Should I be angry with my parents for forcing me to sing on stage? And what should I do to not be forced like that again?

[maidoan97]

Last week I had to sing alone on stage for the first time ever in my life, in front of hundreds or maybe thousands of people. And I did NOT volunteer for it at all. Want to know how I was put into this situation? Well, my mom asked the organizer of the event to let me have a performance WITHOUT asking me. So when he asked me out of the blue what song I would want to sing, I could not say no anymore. Cuz, you know, it would not be very polite, especially when the organizers were very busy and all. And that was like 2 days before the event. So I had to look for a song and memorize the lyrics.

Right before the performance, I literally cried to my mom to let me cancel the performance because, I was a chubby AND shy AND awkward girl, would I want to show myself in front of people like that? During the performance, I just kind of like get it over done with. I was super nervous about forgetting lyrics on stage. After the performance, my mom still dared to criticized me that I was too awkward, singing without making any movements like that. I just wanted to cry that she was the one who forced me, I did not ask for this at all!! I seriously hate being watched and judged by people so much !!

What should I do so that I don't have to be in this situation again??

 

I know that I should have tried to be professional or whatever since I had to entertain people, but still, I did NOT volunteer for this!!!!

I think my singing is not so bad and I like to go to karaoke with my friends, but I don't want to show my singing to strangers

I'm still kind of frustrated right now and I'm scared that next time my mom will do sth like that again. I ranted to my mom several times already but she thinks what she did was right. She even said that since I'm going to uni soon I have to get used to things like this. I'm so tired of my parents scolding me for being shy. Maybe I should try to avoid going to events with my parents altogether

 

Btw, yeah, I have Asian parents

 

Edit: okay, I should clarify what happened between me and the organiser. Since my mom asked him that, he thought I was eager to have that performance. I actually tried to say "no, no, I'm really shy" but he said that if I was good at singing (I guess my mom told him that) I should show it. I said no so many times but everything was set. I couldn't back out anymore. He told me that the rehearsal was the next day and I had to be there.

[8ternity]

It's too late to tell you now

But you should have did it as badly as you can :3

[IamHooked]

Tell your mother to read a parenting book. Forcing and pushing your child to do things they are not ready for is only going to result in badly damaging their self confidence/self esteem in the long run. 

[Clover.]

If I was you I would pretend to faint

[MyCookiessNicerThanYours]

Firstly you should definitely be angry at your mom 

Secondly did you killed it though? is it lit?

Cause i hope its lit

i hope this was the audience

[Coffee Biscuit]

It depends.

 

If you're white

Walk out.

 

If you're Mexican/Jamaican/Chinese/Black

Listen to your mother, the beating is not worth it.

[pyofriend]

That sounds really scary, if the crowd was as big as you claim it to be..

What was she thinking!

[maidoan97]

Firstly you should definitely be angry at your mom

Secondly did you killed it though? is it lit?

Cause i hope its lit

i hope this was the audience

Some people complimented my voice but I don't know if they were sincere or they just did it because my dad was kind of like the boss there

[abinh]

just make a mess onstage. they won''t dare to force u again 

[Alisonn]

Does your mum have a reason to why decided to ask the organiser for you to perform?  If no if I was in your situation I would be angry.   But really It's not whether you should be or should not be angry, because that's really depends on how you feel if.  If you're angry you're angry. 

Next time just simply decline the offer.  Even if the organiser is busy and all, don't force yourself to do things you aren't comfortable with.  Or you can always fake sick.  

[D a n t e]

You shoudl've just said no to the organizers. They can't force you. Who cares about them having to find someone else tbh, it's not that difficult. Enough people who'd love to be in your place.

[ruppi]

You should have told the organizer that you won't do it when he asked you for your song choice. It might be rude but it still was 2 days befor the show, enough time for the organizer to do something else.

 

Next time you just need to refuse, no matter what your mom says ..she can't really force you to sing

[Grape Soda]

I would have went all icejjfish on that performance. Mom would say never again.

[iamayam]

You: No.

[Darling]

Definitely wouldn't be angry if I were you. From what I gather you do sound like an awkward person who needs more experiences like this. And your mom didn't "force" you, you guilted yourself into doing it instead of saying no to the person who asked if you wanted to sing. I can understand you being upset and embarrassed, but you shouldn't be angry. Just ask her not to do it again. 

[AslanHunter]

I can't really understand since my mom would never push me to do something I was so uncomfortable with. However, some moms are like that. Just hearing your story makes me feel upset second-hand. When you try to reason with your mom, it might be more helpful if you were calm as you explained to her what she did wrong and why you won't go through the same thing again. If you talk to her hysterically she'll just feel justified in running your life for you. 

[Rapmon's Ahjussi Husband]

First: what are you good at?, singing, dancing, writting, sports, other; Second: tell your parents what's that thing you like and make them support you on it; it doesn't worth to fight your parents for this, we all had being forced to stage time , if they ask you to do it again tell them you don't like it, and if they want it so bad they can do it themselves

[bluesclues]

How old are you? Does your mom hit you? 

 

Either way, girl run from that Tiger Mom before she breaks you. 

 

To be completely frank it seems like no one "forced" you into doing anything. It sounds like you got caught up in the pressure and ended up guilt tripping yourself into it with the whole "it wouldn't be nice"/"I don't want to be unprofessional".

 

No. Stop that. You are not responsible for any of it, including making you mother's (selfish) wishes come true. If you don't want to do something, you don't do it. You can't be passive like that and get what you want. You need to learn to be aggressive at times like these.

 

Besides, if you had dropped out I'm sure the event coordinators would have been able to find a replacement or just make the show a bit shorter. The world would have moved on.

[wowjustwow]

maybe they realise that you are good at singing, you just not realise it yet. they want you to know you have the talent, so they push you to singing in front of people. i understand you were upset at them. if, the result not good, you should tell them "this is not what i want" if the result is good but still not your cup of tea, you can make it as hobby. tell them your though slowly, don't need scream like people on tv.

 

just be positive. always positive. don't create drama. our live is full with drama, don't make it complicated.

[skcebl]

So you're going to uni soon and this is the first time this happened? Congrats, you had a new experience. How did it go? Did you sing well?

[♩ ♪ ♫ ♬]

this just reminds me of when my relatives made fun of me on purpose for not having a job (their reason was to "push" me) so i went out to get a job and have declined all family gatherings because "too busy at work" ever since lol