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I need some advice: moving in together?


montchery

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So.. I dont tend to make topics here, but I am in need of some advice.

 

I've been dating my bf for 3 years now, we have been friends for 6 years. Last year, around october I moved to the capital as I got a great opportunity+schoolarship. The thing is, if everything goes as planned, next year around january, I will be moving to another country for one year (or may be 2). I will be finishing my master degree in July, and I have yet to make a decision:

 

A) Stay in my city and get job experience to improve my cv, or

B)move back to my other city, look for a job there and spend 6 months with my bf before I leave.

 

My bf wants me to go back and move in together on his parents' beach house, we would not have to worry about the rent, and technically I may be able to find a job there too although there are definitely more interesting vacancies in my current city. My parents dont live here, so if I moved back but didnt want to move in together with him I would have to either live with my grandparents or find roomates and a flat, but considering it will only be y months that will be kind of hard. I still depend financially on my parents.. rent is hella expensive, and my schedule right now doesnt let me get a part time job, unfortunately. If we moved in I would have to be financially independient but that may take some time and moving back to my bf city would also be expensive.

 

However, the main issue here is my parents are super conservative, they would be so disappointed if I moved in with my bf. Their opinion matrers the most to me so I would rather not move in together and stay here. But at the same time I feel really bad for my bf, he's been super supportive and we wont be able to see each other for an entire year so I understand why he wants to spend the remaining time together.

 

We have already talked about how important my parents opinion is to me, but even if it is not now he definitely wants to live together in the future.. we are in a serious relationship and do think about spending the rest of our lives together, but marriage is not in the picture for now as we are both still quite financially dependent on our parents and I am moving abroad next year. Eventhough we are on a committed relationship my parents still wouldnt approve, I am their older daughter so they have high expectations on me, and I would hate to disappoint. I worry about setting a good example to my little sisters too. I am not against the idea of living together before marriage (he spent most of the time on my place anyway when we lived in the same city), but I would never do it without my parents' consent. His parents have been very supportive so far and have offered their other house plenty of times. They know the rent is really expensive where we live, they are very kind and caring. But evenso, I wouldnt feel comfortable not paying any rent to them. Tbh I dont see us moving in together anytime soon ecause my whole family would be against it, eventhough I would love to spend those 6 months with my bf too.

 

So that's it, I dont know what to do.. one side is going to end up disappointed and I should make up my mind soon because my lease is ending in a few months. I would appreaciate your honest advice.

 

Tldr. My parents are very conservative, their opinion is very important to me. I am going abroad next year and my bf wants to move in together before so we can spend more of the remaining time together (we would have to be in a long distance relationship for 1-2 years after I live). I understand both sides but dont know what to do..

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i say follow your heart, do what is best for you!!

 

staying in your city and improving your cv would be best if you want to put your career first, but if you would prefer to focus on your relationship then you could always try to do the same but while living with your boyfriend.

 

although your parents opinion is important, don't put what they say completely first - it is your life, not there's!! do what will achieve the best outcome for you, do the best you can for yourself and they can't be unhappy if you are c:

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A) Stay in your city and get job experience to improve your cv

 

idk i would probably do that because idk im more of career person because where i live it is better to go after your career than love because situation is supersuper hard and after you finish with your job experience you can easily go back to where he is? i may seem cold tbh but that is something i would do,but like it's your choice and i feel helpless because i have never been in that situation before so i'm not the best but still trying to help lmao and you should talk to both your parents and your bf again and show them your options and what do you want to do 

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