LGBTQIA Community Thread! If you're queer come here~

[Jala]

Haven't been on here for awhile but hey!! Just wanted to have a mini rant of some sort,

So I'm 18 and at this point of time, people my age are full blown in the sexual awakenings. Everyone has a boyfriend or at least have interests, and as a socially anxious Graysexual Grayaromantic girl I'm thankfully out of that loop and mostly spending my days before I join college at home. But it just irks me that everytime someone asks me if I have a boyfriend/interest, and I flat out say, NO, I have no interest and I have no boyfriend. I don't think I'll even have one anytime soon.

And some people's immediate reaction was to say either, I'm lying or "I'll find the right person" and I just- it annoys me so much because I'm just not interested please and thank-you I don't care why can't you people understand.

So yeah that's been my #gracestruggle. Which I'm sure will amplify once I get into college. Sighs.

[Tee]

So I opened instagram to find out that these clips came out.

:ahmagah: https://instagram.com/p/BGMk0LiPokq/

https://instagram.com/p/BGIjn_iDHzo/

[taemiz]

So I opened instagram to find out that these clips came out.

:ahmagah: https://instagram.com/p/BGMk0LiPokq/

https://instagram.com/p/BGIjn_iDHzo/

 

goshhh I love their relationship  :rlytearpls:

[Turn the Clocks]

Haven't been on here for awhile but hey!! Just wanted to have a mini rant of some sort,

So I'm 18 and at this point of time, people my age are full blown in the sexual awakenings. Everyone has a boyfriend or at least have interests, and as a socially anxious Graysexual Grayaromantic girl I'm thankfully out of that loop and mostly spending my days before I join college at home. But it just irks me that everytime someone asks me if I have a boyfriend/interest, and I flat out say, NO, I have no interest and I have no boyfriend. I don't think I'll even have one anytime soon.

And some people's immediate reaction was to say either, I'm lying or "I'll find the right person" and I just- it annoys me so much because I'm just not interested please and thank-you I don't care why can't you people understand.

So yeah that's been my #gracestruggle. Which I'm sure will amplify once I get into college. Sighs.

 

Don't worry, I'm in the same boat. I'm so fed up of people reacting with sympathy and saying 'don't worry you'll find someone soon' as if I'm not perfectly happy on my own. People don't believe it, they think I'm being defensive. I can hear the pity in their voices. It really irks me too.

[NoahStark]

Hello to everyone! I'm new on OH and I just wanted to offer my support to all of you!

I don't like labels a lot, but I guess I could say I'm asexual. I can get excited and all but when it comes to action - let's just say all my interest disappears. With men and women alike. I'm also not interested in a relationships, and that causes a lot of trouble - my family keeps putting pressure on me saying I should find someone already..and I'm just 21. 

It's so difficult sometimes, they make me feel like I'm weird - when I know I'm not.

I hope in the future we will all be able to just..Be free, you know? Without so many rules like we have now.  :._.:

 

[spoiler]Also I'm italian, so I hope my english was okay AHAHAHHA[/spoiler]

[hailanal]

^stop ur inglese is like perfect
 

/

 

stupid story but

 

[spoiler]
I bottomed for the first time on Sunday
 
and oh lord I regret eating curry the day before

 

[spoiler]okay it's not what you think, but I basically spent like an hour trying to douche and clean myself because I was SUPER anxious that I wouldn't be clean

 

but obviously in the process I used too much water, so everything (basically curry) continued to come out...

 

lol ok not very sexy... so I gave up and said to my (now ex... :/) boyfriend that I can't do it and that we should just play instead, but he insisted that just try it anyway, of which we did (and everything was already clean, so evidently I went too far and the douching was hardly necessary)

 

[spoiler]

so of course, it was my first time... things hurt a little bit but everything went quite great (he wasn't the best top)

 

but ah, anyway, I COULD FEEL THE SPICES OF THE CURRY BURNING IN MY BUTTHOLE

 

so it was like added pain and it was so weird?

 

in the end we ended up getting into a good position and ahh, I was moaning so much (and after we finished the neighbours were yelling that we had finished fucking in Spanish lmao)

 

okay lame story but I thought I'd share this first experience with you all. so then yeah, at the end of the day I was sort of dumped haha...

[/spoiler]

[/spoiler]

 

[/spoiler]

[jsa]

(short intro, I think I've posted in this thread before but it's been over a year at least)

Hey I'm Joe, gay, cis male etc.

 

Anywho

 

What the fuck is with people on this forum or the internet generally being so negative towards sexuality as a spectrum or things like queer identity which don't fit into their box/label etc. 

 

[spoiler]

I guess this post is brought on by me reading through a couple of old threads on this topic and then seeing a new thread asking about everyone's orientation but calling anything not LGB "fake".

 

I ESPECIALLY see this confusion with people talking about how they're bi/trans/asexual and not "identifying" as LGBTQIA or understanding why gender expression and sexual orientation are related. Yes there's differences, because but that doesn't mean they're not related to one another. I think that the word orientation in itself is key to understanding it? We use "orientation" while talking about directions, too. Left and right aren't the same as the cardinal directions and it's conditional whether they fit each other (left is the opposite of right but left and right can both be South for example), but it's still talking about the same thing. 

Gender may be a social construct, but so are the ways that orientations other than cis-hetero have been historically disadvantaged, so.

 

What's the obsession with calling things like bisexuality or asexuality or pansexuality fake?? You're never going to experience it for yourself if you're not one of the above, so that's free reign to dismiss it?

I don't understand physics which is a lie I remember some things from highschool but I'm not going to say it doesn't exist. Holy shit.

 

And often I just see the same arguments brought up about groups of problematic gays being brought up as some sort of cure-all to this "I don't think LGBTQIA should be a thing!!" As a gay man, I know that the "G" can definitely do better, and there's many of us out there who are striving to do better. 

There's clearly rampant racism, transphobia etc. within the gay community, but there are still issues about gender expression that the gay community experiences (especially with regards to masculinity) and I know that the same issues exist across the entire movement.

 

It just doesn't make sense to me how individuals who feel left out or neglected by the community as a whole are content to just bitch about and point fingers at the gays as if we're all horrible people and want to make LGBTQIA issues all about ourselves. Splintering up LGBTQIA isn't going to help the cause. I acknowledge that sexual orientation/gender/gender expression/romance is ALL a personal journey and you don't necessarily need to know about the origins of the movement for equal rights and treatment in order to know that you don't fit the heterosexual label in some way, but I really think we all owe it to ourselves to become educated at SOME point along the way. No one likes an idiot.

 

I know I'm not really presenting what I'm complaining about in a particularly eloquent or cohesive manner, but I don't know what's with the idiots on this forum sometimes. The logic applied to their arguments is neverrr sound. It's symptomatic of internet culture as a whole, of course, but it irks me so much....

[/spoiler]

Edited June 10, 2016 by jsa

[Turn the Clocks]

(short intro, I think I've posted in this thread before but it's been over a year at least)

Hey I'm Joe, gay, cis male etc.

 

Anywho

 

What the fuck is with people on this forum or the internet generally being so negative towards sexuality as a spectrum or things like queer identity which don't fit into their box/label etc. 

 

[spoiler]

I guess this post is brought on by me reading through a couple of old threads on this topic and then seeing a new thread asking about everyone's orientation but calling anything not LGB "fake".

 

I ESPECIALLY see this confusion with people talking about how they're bi/trans/asexual and not "identifying" as LGBTQIA or understanding why gender expression and sexual orientation are related. Yes there's differences, because but that doesn't mean they're not related to one another. I think that the word orientation in itself is key to understanding it? We use "orientation" while talking about directions, too. Left and right aren't the same as the cardinal directions and it's conditional whether they fit each other (left is the opposite of right but left and right can both be South for example), but it's still talking about the same thing. 

Gender may be a social construct, but so are the ways that orientations other than cis-hetero have been historically disadvantaged, so.

 

What's the obsession with calling things like bisexuality or asexuality or pansexuality fake?? You're never going to experience it for yourself if you're not one of the above, so that's free reign to dismiss it?

I don't understand physics which is a lie I remember some things from highschool but I'm not going to say it doesn't exist. Holy shit.

 

And often I just see the same arguments brought up about groups of problematic gays being brought up as some sort of cure-all to this "I don't think LGBTQIA should be a thing!!" As a gay man, I know that the "G" can definitely do better, and there's many of us out there who are striving to do better. 

There's clearly rampant racism, transphobia etc. within the gay community, but there are still issues about gender expression that the gay community experiences (especially with regards to masculinity) and I know that the same issues exist across the entire movement.

 

It just doesn't make sense to me how individuals who feel left out or neglected by the community as a whole are content to just bitch about and point fingers at the gays as if we're all horrible people and want to make LGBTQIA issues all about ourselves. Splintering up LGBTQIA isn't going to help the cause. I acknowledge that sexual orientation/gender/gender expression/romance is ALL a personal journey and you don't necessarily need to know about the origins of the movement for equal rights and treatment in order to know that you don't fit the heterosexual label in some way, but I really think we all owe it to ourselves to become educated at SOME point along the way. No one likes an idiot.

 

I know I'm not really presenting what I'm complaining about in a particularly eloquent or cohesive manner, but I don't know what's with the idiots on this forum sometimes. It's symptomatic of internet culture as a whole, of course, but it irks me so much....

[/spoiler]

 

I think people prefer clear lines and distinctions because it seems more tangible, which is why they are generally more dismissive of anything in-between the lines. Even though humans are constantly trying to simplify and categorise things like this the world just isn't like that. Not everything is quantifiable. 

I find it very irritating when I'm dismissed like this because I don't fit nicely into one of the 'main categories'. But I'd never generalise the blame and get angry at any of the 'main categories' for this dismissive attitude because this seems very hypocritical to me.

 

We'll get there eventually. It takes so long for social change to actually have an effect. Hopefully internet culture will help us evolve instead of devolve.

[jsa]

I think people prefer clear lines and distinctions because it seems more tangible, which is why they are generally more dismissive of anything in-between the lines. Even though humans are constantly trying to simplify and categorise things like this the world just isn't like that. Not everything is quantifiable. 

I find it very irritating when I'm dismissed like this because I don't fit nicely into one of the 'main categories'. But I'd never generalise the blame and get angry at any of the 'main categories' for this dismissive attitude because this seems very hypocritical to me.

 

We'll get there eventually. It takes so long for social change to actually have an effect. Hopefully internet culture will help us evolve instead of devolve.

That's true as well.

I know that personally I have less trouble navigating the grey areas than I do with absolutes (as in I can rarely take anything at face value or accept something. Hell I even avoid generating a strong opinion about anything as well) so from that standpoint it makes it difficult to 

 

I mean even personally I feel like my gender identity was learned/conditioned. I know for a fact that when I was young (4~5) I didn't have a clear concept of gender. I was always playing with my sister and performing both female and male roles (but mostly female), and I have this distinct  memory of wanting to be a mother when I was younger, too. Boys made me incredibly uncomfortable. 

It wasn't really until I started kindergarten and had an after-school day care where the day care instructor took a picture of me in a dress playing house and gave it to them with other girls (thinking it was cute because she thought I was an amazing kid, not to scare them by any means) that my parents started reinforcing "male" things for me (particularly shoving me into the boy scouts because I wanted to be a girl scout like my sister lol).

I'm comfortable as a male now, and don't foresee myself ever identifying as trans, but I think that the majority of LGBT+ individuals do experience multiple cross-category stages and identities. That alone should be more galvanizing, and weakens this "I'm A and you're B so I don't want to see your input on MY issues" sort of rhetoric. Obviously LGBTQIA isn't cohesive, but I don't think that a movement that is promoting and celebrating equality through diversity ought to be cohesive.

 

Internet's impact on social movements is something I find really fascinating, though. I literally passed up the opportunity to take a seminar class on it this past semester at my university (with a focus on the Black Lives Matter movement) and I'm really kicking myself for it.

[indiechingu]

 

 

your sig

[jsa]

your sig

my #1 ass forever

 

until I find my husband out there lol

Edited June 13, 2016 by jsa

[indiechingu]

my #1 ass forever

 

until I find my husband out there lol

 

well whose ass is it?

[BadGalBeyonChae]

This used to be active~

[indiechingu]

This used to be active~

I know, I think people are just busy?

[Kororo]

First off how are you guys !!!! It's been such a long time since I've been on this thread.

 

I need help yall' I'm so lost. So I have a crush on that girl (she is younger then me, has no prior relationship experience) She identify as BI  (I'm the first person she came out to) which as someone who identify as a lesbian doesn't bother me at all.

 

We have been spending a lot of time together for the past 2 months, and we happened to have been in situation where we were hugging each other for a long period of time (which became an habit) or napping in the same bed her hugging me ( I couldn't nap at all I was way to busy trying to control the pace of my heart. While she was really comfortable in that situation and slept) holding hand while walking etc... I was attracted to her wright away. 

 

Today we met for a coffee and we talked and talked like we always do, and she told me she wanted to ask one of a best friend out. I broke my heart somehow, but since I consider her my friend I decided to support her, gave her a few tips, and told her to call me if things didn't go the way she wanted.

 

We parted ways  with our usual long hug but I could help but have a bitter sweet taste in my mouth.

I think I really like her, I don't know what I'm going to do if she ends up with that friend. But I also know that I don't want her to have  her heart broken.

Funny thing is that she said before we parted ways " imagine if I asked you ? What would you say ?"

I jokingly replied, "I thought we were just friend you and me, you need to ask me first to know the answer to that one."

 

:derp:  I'm so lost and weirdly sad I just needed to share.

Edited June 26, 2016 by Kororo

[Danny Potter]

Not sure if i commented but add me pls

[LUKΞWΔRM]

First off how are you guys !!!! It's been such a long time since I've been on this thread.

 

I need help yall' I'm so lost. So I have a crush on that girl (she is younger then me, has no prior relationship experience) She identify as BI  (I'm the first person she came out to) which as someone who identify as a lesbian doesn't bother me at all.

 

We have been spending a lot of time together for the past 2 months, and we happened to have been in situation where we were hugging each other for a long period of time (which became an habit) or napping in the same bed her hugging me ( I couldn't nap at all I was way to busy trying to control the pace of my heart. While she was really comfortable in that situation and slept) holding hand while walking etc... I was attracted to her wright away. 

 

Today we met for a coffee and we talked and talked like we always do, and she told me she wanted to ask one of a best friend out. I broke my heart somehow, but since I consider her my friend I decided to support her, gave her a few tips, and told her to call me if things didn't go the way she wanted.

 

We parted ways  with our usual long hug but I could help but have a bitter sweet taste in my mouth.

I think I really like her, I don't know what I'm going to do if she ends up with that friend. But I also know that I don't want her to have  her heart broken.

Funny thing is that she said before we parted ways " imagine if I asked you ? What would you say ?"

I jokingly replied, "I thought we were just friend you and me, you need to ask me first to know the answer to that one."

 

:derp:  I'm so lost and weirdly sad I just needed to share.

 

hello  :meow:

[spoiler]

 

i've had a similar situation before where just as i was about to  tell that person i liked them, they told me how they liked someone else and were asking me for advice on how to tell the person about it 

 

i immediately decided not to tell that person only because i thought it would hurt me if i did and that person liked someone else anyways. looking back, im glad i didn't tell b/c it was just a crush anyways -- i wasn't very serious about it, so it w as better that i had not told 

 

im not good at giving advice but for your situation,  i guess it depends how serious you are about her

if ur interested in pursuing a relationship with her, i think you should be honest and tell her how you feel 

if you think it might be just a crush that might go away -- i guess then you don't really have to tell her.. but.. lols, i'm not sure... i feel like you should do what you think is best ^^

[/spoiler]

[Kororo]

hello :meow:
[spoiler]

i've had a similar situation before where just as i was about to tell that person i liked them, they told me how they liked someone else and were asking me for advice on how to tell the person about it

i immediately decided not to tell that person only because i thought it would hurt me if i did and that person liked someone else anyways. looking back, im glad i didn't tell b/c it was just a crush anyways -- i wasn't very serious about it, so it w as better that i had not told

im not good at giving advice but for your situation, i guess it depends how serious you are about her
if ur interested in pursuing a relationship with her, i think you should be honest and tell her how you feel
if you think it might be just a crush that might go away -- i guess then you don't really have to tell her.. but.. lols, i'm not sure... i feel like you should do what you think is best ^^
[/spoiler]

Thanks for your reply , ended up calling her right before her meet with the other girl and confessing, it's for sure more then just a crush for me. I might end up being just a first experience for her and I guess that those scare me a bit, but I'm taking the chance. First date tonight, I'm a nervous mess !!!! Edited June 29, 2016 by Kororo

[snsdreceipts]

Ah I like this discussion about relationship pressure.

 

I've been with a few guys (a lil more than a few tbvh) but never really had a proper relationship. My parents don't know that I'm gay but I'm guessing at the very least my mum might expect it. But that's not really an issue for me.

 

I just feel kinda weird when I see my twin brother and older brother get into long relationships with nice girls. Like, none of the guys I've been with I've considered seeing for more than a few weeks. Not sure if that means I'm just a huge commitment avoiding slut bag or I just haven't found someone worth it yet.

 

My theory is kinda that, for a lot of gay people, they're denied I guess the "right" to experience childhood and crushes and early relationships in a natural progression like heterosexuals. And then when we reach adulthood, we find it a lot harder to adjust because the mistakes we may have made when we were kids have a lot more consequences now for us than they would have back then, so we crave simple pleasures and quick flings rather than anything exceedingly complicated or special. I gets that's at least what I tell myself anyway. Better than the slut bag explanation.

 

Like I do really wanna just normally meet someone and have a naturally progressing relationship with them, but it never turns out that way.

 

 

^stop ur inglese is like perfect
 

/

 

stupid story but

 

[spoiler]
I bottomed for the first time on Sunday
 
and oh lord I regret eating curry the day before

 

[spoiler]okay it's not what you think, but I basically spent like an hour trying to douche and clean myself because I was SUPER anxious that I wouldn't be clean

 

but obviously in the process I used too much water, so everything (basically curry) continued to come out...

 

lol ok not very sexy... so I gave up and said to my (now ex... :/) boyfriend that I can't do it and that we should just play instead, but he insisted that just try it anyway, of which we did (and everything was already clean, so evidently I went too far and the douching was hardly necessary)

 

[spoiler]

so of course, it was my first time... things hurt a little bit but everything went quite great (he wasn't the best top)

 

but ah, anyway, I COULD FEEL THE SPICES OF THE CURRY BURNING IN MY BUTTHOLE

 

so it was like added pain and it was so weird?

 

in the end we ended up getting into a good position and ahh, I was moaning so much (and after we finished the neighbours were yelling that we had finished fucking in Spanish lmao)

 

okay lame story but I thought I'd share this first experience with you all. so then yeah, at the end of the day I was sort of dumped haha...

[/spoiler]

[/spoiler]

 

[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler]Sis it happens to the best of us. What health class won't tell you is that bottoming takes like 2 days of preparation to be somewhat enjoyable. In fact health class won't tell you anything about homosexuality at all.

 

Also why I just prefer to top or do neither at all. So much patience and preparation that I could otherwise spend arguing with teenage girls about KPOP on Twitter.[/spoiler]

Edited June 29, 2016 by lmaodont

[hailanal]

[spoiler]Sis it happens to the best of us. What health class won't tell you is that bottoming takes like 2 days of preparation to be somewhat enjoyable. In fact health class won't tell you anything about homosexuality at all.

 

Also why I just prefer to top or do neither at all. So much patience and preparation that I could otherwise spend arguing with teenage girls about KPOP on Twitter.[/spoiler]

 

ugh, I forgot that I wrote that mess here lmao, what was I doing

 

anyway

 

[spoiler]

right! but I guess it depends on the person... like my boyfriend can just do it whenever he wants because for some reason he has a magical fairy butthole that is nearly always clean. but he sucks at bottoming, so i'll do it. we're LDR anyway, none of that for now... or maybe even ever harhar

[/spoiler]

[Messy Oppa]

Hello beautiful people.

I'm here to see if someone gives me another point of view and help me a little.

 

[spoiler]

I met a boy like 5 years ago. We started dating soon after (without labels) and everything was cool, but I screw it up. I suddenly feel afraid of having a serious relationship so I started to ignore his calls and messages, and eventually we stop talking. Thas was rude af, i know, I regret it, but I was a stupid 19yo back then.

A few years ago we meet again. We have everything in common, so we decide to become friends again, play videogames, watch movies, listen music, went to the library to study.... and eventually had sex. But we stayed like that, friends with benefits. We even talk about boys and crush. And when one started a relationship, we quit the "benefits" part.

Lately, we are meeting more and more (now both singles) because we are actually good friends. A few night ago, he asked me to try to form a serious relationship. I was in the after-sex climax (that exist?) so I said yes. But now I'm not sure. I really like him and I can imagine myself have a long relantionship with him. But at the same time I miss something, you know, the butterflys, the fire, and all that shit. My friends tell me to take it easily. To star something with him, and if the things don't work, just be honest. But I don't want to hurt him (again) and sometimes I have the feeling that a lying to him. But I'm afraid that if I told him that i'm not 100% in love with him, he would feel tired eventually and leave me (what also means that I care, right? no? idk)

I know I'm an asshole but I don't know what to do. [/spoiler]

 

Sorry for my english

[sapphicsunmi]

im so happy rn

 

im with this awesome human bean, he is genderqueer and totally gets me having dysphoria and also being ace

 

he is really pervy but still gets that im ace

 

im so happy gawdddddd

[sunmi]

I'm new here, so I'll just quickly introduce myself and say that I'm a lesbian. I'm not out in real life because it's just not a possibility right now + I haven't yet found the courage to take that step  :._.:

 

Anyways, I'm always willing to listen/talk to anyone about anything so if you need a friend or someone to vent to hit me up!!

[sapphicsunmi]

I'm new here, so I'll just quickly introduce myself and say that I'm a lesbian. I'm not out in real life because it's just not a possibility right now + I haven't yet found the courage to take that step  :._.:

 

Anyways, I'm always willing to listen/talk to anyone about anything so if you need a friend or someone to vent to hit me up!!

 

 

its totally fine to not be out, take your time^^

[Crests]

I'm new here too hello I'm I guess nonbinary? and then i dont know what that makes my sexuality but it might be gay lol

Edited July 12, 2016 by Crests