LGBTQIA Community Thread! If you're queer come here~

[Almondandlime]

This is a fairly random question, but how important is your sexuality to you all here? Do you consider it to be an integral part of your identity or not really?

Edited December 17, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

 

 

I've never had Starbucks, what's so great about it?

Ironically, the label.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

I don't like lemon flavored things, chocolate, or coffee so none of that would attract me to them. Do they have anything blueberry?

If you're gonna go to Starbucks just for the bakery items you're better off just going somewhere else tbh. 

[Almondandlime]

Just curious are/were there any people on this thread who fit in the TQIA category?

[Almondandlime]

idk any.

You where do you fit? o.o

Urrrr. I'm an avid lurker. I often forget that after months of stalking a particular thread I've never actually posted/introduced myself so I just randomly jump in a conversation and forget that no one knows who I am. 

 

As for where I fit... It's pretty complicated and I've confused myself to heck with it and I keep trying to stop thinking about it and let it work itself out but then I keep thinking about it so.... uh. 

 

If I have to put a label on it, it's either bi/pansexual or asexual, possibly even aromantic. Attraction is all a big ??????? to me and I really don't understand it, but I do know that at least I don't see males and females differently, though I am more comfortable with women because I'm a girl myself and most of the people I'm around are girls too. I do have certain preferences for looks, I do feel aesthetic/sensual attraction, but I don't really understand the connection between liking the way someone looks/loving someone and wanting to have sex with them? I also can't really understand the different between platonic and romantic attraction/love so that's why I think I possibly might be aromantic, but then again it could be just that I'm thinking too much about it so I'm just very unsure in general.  I think I need to give myself a couple more years to figure things out and interact with more people and just give it some time to let everything fall in place. 

 

So I guess this has been my introduction. I'm probably not straight so I guess I fit in here to some extent.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

Whoaw that was a lot haha x)

 

Just kidding :D I understand No need to pressure yourself x)

I was just curious so don't worry. :D

 

Oh hey, I remember! You're that nice person from the Omegle game before :D Hello hello :D

To be honest that's the first time I told anyone my actual feelings about my orientation, on the internet or otherwise. I've hinted about it to a couple of people but never actually outright said it. I also think it's the kind of thing that people will understand/accept better if you just explain your feelings about it rather than use labels. For example, saying "I'm not really interested in having sex/dating people" is much more acceptable than saying "I'm asexual/aromantic." The latter has an element of finality and different-ness that a lot of people really just can't accept, even though it's the same thing as the former.

[Almondandlime]

 

Are their balls retractable or something?

I wish I was that flexible... wow. 

[Almondandlime]

I mean, KK got confused bec I said I'm a "straight" lesbian haha. I usually say that bec some lesbians I know still have a crush on guys while I don't feel anything at all lol

Isn't that just bisexual then? Or at least "homoflexible"...

[Almondandlime]

I wasn't sure how to answer a few of the questions (a lot of them are much more complicated than just true/false), so I took it twice and got X and 3. The whole quiz is not very well designed though, you pretty much have to be completely sure of your orientation beforehand for it to be accurate.

[Almondandlime]

 

I feel so innocent now.

 

I've been lucky enough to grow up in an extremely supportive environment.  I was raised very liberally and I've known several lesbian couples from the time I was very young.  Gay marriage is now legal where I live (I don't want to say exactly, for privacy reasons.)  When I was little and thought boys were gross, I even wanted to grow up and marry a women.

 

So I don't think it's an issue of how I consider myself consciously, because I've never felt that gay/lesbian sex is disgusting (well, any more than hetero sex.)  However, I wasn't really confident of my sexuality (or anything else really) in high school and I was teased/bullied a lot because of that.  And I was a member of the GSA and I had queer friends and everything.  I guess I had this subconscious block against seeing myself as so.

It's great that you're opening up to yourself about it. I guess I've kind of been in denial about my own orientation for a while. When I was a kid growing up, I thought boys and masculinity was really gross and I didn't like them at all. I thought girls looked much prettier than guys. When I was a preteen I was literally dreading the point I would develop an attraction to guys. (I didn't want to be "boy crazy" like most teenage girls I had seen) In high school, I did start seeing guys "differently" but I think that might have been just because I was overly conscious of it, I assumed I could not be anything but straight , and I just never spent any time with guys in general, so they were "foreign" to me. I wasn't really ever interested in dating/doing anything else around them though, I was just nervous. I remember I actually had a lot of people ask me if I was gay in 9th and 10th grade because I never seemed to be interested in boys and I just denied it and didn't really consider it a possibility. But I can't say I was interested in dating girls either. I felt more comfortable/admired their appearances more, but I couldn't really see myself doing anything with them either. As time passed, some part of me kind took on the "bi" label because I couldn't say I liked boys more than girls but I never bothered telling anyone cause I didn't feel like dating anyone anyways. But then I revisited the possibility that I could be asexual. I visited a couple of sites/communities and I clicked so much a lot of it, but not all of it. Some days I feel like I could be completely ace because everything involving sex/relationships grosses me out, but other days I feel like it doesn't seem that bad. But when I'm in an even remotely sexual situation in real life I invariably get grossed out. I wonder if it's just an "inexperienced" thing or a more permanent thing. I'm pretty sex-negative (concerning myself) in general, even though I grew up in a very liberal area and no one ever told me that sex was "bad." I could call myself  "greysexual" like some people do in ace communities but I feel like that's such a "special snowflake" label that I'm very hesitant to take it.... Anyways no one asks me about it or wants to date me so I guess it doesn't even really matter.   My romantic orientation is even more confusing because romantic love as opposed to platonic/friendship love is all a big ???? to me...

 

 

Anyways I somehow related to your post and realization. Congrats to you on figuring it out (sort of) and good luck for whatever the future will bring you. ^^

Edited January 5, 2014 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

Not that it matters and only if you're comfortable with answering..

 

But what race is everyone?

White. If we're being specific here, half Russian and half Russian Jew. Edited January 5, 2014 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

Today people were saying it was ok to see homosexuality, paedophilia and bestiality as the same "sexual deviations"...I keep reporting like crazy, but the fact that members get to make threads like that in the first place is appalling to me. If somebody posts a naked body they get banned, but saying homosexuals are disgusting and wrong is ok (at least as long as they state they're religious, because you know...you can bash gays all you want if you believe in a god)...There is a lot of homophobic behaviour going on and it's on the rise...and I'm not here for that...

I only saw the OP being homophobic... People were actually agreeing? o_o

[Almondandlime]

Thanks

 

Ah, okay. There seem to be just a few regulars here, but it was worth a shot. It's like that in a lot of LGBT+ places, where the breakdown is pretty much:

GLB TQIA.

There are a couple of A's around here...

[Almondandlime]

ummm hello

 

 

 

 

 

 

here it's more like

 

 

GLB TQIA.

Q and I should be even smaller because I don't think anyone at all has ever come on here identifying as one of those... In any case none of it is surprising because statistically, most non cishet people belong to the LGB category...

 

Anyways, welcome to airshippy. If you ever feel like talking, we're all very open and accepting here. 

[Almondandlime]

That's true. The font size doesn't go any smaller, though. XD

 

Thank you :3 I usually stay stealth, but I thought it would be interesting to see what it's like being out somewhere. 

 

It's nice to meet you. I don't think I've ever actually ever actually known a trans* person before enough to have a conversation with them... 

[Almondandlime]

Likewise.

 

It doesn't help that a lot of people (like me) often don't disclose their status if they pass well enough. That's what "stealth" is. There's actually a bit of a debate about whether trans* people should be open or not--some people think we're doing a disservice to the movement if we don't come out. It's a delicate situation.

I see. Well I guess it's much nicer for you if look like your gender enough that no one can tell you're trans* at first glance. In my opinion no one should have to come out if they don't want to. Not everyone has to be an activist.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what gender do you identify as? When did you realize were trans?

[Almondandlime]

Yeah. I mean, I have a friend who is very out about his transition, but then I started transitioning three years ago (in high school) and he's just starting this year (freshman in university). It depends on the person and a lot of the time on the situation--a lot of people don't come out because of safety concerns. 

 

I identify as male. I started figuring things out when I was maybe 12 or 13. I don't actually remember how, though. 

Once you realized, how long did it take for you until you were sure about wanting to transition? Did you ever doubt yourself about how you identified? (Sorry if this is too personal, I'm just curious, feel free to not answer if you don't want to)

[Almondandlime]

It's all good. It took quite a while. I kind of went through stages of coming to terms with it, from thinking I might just be a tomboy to maybe being genderqueer to finally figuring out that I felt completely male. Luckily my parents were pretty supportive, even if they took some time to come around. It was maybe a year and a half? I don't know. I cut my hair the summer after I turned 14, so I guess that's kind of when it started.

Sorry again for the amount of questions but what do you think is the difference between a very masculine girl and a trans guy? Is it mostly how the person chooses to identify?

[Almondandlime]

Almond asking all the questions I was too pussy to ask so i'll just continue to lurk

 

 

here's something for the lesbians

 

Haha am I being too shameless? I've always wondered a lot about genders and gender roles. How much of it is innate and how much of it is cultural? Are the feminine things I do inherently a part of me or is it just my upbringing? If I were somehow forced to live as a man would I be okay with it or would my supposed femininity make me miserable? I think about these kinds of things a lot.

[Almondandlime]

It's about self-identity, not expression. A masculine girl (though I don't want to make any assumptions) would probably identify as female. A trans guy generally identifies as male. And it isn't really any more of a choice than sexuality.

I don't think our identity is a choice but I think the labels we identify ourselves with are more of a choice. I guess in that situation it depends on how comfortable the person is with others seeing him/her as a girl amoung other factors.

 

Oops sorry for the double post...

Edited January 12, 2014 by Almondandlime

[Almondandlime]

Haha sorry airshippy for the deluge of questions. As time goes on and I learn more about other identities and orientations I start to question myself more and more. My own identity is a big ???? to me and I don't see it getting very much clearer any time soon. I don't understand how anyone could be sure about anything.

[Almondandlime]

interesting!!

i have a friend who is MTF transitioning and a attracted to gay men.....do that make him straight?

Well if the person is a girl and is only attracted to guys, then yes, she's straight.

[Almondandlime]

but she only likes GAY men....does that still make her straight?

we have a lil crew that goes out to the bar on sundays and she is like madly in love with my other friend who is gay.

Gay men are still men so...yes.

[Almondandlime]

I know that some FTM people that were initially attracted to girls before transitioning and now they are only attracted to guys. it's not very uncommon for them to feel attracted to guys during the hormonal threrapy, so that's why I was wondering if you were always attracted to guys.

I've never heard of that before... Is that an actual thing that commonly happens? Can hormonal therapy actually change someone's sexuality? If it's true that's kind of scary...

[Almondandlime]

/pities my lovelife

Don't worry I'm sure you'll find a lovely lady soon. As for me,it would have to exist for me to be able to pity it.

 

That's completely okay for me, but my long-dwindling social life seems to be dying at any moment. Why is maintaining friendships so difficult.

Edited January 12, 2014 by Almondandlime