Minnie 1,560 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 For those who had or is having a relationship, have you ever emotionally cheated? (Emotionally cheating means you find yourself becoming emotionally connected to another man/woman, think and care about that one, enjoy spending your time with that one more than your partner) Now think about that again, do you feel guilty or regret? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Boy Like Troy 3,333 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symphonyâ„¢ 11,329 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I have and is to be honest... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jany 4,154 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 yeah, I'm in a relationship with Taeyang but I also care my other bias Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessicaRabbit 6,569 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I'm in love with Janet Jackson, so my heart can never be fully won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omona 83 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 i cheat on my bias Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hey Im K 1,309 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Nope... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fire Ice 262 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 I don't even have a lover. LOL. But when I had one, I never did. I just grew out of love before I could move on to a new lover. I simply can't love two people at the same time, even one is too overwhelming for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaghayegh 1,413 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 yup but it was just a phase and I even told my boyfriend about that guy :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sane 16,342 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 It's not like you can control that kind of thing... What matters are your actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiedoughhh 72 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 yeah.. then i left him for the new one lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiedoughhh 72 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 It's not like you can control that kind of thing... What matters are your actions. no you actually can. you are human, you can control your thoughts or try to keep them in place. you can tell yourself 'dont love him' you can not wish to be with him, you can think to yourself these thoughts are wrong. you can. being emotionally weak is another thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sane 16,342 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 no you actually can. you are human, you can control your thoughts or try to keep them in place. you can tell yourself 'dont love him' you can not wish to be with him, you can think to yourself these thoughts are wrong. you can. being emotionally weak is another thing. ...Are you actually serious right now? I can't even Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0neanias 13,516 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 no you actually can. you are human, you can control your thoughts or try to keep them in place. you can tell yourself 'dont love him' you can not wish to be with him, you can think to yourself these thoughts are wrong. you can. being emotionally weak is another thing. Were it that simple. You can -- and IMO should -- try, but our feelings are not our tools. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shimjoohyun 1,137 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 yes,to the point of romantic friendship? (no sex but not platonic either) more towards guilt because both were good guys and don't deserved my hypocrisy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALICO CAT 8,999 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 no you actually can. you are human, you can control your thoughts or try to keep them in place. you can tell yourself 'dont love him' you can not wish to be with him, you can think to yourself these thoughts are wrong. you can. being emotionally weak is another thing. if you have to force yourself to love someone why are you even going out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiedoughhh 72 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 if you have to force yourself to love someone why are you even going out? wow you're clever youre not forcing yourself, im saying. if you want your boyfriend, then keep him and keep your thoughts about other guys away. i call it discipline. if you dont want him anymore, then why even cheat? break it off duh. then move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALICO CAT 8,999 Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 wow you're clever youre not forcing yourself, im saying. if you want your boyfriend, then keep him and keep your thoughts about other guys away. i call it discipline. if you dont want him anymore, then why even cheat? break it off duh. then move on what that's what I'm saying tho. Why keep dating if you have to "discipline" your feelings, just break up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulmicola 1,981 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 No, never. I can't even crush on more than a person at the same time, how could I cheat on someone? XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montchery 3,185 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Yeah.. we had just begun going out and then I went on a trip.... not good. It was stupid because it was someone I knew for less than 2 weeks yet cried when we parted our ways, I felt so guilty about that. ._. no you actually can. you are human, you can control your thoughts or try to keep them in place. you can tell yourself 'dont love him' you can not wish to be with him, you can think to yourself these thoughts are wrong. you can. being emotionally weak is another thing. It's not that easy, you can't control your feelings like that. Talking about my own experience, when it happened to me I felt really frustrated since I knew I loved my bf and couldn't understand why I was caring so much about another guy, I cried out of frustration but those are things you just can't help. You can't really just think or order to yourself "hey, stop having any sort of feelings for that person" since it doesn't work that way, BUT you can control your actions and that's what matters. If you know it's the other person (I mean, your partner) you truly have feelings for then don't do anything stupid to hurt him (or her). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiedoughhh 72 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Yeah.. we had just begun going out and then I went on a trip.... not good. It was stupid because it was someone I knew for less than 2 weeks yet cried when we parted our ways, I felt so guilty about that. ._. It's not that easy, you can't control your feelings like that. Talking about my own experience, when it happened to me I felt really frustrated since I knew I loved my bf and couldn't understand why I was caring so much about another guy, I cried out of frustration but those are things you just can't help. You can't really just think or order to yourself "hey, stop having any sort of feelings for that person" since it doesn't work that way, BUT you can control your actions and that's what matters. If you know it's the other person (I mean, your partner) you truly have feelings for then don't do anything stupid to hurt him (or her). well i've been in the same situation and you actually can. first time it happened i was stupid and thought the same things you're telling me. i cried alone for weeks out of regret and guilt. when i talked to my bf about it, i finally understood. yes. you can, actually. how about not putting yourself in the wrong position? how about not talking to this person you're feeling like this towards? how about changing the subject in your mind when your mind wanders where it shouldnt? how about you tell yourself how stupid it is what youre doing? how about you just stop thinking, talking, hanging out with this other person that is troubling you? how about you commit, body and soul to your bf? how about you realize you owe your bf respect and even if he doesnt know anything thats going on in your mind, you simply show commitment and respect even when he wont know or 'nothing is really happening', you Can discipline yourself. you Can try to block things out. maybe it wont be perfect, maybe sometimes a thought or two about this other person will pop into your mind. so? you can do WAY MORE to be faithful in body and soul, emotionally faithful, to your relationship than 'i cant control my feelings, so as long as i dont kiss him or sleep with him, i'm good' Listen, i know, i really really do know its hard. but I know it IS possible. from very painful experiences. I know, sorry thats what i still know and think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montchery 3,185 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 well i've been in the same situation and you actually can. first time it happened i was stupid and thought the same things you're telling me. i cried alone for weeks out of regret and guilt. when i talked to my bf about it, i finally understood. yes. you can, actually. how about not putting yourself in the wrong position? how about not talking to this person you're feeling like this towards? how about changing the subject in your mind when your mind wanders where it shouldnt? how about you tell yourself how stupid it is what youre doing? how about you just stop thinking, talking, hanging out with this other person that is troubling you? how about you commit, body and soul to your bf? how about you realize you owe your bf respect and even if he doesnt know anything thats going on in your mind, you simply show commitment and respect even when he wont know or 'nothing is really happening', you Can discipline yourself. you Can try to block things out. maybe it wont be perfect, maybe sometimes a thought or two about this other person will pop into your mind. so? you can do WAY MORE to be faithful in body and soul, emotionally faithful, to your relationship than 'i cant control my feelings, so as long as i dont kiss him or sleep with him, i'm good' Listen, i know, i really really do know its hard. but I know it IS possible. from very painful experiences. I know, sorry thats what i still know and think You sure can try to block your feelings, but that ain't healthy. Out of respect for my boyfriend I didn't do anything, except not getting closer with the guy so things wouldn't get anymore weird than they were, and clear up my mind and heart to make sure I was convinced of my feelings for my partner, and it helped me realize that I would never cheat on him. Aren't all those examples you just said of not placing yourself in the wrong position the same as controlling your actions tho? I mean that's what I wanted to say by my previous post, that eventhough you can't really control the feelings you have for somebody else or that attraction, you CAN control your actions. Because tbh, if we were able to control the way we felt that easily, then we wouldn't have any trouble, wouldn't have to change subjects, think about something else, stop hanging out or talking to each other. If we truly had our feelings under control then there wouldn't be the need to go through any of that, of those actions. Avoiding the problem by blocking it.. just what would you do if lets say you start feeling something for a long time friend for example? What if you HAD to spend time, longer than you wished, with that person because he was a classmate, worked with you, or is your friend.. or friend of your friends (or like in my case went on a trip and had to spend 24h together). I don't think avoiding is the answer, but rather making up your mind so you won't hurt anybody. I don't like the idea of disciplining yourself either. It sounds as if you were.. not being honest with yourself and with your feelings. But I agree on respecting your partner (in fact wouldn't be in a relationship if I felt otherwise). Having feelings for somebody else makes you reflect, whether you're or not in love and what you are willing to do about it. Had I found out I didn't really feel the same way about my bf, I would have talked about it with him, so not to cheat nor hurt that person anymore, instead of lying to him and to myself. But forcing yourself? isn't the answer, more like listening to your heart (and head so not to do anything stupid), and be sincere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwhy 239 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Stop suggesting one can control their emotions and feelings because they can't. What you can do however is what you do with those feelings and confronting the situation properly. Whether it develops or fades is entirely up to you at that point. But even then, even if you distance yourself from a person, if those feelings are there, they'll be there still even if you've convinced yourself they're gone. What you're doing is making a conscious effort in convincing yourself that you don't have feelings for someone. It doesn't work like that and as others have said, it's unhealthy and that's just lying to yourself in the end. When and if those emotions eventually make its way back to the surface, not only have you unnecessarily dragged on the issue but you'll also be in so much despair due to how naive you were behaving. It's not ideal and it's shit when it happens but it does and you can't control it. You can be the most anti-social person in the world, but when you feel for someone, you just do... It's disrespectful and unfair to yourself, your partner and the other person if you choose to just avoid it. Make up your mind and then handle the situation accordingly. It's shit, people will get hurt, but sorry THAT'S LIFE. That's love. Shit happens. And yes I've been in this situation before... except I was the boyfriend at the time and my girlfriend was the one that developed feelings for somebody else. I didn't blame her for that, because you can't control it... what I did fault her on was basically she went with your approach instead of confronting the situation and dealing with it. Keeping it hidden within yourself prevents you from dealing with it and giving it the chance to fully go away. At the end of the day, be true to yourself and your feelings. Convincing yourself and "disciplining" yourself is no better than putting on an act because you're afraid you're the type of person to fall for somebody else when you're already involved. That's unfair to everyone, especially to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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