S0YA 1,256 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I have a male best friend since fourth grade. He lives on the same block as me and our mothers are in the same group of friends. Anyway, we really became BEST friends in the year before high school, and all throughout high school. In HS we did everything together, we rode bikes, played video games, helped each other with homework, ate out together, went to movies together and he even goes shopping with me even if he hates shopping. When we got to sophomore year, I developed feelings for him. We always have pretty deep conversations but it was one night when we were with other friends and we were at a parking lot of a pretty restaurant with those stone tables and everyone somehow went home... we stayed on those stone tables and talked for the entire night. I confided him so much that day because I was going through a lot - and when I got home, I realized that I fucking fell in love with my best friend. It took me a long time to settle my feelings - if I sincerely liked him or not. Like, since I already love him as my best friend and suddenly find him attractive, that I might be mixing that up. But since then our friendship was sort of weird, because I knew that I actually did have feeling for him. I waited a month or two (yes agonizing) and there was a guy that courted me, so I asked my best friend "How do think of me as a girl?" He stopped for a few seconds and then made a fake (or mocking?) laugh and told me "How could you ask me that, I only see you as a sister." Fuaqeoqiuroiqesdhfhksjdbg that was hard. Ugh, the days following were weird because some time later he told me again that he wouldn't want anyone to hurt me and would protect me and I asked "Like a sister?" And he agreed. I then felt like I had to move on and we still met often but the itch wouldn't go away. He began dating (on and off - this dumbo can't keep a girl) but it was exhausting to keep in the feelings so I planned to confess. Months passed and it was senior year. I told him after we went to my brother's birthday at a karaoke bar that I had feelings for him. He was shocked but he told me that "You're beautiful..." But he "doesn't want to sacrifice our friendship"... Honestly, it was hard for a while but that conversation actually allowed me to take the first step in moving on. I actually began to notice the guys that liked me. A sweet guy that was courting me suddenly did events for me and I developed feelings for him. His name is Lau and he was a great guy, popular among friends, he was actually acquaintances of my best friend. The greatest thing, I actually fell in love, as in LOVE. He was everything and I was so happy and most contented in my life. Then my best friend got ugly. He told his friends some thing about me behind my back as some joke, but it came back to me, so I confronted him. I asked him why he was being so rude and that I didn't deserve that because all I did was be a good person to him. He was silent. Then he went on a quiet spree on me, but I wasn't going to do a thing unless he apologized. After one of my volleyball meets, my boyfriend was supposed to pick me up but HE was the one waiting (he doesn't even drive) and I felt disappointed because WTF I can go home by myself. So we just rode on the bus like strangers. I got home and recharged my phone and my boyfriend said my best friend told him we had a family dinner so he can just go home. Liar. I literally went to my "best friends" house and demanded to talk to him. He told me that he wanted to tell me something important. He said that he got accepted to a university out of state and that he realized he loved me/was seriously IN-LOVE with me and that it was hard for him to see me dating. I had to be honest to him and tell him that it took me so long to get over him and that I actually loved my boyfriend. He told me that it was unfair. So why do guys call you their "sister" and after all that confessing, heartache, healing, it's when you start dating they realize they love you? Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PepsiVodka 897 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 He doesn't view you as a woman because you are not acting feminine enough and there is no male-to-female attraction. Maybe try a makeover? Like do your makeup to look like Sulli or IU, wear short but frilly dresses and don't do that "video games/bikes" stuff anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dissonance 350 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 #notallguys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KILLER MEMESTAR 1,178 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Girls are the ones who are weird, most guys are simple and straightforward but women are an enigma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer 883 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 i don't get why some people make it seem like the moment you get in a relationship, you stop being friends with them. boyFRIEND. girlFRIEND. your best friend will remain your best friend even after a relationship; it's just there's a little romance added onto it. if he's scared about a relationship ending, then he's better off not dating anyone. you can't be afraid to express yourself after knowing someone for so long before dating. you'll be the culprit in why the relationship is awkward, not because you're best friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S0YA 1,256 Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 I'm not getting the replies I want Why did he call me a sister than confess to me when I already started dating??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynnie 1,207 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I'm not getting the replies I want Why did he call me a sister than confess to me when I already started dating??? I think he's jealous tbh? I mean clearly from the way he was acting . I don't wanna sound rude but he was probably too blind or stupid to realize his feelings at first and it came at a bad time. Things sound really tough for you so best wishes tbh....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_ 1,328 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I'm not getting the replies I want Why did he call me a sister than confess to me when I already started dating??? Erm...some guys see someone as a friend at first...until the storm's coming (that's you that confess to him). And the guy's flattered. Watching you in another whole perspective. Getting jealous that he knew that he can't have you because you have moved one and have a date. That's why if you have a guy best friend, better not to confess or it will become complicated to us because we see you as a sister, or friend , or something other than date or girlfriend at first. And then, boom, your friendship's gone. Based from my experience, some of my girl close friends confess to me but i pretend not to hear, then almost starts develop a feeling, but then, nah. Better not. I see them as a friend and that's it. That's how i see your guy bestfriend think of you. At least it's good on you that you can move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeolian 31 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Guys are dumb Talking by own experience He really considered you as a close friend You started dating, he got jealous Started to overthink And grew other feelings towards you Yeah, that's probably what has happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyBee12 33 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Either they were lying that they didn't like you the whole time….(to still stay close with you, therefore cal you sister) or either later after your confession, they kept thinking and thinking and then realised they were slowly falling for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitchcraft 1,377 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm not getting the replies I want Why did he call me a sister than confess to me when I already started dating??? He didn't know he liked you like that. Guys are dumb. He thought he only had platonic feelings for you, then you confessed, and just rejected you 'cause he wasn't aware. Once you started dating, he actually got jealous, and seeing you with another guy probably drove him crazy. That's when he realized he actually had legit feelings for you. He probably regrets ever rejecting you. Now, if you don't like him like that anymore, and if he's going to college far away from where you are/where you're going, just put him out of his misery and tell him it won't be possible. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S0YA 1,256 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 He didn't know he liked you like that. Guys are dumb. He thought he only had platonic feelings for you, then you confessed, and just rejected you 'cause he wasn't aware. Once you started dating, he actually got jealous, and seeing you with another guy probably drove him crazy. That's when he realized he actually had legit feelings for you. He probably regrets ever rejecting you. Now, if you don't like him like that anymore, and if he's going to college far away from where you are/where you're going, just put him out of his misery and tell him it won't be possible. :/ This is what happened. He left 2-3 months ago. Though I'm not upset anymore that he rejected me. It hurts ten times more that I lost a great person in my life. I think maybe that's why he began to like me even if I am not his type (older woman), and also even if he wasn't particularly my type either. I think over time when you meet so many people you realize it's so fucking easy to like someone because of their looks, but when connect emotionally + you fall in love with the them, they are everything to you. Anyway, thanks for the reply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firefly3 240 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 That's why it's hard to have a friend on the opposite sex. because I know at some point in time one falls for the other or both falls in love but in different time, you know timing? I heard it's a bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gloupipoo 1,619 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 He's possessive, insecure and childish. End. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyorris 84 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 If people are not related and they call each other bro and sis its the biggest bullshit... don't ever believe that shit, and if he only noticed you when another guy was making you happy then tell him to find someone else... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzy Quatro 1,441 Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 He's possessive, insecure and childish. End. Yeah, I would go with something like that too. The thing is he had the perfect chance when you confessed your feelings but even if he wasn't sure or whatever he acted very immature after that so I think you did fine moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiraishrimp 5,413 Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 this legit sounds like something out of a movie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timid Minhyuk 1,227 Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 this legit sounds like something out of a movie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margarita 0 Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I never get in a relationship so i can't say anything about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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