Do you agree with abuse as a form of discipline?

[المروة]

All it will do is separate the relationship between the child and parents, it'll make them so so distant. The child will live in constant fear of their own parents. I remember whenever my mother called my name I'd always think shit better get ready for a good beating because I'd get hit so frequently for the dumbest fucking shit before I went I'd wear several layers of shirts and hoodies, that never worked by the way. I wouldn't just get slaps in the face, my mother would actually get weapons, like tree branches, irons, she'd even burn some of my siblings and things of that sort whilst my father loved to use his belt and his fists often when he hit me, I'd shed blood. In the future years, when the child is older they would have difficulty trusting their parents or other people for that matter. 

 

Emotional abuse is pretty bad if not worse than physical abuse, from my view anyway. As a child you're more prone to believe every word that is said whilst you're being roared at, you'll start to believe that you are indeed the names your parents have called you, you'll grow up learning that you are so and so which will lead you into and endless spiral of depression and isolation. 

I get the one off where a parent is just joking and calls you stupid or dumb, that isn't offensive from my perspective. 

 

Fast forward a couple years and I have conflicts with my parents every day, they've learnt that I was suicidal and they think I'm mentally sick so they tip-toe around me and they're so cautious as to every word they say, they've finally noticed that I'm always isolated from the rest of the family.  

 

Were you abused as a child? How have you dealt with it? Where there any long term effects that you have till this day? Do you agree with abuse as a form of discipline?

Tell me your stories ~~ 

[phantøm]

my parents beat me when I was little , but they still give me money so I am happy .

[المروة]

my parents beat me when I was little , but they still give me money so I am happy .

 

You're so lucky, I never got pocket money as a child. 

[phantøm]

You're so lucky, I never got pocket money as a child. 

money represent the happiness of a child . without money , life is boring .

[المروة]

money represent the happiness of a child . without money , life is boring .

 

food + internet = the meaning of life. 

[Irrelephant]

I'm okay with physical discipline, but it's so easy for some people to turn immature and hurt their kids to blow off some steam rather than teaching them a lesson.

 

I also think that you are just as bad a parent (maybe not person) if you become spineless when it comes to misbehaved children. I personally know someone who cries and can't stand his ground when his 9 year old daughter yells at him. His behavior is allowing her to become a terrible human being, it's sad to watch.

[Schitstainz]

No matter how many studies or reports you have read, the result will always differ from family to family.

 

 

The end result will depend solely on the child. They can choose to grow up depressed and isolated, or they can suck it up, forgive, and move on.

 

I used to hate my parents for the verbal and physical abuse I went through. But when I look back at everything I have been through, I'm thankful for it.

[changemysoul]

Same as above. I don't agree with abuse as a form discipline but I'm okay with some things.

 

I grew up in a Yes Ma'am , No Ma'am type of place. We got beatings and stuff but my mother and family members never took it too far and it was always warranted and I guess it helps because I'm one of the few kids I know who are respectful to adults and etc. 

[Tokki the Awkward Potato]

Nope. If every time you do something wrong you're gonna get a beating that's not really good it doesn't teach you anything except that when you do something wrong people can beat you, and they can't. 

[Leo's Candy Jelly Ho]

My family all used to use hitting as a way of discipline.

 

My mom never hit me a lot . Only when I misbehaved really bad.

 

My aunt, on the other hand, she was really strict when I first moved into her house.

I remember she hit me with the belt (like a fucking whole lot) because I called my sister stupid -_-.

 

She was strict with things that were just dumb. For example, one day she wanted us to clean in silence. She said that if we made noise she would come up with the belt. So me and my sis were cleaning and my sis dropped the iron(er?) and so my aunt came and she was gonna hit her but then I got in (lol) and well at the end she didn't hit us.

 

But there were times she had a reason like one time after open house in school she hit us once with the belt for every day we didn't dress out for PE or our uniform wasn't right.

I used to think she hated me because she would hit (like pinch me or with a shoe) me the most and she wouldn't hit my sister that much. They also had a closer relationship so I was kind of jelly   I thought she didn't love me  

But then after she started becoming more calm so she would only hit us if we misbehaved really bad (and she told me she loved me)

 

My uncle hits all 3 of his sons really badly... Like I feel bad for them   They're so scared of not doing what he wants them to... I remember one day my cousin left the remote in the fridge (he was like 7) and he got beat really bad. He came crying to my aunts house and I felt so bad

 

What I learned from my experience is that violence only makes things worse   I'm not gonna hit my kids... I don't want them to think I hate them

[pinkmonster]

I'm 100% against it. If you want to be considered a good parent you must find other ways to help your child grow into a decent and respectable human being. Abuse, whether it is physical or emotional, is and will always be wrong no matter what anyone says.

 

And no, my parents have never hit me.

[Midna]

i swear, we get this topic at least once a month. Also, hitting/spanking DOES NOT EQUAL ABUSE.

 

 

for me, it really depends on the child. I got hit as a child (and still do). If the kid is rowdy and doesn't listen, what the hell is a time out going to do? Different forms of disciplines work on different kids. Though, I do think that if the parent chooses to use spanking as a form of discipline, they should only do it for big matters and not small trivial things.

 

tbh, i dont know if i was abused. i think as a child yes, but when i got older not really. idek.

[Athena]

I was spanked when I misbehaved as a child or my mom would pull me by the ear.

 

But should every type of physical dicipline be confused as abuse? Because I dont really think that spanking is abuse.

 

To answer the question, it depends on what type or level the physical discipline is on. If its something like spanking then I say that that's okay.

 

But I know a lot of teens whose parents belt them now and as a child, but they never got any bruises, it's was pretty minor.

 

As a form of physical discipline I would just do spanking, I don't think I would ever give a belting to my child though.

[المروة]

i swear, we get this topic at least once a month. Also, hitting/spanking DOES NOT EQUAL ABUSE.

 

 

for me, it really depends on the child. I got hit as a child (and still do). If the kid is rowdy and doesn't listen, what the hell is a time out going to do? Different forms of disciplines work on different kids. Though, I do think that if the parent chooses to use spanking as a form of discipline, they should only do it for big matters and not small trivial things.

 

tbh, i dont know if i was abused. i think as a child yes, but when i got older not really. idek.

 

no we don't. 

[Midna]

no we don't. 

 

this topic comes up very often.

[Sari]

Abusing your children has been illegal in Sweden since the 70's and I'm thankful for that. 

[ingenting]

No, i don't believe you should beat your child. You're not allowed to hit another grown up who can't defend him/herself, how could you justify hitting a child? I think you need to try and make a kid understand why they shouldn't do something, why it's wrong. Then it's more likely they'll actually stop eventually because they understand it's not ok, rather than continue but try to hide it because they just understand you think it's not ok. I just think parenting should appeal more to a childs ability to understand and learn than to obey. It's not about enforcing rules with violence and value dicipline above everything else. I would want to raise my children to separate right from wrong, not just to do as they're told. I don't mean that you shouldn't punish your kid, but punishment should  be based more in making them ashamed of what they've done and realize they've put themselves in this position, not making them fear you. Of course respect and being able to follow rules is imortant too, but any respect won by the kid being afraid of abuse isn't true respect in my eyes. 

 

My parents never hit me, and i don't think there was ever a situation where it was needed either. Any form of physical diciplining is illegal here.

[Guitargeekette]

....

 

We got beatings and stuff but my mother and family members never took it too far and it was always warranted and I guess it helps because I'm one of the few kids I know who are respectful to adults and etc. 

 

this.

 

I was never abused...I did get beatings, tho and it did instil a sense of "hey steph, if you do this there are consequences"... I can see a clear diff between kids like me and other kids, where they think nothing is wrong and think you take eveything too seriously because they take NOTHING seriously. 

 

You have to know your child, but even good kids need a beating every once in a while because kids are kids....they will try to see how far they can get with something, overtly or subtly. The parent has to find a way to let the child know they cannot get away with certain things...a time out doesn't do the trick all the time...

 

beating not meaning swatting a child with a broomstick or sumn. just a stern slapping 

[horny fangirl]

"Do you agree with abuse as a form of discipline?"

 

yes only to a reasoned level

[PinkBaby]

How could abuse ever be right?

 

I believe in hitting kids in order for them to learn, but abuse is a different story.

Making a child shed blood is not right. The punishment should not cause any injuries, only temporary pain.

A belt beating on the butt a few times is what I mean. Punching is not ok.

 

Parents should not call their children stupid. Parents should help and support their kids.

I'm sorry you had to deal with such situations. As much as we may love our parents, not all parents are good parents or know how to discipline.

[Keyes]

I agree with corporal punishment, but not with abuse. Like others have said, it's not the same thing. A single slap can be justified, but beating a kid till he's all black and blue can not.

[♥SNS-Shinomiya♥]

I believe that most parents know best in some situations. You have kids were words won't reach them pain will, and vise versa. If I had a child who needed pain to learn then he would get a lot of slaps on the hand and thumps in the back of the head. However if I had a child were firm words were enough, I wouldn't need to use pain to teach them not to do something.  I wouldn't call how a parents disciplines abuse, since that seems like your making a judgement, most times unless the child has a mark I don't think much of it.

[Hoe]

I think some people are getting confused with abuse and teaching a bitch a lesson so they know not to make that mistake again .

[Delincious]

Never.

And anyway if you need to resort to violence you need to question your authority and your efficiency as a parent.

[YIXINGISM]

I think my parents disciplined me enough. They hit me when I was a kid but tbh I'm fcking brat back then, I deserve every spank I get from my parents. But now we're good. I never experience abuse.