KaniPi 2,626 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I have two questions, including a scenario one. Do you respond to passive aggressive behaviour, with something witty, to evidently show that you are unaffected, ignore it or confront them aggressively? What do you think is the best way to deal, with people like that. For example: - New person at work, doesn't know a particular software, but is steadily learning it, and they are doing the job efficiently enough. They focus on their tasks. - Permanent staff member (who has been there a bit longer) responds with a statement randomly seemingly directed to nobody, such as: "I wish I could pretend to not know anything. Then I could get easy work". - New person ignores the potential remark, as though its gone over their head, and continue working hard. They act normal and polite as towards them, as though they have said nothing like that. Do you believe this is a good response? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bom 2,161 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yes, shows they have the ability to rise above it. As for me, I'm pretty much the same but only because I hate confrontation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darling 1,107 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 at school, i just ignore it because really bitchy people don't deserve my wit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGT 5,352 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 1. it depends but most of the time imma be petty and respond with even more passive aggressive remarks 2. yea that's a pretty good response tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitchcraft 1,377 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 No, in most cases, i'm an aggressive person and i hate when people try to pull passive aggressive bullshit on me, it pushes my buttons, so i respond aggressively. Usually afterwards after you respond, they always try to act like they're calm and chill and did nothing wrong in front of other people, when they're the ones who actually provoked you in the first place, then tell you 'haha chill~ . Calm down why are you angry? *innocent stare*'. Infuriating. How can you not respond aggressively? I remember a fight (not physical) i had with this girl IRL simply because of this. And with many more people. But at work, with a collegue that i don't even know well, i'd do the same as you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noon 20,968 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 that was a good response. though i always respond to passive aggressive behavior directly, it catches them off their guard and if you are good enough puts them in a corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 1. it depends but most of the time imma be petty and respond with even more passive aggressive remarks 2. yea that's a pretty good response tho Doesn't it get worse though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dew 1,652 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah, I think that's a better alternative. I ignore it. I'm not one for confrontation and I'd rather not make enemies out of colleagues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darling 1,107 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I guess I might take it as a twisted compliment though. They are implying that you really know what you are doing, but you are only pretending to not know. I suppose it's rude, but yeah I would have just ignored it like you. And also, stay away from them if you can, but don't avoid them. Just only work work with them when you have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGT 5,352 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Doesn't it get worse though? yea it does, i don't recommend doing it at your work place ( i do it at school since i can still pass even with bad relations with classmates) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooahooah 573 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 yeah, just ignore. i always ignore them until they tell me what they rly want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tetris 613 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah I think ignoring is the right way to go around it. I always ignore them mainly because I'm wayyy too soft for witty comments and its usually not worth my time getting angry about. But I have a pretty low tolerance level soooooo if they choose to keep up with it I'll politely ask them to stop. Don't wanna go around making too many enemies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Messy Oppa 1,348 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 that was a good response. though i always respond to passive aggressive behavior directly, it catches them off their guard and if you are good enough puts them in a corner. This Overall, passive-aggressive people are insecure bitches, If you confront them with receipts, they will run away. But is work, so be carefull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HansWorth 2,223 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Well, I just chill about it, and ignore it, like "bish, stop wasting your time, I'm not going to listen" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baetics 888 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 I guess I might take it as a twisted compliment though. They are implying that you really know what you are doing, but you are only pretending to not know. I suppose it's rude, but yeah I would have just ignored it like you. And also, stay away from them if you can, but don't avoid them. Just only work work with them when you have to. Its not really about me, but its good advice anyway. Yeah, I agree. I think blatantly ignoring is a response, which many passive aggressive people actually enjoy, so it doesn't really work. I think there should be a balance, where you're just keeping them at arms length. I think remaining polite is absolutely key here. I mean, once you respond back angrily, or in a mean way, you just make enemies (even when you haven't done anything), and that never ends well for that lone person. If you're a newbie, then its even more important, if you want to survive in the workplace. People may not see this, but clearly there are particular individuals in the office (usually 2) that controls the general company politics and gossip. yea it does, i don't recommend doing it at your work place ( i do it at school since i can still pass even with bad relations with classmates) I think at school its fine, since you probably have friends, and well you're still going to be there no matter what, unlike work where it can ruin your career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukihime 1,072 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I either ignore it (most of the time) and then when I'm near my limit I answer back with a passive/agressive remark too, usually with a smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jujuwah 3,144 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 start the shading game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darling 1,107 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Its not really about me, but its good advice anyway. Yeah, I agree. I think blatantly ignoring is a response, which many passive aggressive people actually enjoy, so it doesn't really work. I think there should be a balance, where you're just keeping them at arms length. I think remaining polite is absolutely key here. I mean, once you respond back angrily, or in a mean way, you just make enemies (even when you haven't done anything), and that never ends well for that lone person. If you're a newbie, then its even more important, if you want to survive in the workplace. People may not see this, but clearly there are particular individuals in the office (usually 2) that controls the general company politics and gossip. I think at school its fine, since you probably have friends, and well you're still going to be there no matter what, unlike work where it can ruin your career. I have a passive aggressive personality, however not as much at school because it's a different environment for me. From a different perspective I would say that I get very annoyed if I am ignored, unless I can see that I bothered the person. Really there is no winning against a passive aggressive person tbh (there is no winner in general). If you show signs of being bothered the passive aggressive person will become happy, if you completely ignore them, they'll just keep doing it anyway. The only way to win is to stay away from a seriously passive aggressive person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalina 391 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 These kind of people just want a reaction,don't give it to them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0neanias 13,516 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yes, this is a good response. A chuckle is even better. Such people aren't worth anything more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaniPi 2,626 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 I have a passive aggressive personality, however not as much at school because it's a different environment for me. From a different perspective I would say that I get very annoyed if I am ignored, unless I can see that I bothered the person. Really there is no winning against a passive aggressive person tbh (there is no winner in general). If you show signs of being bothered the passive aggressive person will become happy, if you completely ignore them, they'll just keep doing it anyway. The only way to win is to stay away from a seriously passive aggressive person. Yeah, pretty much. They're looking to get a reaction, or to solidify their aggression and contempt. If a person shows hatred and anger towards them, they won't even think about whether its because of them, they will just assume that they're the problem. So, they will most likely be a target of bullying too. You can't really win, unless you really confront them aggressively (ideally in front of everyone) with what they have said, but it is often difficult to confront a passive aggressive person, as it can easily backfire. However, there is always a small chance, that at some point they will make it direct. If that happens, I don't think anyone should hold back then. I think there should be a limit to ignoring, because lots of people are aware of this, and may not stop. I mean, the reason why people do it, is half-because they don't expect the other person to blow up on them, or the circumstances seem difficult for the lone person to say or do anything, which they take full advantage of. Anyway, its rather petty if a person just randomly does that against someone who has done nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darling 1,107 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Yeah, pretty much. They're looking to get a reaction, or to solidify their aggression and contempt. If a person shows hatred and anger towards them, they won't even think about whether its because of them, they will just assume that they're the problem. So, they will most likely be a target of bullying too. You can't really win, unless you really confront them aggressively (ideally in front of everyone) with what they have said, but it is often difficult to confront a passive aggressive person, as it can easily backfire. However, there is always a small chance, that at some point they will make it direct. If that happens, I don't think anyone should hold back then. I think there should be a limit to ignoring, because lots of people are aware of this, and may not stop. I mean, the reason why people do it, is half-because they don't expect the other person to blow up on them, or the circumstances seem difficult for the lone person to say or do anything, which they take full advantage of. Anyway, its rather petty if a person just randomly does that against someone who has done nothing. that's so, so true. I guess the only thing to do is to genuinely not care, because once you don't care, then the other person can say whatever they want. I would personally just leave them, but since it's in a workplace you can't do that as easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notimeforspaces 751 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 If I were you I'd be passive aggressive back to them (cause I have no self control and I get pissed easily), but that might cost you your job so I wouldn't advise it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delirium 4,237 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Since the person is in a work environment and they are dealing with a senior and permanent staff member it is best to brush it off, for the moment since aggressive responses can result in the new worker getting reprimanded instead of the person who has been with the job longer. However, once the new worker has built up some time on the job and rapport with other people on the job, then it would be best to address it if the behavior persists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.