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How do you deal with this type of friends?


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So you have this friend who barely invites you to anything. You look back at the past 2 years and mostly you only hang out at a coffee because you invited her. You have a whatsapp group with a few friends and you talk about going out, vacation, going to music festivals and that one friend never replies. Everytime she says someting it's about her job which no one really cares. Everybody has problems at work and hers is not even the worst. You even see her at the mall and she looks like she's hiding from you with her boyfriend and when I asked her later she said no, that she wasn't hiding. But then she injured her foot and texted me asking if I could drive her to the doctor because she couldn't drive... I said yes, maybe because I'm stupid. She never said anything again ever since this, it was in december. Besides that day she wanted to have lunch, we went to have lunch and in the middle of it asked me if I could drop her at some place to meet the boyfriend... She didn't even want to hang out with me, she should have called a taxi...

Should I call her and tell her that I don't like this or just stop talking at all? I don't like misunderstandings and like to clarify things even if I stop talking to her after it but at the same time, I don't talk to her since december, besides things have been like this for a long time so in a year we maybe were togheter like 4 or 5 times. I don't realy feel like talking to her anymore and leave it this way.

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with this type of people, I just let it fizzle out. I'd hesitate to call her your 'friend' since you guys barely talk/hang out at all. next time she asks you to chauffeur for her, just make up an excuse and keep going that way, she'll get the message eventually

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Sounds like she's using you I have a lot of experience with people like this and essentially they don't care about you and only care about what you have to offer. They'll drop you as soon as your no longer convenient to them and it'll hurt. If they really lack decency they'll come crawling back to you if you have something they want again.

 

For the most part dump the bitch.

 

If you two share deeper history think it through.

 

Though honestly it's your life and decisions I and other people don't know her in person or all the details. So do whatever you think it's best.

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You should just call her up to clarify things regardless of what the outcome will be because you sound like you want closure if the friendship is doomed (or it will eat you up thinking about it).

 

I would say whatever made you becomes friends, that bond is now gone.  She's only staying "friends" with you because you have some use to her, free travel.

 

 

Sounds like she's using you I have a lot of experience with people like this and essentially they don't care about you and only care about what you have to offer. They'll drop you as soon as your no longer convenient to them and it'll hurt. If they really lack decency they'll come crawling back to you if you have something they want again.

 

For the most part dump the bitch.

 

If you two share deeper history think it through.

 

Though honestly it's your life and decisions I and other people don't know her in person or all the details. So do whatever you think it's best.

I strongly agree with this comment.  

 

Truth hurts but she's not worth your time TBVH.

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So you have this friend who barely invites you to anything. You look back at the past 2 years and mostly you only hang out at a coffee because you invited her. You have a whatsapp group with a few friends and you talk about going out, vacation, going to music festivals and that one friend never replies. Everytime she says someting it's about her job which no one really cares. Everybody has problems at work and hers is not even the worst. You even see her at the mall and she looks like she's hiding from you with her boyfriend and when I asked her later she said no, that she wasn't hiding. But then she injured her foot and texted me asking if I could drive her to the doctor because she couldn't drive... I said yes, maybe because I'm stupid. She never said anything again ever since this, it was in december. Besides that day she wanted to have lunch, we went to have lunch and in the middle of it asked me if I could drop her at some place to meet the boyfriend... She didn't even want to hang out with me, she should have called a taxi...

Should I call her and tell her that I don't like this or just stop talking at all? I don't like misunderstandings and like to clarify things even if I stop talking to her after it but at the same time, I don't talk to her since december, besides things have been like this for a long time so in a year we maybe were togheter like 4 or 5 times. I don't realy feel like talking to her anymore and leave it this way.

 

 

I've been in a similar situation, I ended up not talking to the person and eventually deleting that person out of my life.

I don't have time for people who don't put any energy into me.

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Distance yourself from her, she sounds really selfish and not a real friend at all. 'Friends' like this aren't worth your time or energy, you could be much happier without her in your life. I've cut off so many people like her and I do feel better for it. 

 

Ofc it's up to you but she seems to be wasting your time! 

 

♥♥♥

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I always want to be the "better person" when it comes to friendship but sometimes you just need to cut people off and move on.. I would suggest to talk things out but it doesn't really work when the other party doesn't give a shit tbh. Nice people are always taken for granted in general and you shouldn't let others walk all over you.    

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I hope you are willing to lose a precious friend because this same scenario happened to me too. Dropping friends isn't easy, but once you do it once, it gets easier. Remember, your being is the most important. You are the protagonist of your own story. At least I hope so. I also want you to know that people change, both you and her, so you have to understand she may not want to act like before.

 

Tell her your feelings and frustrations and if she responds half-assedly (your intuition will pick this up) and won't change, then block her. You're already used to not hanging out with her anyway. 

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I had a friend like that. What really broke the last straw is when I saw her at the metro station. I made it obvious and was saying hi to her, but she just walked right past me putting her headphones on. My friend thinks it was unintentional, but I know she did that shit on purpose. And now I even know she did it on purpose is because the day after she did that, she randomly started snachatting me, acting like nothing just happened....she hasn't snapchat me in forever, so I doubt it's a coincidence. 

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I don't know how to say this in a way that won't hurt your feelings, so please don't read if you think it might.

 

I don't think this girl wants to be your friend. You've mentioned her hiding from you, you are always instigating the plans, she brushes you off and ignores you unless she needs something. This tells me that she's trying to give you the hint that she's not interested in really being friends but isn't ballsy enough to tell you that to your face, so she's being passive-aggressive about it. She also seems to only be using you when she needs your assistance. That's not how friends work. She doesn't sound worth your time. Life's too short for crap like that. Find some good people that do want to hang out with you. 

 

Don't bother telling her you're done with her - just don't talk to her anymore. Let it die down on its own. If you haven't talked to her since December it'd be a bit awkward to start now just to "break up" with her. But if you really need closure, be calm and mature about it and tell her what was bothering you then don't bother with her after that. I doubt she'll think anything of it so I do think it's best to just not message her and move on.

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