. Everything other than my shoes are hand-picked by her. Mama’s boy? Well… not really. It’s just that as a celebrity, it is impossible for me to shop freely so I just use my mom for help. What’s really fortunate is that she is a very good shopper. She searches the entire city just to make me into a stylish guy.

My mom is the last of the 7 children. Her eyes, especially her double eyelids, are exceptionally pretty. My face? I think I resemble half of her and the other half of my dad. According to those around me, I looked more like my mom when I was little and as I grew up, I got closer to looking like my dad. I’m not too happy about my double eyelids that resemble my mother’s. I only had it on one eye and one day, I rubbed my other eye and got it on that one as well.

"Why did you make me like this, Mom!"

Sometimes I whine to my mom. Frankly, I dislike double eyelids on guys’ eyes. I rather like ‘reeeeeally’ slitted eyes that somewhat appear charismatic. When I whine to my mom, she just glares at me but really, I should just thank my parents for at least having me like this, so no complaining! (Hahaha)

I will introduce my sister now. She majors in German at Sung Shin Women’s University. Her name is Go Hye Na. She is only 2 years older than me so we really fought a lot. We both have big ego and are very stubborn. And we never like to lose so we fought to a point where one of us just went ‘WAHHH’ and cried. Given this opportunity, I’d like to apologize to her. Sorry noona! (Since I’m younger…)

Nowadays? We never fight. Because I rarely see her! You would think I’d get some free time when we are on a break for our next album but no way, my day and night are switched so I never really see my family. My sister is already at her school library or does something else by the time I wake up. And when I come home, she’s already in her la-la land, so we can’t fight even if we wanted.

She claims that she never announced that "My younger brother is Go Ji Yong in Jekki." It’s due to her personality. She doesn’t like to receive attention from things like that. Of course, there are quite a few friends who know me as her brother from preschool to high school (until my junior year). Besides them, people rarely think my sister and I are related.

But! She has one advantage of having a singer as a brother. Her pocket is always full of money. We both get allowances from our parents, but in my case, I never use money not because I don’t have any but mostly because I have no time. My parents give me a lot since I’m always outside and once in a while, Mr. Lee Ho Yeon gives me a ‘bonus.’ So everything that remains from all that goes to my sister. I’m supposedly ‘lending’ it to her but usually, once it goes in into her pocket, it never comes back out. So noona, please don’t think you only have disadvantages of having me as a younger brother! Don’t you see some of the good things here?!

 

 

Chapter 3: Running Away from Grandma

I can’t leave out the part about my grandma if I were to talk about my childhood days. She is in her 80’s now, almost turning 90. Just a while ago before we released our 4th album, she called me.

"I’m so bored. It’s no fun watching TV because you are not on it. When are you coming out?"

She is still pretty strong for her age. But she doesn’t do any special activities so she just spends her pastime watching TV shows or reading magazines I come out on.

She lives with my uncle in Eui Jung Boo now but when I was little, she lived at my house. Since my mom owned a shop, I can almost say that I grew up in my grandma’s hands. I’ll just tell you guys honestly- my grandma is very profane. She swears so much. The little mischievous boy that I was, she cursed at me so much.. that’s probably what made me taller since I was digesting all her profanity.

"You damn son of a - !!"

No misunderstanding here! I’m not saying my grandma was that rough, it’s just the fact that she was a countrywoman made her like this. When I was running away from her and tripped over a rock and fell, she always cussed at me. I always liked hanging out with my friends (just like now) so I was never home. When I got into preschool and made some friends, I liked the playground better than my own room.

By the time of sunset, my mom, my grandma, and even the lady who worked at my mom’s shop searched for me, so I must’ve been a super naughty boy. My grandma, of all people, always found me. Some kind of distinct ‘sense’ she had. No matter which friend’s house and which playground I was at, she always found me. I remember vividly trying to squirm out of her hands and running away from her. She then always chased after me as she cussed excessively… I now really miss those times.

At least until 2nd grade, I couldn’t run any faster than her. She would run after me like crazy and just grab the back of my neck. My record for a 100m distance at that time was about 21 seconds.. Whoa~ so you can imagine what a passionate grandma she was, since she was faster than me.

Back in the days, my grandma had way more children than she has now (7). But as she went through Korean War, she lost many of them. I think to myself that her creative swearing now is the instinct she developed from raising that many children, since it would’ve been difficult for her to just be ‘nice’ all the time raising all those brats. (Sorry mom, Aunt, Uncle).

When she stayed home, she really liked playing with me. Yep, it’s me who taught her that fun Go-Stop (*Note: Korean card game, X-rated due to its inappropriate usage of words).

"Grandma this is ‘light,’ and this is ‘double blood’….."

She seems to show off her Go-Stop skills she learned from me. She still plays it at her senior center.

But she has gotten a lot weaker these days. Whenever I tell her, "You can’t pass away until you see your Ji Yong getting married~," she shakes her head and says "I don’t think I’ll live that long." Hmm… should I get married faster just for her? I should think about it!!

 

 

Chapter 4: What a Tough Personality!

My mom was hardly ever home when I was little so I went to 3 different preschools. So imagine how smart I was! (Not really due to my competence but rather because they forced me to have early education). Ban Suk, Riverside, and Dae Gun Preschools. I was such a troublemaker while I attended all 3.

When I meet my friends from back in those days, they still tell me,

"You were pretty tough back then, Ji Yong!"

It’d me more suitable to say that I was ill-tempered. Once, I went camping with my teachers and friends. During our mealtime, everyone was eating, I think it was curry. But some kids that came from other preschool were trying to pick a fight. They told us to move because we were sitting in their spot. I got so pissed off so I just took my tray that had food and poured it in his face. He started crying and he told his teacher so I was scolded by my teachers. It was an open embarrassment on their part. So for a while, among my friends, I was known as a ‘malicious’ boy. But my hot-tempered personality seemed to change slowly afterwards.

I was an outgoing boy until I graduated elementary. Not just in studying but in playing as well. I now wonder why I was so immature back then, and I just smile to myself. I also held this obsession of being an exemplary student because I was the class council during all 6 of my elementary years. Wait, in 5th grade, I didn’t hold any position in leadership. If I remember correctly, something went wrong and I wasn’t nominated at all, so I must’ve still been a wicked boy back then.

After being a school president in 6th grade, my liking of being an active Ji Yong ended. I became rather passive in middle school, feeling embarrassed in front of people.

Now let me talk about how I met Sung Hoon. He is still my closest friend now. I met him back in 2nd grade while attending Shin Yong San Elem. School. Just like now, Sung Hoon had round eyes and a small face so he looked like an actor. We were so competitive in being mischievous, it wasn’t even funny. Sung Hoon too, was a boy with leadership skills so he was the vice president of our 5th grade class. He was a charming boy.

Sung Hoon, some of our friends, and I hung out together and went to many places in Dong Bu Ee Chon City. We mainly saw the movies we liked and played basketball by Han River. Dong Bu Ee Chon City was located in the riverside so we could walk.

Sung Hoon’s mom was close to my mom and I think they still keep in touch with each other. I owe a lot to Sung Hoon’s mom for being a member of Jekki. When both of my parents opposed, she persuaded my mom and eventually changed my dad’s mind.

I was the class president in 6th grade so my mom was automatically placed in the president position in PTA. It must’ve been troublesome for her but she did so much for me, and my school.

In elementary days, I played all kinds of sports. Especially skiing. I started skiing in preschool with my parents so I’m pretty good now. Even when I was little, I found that no one was skiing better than me besides the instructor. I’m confident that I could be a professional skater since I had been skating since elementary. On top of that, I also played soccer, basketball, and tennis. I could never stay quiet so I was pretty good in playing sports that ‘moved’ a lot. My mom still tells me, "You can do anything but sitting still." What can I do, it’s in my nature.

 

 

Chapter 5: Marching Girlfriends as Cheerleaders

I only have good memories from my elementary days. I particularly remember my teachers liking me because I was the class president. My first ‘debut’ stage happened when I went on the 6th grade camping. We went to Kyung Ju and during the talent show, Sung Hoon, Jong Geun and I danced to Taiji Boys’ songs. "Nan Al Ah Yo," "Hwan Sang Sok Eui Geu Dae," "Ee Bam Ee Gip Uh Ga Ji Man" the remix version- with these 3 songs, we practiced for a month and waited for the outcome.

The reaction? Of course it was fantastic! Why? I made a cheering team beforehand and nearly threatened people, "You, if you don’t scream when I dance, I’m gonna kill you!" I mainly picked girls to make the team and as loyal girls as they were, they screamed "ACCCCKKKK!!" and cheered us on. Our pictures were featured in the end of our yearbook so my memories are refreshed when I look at them.

The closest girl friend among them was named Kim Min Sung, who sat right next to me. Actually, she was Jong Geun’s girlfriend (?) so it was awkward for me to say that she was my girl space friend. But we were much closer. I heard that she is now studying abroad in England, and I suddenly miss her.

I was never shy during that time because we were coed, so I hung out with many girls. I didn’t do anything special for my extracurricular activities but I was in boy scout. I made a lot of girlfriends there too and the main type of my favorite was usually someone that was quiet and feminine. I kind of had this conservative thought that "Girls should be like girls!" so rather than the ones who played around, I liked quiet and womanly girls. I picked on them and was mean to them. Why? Because I liked them!

In middle school, I was both the class council and the school president. For the first time, in my 2nd year, I was the vice council. It felt the load was so much lighter. I think I was known to be the laziest vice in the whole school.

Once in art, my teacher gave us a theme to draw and walked out of the classroom. I just drew something unrecognizable and slept. Fortunately, I didn’t get caught. I was only ‘brave’ in being a troublemaker back in those days.

I started listening to music since elementary and really started liking it in middle school. The group I liked at that time was Deux, especially Kim Sung Jae who is dead now. Not just me but the ones I hung out with mostly liked Deux. I could never get sick of watching them because they were so versatile. Kim Sung Jae had a cool voice and was very masculine so I believe he was popular among guys as well.

So I remember very vividly when he passed away. In 9th grade, the hot issue was Kim Sung Jae’s comeback stage after Deux split. I was buying some drinks at a mart with my friends when I saw on the sports newspaper that wrote ‘Kim Sung Jae Dead!’

"Ji Yong, look!"

My friend shouted loudly but my friends and I just said "Don’t even go there, the sports news is just lying!" I really didn’t want to believe it.

The next day, it was proven true and all of us including myself were so depressed. Some girls around us just cried their hearts out. It really made my heart ache. If he was still alive, he would have been my most respected senior singer….

 

 

Chapter 6: From Deux to Tupac

‘Such speedy and fresh music!’

I was mostly affected by Taiji Boys musically. At that time, Kim Ji Ae’s trot song was trendy so I was obviously singing those trot songs….

I bought all the CD’s and tapes from 1st to 4th album by Taiji Boys. I listened to each verse as if I was analyzing. I also studied their dance. Just like any other teenagers back then, the Taiji Syndrome didn’t leave me for a long time.

I always went to sleep with my radio on. Also when I was studying. I usually listened to R&B style songs right before I went to sleep or was studying because they were soothing. I particularly enjoyed Boyz II Men. Besides them, I was always amazed by Taiji Boys’ and Deux’s talents.

For the foreign music, I like hiphop groups. Especially when I listen to ‘2Pac,’ I just feel like I’m being pulled into a fantasy world. 2Pac was originally in gang. But 3 years ago, he passed away due to a shooting amongst gangs. As you know, in America, the rappers are divided into East and West and are not on so good terms. And many times, they go on shooting rampage, being the gangs they are. Sadly, it resulted in someone as great as 2Pac to die.

He is black and it’s really notable how he has a charismatic impression. And what about his voice color. Soft yet ripping, very unique voice that flows. When I listen to his voice, I always think to myself, ‘Ah, this is the charm of hiphop music.’

I am not sure how close I will be to music in my life in the future. But if I can live doing music, I want to do soft hiphop that can satisfy all the listeners. I don’t want to do the type of music that would just have me satisfied. It probably relates to my liking of ballads ever since I was little.

I seemed to like music more than others, but I really did not think I would become a singer. But Sung Hoon was different. Whenever he sang in our music class, he sang pretty well. He had a very pretty voice so he seemed to possess the ability to sing any song beautifully. Most of all, Sung Hoon habitually said, "I’m going to be a singer," so when he finally did, it was no surprise.

But I was a different case. First of all, I myself never dreamed of being a singer so my friends, as well as I, were all surprised.

"Really, you’re gonna do it?"

Even when I enrolled in Joong Kyung H.S., I had pretty high grades and I was studious. I had the goal of wanting to major in business at Yeon Se University. But suddenly, I decided to become a singer….

 

 

Chapter 7: Sad Ji Yong’s Long Neck

I first met Mr. Lee Ho Yeon from DSP when I went to Kim Po Airport. It was when I went to greet Sung Hoon who came back from Hawaii. There were way too many people surrounding Sung Hoon including his mother, so I didn’t even recognize most of the faces. A while later, Sung Hoon called me.

"Ji Yong, do you want to be a singer?"

"….."

"Mr. Lee asked me to ask you if you wanted to do it. Hey, think about it."

At first, I didn’t even listen to him, saying that it was a nonsense. For an ordinary student like me, what’s being a singer? Most of all, I had no courage to do it and I was just afraid.

I rejected this offer, saying that I had to study. But after I heard it, the singers that appeared on TV didn’t look the same to me anymore.

‘How about doing it once. I’m not just stopping at listening to music, but I’m singing it myself.’

I changed my mind about 12 times everyday.

‘I’ll lack in my studies then…’

‘How about doing it as something memorable in my young days.’

In conclusion, I decided to rely my life on the occupation as a singer. Then I visited Mr. Lee with Sung Hoon.

"I want to be a singer. I will try my best."

"Why did you reject the first time?"

"…."

"Hahaha."

The answer was OK! Mr. Lee just laughed heartily and stuck me, Go Ji Yong, in Jekki that was already finishing up the recruiting process.

The other members had already been practicing for a year so it was very difficult for me to catch up. I lacked in singing, dancing, everything. So I practiced harder to make up for it.

For the first time, I resented the fact that I was tall.

My height is 178.5cm. Generally speaking, it isn’t very tall but compared to the other members, I stick out. So when I did a little better, or worse than anybody else, I was immediately noticed. Well, not really about doing ‘better,’ but when I made mistakes, I was so noticeable! My face reddened so many times whenever I watched the videos that were taken during practices.

"Ji Yong, fold faster!"

"Ji Yong, duck faster!"

They were referring to my particularly long arms and neck. I was taller than everyone else so I had to be faster in order to stay in beat. If any of you think I’m trying to ‘stand out,’ please do understand that it is due to my physical attributes, not because I want to really stand out.

When it came to dancing, I asked Jae Jin and Jae Duc a lot. They were both kind in teaching me so as the time went by, I was able to learn many things.

 

 

Chapter 8: Things I Earned and Lost from Being a Singer

If I were to calculate my profits and losses after I became a singer, how would it be?

The biggest thing I earned is the love from our fans. How would I ever receive such a great of love in my life. It is something very unimaginable if I weren’t a celebrity.

Things I lost…

Well, I am not sure how others would think but as far as school, it is something that scarred my heart, as well as my parents’. Firstly with high school. I had lived in Dong Bu Ee Chon all my life so when I had to leave Joong Kyung H.S., it hurt me so much.

"I’m sorry, Ji Yong. I don’t have much power over this."

This is what my principal said as he sent me away.

‘Entertainers should go to entertainers’ school!’

There were many letters of protest from the parents. It’s because when I became a singer, everyone else wanted to stop studying and do the same.

"I wanted you to graduate from this school…"

Leaving my principal’s words behind, I decided to transfer. I had two choices. I could either go to KFS (Korean Foreign School) where Su Won and Sung Hoon were attending, or I could transfer to An Yang High School of Arts.

My father opposed to me going to KFS so I automatically was sent to An Yang. With the help of Mr. Lee Tae Won, who was the producer of our movie ‘Seventeen,’ I could transfer as a senior.

An Yang High School of Arts is far away from Seoul, which is its bad quality, but it has many good qualities like an art school should have. I majored in theatre arts, which had 2 classes. As my classmate, I had Baek Dong Woo who sang ‘Ma Bub Eui Sung,’ he even sat next to me. The class next door had Go Ho Kyung, Jang Duk Soo, and many other famous people. I transferred at the time Jekki stopped performing so I went to school diligently.

‘Would I adapt well?’

I worried at first but when I opened up first to kids, they treated me nicely. Thanks to them, I was exposed to many studies that I would not have learned in regular high school.

Unfortunately, even after I transferred to An Yang, I couldn’t study well. If I were a soloist, I could probably adjust my schedule but since I was a member of a group, I could not do so. There was a teacher who helped me and understood my difficulties. His name was Ryu In Soo, who was a teacher in my senior year. He taught language arts. I believe he was criticized very harshly because of me who had a low attendance record.

"So what if you’re a singer? As a student, you should come to school and study, no?"

When everyone criticized me for not coming to school, Mr. Ryu always defended me (this is something I heard later). It was because he was in his mid-thirties, which was relatively young, but most of all, he had a heart that truly understood my situation. Whenever I discussed my problems with him, he always took care of them before I asked him. I am very thankful.

After I graduated, I wanted to let him know that I was grateful so I gave Jekki’s concert tickets to his family. I asked my mom to actually come with him and let him watch in the front seat. After the concert, he patted my shoulder and smiled as if he was proud of me…now it remains as a good memory.

 

 

Chapter 9: A Sip of Failure, Pretty Bitter

‘Yes, I am no longer a teenager!’

Whenever I start to feel sad about my schooling and studying, I always tell this to myself and let go of it.

‘As someone in the 20’s, I will have a new life. I must live it to the fullest. You can do it, Ji Yong!’

Now I understand why my parents were so against my being a singer. Not just my mother, but my father’s opposition was very strong. To convince my mother, I just had to go to her numerous times and act ‘cute,’ but with my father, that was not enough. With my mother’s help, I was almost about to get my father’s permission. He called me in right before that.

"Ji Yong! You’re 18 years old now, standing on an important path of life. Whatever path you take will change the remainder of your life. Think hard."

"…."

Truthfully, I didn’t know what he meant back then.

Now I think about it, I had made a really big decision. Not that I am regretting it. I just feel guilty about treating this matter so ‘lightly’ at that time.

The school I attend now is not Seoul University that I once dreamed of going, or Yeon Se that I was thinking about going. It’s Seoul University of Arts. Honestly, my scores were better than I had predicted. So I figured that I would get admitted to Dong Guk University as a theatre major with ease. But the result was..? I failed! My mother was very disappointed, as well as I. She even cried out loud.. when I think about her now, it hurts me still.

On the day Dong Guk Univ. was announcing the people who got admitted, my mother called the school in order to know whether I got in or not. She heard that I was rejected. As she put down her receiver, her hand trembled and in order to calm her down, it took a while. It happened because none of us expected that I would be rejected.

"It’s for the better. I figured you needed to taste the bitterness of life, I’m glad it came to you early."

My father told me.

The bitterness of life. If someone asks me about its taste, I want to tell that person that it really sucks. It’s so bitter that I don’t ever want to taste it again.

At first, I thought ‘there are things that don’t go my way in this world.’ But now, I think ‘there are MANY things that don’t go my way in this world.’ I feel like I experienced this world a bit faster than my peers. This feeling is probably related to my reality as a celebrity.

 

 

Chapter 10: Sending Away my Girlfriend

Until 8th grade, I wasn’t that tall. In 9th grade, I grew about 15cm. Even I could feel myself growing tall everyday. If I grew ‘physically’ back then, I probably grew ‘mentally’ in last year until this year, before and after my life in college. It was during the 8 months of Jekki’s break.

When I was performing with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd albums, I was so busy. But during the break, I could have some free time in the mornings and do things that I didn’t get to do before. For example, there is something that I always enjoy doing- watching movies. I especially like Julia Roberts among actresses, so I watched every single movie that she came out on. I started to like her more when I watched "Notting Hill" recently! Her remarkable mouth, the one that is so big especially when she laughs, I find it very charming. You probably noticed it from me liking Julia Roberts that I like dramatic movies.

Right after I see a movie that subtly touched me in a deep away, I never get up from my seat. I close my eyes, cross my arms, and think back to the first scene of the movie. Then I become the main character myself and think to myself, ‘What would I have done?’ ‘I’m a millionaire- but I fall in love with a hostess……’ That is how I truly understand the entire movie.

I like war movies and triad movies as well. After I saw ‘Saving Private Ryan,’ I fell deeply into the war as I became Tom Hanks or Matt Damon in my imagination. I also liked ‘Thin Red Line’ and ‘Schindler’s List.’

As far as the actors, I like Nicholas Cage from ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ or George Clooney. They’re gray characters, evil but humane, the closest portrayal of what a human being is truly like in my opinion.

When I’m alone at home, I watch videos. During my break, I saw the movies that I liked a few years ago in theatre, such as ‘Before Sunrise,’ ‘Godfather,’ ‘Casino,’ ‘Pretty Woman.’

I like to watch videos alone, as well as movies. If someone else is next to me, I cannot be absorbed by the movie. So many of my girlfriends that I used to go out with complained a lot. If I were to watch a movie with one of them, I got mad at her for talking to me during a movie.

I will be honest. I went out with many girls. The one that I remember the most is the girl that I used to see right before Jekki was formed. She was the same age as me and we were very close. When Jekki’s performance just began, I was too busy so she stayed at my house until morning and hung out with my mom, and then we would meet when I come home.

Why did we break up? Well… it was due to my stubborn personality. A small misunderstanding came up and my not so negotiable personality just rose its head so I said something to her that was too harsh. Then we never got in touch again. Now that I think about it, I was too mean to her. She had high pride so afterwards, she disappeared from my life.

Whenever I feel too exhausted, I sometimes wish I have a girlfriend. I told my mom about this once, but I don’t think it’s the right time so I try to hold back a little. It is extremely difficult to maintain a relationship with one person when my schedule isn’t too flexible. So it’s on hold for now! I hope to meet someone who is understandable and quiet in the near future.. now, I only satisfy myself in my imagination.

 

 

Chapter 11: The Things I Like

Having sleepovers

Since I have no brother, I really like my friends and those who are my senior/junior in the neighborhood. What I enjoy the most is having sleepovers. I get so lonely if I try to sleep alone; I like talking with my friends before I fall asleep. There are countless times Sung Hoon spent his nights at my house, and vice versa. Jung Hwan, Kwang Joong, Sung Chul, Sung Wook, Jin Ho, Eui Je, Suk Hwan, Jong Geun, Won Joon. Would you think it’s strange for so many people to have the same hobby?

Ddol Ee

Benny (Yorkshire terrier) has been with my family since I was in 5th grade. A while ago, I was passing by some pet store and I bought a puppy that had impressive eyes. He was a pretty smart fellow, so I named him "Ddol Ee." Unfortunately, my dad sent him to someone else’s house so we had to part.

‘Father, you never even feed him!’

But I dared not say this in front of my scary father. My sister who was already fond of Ddol Ee told me to persuade Dad but I was about to give up.

But what is love! I could not forget Ddol Ee. I begged Dad. I was so adamant about it, it even surprised me because I had always been afraid of him. Because I was refusing to give up, he brought Ddol Ee back to me and my sister.

Yong San Family Park

A dating course with a girlfriend? I can confidently answer that question. Go to Yong San Family Park. Must bring a picnic basket (full of food) and a mat! Then sit under a shady tree and just talk. It sounds like I’m talking about a newly wed couple with children but it’s really the place I like and would want to recommend. The comfort of it all!

Chocolate Milk

There was some time I had way too much chocolate milk at my house. It was because I said in some interview that I liked chocolate milk. To be precise, I like Nesquick in white milk, not the actual chocolate milk. When I am about to wake up in the morning, my mom always takes out the milk I’d be drinking. Same thing in the evening. I always drink milk right before I go to sleep.. maybe because I’m not fully grown up yet?

 

 

Chapter 12: Mother Yoo Bok Joon Speaks of her Son Ji Yong

He didn’t change very much even after he became an entertainer. That’s the feeling I get from watching him as his mom. He likes to be spontaneous. So he doesn’t hesitate to wave his hand or shake hands with fans whenever he sees them, but sometimes that brings misunderstanding. Once in a while when he is not able to do the same, there are many fan letters that say he has ‘changed.’

When he was little, I owned a little shop so I could not spend much time with him. I regret it now. But with his grandmother and aunts, he grew up to be a fine boy, someone with leadership skills. When he won an award at an art contest, I thought he would be an artist. And when he got to participate in a math contest sponsored by Seoul University, I thought he would be a mathematician. I really didn’t expect him to be a singer.

"I really thought about it, Mom. I want to take this path."

I remember how determined he was when he told me so. I worried about how to persuade his dad but because I had faith in him, I eventually said yes. Whenever he was way too busy, I wished I hadn’t gave him the permission to be a singer. I was very saddened when he came home with his tired and starving body.

‘He likes to play so much, now he can’t…’

All parents must think like this – I really worry that he won’t be able to do other things in life. Fortunately, he teams up well with the other members so I am proud of him.

I am a close acquaintance of Shin Chul (the one who produced Jekki’s 4th album)’s mother. So when Ji Yong first said he wanted to be a singer, I talked to her first. And when I heard the news that Shin Chul was going to produce the 4th album, I was very happy. But Ji Yong nailed it to me,

"Mom, don’t even think about telling Chul’s mother to have him treat me nicely."

I wasn’t even thinking about it, but I saw where he could’ve gotten the idea. He is like that. He doesn’t want to be ashamed of the things he does.

A while ago, he worried about my white hair. I feel kind of empty, now that he has all grown up. He will leave me soon… I wish he would never become weak and give up in his life, since he got to learn about the world faster than his peers. I hope that he would lead a strong life and implement his roots into this society.

I especially thank the fans who like Ji Yong. They all seem like my daughters, always waiting for Ji Yong in front of our house. When I have to ignore them because I’m busy, it hurts me deeply as a parent.

Given this opportunity, I would like to thank them and hope that this relationship would last long.

[lovelovelove681]

Sunghoon Autobio

 

It has already been 2 years since we debuted... now we came up with our own autobiography, thinking of our newbie days. This is a great, heart throbbing event that we dared not thought of at the time of our debut. While in the process of writing, I thought that we were always showered with love we did not deserve. I really liked the fact that we could go back to thinking about the days before we debuted, the times that were most difficult due to practicing. I really thank our fans, who are always by my side and who never hesitate to give us deep love.

Kang SunG Hoon

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - Birthday Party that was Muddled Up with Whipped Cream

Chapter 2 - Inborn Stage Intuition

Chapter 3 - I Want to Study in America

Chapter 4 - The Audition I Took Rashly

Chapter 5 - The Fateful Meeting with the Members

Chapter 6 - Pansori Practive & Heavy Gymnastics

Chapter 7 - Fainting on the Stage, To the Hospital

Chapter 8 - Heartbreaking Performance

Chapter 9 - Movie, Musical, Everything OK!

Chapter 10 - Unlaughable Fan Letter

Chapter 11 - The Prettiest Girlfriend In School

Chapter 12 - Blessed With Friendly People

Chapter 13 - Should I Be a Producer or a Businessman?

Chapter 14 - Mother Jung Ye Geum Speaks of her Son Sung Hoon

 

 

 

Chapter 1: Birthday Party that was muddled up with whipped cream.

Today as well, I arrived home at 3 in the morning after recording. As always, fans were waiting in front of my apartment in Dong Bu Ee Chon City. It seemed like there were more than 30 fans, including the ones from out of Seoul. I was very tired. But it was not easy to ignore them.

'But if I be nice to every one of them, then I must do that to all the other fans too...'

I had some dilemma over that momentarily. But I ended up just lightly saying hi to them with my eyes and came home. I didn't feel too well about that. I feel bad that my sister-like fans wait for me in front of my house or studio, losing their sleep.

They must be the 'princesses' at home who are not envious of anyone, but I feel bad that they suffer because of me. Most fans are junior high, high schoolers, but sometimes, preschoolers wait in front of the office too. On the other hand, those who are as old as my mother give me their fan letters and disappear too.

"I came to like you when my daughter started liking you. This is the letter my daughter and I wrote together."

They must love me as their own son.

A while ago, I met parents of a fan, who adored me like their son. Some father came with a junior high student and rang my door bell.

"My kid is in junior high, and I was wondering if we could talk for a moment...."

He was very old, but he acted so shy that I didn't know what to do. I let him and that fan come into my house immediately. I gave them my autograph and I talked shortly with her.

"Who hasn't followed around a star when they were young? She's my daughter but I am glad that she follows you like a good brother, instead of getting off track."

Surely, parents these days looked like new generation. I thought that she was lucky to have parents like them.

Nothing can beat official fan meetings as a place to meet most number of fans. I find myself being confident than usual when there are events like that.

I even feel like screaming, 'Who else has been as lucky to be showered with this many birthday wishes as I did?' This year, February 22nd, I turned 20 years old and got messages and presents from thousands of fans.

"Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to dear Sung Hoon."

The other 5 members' and thousands of fans' voices echoed in the stage.

I blew the candles out. Then oops! That big cake came down and fell on the floor. 5 members started caking my face with no mercy. I got them back by throwing frostings and we laughed at each other's face that was muddled with whip cream. I think the fans had fun watching us being free. < P>At the moment I can be with my fans, I become the happiest prince in this world.

 

 

Chapter 2: Inborn Stage Intuition

"There was a huge snake in the middle and countless number of snakes surrounded that big snake and played around. That was the dream I had."

My mother thinks it signifies that the little snakes are fans and the big snake is me singing in front of people.

Maybe it was due to that dream of forthcoming conception. Ever since I was little, I showed signs of being an entertainer. A 3 year-old didn't know anything, but I was told that I always danced along to pop songs and adults adored me for it. I received so much love from people surrounding me, so much that people came just to hug me once. Especially, my grandfather gave me as much love as my parents did.

"I can't go do my work if I don't see my Sung Hoonie for one day."

When I was a newborn baby, Grandpa always came before and after work to our house to see me. When I grew old enough to play with toys, he bought all the new toys that were out; thanks to him, my house was filled with toys.

My debut stage as a kid with potential was at Grandpa's 60 year-old birthday party. I surprised all the adults by singing what was popular at the time, as a preschooler. On top of that, whenever I grabbed a mic, I never let go of it and I even became a host- this shows that I must have an inborn stage intuition.

Then when did my dancing skills come about? I wonder if my flexibility for dancing was formed from learning Tae Kwon Do back in elementary. You might think, how are those 2 related? But it is my theory that there is nothing like Tae Kwon Do to discipline a flexible body. Also, I learned at that time how content it was to move my body to perspire. I did Tae Kwon Do so hard that my master even told my mother that he wanted to raise me as a martial artist to represent the nation.

I mastered all the other kinds of sports; soccer and baseball needless to say, and skateboarding, roller-skating, and skiing. The times I got to show off my intuition as an athlete were in 5th and 6th grade. I represented my school and also my district as a track member. As a last runner up, I always led my team to victory. I got a 2nd place at a district-wide short distance competition, and even when my team was last, I always made it to win first. As well as my athletic abilities, my competitiveness was very strong.

There is not so funny episode related to track. It seems to be a tradition in our household, so my little sister Yoon Ji was also a good runner. When Yoon Ji led her white team to win, I always led my blue team back to victory. My sister always tells me that story and teases me for being a 'cold brother.'

 

 

Chapter 3: I Want to Study in America

Compared to other kids in my age, I was a mature boy ever since I was little. At the age to be lazy and be playful, I always prepared my school stuff of my own volition and woke up before my mother woke me up. She usually believes me and supports me for whatever I do, since I've been pretty independent as a kid.

It is no wonder that I was father-like to my sister, Yoon Ji. When she got beat up by kids in the neighborhood, I made so much fuss about it. I always bought her school supplies when she had something to take to school the next day, and I even bathed her when she was little- I was a caring brother. I don't see her very often because she is in Japan right now for her language course but I always worry about her as a big brother.

"Even if you like your boyfriend, never propose to him first, okay?"

I possess generally an open-minded personality, but I seem to show my conservative sides, more or less than like a father would, when it comes to matters concerning my sister. She always looks at me weird whenever I say that because she is very outgoing, but sometimes, she treats me as if I'm something great. There aren't that many brothers who can give their sisters allowance as a student.

"My brother is so cool......."

Yoon Ji still looks little to me whenever she says this because she's happy that I give her money. Perhaps it's because I was more mature than other kids?

At the young age of grade 5, I experienced something grand that totally changed my life. I got to visit America as a school representative with kids from other schools when I joined little astronauts. The culture shock I experienced at the time was just unbelievable. It was a pure shock for a kid in elementary school that there was a big world outside other than school and home.

After I came back from America, nothing was interesting. Korea seemed to stuffy and shabby. I earnestly wanted to study in a new environment, after seeing the different culture in a foreign country.

"I want to study in America."

"What are you talking about? Let's think about it again when you grow up."

My mother must've been surprised, when I, merely a kid in elementary school, said that fearlessly. She probably thought that I just wanted to visit America again. She predicted that I would eventually forget about it but no way. My decision was already set and I persuaded my mother with persistence. At first, she only said no but as the time went on, she seemed to be thinking hard about it. At last, I begged for 3 years and finally got a permission to go to America.

The place I went to study abroad was Hawaii Mission School. That was the America I dreamed about.

 

 

Chapter 4: The Audition I Took Rashly

I wanted to be responsible for the decision I made. Because I went against my mother to come to America, I got used to it fast and I tried my best to live. I experienced the free air of Hawaii and studied hard, resulting in getting straight A's in all my classes.

The turning point in my life that revolved around studying was when I met coincidentally with Ji Wonie hyung. At first, I wasn't interested in him because he was always so quiet and he sat way in the back. I just thought of him as a fellow Korean student in the same class.

Then one day, he started talking to me.

"Where do you live?"

The meeting with hyung that began so trivially. We realized that the more we talked, the better we connected. Especially the fact that we were both into music and dance made us closer.

From my aunt's house to school was a distance of 1 hour, so I moved out and began living with Ji Wonie hyung. Everyone seemed to be worrying about me, including my mother in Seoul and my aunt in Hawaii. They were pretty concerned as to whether I will get off track, since I was still at a young age.

I was indeed young, but I didn't want to be hassled by anyone and I had a strong pride. To prove that I could live independently, I tried so hard. Studying, cleaning bathroom, laundry, and housework, I always tried to keep things in order.

For me who had no older brother, Ji Wonie hyung took care of me better than a real brother would. By hanging out with him who danced well and sang well, I got exposed to diverse kinds of dance and music.

Then a historical event that I would call as a turning point in my life occurred. It was the day where one of the people I knew from the club had his birthday party at a club called "Juliana" in Hawaii. He told me and Ji Wonie hyung to sing in the next door since a production owner and producers from Korea were there.

Without saying anything like "Watch us" or "How do you do," we sang what was popular at the time, "Na Uh Ril Juhk Ggoom" by Turbo, along with a dance. We sang some more afterwards, but I remember not being embarrassed at all and just trying our best. Mr. Lee Ho Yeon from DSP and Producer Eun Kyung Pyo were present at the time.

After we finished dancing, Mr. Lee asked us "Don't you guys want to be singers?"

I didn't even think of that as an audition, I just danced and sang with no purpose. My answer accidentally slipped out and I yelled "Yes!"

"Right, I really like you guys. I'll contact you very soon."

He contacted us sooner than we thought. The next day, we heard from our friend that he wanted to see us again.

"Let's work together well."

When he spoke warmly to us at a hotel lobby, I felt as if I were dreaming.

 

 

Chapter 5: The Fateful Meeting with the Members

"Singer? No way!"

My mother, who was in Seoul, opposed firmly when she received a sudden international call from me. She was insecure enough that she sent me away this far, but now a singer! I understood how she felt. But my mind was already completely set on becoming a singer. I had no way but to persuade her. The who helped persuading her at the time was my aunt in Hawaii.

"Sung Hoon I observed in Hawaii was a smart student but also a kid with stage intuition. I don't know but he will succeed. Let him do it."

My aunt, who was a former actress, told my mother this. Eventually, I got on a plane to Seoul a month later, in August of 1997. But an unexpected situation awaited us. In Seoul at the time, a dance group consisting of 5 or 6 members were popular. I was disappointed at the fact that our group was going to have 6 people in it.

"I am not a monkey in a zoo, I wouldn't like to sing in a group that has so many members."

I don't know where the heck I got that boldness when I think about it now, but I told frankly to Mr. Lee. Then I didn't even turn back and just concentrated on studying. He tried to persuade me, and at the same time, also told my mother to change my thoughts.

I tried to study hard. But truthfully, the dream of being a singer that I once had couldn't be erased so easily. My mother was the one who changed my mind at the time.

"Sung Hoon, you are young but you should keep the promise you made with Mr. Lee. And think for one last time if you can give up your dream so easily."

She was right.

"Mom, I'll do it. I'll try hard."

And when my mind was completely turned over was when I met the members now. When I saw Su Won who gave kind and cool feeling, and the super awesome dancers Jae Duggie hyung and Jae Jinnie hyung, my faith settled in. And lastly, Ji Yong whom I introduced to Mr. Lee. He was an exemplary student who ranked in top 10 of his class but also one of my friends that danced and hung out with me since I was little.

When us 6 got together, I had nothing to envy in this world and I had confidence to do well. And when we went through tearful hours of practicing, my worries at first melted away as snow would.

 

 

Chapter 6: Pansori Practice & Heavy Gymnastics

*Note: Pansori is the Korean version of a long epic poem, a type of a traditional performance.

The dance practice had already lasted over 2 hours but no member suggested taking a break. At this moment, our manager stopped the music.

"Let’s not go overboard and take a short break here."

But someone else turned on a trendy song sung by some other popular group at the time. Jae Dukkie hyung stood up and imitated the choreography of that group exactly the same. I followed his lead and tried to change my mood.

During our practice days before our debut, when someone said that we should take a break and turned off the music, we were seated for a little moment and someone else turned on the music again. We supposedly were tired but no one rested and only concentrated on practicing. The members gathered during the afternoons because we had school in the morning. Until the whole day was over, we were obsessed with dancing and singing.

Thanks to our passion, we heard critiques that our singing and dancing abilities were improving. On top of that, what we learned in order to upgrade our singing was the pansori. We all know that the pansori is famous for opening up our voices and making them smoother. We tried hard to become good pansori singers. Our song, ‘Hak Won Byul Gok,’ had a lot of screaming parts in it so the pansori practice helped a lot.

The next thing we learned was the heavy gymnastics. We did so because we thought it was necessary in order to show more masculine and vigorous dance routines. We were doing it for the first time so our bodies were exhausted but as we practiced every day, our tumbling and jumping abilities improved tremendously, making us forget all about the hardships of learning.

It must have been the fruits of our effort, that our first TV appearance in the KMTV’s "Show! Music Tank" was a huge success. Many related producers complimented us, 200,000 album copies of preorder, ranking in the top 10 just in one month of release, and the record setting hit of 4 songs simultaneously- we slowly started pacifying the gayo industry.

 

 

Chapter 7: Fainting on the stage, to the hospital

On a day we had a TV appearance on KMTV after we released our 2nd album, the beginning orchestration of my favorite song ‘Gi Sa Do’ was starting. The fans were cheering with passion, with the placards that had my name on them. But I was having cold sweats, and I wanted to collapse because my stomach was hurting too much.

‘Is it appendicitis? I have to hold on, I will be alright. I can’t faint on the stage.’

No matter how much I tried to withstand, the stomachache was intermittently repeating. My vision started to blur when the song was almost near its ending. I came down the stage, and soon lost my consciousness.

Where I woke up was at the hospital. I was hospitalized for the mesentery inflammation of the lymphatic gland. It was due to the unbalanced eating, overworked schedule, and the gathered fatigues.

"Sung Hoon, are you okay?"

I began to see each member’s face, all ready to cry. I had never been to a hospital even when I was young, so I realized the preciousness of my health. I must have blocked all the bad lucks, because ‘Gi Sa Do’ received our fans’ love and Jekki, for the first time, got to be #1 on a program.

"I've only known one woman, I've only trusted one woman, I've loved you only.

But because I had nothing to give but love, you left me.

Maybe it was for better. You can forget about me, so please be happy.

I buried you in my heart for leaving me like that."

(from Gi Sa Do)

My costume for ‘Gi Sa Do’ was the shiny trenchcoat and the jacket made out of artificial leather. With the metal accessories, I got to express the image of a ‘knight guarding justice.’ I especially liked my peacock hair. We were popular for the most individualistic clothing and hairstyles for this song.

On top of that, it was a good dance song under a deep house genre with a catchy melody line. I couldn’t express my happiness when we received #1 spot with this song. It was the moment I accomplished my dream of being #1 I wanted so much after I became a singer.

After our debut, there was another time I had to go through pain, as much as I went through when I was ill. The reaction for our 2nd album was way too good, so when we released our 3rd album, we had to be nervous as to whether the fans would love it or not. The 3rd album contained songs that were more musically mature and also displayed high-leveled choreography.

But the time period of our 2nd album performance was long, and when we were on a break, we spent our days busy doing musical and shooting a movie. Even though we were trying our best as we recorded each song, we couldn’t help but to feel insecure.

As it turned out, the reaction was rather cold. Our title song, ‘Mu Mo Han Sa Rang,’ didn’t receive the overall attention of our fans. But soon after, we rose back with ‘Couple.’ And we received the co-award with HOT in the end of the year.

I will never forget the songs ‘Gi Sa Do,’ the one we got #1 with for the first time, and ‘Couple,’ which showed our stability.

 

 

Chapter 8: Heartbreaking Performance

In December of 1997 at the Se Jong Cultural Center, there were many fans that crowded around to see our first concert. I was in the makeup hall, having to soothe my nervous heart as I heard the fans’ cheering.

"Let’s try our best!"

When Ji Wonie hyung and I met in the eyes, he patted my shoulder and said this. That one phrase of his became my strength. We all encouraged one another with our eyes and got on the stage. The burden of having to try our best for the fans from the start to the end rushed in.

But the next moment, I could feel the infinite love of countless fans that came from all over the place to see us. As the time went on, I fell in love with what the concert had to offer. My body gained more strength, and I could clearly see the audience cheering.

When we sang the acapella, I was almost ready to cry. Like that, the first concert remains in my mind as an unforgettable memory. What I felt by having the concert was that I really have to be healthy in order to perform well. For a live performance, I decided to work out regularly and open up my lungs and also be careful with my neck.

But there was another concert that was as meaningful as the first concert to me. It was when we appeared in the program from KBS called "Love’s Request." My heart ached when I saw the angelic children suffering from incurable diseases. I couldn’t even hold them because they were so small. I was also afraid because if I were to embrace them, I, being a weak-hearted person, would cry in front of the camera. So I just stood behind the camera and just observed them playing. It was a heartbreaking performance because of the thought that there were not many ways to help them besides singing.

 

 

Chapter 9: Movie, Musical, Everything OK!

In 1998, we starred in the movie "Seventeen." It was a big issue because we received 3 hundred billion won as a guarantee, which was the highest ever in the history of the movies. But personally, I was a bit hesitant in shooting the movie. Singing itself took up a lot of time, so I was unsure of the idea of trying out in a new area. And what if the movie fails? When I thought about that, I became really nervous.

But it was of my nature to try my best since we all agreed to do it already. On top of that, my role in the movie was really heavy. It was obvious that whether I try my best or not would affect Jekki’s image.

"Ready~ Action!!"

In April, 1998, the historical first shooting began in front of Oh Sahn High School in Bo Gwang Dong, Seoul. When our minivan and the staffs’ shooting bus arrived, there were girl fans that somehow found out, who crowded in front of the school on their way home.

"Would I do well?"

When the movie set became all noisy, I was afraid whether I could get into my character and act well. The first scene was me and my partner, Kim Ji Hye, entering the school together. I had the role of an exemplary class president. It was a scene with not even one line, but whenever I entered the school friendly with Kim Ji Hye, fans booed and screamed, there were many NGs.

I repeated "I’m sorry," but the director, Mr. Chung Byung Gahk, didn’t seem to care at all.

"Jekki is very popular.. I always already predicting this," he said this and just heartily laughed.

Anyway, our first shooting was finished and I was surprised at myself for being able to act in front of a camera without being very nervous. Even the director complimented me, saying that I was talented in acting.

One of the reasons I wasn’t nervous and could do well was due to the fact that I could work well with the director. Later, I even got to the level where I could ‘enjoy’ filming.

"Now that we are watching the premiere of our movie, it looks a bit awkward but we feel pride in it. We hope that the teenagers’ troubles and loss of direction get delivered well. Just remember that we really tried our best."

On the day of our premiere, we encouraged each other for the fact that we tried our best, apart from the success or failure of the movie. But when we went to the Dae Han Theater on July 17th, the opening day, we couldn’t help but to be surprised. ‘Did all the Jekki fans in Korea come?’ We even thought that, that was how crowded the theater was with middle and high school students.

The movie I worried so much about, "Seventeen," was released in video as well and received the continuous love from our loves.

What we did as a sidetrack besides shooting the movie was a musical. We were encouraged by the success of the movie, but we also wanted to challenge the genre of musical, which had the combination of both singing and dancing.

The role I had in "Alibaba and the 40 Thieves" was Alibaba. I practiced so much, to a point where my throat was all swollen and sore, so I couldn’t practice anymore. I even remember crying because I was singing all day and so exhausted.

Hard practice must’ve paid off, because the reaction of the audience was very good. It was sold out everyday and it was also a good opportunity to show that Jekki always tried their best.

 

 

Chapter 10: Unlaughable Fan Letter

I realize that it is due to the fans that Jekki exists now. But sometimes, I receive scars in my heart from the fans. I have a nickname ‘Smiley’ because I’m always smiling. However, once I get to be known, I am really weak hearted and easy to cry.

There once was an event that made me unable to decide whether to laugh or cry.

Of countless fan letters I was receiving, I began to pay particular attention to one of them. The letters from this one girl who was suffering from the bone marrow cancer always made my heart ache. It even got to a point where I checked for her letters daily from my mom, every time I came home from the TV performance.

"I can forget all about my pain when I hear your singing. Only your songs give me hope in my life."

That girl described in detail about her ailment and her financial problems at home in her letters. Even with my busy schedule, I always read her letter and my hope to help her became earnest.

So at the concert, we even sang a song for her. Eventually, I began to search for that girl. But she only wrote that her address was Seo Dae Moon, so I couldn’t find her so easily. Then one day, on the outside of the envelope, the hospital she was at was written.

So I asked the hospital for the cooperation, but the staff told me that there was no such girl in the cancer department. I was thinking, ‘No way,’ and I looked for her one more time. Then I found out that she wasn’t a patient under a cancer treatment but rather, someone who was hospitalized in the mental institution.

At first, I was so flabbergasted. I felt really upset because even though she was a fan, I felt very deceived. But as I thought about it carefully, she did have an illness after all, a mental illness! The thought that my songs were of help to her made me happy.

For loving my inadequate self, I thank my fans for that fact alone. Sometimes I get hurt like this but it all happens because I am liked, no?

 

 

Chapter 11: The Prettiest Girlfriend In School

First love… aren’t those the words that would make anyone’s heart tremble? Because of my outgoing personality, I got along well with girl friends as well since I was little.

But one friend I met in the 2nd year of middle school gave me a whole different feeling than my other girl friends before. I met her coincidentally in school but I didn’t even have guts to talk to her and only watched her from afar. Now that I think about it, this must’ve been the first time I started falling for the opposite gender.

"Dude, you have high standards, isn’t she the prettiest girl in our school?"

(Picture insertion of Sung Hoon and his sister Yoon Ji riding a bike: Whenever I went out when I was little, I always took my little sister Yoon Ji along. I especially enjoyed bikeriding with her.)

Truthfully, I was pretty ‘popular’ in school at the time but I didn’t know that the girl I had in my heart was also the most popular person in our school. Basically, I was competing against everyone from the school.

When I was only suffering from this crush, we met on a coincidental occasion. On contrary to the way she looked prude from a distance, she actually had a very bright personality.

The spontaneous meeting continued from the beginning. Like the other kids, we met together to study and went out to eat ice cream and had serious talks about each other’s future. After about 3 years of sharing our friendship, the time to part came, because I was going to Hawaii to study abroad. And she also had to leave to Singapore for the same purpose.

"Could we meet again?"

"Let’s study hard and after 1 year, let’s meet in New York."

And the summer after a year, we met again in New York. I was very content to see her the same way she used to be before- innocent. But afterwards, I never saw her again. According to the rumor, she is not in Seoul yet. I wonder if she even knows that I became a singer and heard my music yet.

After that, I didn’t have a girlfriend. Even in Hawaii where people treat the ones without girlfriends stupid, I didn’t have one. What was the reason? Sometimes I think about it deeply, but besides the fact that I didn’t meet anyone as likeable as her, I didn’t want to just go out with anyone to fill up time.

On top of that, I became a member of Jekki so I didn’t have any room to have a girlfriend. With 2, 3 hours of sleep a day and the busy schedule, there was no mental and timely room to me for a girlfriend to come in.

But it is obvious that I am a regular 20 year-old that wishes to receive a Christmas or a birthday present from a nice and a pretty girlfriend. If I get a girlfriend? I wish to have one who can understand the special situation I’m in right now. Even if I can’t talk to her on the phone for a long time, even if I don’t keep up my promise when some unexpected schedule pops up, I want to have someone who can understand me. I even dream that it could be someone who is thoughtful, the one who can scold me until I feel really bad.

If it’s someone like that, wouldn’t she be able to comfort me with warm consoling words when I’m tired from working?

 

 

Chapter 12: Blessed With Friendly People

"You have many good people around you."

My mother always says this to me. It is because wherever I went since I was little, I always caught people’s attention. My mom has almost the same personality as me- she is friendly and likes people, so I think I resemble her and like to be in the crowd.

"I’m home from school!"

As I said this and stepped into the house, I always brought along 4-5 friends with me. They even cleaned out my fridge and slept over, it was quite common. My mother, who liked children, cared for them as much as I liked them.

During elementary, I was always a moodmaker and was popular among friends because I had a bright personality. I was always surrounded by group of friends in school.

Among them, Ji Yong, the present member of Jekki, was my best friend since those days. I remember making a group with my friends for some talent show at a school picnic and singing Taiji Boys "I know." Ji Yong was one of the members.

I guess we were practicing to be in Jekki since then. I recognized Ji Yong’s potential (?) back in those days and recommended him as a Jekki member to our producer.

But we weren’t just kids who only liked to play. Ji Yong and I did well in our studies too so we never lost 1st place in class. We were nominated for the vice president in 5th grade and I became one. And in 6th grade, we were both nominated for the president and Ji Yong won. We were supposedly competing for the same spot but that never affected our friendship. I think our friendship rather got stronger in the midst of our friendly competition.

Ji Yong had always been a confident and carefree person. But I felt distressed over him once. That was when he first came into Jekki. He was the latest to be in the group so it was harder for him to learn the choreography or the songs, and it seemed difficult for him to get along with the members because they were all individualistic. So I told the other members many good stories about Ji Yong and I also tried to tell Ji Yong about dancing and singing.

And another one of my precious friends is Kwang Joong from middle school. Kwang Joong has a total different personality and outer appearance from mine. Compared to me, who look feminine and have a small body, he looks really manly and is built. So whenever I was about to get beat up by gangster-like people, he always stood up for me and defended me.

What about the personality. I am outgoing and always smiling, but he is quiet and always expressionless. But he has a warmer heart than anybody else does.

"Sung Hoon, how about I become a manager?"

"Really? Truthfully, from what I see, being a manager is not an easy occupation but…. Do you think you could do it?"

Kwang Joong was punctual and had the ability to think quickly on his feet, so when he said he wanted to take the path of being a manager, I thought he would do well. But when I first thought of my friend suffering with me, I wanted to stop him. However, he began living in my house and stepped out to the real world as a road manager. It is all thanks to him that he makes me exercise when I get lazy, and looks after my meals when I skip them.

Sometimes I think about it deeply, and no matter how much I think, I am a very lucky guy--- Because I can always be with my precious friends.

 

 

Chapter 13: Should I Be a Producer or a Businessman?

"Sung Hoon, what’s your future dream?"

"I will become a singer."

In my childhood days, when other kids’ future goals were doctors or athletes, mine was to be a singer. And luckily, I got to achieve that dream even before I turned 20 years old. It was a so-called superstar that received a lot of love from the fans.

‘I can do anything!’

My entire body can feel such confidence. Would people know such feeling?

Achieving a dream is really a cool thing to do. But I also know the fact that I shouldn’t become arrogant or forget about the future because I’m absorbed by the fact that I accomplished my goals now.

"You can’t be in a dance group forever, wouldn’t you be short-lived?"

This is one of the questions reporters hesitantly ask me. Whenever I am asked that question, I always answer "If I lead a good life as I do now, I will like my image in the future as well."

Yes. I don’t have any grand plans for my future yet. But I have many things I want to do, and I also have the confidence to do something with all my will. And I am only 20 years old now but I dream of my future 20 years later.

(Picture insertion here: With my classmates on a school excursion. I wonder how they’re all doing….)

After I became a singer, I got more into music, so I imagine myself being a music producer in 20 years. Wouldn’t it be rewarding to manufacture good albums with people who are young just like when I debuted, but the ones who have deep passion for music?

However, I know that music becomes more difficult as I go on to learn it- that thought is always in my mind. I will have to try very hard. In my head, I also have another vision of my future. Just like my father who has a business in Hawaii, in 20 years, I will be a businessman. I giggle to myself as I think of my life, living in a happy family, with a wife as pretty as my mother and my children.

I have a lot of absurd ideas so I even have a plan to build a "Building of Dreams." It is a kind of a multi-building where everything can be done in one place.

My business plans are all done in my head, but I have one thing to worry about. I must be thrifty and frugal when it comes to money, but I can’t be like that. I’ve been raised to like sharing and I didn’t know how precious money was. Plus, my mother thinks, "If you’re a man, you have to be able to spend money too," so I have not seen a person too often paying the bills before me. Anyway, I think whatever I become 20 years later wouldn’t be too different from Kang Sung Hoon I am now. Eventually, my future is something achievable only if I try my best now.

I want to live my life to the fullest at the present moment. And afterwards, I want to become an adult who knows how to accept life that’s given to me humbly.

 

 

Chapter 14: Mother Jung Ye Geum Speaks of her Son Sung Hoon

I feel very proud and sad at the same time when I watch Sung Hoon aspiring to be a good singer, when he is at an age to whine to his parents. My heart especially aches when he comes home exhausted. I wish that he would just be an ordinary kid like others that study.

But Sung Hoon had potentials to be an entertainer since he was little. Even when he got dressed, he was a dandy little boy that was able to coordinate his own clothes. I wondered where he learned it, he was also a very good singer. And he had very many friends and he was notorious for being a mischievous boy.

I’m blushing a little since I sound like I’m bragging about my son, but Sung Hoon had leadership ever since he was little. He was always a leader among his peers when they were playing. And in comparison to the other kids, he was mature and had a strong pride. He admitted right away what he did wrong but if he was embarrassed in front of a crowd or his ego had been crushed, he lost sleep for days and stayed angry.

I raised him with restrictions. I forgave him 3 times for the same mistake and spanked him the 4th time. He must’ve been upset, but he never defied it and admitted his faults, thus showing a manly side of him.

One day, I received an unexpected international call from Sung Hoon who was studying abroad in America at an early age.

"I want to be a singer."

I was very stifled by this sudden call. I would’ve been insecure even if he was in Korea, but since he was telling this to me from America, I began to worry first.

But since I had always trusted my son, I couldn’t just oppose him. I first began to investigate the production that proposed Sung Hoon about being a singer. Unlike what I had worried, DSP was known to be a good production. And what changed my mind at last was the meeting with Mr. Lee Ho Yeon who had a kind impression.

"Don’t worry. Sung Hoon is very talented. I want to raise him to be a good singer."

I stopped worrying but to be truthful, I was still confused until I saw his first TV performance.

‘He has to study, what if he fails?’

‘Does Sung Hoon really even have a talent? Was I right for allowing him to do this?’

But when I went to the TV station with the other members’ parents in order to see his first performance, I realized that my decision was right. Sung Hoon looked very natural from the way he performed on the stage.

After Sung Hoon became a singer, my time to see my son reduced significantly. Instead, countless fans that come to visit Sung Hoon are crowded in front of the house. As someone raising a daughter, I can’t help but to feel sorry for those girls who stay overnight in front of the house. At first, I gave them bus fares and drinks and talked to them. But as the fans increased, this was a difficult task to continue.

There was this incident once. Some girl claiming to be Jekki’s fan called our house in a desperate manner.

"Our friend hurt her leg and got a treatment from a hospital but we only have 10,000 won, please help us."

Beside the fact that they were my son’s fans, I wondered how worried they would’ve been, so I called the taxi and paid for the hospital bills and took each one of them home. They didn’t forget to call me back to thank me politely a few days later.

Sung Hoon’s practicing diligently day and night in order to prepare for the 4th album. He can’t even have a hearty meal with his family members and his face looks weak from the lack of sleep. It is something he does with passion, but I wish he would look after himself too. And there is nothing more I wish than for Sung Hoon to stay exactly the way he is now; modest, polite, and someone whose words and actions match.

[lovelovelove681]

Suwon Autobio

 

I was always quiet and inactive, but after I became a singer, I earned the confidence in living my life. I realized that I could achieve anything I wanted ‘as long as I tried.’ It also proved to my parents that I was a kid who could ‘do anything I aspired to do.’ My fans and my parents were always there, no matter what I did. Without them, would I even have existed?

When I think about the cheering of the fans, I always get strength. It’s like I have a great support system. I recollected the bygone times of my life, as a little payback to them.

Jang Su Won

 

 

 

Chapter 1 - A Popular Village Boy

Chapter 2 - Even When I Dye My Hair and Pierce My Ears...

Chapter 3 - In The Midst of Playing Kids

Chapter 4 - Yearning for my School Days

Chapter 5 - The Audition I took with my Friends

Chapter 6 - We Are Eagle 6

Chapter 7 - As a Group that Stands Out

Chapter 8 - Falling in Love with the Charm of the Concerts

Chapter 9 - Telepathic Fans

Chapter 10 - The World Outside of the Stage

Chapter 11 - Teenage Entertainers are Arrogant?

Chapter 12 - To be a True Musician

Chapter 13 - Mother Han Young Rim Speaks of her Son Su Won

 

 

 

Chapter 1: A Popular Village Boy

"How come this boy looks so pretty?"

"He looks like a girl, the way his skin is so smooth."

When I look at myself in the pictures that were taken when I was little, I do look like a girl, how my skin was so white and my nose so sharp. When my mother wasn’t around, the neighbors all adored me and played with me… is what I hear.

Anyway, I, who had been loved by people all around me, was born on July 16th, 1980 in Boo Chun, between my father Jang Hye Sun and my mother Han Young Lim. I was the 2nd child of the two boys.

"A welcoming guest must be coming."

One day when it was raining so much that nothing could be seen, my mother went in her labor. But when I was actually born, the rain stopped and the sun came out, so all the adults wondered.

When I was little, our house wasn’t too rich but we were happy. Boo Chun back in those days wasn’t so industrialized as it is now. We lived in a place like a rural house. Due to that environment, I spent my childhood days experiencing the wonders of the nature by hanging out with my dad who worked at Korean Airline at the time, and my brother who was 2 years older. We went around catching frogs and dragonflies. We went on the back hill and listened to the chirps of cicadas, and lied on the grass and looked at the sky and dreamed of things. When I look back on those days, I think that the countryboy (me) has come a long way.

In front of my house was a village hall and that place also was my playground. My brother and I practically lived there. I especially remember learning to sing and dance at the preschool in that village hall. Was my intuition being developed there? I not only liked singing and dancing but I was also among the ones who were good at it.

Memories regarding my grandmother who loved me very much take up a significant part of my childhood. My grandmother took care of me because my mother owned a restaurant. It makes me happy that my grandmother is still healthy.

"When I took Su Won out on my back, I couldn’t even take a step because all the villagers adored him so much."

My grandmother still says this and pats my butt. I must still look like a preschooler in her eyes. But when my mother opened a restaurant in Seoul, our family had to leave Boo Chun. My life in Seoul began as I left my friends and the house I was so fond of. That was also the beginning of my elementary days.

I am rather quiet now, but I was a mischievous little boy. There even was an incident when I was playing in someone else’s garage and burned the whole place. I wasn’t very active but I do remember dancing in front of a crowd when there were class vs. class talent shows. As all my peers did, I sung the popular song back then, "Nahn Ahl Ah Yo" by Taiji Boys, rather than nursery rhymes.

I had too many dreams when I was young so when I woke up from my sleep, my future goals always changed. When I saw a soldier, I thought of becoming a soldier and when I watched a soccer game, I thought of being a soccer player.

When we came to Seoul, my father quit his job in order to help my mother who was taking care of the restaurant alone.

 

 

Chapter 2: Even When I Dye My Hair and Pierce My Ears…

Must be because I was adored as the last child…

I think my mother believes that whatever I do, I do it well and take care of things myself.

In 9th grade, I was attached to hanging out with my friends. One day, I followed what my friend did and came home, with my ear pierced.

I was pretty cautious about it as I was eating dinner, for I was afraid Mom will find out. But for some reason, she didn’t seem to know. So, the next day, I pierced my other ear for the heck of it. The day after, she seemed to be looking at my ear, but she still didn’t say anything. Until then, I really thought she didn’t know. The next day, I just went ahead and pierced another hole.

"Su Won, did you pierce as much as you want now?"

I then realized that she was pretending to not know even when she knew.

Even when I first dyed my hair and came home, she didn’t hit me or scold me. She just told me, "Do whatever you want," "I trust you."

I suppose other kids try to defy their parents when they get scolded for doing things like that, but I was the opposite case. It was no longer fun once I did it because my parents’ reaction was so calm. I always came back to my original place after I did it once out of curiosity.

I resemble my father very much, and I like him a lot. I can hold man-to-man conversations with him among our family members, we connect that way. He is always kind-hearted and I can tell that he always tries to grant my wishes. On top of that, I even got the liking for dancing and singing from him!

Once, my grandfather’s sister came and said, "Su Won, the way you like to sing all came from your dad. He liked to play guitar and sing when he was in school." I couldn’t believe my father had that side in him since he was always so quiet.

In contrary to my father who likes to do everything we want, my mother is known to be ‘stingy’ in the family. Thanks to her frugality, our house is pretty well off now.

A while ago when we were recording the 4th album, I always came home way early in the morning. Mother always waited for me to come and gave me things to eat. I feel apologetic in my heart but since I don’t speak much, I never express my feelings- I wonder if she resented me for that.

Not just my mother… after I became a singer, I sometimes complain and lash out at my family whether I am aware of it or not. Basically, I take out my stress at home. That isn’t really cool, so I like to take this opportunity to thank my family members for accepting my whines.

 

 

Chapter 3: In the Midst of Playing Kids

I was pretty popular among my peers in Jahm Won Elementary. I wasn’t the type to be a leader but since I was out going, I hung out with my friends a lot. My grades were good but I also showed potential in sports. Tae Kwon Do, soccer, basketball, baseball- I liked all kinds of sports. My parents were inherently proud of me for being like this. I was not the kind to worry my parents at that time but…

"Hello, this is Su Won’s friend, may I speak to Su Won?"

"This is he, who is this?"

After I enrolled in Shin Bahn Po Middle School, I kept on getting phone calls from the girls I didn’t know. I must’ve been complacent about that fact, because my grades started dropping since then.

Then, in 9th grade, I hung out with so-called ‘troublemakers’ in school. Once in a while, I attended their birthday parties or meetings but the feelings I received from them were strong for some reason. They were always in groups, doing whatever things they wanted to do. No one could mess with them in school and they were not afraid of anything.

Even when they threw a birthday party, they went all out and sang on the streets. At first, I developed curiosity just from hanging out with them. And they must’ve liked me too, because they included me in their little meetings from time to time. What I discovered from hanging out with them was that without stereotype, I could find good qualities about them.

But it was difficult to receive good grades from hanging out with such friends. The grades dropped so low, to a point where I had to worry about high school entrance. From then on, I limited myself from playing with them. I couldn’t give up on studying entirely. I drifted farther away from them as I became a singer.

There are two friends I got closer to, even when I started singing. They are Yang Kyu Myung and Kang Tae Sung.

"You’re a singer, so what."

They think it is no big deal that I am a singer, they don’t treat me any differently. They don’t envy me or become jealous of me either. Kyu Myung attends Kyung Hee Univ. majoring in P.E., he is a pro golfer. We became friends when we joined the same reading class in 10th grade.

"How unlikely that you are in this reading class!"

We always teased each other like that. Now, instead of reading, we work out together. I was too skinny so I started working out. Doing it with Kyu Myung must have motivated me even more. I feel this ‘rivalry’ towards him these days so I am concentrating on building my cool muscles. Su Won’s muscles, coming soon!

Tae Sung has been a close friend of mine since elementary. He keeps good grades in school. He is preparing for the college entrance just like me now. He is intelligent and diligent so I don’t worry about him, but I wish we could both go to a school we want. I wish to share unchangeable friendships throughout my life with these two precious friends.

 

 

Chapter 4: Yearning for My School Days

When I reminisce about my teachers, I cannot leave out the one from my 7th grade year. He made us write a journal every single day and when the school was over, he did a checkup. I could only go home if I passed the checkup, it was such a suffocating experience!

I like freedom. If something tries to restrict me, I develop defiance in my mind first. At the time, that impression was stronger. I was strongly opposed to the teacher’s attitude that always tried to reign the teenage boys who were defiant, with violence.

Then one day in 9th grade, my friends got caught smoking. And I, who happened to be with them at that time, got called in as well. The teacher made us write the statement of self-reflection. He misunderstood that since I was with them, I smoked as well. But I wrote all 10~20 pages, "I didn’t smoke, I didn’t smoke." I suppose he didn’t like that and thought of me as a liar. I was suspended for that incident during the break.

But I was so indignant. Since I seemed so quiet on the outside, I think he was a bit surprised by how I was so strong with my opinions. Yes. I hear many times that I look quiet, but if there is something I want to do or if I have to step up in some situation, I become active. I usually express my thoughts strongly.

I don’t just have the bad memories of my teachers. I have many teachers who remain as the thankful ones in my memory. For example, in 10th grade, my homeroom teacher always gave me a pass when I had to go and do things for Jekki. And he didn’t forget to tell me "Always try your best." He helped me in many other ways.

In 11th grade, my homeroom teacher asked the principal to enable me to do the singing activities legally. At that time, there weren’t too many idol stars so there was a trend of looking at us with prejudice when we told them we were singing. I become earnest when I think of my two teachers who were very considerate. But the school I attended, Se Hwa H.S., had very strict rules. With the teachers’ help only, it was impossible to be a singer. It was impossible for them to give me any special benefits when I wasn’t even famous yet.

With no choice, I transferred to KFS (Korean Foreign School), the school that didn’t put any restriction on the entertainers. But this time, it was harder for me to catch up in my classes. Lectures were done by foreign teachers and even the test questions were written in English, so it was inherent that I couldn’t catch up.

I am saddened by the reality of me having to transfer and the fact that I couldn’t enjoy high school life due to my singing activities. I didn’t make that many friends either and I couldn’t concentrate on my studies. When I think of my high school years, I realize the statement, ‘No pain, no gain.’

However, I receive comfort from the fact that I got to meet my precious Jekki members and the fans. Since I know that the pain of losing is big, yet the happiness of gaining is great as well, I feel a lot better now.

[Picture insertion- Sleigh riding! I begged my mom to take me here on a really cold day]

 

 

Chapter 5: The Audition I Took with My Friends

"I want to go to a school of arts."

"….."

It was right before my middle school graduation. Since I was rather introverted in both my house and school, my parents were speechless at my sudden declaration and only stared at my face blankly. And because they knew that I always had to do what I wanted, they gave me their permission with ease.

Truthfully, I dreamed of being a singer since my middle school days. I confirmed my underlying potentials as I was singing and dancing along to the songs I liked back then, by Deux and Taiji Boys. But since I was so passive, I didn’t say it to anyone. I just told myself silently, ‘I want to be a singer, I will be a singer.’

I prepared the best I could, in hopes to go to Kye Won School of Arts. But time wise, it was impossible for me in comparison to other kids who prepared since they were in elementary. I failed the test, probably because I decided on going too late. I failed my high school entrance exam but by that time, I was already determined to ‘be a singer’ rather than ‘to study hard.’

Now that I think about it, I really wonder how I made that decision, because I am so quiet and timid. Was it a breezing trend like my peers who were obsessed with dancing and singing?

At that time, there was a huge backdancer boom amongst my high school friends. Since I really liked dancing, I danced with them. But I didn’t dare to think I could be a ‘backdancer or a singer.’ I just liked dancing, and I liked to watch dancing. It was fun enough just seeing it.

Then one of the middle school kid junior to us gave us a piece of information. He asked us if we wanted to try out at an audition at some production. We didn’t have any skills to present, because we were only dancing and singing for fun. But we felt like having fun, so we just said ‘what the heck!’ and participated in the audition. But when we actually arrived at the audition, there were a few hundred, I mean, a few thousand kids waiting for their turn! Compared to me and my friends who came for the fun of it, they all looked serious. On top of that, their dancing and singing skills were very high. My mouth dropped open at their level that I couldn’t even compare to mine.

It was an audition I came to anyway, so even though I wasn’t perfect at it, I sang the song I liked back then, "Ee Bahm Eui Ggeut Eul Jab Go" by Solid. But I received a call from the manager unexpectedly the next day. He told me to come to the 2nd audition. Only 2 out of 5 of us who went there together got a call. I could only doubt my ears. I got rid of all those competitors from that audition? It was unbelievable.

But the friend who got a call with me couldn’t attend the 2nd audition. I became hesitant at that moment. It was really hard for me to decide because I didn’t try out with a determination to become a singer, and I didn’t have the confidence with my skills either.

‘It’s better not to go than to be embarrassed.’

My mind was filled with this thought.

Did they guess how I felt? A while after the audition time, the production called me, asking me why I wasn’t coming. At that moment, I didn’t have time to think anything, I just caught a taxi and hurriedly went to the production.

I met the production manager for the first time. The kind impression he carried, unlike a production manager would normally have, eased my nervousness.

"Sing something."

"Honestly, I really can’t."

"How about the dance?"

"I can’t dance well either."

"Really? But you are willing to practice hard, right?"

I was not apt in lying or bs’ing, so I told him honestly. I didn’t even dream about being a member of Jekki. When I took the audition, I felt a bit empty. ‘I shouldn’t have come.’ I thought that and just dragged my feet and went down the stairs, but Ki Youngie hyung (our manager now) stopped me.

"Come starting tomorrow and practice."

I couldn’t believe it. I suppose they were impressed by how I was trying hard. Even when I think about it now, I think it was my fate to become the member of Jekki. The situation could only be explained like that.

 

 

Chapter 6: We are Eagle 6

A polished fashion and a hairstyle unlike a high school student. Even from the start, Sung Hoon looked like an entertainer. With his soft and bright face, it gave out a good impression. Ji Wonie hyung is someone I saw at the office, and unlike Sung Hoon, he had a strong impression and I could feel some kind of charisma within him.

I met Jae Dukkie hyung at the dance practice hall. He had a short hair and a cute image. Jae Jinnie hyung’s dance I saw at Lee Juno’s office was just fantastic. At last, I saw Ji Yong and he had a sporty hairdo back then. In some ways, he looked like an exemplary student and in other ways, he just looked cute.

They were all so handsome and most of all, they gave me a good first impression. Their singing and dancing were really high leveled. I gained confidence from thinking that, "If I’m with them, no one can treat us wrong." So what if I lack in skills, I have such a great background! But I never fell behind in my practices. I practiced even harder to improve the areas where I wasn’t very confident of.

After our team was established, we had practice after practice. We were scolded many times by Ki Young (our manager). If we didn’t do either dance or sing right, he yelled at us and just discouraged us. But no one really complained. We only thought of ‘doing well.’ In order to do that, we were ready to accept any criticisms.

Since 6 people with different personalities were gathered together, it was hard to open up at first. I mean, we were 6 totally different people put into a same team!

Now, it has been 3 years since we got together and we are like brothers. It even feels weird if we don’t see each other for one day.

"Jae Dukkie hyung, what are you up to?"

"Ji Yong, let’s play."

"Hey, aren’t you tired of seeing us everyday?"

But they don’t seem to dislike it when I call them out. Rather, when one member gets out, sooner or later, the rest of us all get together. On top of that, we like to play around and pull tricks. Then when something serious happens, we care about each other.

We went through thick and thin so now we all know what each other thinks in their mind. If someone gets his feelings hurt, we all ache together. Now we can’t break up even if we want to, we are like brothers. Eagle 5, no, Eagle 6!!

(Picture insertion: With the managers who always take care of us)

 

 

Chapter 7: As a Group that Stands Out

"I did everything I can. It looks like the only thing left is for you guys to get up there and try your best."

A week before our first TV appearance, Mr. Lee gathered us together and told us. I cannot forget what he said to us in such a grave atmosphere.

‘Yes, we just have to show what we practiced so far.’ I declared to myself.

I don’t think I will ever forget our first stage show on KMTV. We went to the makeup hall for the first time, but I got the impression that it was a bit shabby than I thought. But that wasn’t my primary concern.

As I was waiting for our turn in the makeup hall, I began to get anxious. I worried whether or not we would do well and my legs started to shake.

"The next up is Sechs Kies, 6 Crystals!"

Even before the MC finished announcing us, we jumped out to the stage. It was our first show but many fans yelled our name. That was unexpected. We exchanged nervous glances and gained courage and went on the stage.

(Picture insertion: Quiet yet mischievous little boy Jang Su Won)

"Like the phone that doesn't ring, I'm living this world without any expressions. When the school bell rings ‘ding’ our war begins again. Everyone's friend is everyone's enemy, everyone struggles to trample down on each other……" [From Hak Won Byul Gok]

I don’t even recall what thoughts we carried when we were performing. But everyone commented with hopeful words after we got off the stage, all sweaty.

"This group really stands out, it has a good premonition."

"Something different, a newcomer with potential."

The executive producer said this. I was finally relieved after hearing this, and I could see everyone in front of me clearly. I felt my heart bursting with hope.

Our 1st album title song, ‘Hak Won Byul Gok,’ entered the top 10 in a popular chart program. Our next title song ‘Pom Saeng Pom Sa’ made a lyrical trend, ‘Live in form, die in form,’ and brought a big sensation to the music world. I then forgot all about all the times we suffered before the debut and the worries we had.

And a few days ago, many fans came to my house on my birthday and threw me a birthday party. All these good and happy memories breeze through my head like a panorama.

 

 

Chapter 8: Falling in Love with the Charm of the Concerts

I cannot forget our 2nd concert we held at the Gymnasium in 1998, after our first concert at Se Jong Cultural Center in 1997. The members and I fell in love with what the concert had to offer the first time, so we were eagerly anticipating for our 2nd concert as well.

For the concert, we prepared everything near perfection. We had to practice after practice, it was difficult. But when we saw some 8,000 people who came just to see our performance, I had forgotten all about the arduous times.

We approached our fans who were yelling "Jekki, Jekki----!" with nervousness.

The Gymnasium had a versatile stage where it could transform its shape the way we wanted. The special effects and the lighting were so great in comparison to our first concert at Se Jong Cultural Center. Since the stage was bigger, we knew that any mistake was not acceptable, so we were somewhat burdened by the fact that we had to show our fans the better performance.

Honestly, I was so nervous that I could not see anything in front of me until I sang about 3 songs. But after some time had passed, I could slowly see the members and the fans. From then on, I fell in love with the concert.

‘This is why the singers senior to us say they cannot forget their concerts.’

I personally like the concert stage where we could interact with the fans better, rather than the TV shows. The TV has so many restrictions, such as ‘No earrings’ or ‘No dying hair.’ It is the era of the multi-talented entertainers. If a singer were to just come out dressed like a governor, the audience would change their channel.

For this reason, rather than the TV that has strict rules, the concerts that can show more variety are considered better. And when we are on TV, we barely sing one song and have to come off the stage because of the time limit, but the concert allows us to arrange everything without having to consider time. We can set up the stage so it fits Jekki’s image more, and we can also feel the fans’ reactions right away, so everything is more dynamic.

But that doesn’t mean I only like the big stages. A few years ago, Jekki was a continuous guest in a program called "Teuk Jong TV Yeon Ye City" in MBC. The ‘Buhn Gae Concert’ was the surprise concert we held by going to the place we wanted.

The place we visited was in Dae Gu, where the handicapped children resided in. I was very saddened by the fact that those children who were supposed to be playing but couldn’t because of their handicaps. Not just me, but I remember all the members crying and trying our best for this concert. This was the very first experience of helping someone else after I became a singer, where I got to share the precious and the warm heart.

 

 

Chapter 9: Telepathic Fans < P>A while ago, I was so surprised when I woke up from my sleep. One fan was looking at me sleeping, through my window.

This happened once. One fan wanted to converse with me for a short time so I went out and talked to her, and in no time, one hour just passed. I told her, since I was going to be late for the TV, I had to leave. But she was asking me to talk to her more! I had no choice but to leave her behind, and later had to cope with the story that "Su Won became arrogant after becoming popular."

 

But even those fans are considered polite, compared to the ones who come to my house at 4am and kick the door and ring the bell and yell at me to come out. I’m even scared to go home on the weekends, when there are many fans waiting in front of my house. So when there is a special schedule the next day and we need to rest, I sleep somewhere else with the members. But there aren’t just aggressive fans like these. The majority of the fans watch our performances, and they give us strength with their kind words and letters of encouragement when we are exhausted.

 

To be truthful, I now know all the names and the faces of the fans that come to our performances all the time and watch us in the front. They probably don’t know that I know all of them.

 

I became attached to them. They are all like little siblings to me, even though I have never talked to them. But they all know well that I cannot treat them like m real siblings. There are too many of them, so I can’t just pretend to know some and not know the other. I believe they will understand my situation.

 

Unlike my face that looks younger than my actual age, I have many fans who are older than me. There are the ones who are 8 to 10 years older than me. I guess they consider me as their cute little brother.

 

I sometimes try to convince my members that some fans and I are telepathic. This happened a while ago. I was watching TV and thought I wanted a framed CD. Then from a fan, I received my favorite CD in a frame as a present. The fans know what I like better than myself.

 

I feel bad when I see 30-40 fans that spend the night in front of my house just to see my face. They waste so much time…. Just to see my face coming out of the house or getting in the car. I sometimes feel bad because I think they are wasting their time when they should be studying. I want my fans to remember the fact that they ‘liked Jekki’ when they were students, as good memories.

 

I know why we are on the stage. We are singing the songs that our fans want to sing, we are saying the words that they want to say. I know for sure that if it weren’t for the fans, we would not exist.

 

 

Chapter 10: The World Outside of the Stage

 

Taking a break!

 

Just the words are sweet enough. The emptiness I feel when I come home, dragging my exhausted body when I get off the stage.. would the fans know this feeling? But even this emptiness doesn’t last long, as I lie in my bed. The lights turn on again on the ceilings, and I fantasize about being on the stage. The stage is a very fantastic atmosphere for me.

 

That’s why what I am afraid of the most is my life as a singer ending. So when we go on a break after we are done with our performances, I never fall back on recharging myself. I practice singing and I monitor myself on the TV shows.

 

How meaningless my life would have been if it weren’t for music. My only hobby is going to a PC place once in a while and playing computer games once in a while. There hardly are any girls in the PC place so I can freely enjoy playing, though there are some boys that recognize us.

 

But going to a theater or an amusement park is almost like a reckless thing to do. Speaking of that, being an entertainer comes with many disadvantages in life, more than needed. Before I became one, I had fantasized about the entertainers. I thought they drove the best cars and ate at the most expensive restaurants. But after I became one, that was only an illusion.

 

I have to skip meals because I get tired after finishing the dance and the recording until the day ends. And we should be treated as the old (?) group now that we are out with the 4th album, but the people at the TV stations still treat us like children. And I become sensitive because I meet a lot of people, and I tune into every little detail that goes around me.

 

But there was a lot I learned after I became a singer. First, I became more polite. Once we step in the TV station, Jekki is the group busy bowing to people. So we sometimes hear that we are more polite than the other groups. And even though I am still young, I think I developed the ability to see through people. I would just accept what people say if it was before, but now, I try to find the hidden meanings in people’s speech. I realized that what I see isn’t always the truth.

 

I sometimes witness hypocritical people who are nice to the ones that give them good, but treat their managers harshly. I am not defending my group but we never treat our managers like that. Rather, we are very close to our managers, almost like the real siblings. Personal stuff, like going to the movies or shopping, we call them and hang out with them. Of course, the managers treat us like their younger brothers, not only as entertainers.

 

 

Chapter 11: Teenage Entertainers are Arrogant?

 

"Su Won? Su Won? Where are you?"

 

When people are taking pictures of us for magazines and such, sometimes I disappear and people search for me anxiously.

 

It’s because I am quiet and I never stand out. People who compliment me say that I haven’t changed since I became a star, and that I am always kind and modest.

 

But I know that this could be a minus factor in being an entertainer. ‘You have no individualism, you’re just there,’ ‘You’re too quiet’….etc… However, I don’t have special plans to change my image. Rather than someone that shines only in the beginning, I believe I am the one to blossom as I go on. I just want to improve my singing, dancing, and stage manner slowly.

 

"Young people nowadays are arrogant."

 

"They only think about themselves and they have no depth."

 

I see many adults who say that. They especially seem to think so when they see the teenage entertainers. They probably think we are too young to come out with our hair dyed in yellow and in weird clothes, when we are supposed to be studying, lip-syncing the songs that are not even worth singing. Really, I receive the cheering of the teenage fans but I sometimes feel the sharp glares of the adults out in the streets.

 

But what made the teenagers to be like that? I think it is the older generation. They always corner the teens into competition, so we need some kind of an outlet.

 

And the so-called ‘arrogance’ that they speak of, I can feel that they don’t like us to express our opinions so outwardly. But I wish they would understand how we could be so straightforward because we have not been washed away in this world and are still innocent.

 

Yet I do think that if there are teen entertainers, they should be somewhat different from the ordinary teens. Their little actions and words could affect their peers very much. I think it is the best to act humble and polite. ‘Because we’re still young….’ ‘Because we haven’t suffered yet…’ There are all just excuses.

 

Hence, I am still young but I always try to act polite.

 

 

Chapter 12: To be a True Musician

 

‘Once you step out of the entertainment industry, you become messed up.’

 

‘A star looks pathetic when he is ordinary.’

 

After I became a singer, I heard many of these things. These days in particular, I really think that I might turn out like this.

 

If I weren’t a singer, I might have just been an ordinary salary man, but now, I do not think I can settle down and live my life. It would be hard for me to even work for a company, but I also wonder if I will be able to survive in a systematic society.

 

Since I became a singer the hard way, I wish to stay as a musician. I started as a teenage group but I realize that I cannot remain an idol star.

 

But when I became a singer, I found out that the music industry was really broad. What makes a singer is not just a singer alone, but various of other people such as composers, lyricists, planners, producers, and recording engineers. So in order to survive as a musician rather than an idol star, I should probably study music diligently.

 

I think about queer things at times, so I seriously wonder if I really need college. I don’t like the theory that I have to go because everyone else does. If I were to go to college with that theory, it is obvious that I won’t enjoy it as much, with an excuse that I am too busy with singing activities.

 

My working in some company would never happen in life, so I really don’t think it is necessary for me to go to college. I sometimes see in dramas that parents oppose marriage because the main character has low educational status, but if I have to go to college for that reason, it’s all the more ‘no thank you.’

 

So what is my purpose of going? It’s because I yearn for the things I did not get to enjoy back in high school. The fact that I didn’t complete my studies in one school must have remained as a small scar in me. So when I go to college, I want to try my best I my studies and enjoy my campus life as well.

 

Fortunately, for the upcoming year 2000, I was admitted to Kyung Hee Univ. as a theatre major. It was an early admission and I really anticipate it because it looks like I will be able to experience many studies and others for an entertainer.

 

The class of 2000, Jang Su Won! I don’t know what would hinder me, but I really want to try my best to make my college life that will be without regrets.

 

When I think about my future, the subject of getting married dawns on me. In some magazine interview, I wrote that my ideal woman is a sexy type, but that was for fun. I just like a kind one. Since I am quiet, I also think I would like a cute and winsome type of woman.

 

How about getting married to that kind of girl when I am 27. I imagine myself being a father that thinks of my family first (just like my dad), living in a sweet home with my children. Living a happy life with the person I love, and also being acknowledged as a musician…

 

Am I being too greedy?

 

 

Chapter 13: Mother Han Young Rim Speaks of her Son Su Won

 

"Mom, I passed the audition."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

I couldn’t help but to doubt my ears when Su Won first told me that he was going to become a singer. What we knew of Su Won so far was that he was just a submissive and an ordinary son. I occasionally saw him dancing in his room but I did not think he was trying to be a singer at all.

 

Come to think of it, though he was an introvert, he still could draw people’s attention since he was little. Every neighbor loved him. I was too busy operating the restaurant so the other adults in the village raised him- he was that cute and mild.

 

And when he got into preschool, I remember singing and dancing well. He was so cute so my mother-in-law or husband did everything that he asked for.

 

Su Won was notorious for being mischievous. I did not see him for a whole day once he got out of the house in the morning, he was just always playing outside. He was small but had strength, so I am thankful that he never caught cold and just grew up as a strong person.

 

He looks quiet on the outside, but once he set his mind on something, both his father and I could not win over him. But he didn’t have a crooked personality, he just wanted to do whatever he aspired to do. That’s probably why people seem to like him better as the time goes on.

 

When Jekki released their 1st and 2nd albums, I told him,

 

"Su Won, you seem too quiet in the interviews, why don’t you try to stand out?"

 

"Mom, what’s the point of standing out in the interviews? I should try to stand out in singing or with my competence! And if there is a person that stands out, there also needs to be a quiet one.

 

He is not greedy- so he gets along with everyone.

 

What saddens me the most after he became a singer is about his health. He seems fine still, but his unbalanced eating habits and lack of sleep worry me.

 

And it worries me to watch his fans that wait in front of our house just to see Su Won.

 

"We came to see Su Won just once."

 

They wait for days just to see him, and it hurts me. I wonder how their parents would worry about them so much at home.

 

When he first told us that he wanted to be a singer, we worried a lot.

 

‘He’s still young, what if he fails.’

 

‘His studies will lack….’

 

But now, I feel better looking at Su Won’s bright face, for he does what he likes now. I just earnestly wish that he doesn’t get chased by his work and always have some room in his life.

 

 

 

 

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