Can this relationship be saved? I'm kind of getting all emotional right now

[KinkySanta]

I recently got back in contact with this guy that was my friend with benefits back in 2014. To give you a short summary of how that relationship went basically we hooked up on the very first date and I at the time was just wanting to lose my virginity and not be in a relationship while he was a virgin but wanted to be in a relationship with me. He kept asking what we were and I kept saying we were just friends with benefits. I at the time was a jerk though and said a lot of mean things to him like, "us hanging out without having sex would be a waste of my time" and other mean stuff that I really regret and am sorry for. after about a year of us meeting up every week I ended up getting feelings for him. At this point he had already signed up for the military and was about to leave for bootcamp, so we ended things.

  He's been trying to get in contact with me for about 6 months now and I thought I was texting him back, but he wasn't getting the texts until he added me on facebook and I we started talking again.

 We met up for the first time in a long time last week and he told me how he always saw me as more than a friend with benefits and I said I felt the same way, but we both agreed we wouldn't get into a relationship since he could be stationed far away at anytime. It was all going well, but things were a little bit different today.

  Today he straight up asked me if I see him as a sex object because he always felt I saw him as one since I'd only hit him up for sex and that he'd still want to see me even if I did. I told him that I saw him as more than that. Then we hung out and had a good time. Then he goes on to bring up that he feels like we can only really have sex because he feels like I only want him for sex because of that thing I said 2 years ago. I told him that I'm different now and I'd be fine with hanging out and not having sex if he wanted.

 

I really like him, but I'm worried that he's stuck on the things I said when I was more of a jerk. I've apologized for it before, but I feel like it's not really getting through to him. Is this beyond saving? Yes, I'm aware I was a jerk to him.

[Gloupipoo]

why is your sex life so messy gurl

[bluesclues]

Yes but it will take time and effort to regain his trust in you. 

 

That depends on whether you are patient enough for him to "heal emotionally" and whether he actually moves on from it and sees you for who you are now.

 

If you don't want to put in the work, then no, this (possible) relationship cannot be saved.

[loveuseutory]

It obviously can be saved. He really treasure you Never conceal your feelings when you're with him, he'll eventually realize your true feelings later.

[Queen's Mine]

Wow That is intresting story, I think you should be fine.

[Lil]

It will probably take some time for him to adjust so I wouldn't try to have sex with him (well easy since hes leaving).

Just continue to support him as a close friend until he feels ready for it you know?

Since how you acted in the past he may just stop seeing you suddenly if he thinks its whats best you know?

[roamingcat]

Sounds to me he still likes you but unsure about how you feel and can't seem to get over how you treated him before. So unless you're absolutely sure you are ready to fully commit (whether he's going to be stationed near or far) and accept the possibility it might take him a long time to trust you again, cut him loose. 

[momorinxoxo]

It obviously can be saved. He really treasure you Never conceal your feelings when you're with him, he'll eventually realize your true feelings later.

This ^^

 

And I think there's really a sign that he's holding on/he sees a sign, so he's not giving up. So don't give up sweetie

[Suzy Quatro]

Maybe he expects for you to be more romantic or something so you could at least try being nicer with him and then it's all up to him.

[oeu]

I recently got back in contact with this guy that was my friend with benefits back in 2014. To give you a short summary of how that relationship went basically we hooked up on the very first date and I at the time was just wanting to lose my virginity and not be in a relationship while he was a virgin but wanted to be in a relationship with me. He kept asking what we were and I kept saying we were just friends with benefits. I at the time was a jerk though and said a lot of mean things to him like, "us hanging out without having sex would be a waste of my time" and other mean stuff that I really regret and am sorry for. after about a year of us meeting up every week I ended up getting feelings for him. At this point he had already signed up for the military and was about to leave for bootcamp, so we ended things.

  He's been trying to get in contact with me for about 6 months now and I thought I was texting him back, but he wasn't getting the texts until he added me on facebook and I we started talking again.

 We met up for the first time in a long time last week and he told me how he always saw me as more than a friend with benefits and I said I felt the same way, but we both agreed we wouldn't get into a relationship since he could be stationed far away at anytime. It was all going well, but things were a little bit different today.

  Today he straight up asked me if I see him as a sex object because he always felt I saw him as one since I'd only hit him up for sex and that he'd still want to see me even if I did. I told him that I saw him as more than that. Then we hung out and had a good time. Then he goes on to bring up that he feels like we can only really have sex because he feels like I only want him for sex because of that thing I said 2 years ago. I told him that I'm different now and I'd be fine with hanging out and not having sex if he wanted.

 

I really like him, but I'm worried that he's stuck on the things I said when I was more of a jerk. I've apologized for it before, but I feel like it's not really getting through to him. Is this beyond saving? Yes, I'm aware I was a jerk to him.

I was just curious...

 

Are u a guy or girl?

 

So u were mean to him?

 

if u r happy when ur with him, then u 2 can be together. but try to be nice to him